Hard To Love
by SOA loving mom
Summary: Kayla Teller comes home for a visit after ten years away from Charming. She has created a quiet life for herself in Colorado. While she is there she gets pulled back into the world of SAMCRO and beings to fall for the club enforcer. Will she be able to break down the walls he has built around his heart, or is Happy Lowman just Hard To Love?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1….Coming Home

**So this story has been rolling around in my mind for months, but I've been nervous to write this. I hope I do it justice and I hope you enjoy reading it.**

**This story is AU, I wanted to keep some of my favorites alive and I might touch on things that happened during the show, but I'm not getting into the cartel and Pope. I'm focusing on Darby and Zobelle. So when we start out this is loosely based right before season 2. Gemma doesn't know that Clay killed John Teller, and of course Jax has a sister named Kayla. Kayla is the younger Teller child and when she turned eighteen she went off to college and got a job teaching in a suburb of Denver, Colorado. I adore Kat Dennings so she is what I think Kayla would look like, not Happy's normal girl at all. The song that inspired me is "Hard to Love" by Lee Brice, not really a SOA song, but the words seem to scream Happy to me. Now I know there are tons of stories like this one, but I just loved this idea of writing for Happy. So I hope you enjoy the ride. Hugs, Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

Where ever that fucking ringing noise was coming from was pissing her off. Kayla threw her pillow over her head trying to ignore the sound of her cell phone going off. When it stopped she smiled to herself, maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to go out last night, but when her co-workers wanted to buy her drinks as a farewell, well who was Kayla Teller to tell them no.

Pulling the pillow from her head she glanced at the red numbers on her alarm clock, "Shit!" It was only three in the morning, who the fuck would call her in the middle of the night. Just as the thought ran thru her mind her phone started ringing off the hook again. Sighing she reached over and grabbed the phone from her nightstand, she flipped it open, her voice thick with sleep, "Hello?"

As soon as Kayla heard her brother's deep chuckle on the other end she sighed, "Hey did I wake you?"

Kayla rubbed her eyes, trying to wake her mind up, "What do you think Jackson? It's three in the morning." The last part coming out in a whine.

Jax laughed, "Well I just wanted to check and make sure you were coming home for Mom's surprise party."

Kayla sighed into the phone, "I already told you I would be there. Why are you calling so late tonight?"

Kayla heard her brother take a long drag from his cigarette, "I guess I'm just missing ya, darlin'. I was up with Abel and thought I would call, forgot you goody two shoes go to bed early."

Kayla laughed, "How is my nephew?"

Jax laughed, "He's great, can't wait to meet his Aunt Kay."

Kayla smiled, "I can't wait to meet him. Does Mom know I'm coming?"

Jax sighed, "No and we want to keep it that way. I'll have one of the guys pick you up at the airport and bring you to my house. You'll have to keep hidden till her party Friday night."

Kayla sat up on the edge of the bed, "I can do that. Tara alright with me staying with you guys?"

Jax laughed, "Yeah, she can't wait for you to get here. Just promise you won't kill Clay, that's my job."

Kayla let a small smile touch her lips, "I'm not making any promises. Speaking of the King Dick, does he know I'm coming home?"

There was a long silence, "Kayla it was his idea for you to come home. I think the old bastard is trying to fix things before he steps down."

"Well Jax, I just hope he's ready for me. I don't want anything to upset mom while I'm home, but I won't take his shit. I've lived alone for ten years now and I'm pretty set in my ways."

Jax chuckled, "I know. See you in two days sis. I love you."

Kayla hugged herself, one thing she loved more than anything in this world was her big brother, "I love you too Jacky. See you soon."

As she closed the cell phone, she wondered what her trip home would be like.

**-Hard to Love-**

Wednesday afternoon the men of SAMCRO sat around the Redwood table discussing business. When they were just about finished, Clay looked at Jax with a small smirk, "Everything set for Gemma's big party Friday?"

Jax leaned back in his chair flicking ashes into the ashtray, "I talked to her last night, she'll be here Friday around ten, I need someone to pick her up since I'll be keeping mom busy."

Tig smiled around the table, "Well I'll pick up the princess, since I'm her favorite and all."

Clay chuckled, "No can do man, I need you, Chibs, and Bobby handling the run to Tacoma. Jax is on Gemma duty and I have a meeting with Oswald."

Jax glanced at Happy who was sitting stoically at the end of the table, "Hap, do you think you can pick up my sister?"

Happy had only been half paying attention, his head was throbbing from too much whiskey the night before at Caracara. He cleared his throat, "Sure."

Tig slammed his fist against the table, "Clay, man, send Hap to Tacoma. You know the princess will want to see me and shit Hap doesn't even know what the hell she looks like!"

Clay sighed, "Tig, I'm sure Hap will find her and you'll have all weekend to pull that over protective uncle shit. Now I need YOU in Tacoma. Hap has to be here if we get any new information on this shit Darby has been pulling. Now it's settled, you go to Tacoma and Hap picks up Kayla. If there's nothing else, get your asses back to work before we all have a size seven high heel sticking out of our asses."

The erupted in laughter as the guys started filing out of the room. As Hap walked over to the bar, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Happy turned and stared into the crazy blue eyes of his SAA. Tig looped his thumbs into his belt, "You be on your best behavior. You touch one hair on that little girl's head and I'll fucking gut you."

Hap stared at Tig, the two men had been thru everything together, they'd fought next to each other, killed together, got wasted together, and hell they had even fucked the same girl together. But never had Tig ever given him shit over a gash, even if it was the fucking SAMCRO princess. Hap smirked at Tig, "Got a thing for the little gash?"

Before Happy knew what was going on Tig's fist connected with his mouth. When Happy stood up he saw Jax and Chibs holding Tig back. "What the fuck Tig?"

Tig shook loose of Jax and Chibs going toe to toe with Happy, his finger in his face, "You don't EVER talk about Kayla like that. That girl is no gash! She's a good kid and she deserved the respect that SAMCRO family deserves!"

Happy nodded, he knew when he stepped over the line. He watched as Tig stormed out of the clubhouse. He stood rubbing his jaw, Jax glared at him, "What the fuck is his problem?"

Jax stepped toward him, his hands on his hips, "Bro, let me say this, I don't usually agree with Tig, but he's always been protective over my sister. He was the one with her with our dad died and ever since then he's watched out for her like she was his own. Now I don't know what he said to you, but just keep your hands to yourself and don't fuck with my sister."

Happy just grunted and turned around to the bar. The prospect brought him a shot of whiskey which he downed. He tapped the bar for another one when Chibs sat down next to him, clapping him on the shoulder, "Don't get so worked up brother. They are just protective of the lasse. She got the 'uck away from this shite. Made something of her life. They just want to keep it that way."

Happy nodded, "I get that."

Chibs took a shot of whiskey and looked at him, "You were just a prospect in Tacoma when she left right?"

Happy nodded, he was usually a man of few words and he wasn't dumb enough after pissing off two of his brothers to say the wrong thing and end up with Chibs kicking his ass too.

Chibs continued, "When she was twelve and JT died, it was horrible. Her and Jax took it real hard. After that the little girl that use to smile and run around here, she disappeared. She withdrew into herself; the only one she would really talk to was Tig. When she left for college she stayed gone, she's calls and checks in, and Gemma and Jax go visit her, but she has her life. Just treat her with respect and you'll be fine."

Happy took the advice and made his way back to his dorm room. His only thought was making sure that he kept his head on straight until the little 'princess' left.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla stepped off the plane at the Bakersfield Municipal Airport. She sighed as she pulled her messenger bag over her shoulder, it had been ten years since she came home and in a weird way she was looking forward to spending time with the outlaw bikers that were her family. She really hoped that Tig or Jax had come to pick her up.

She spotted the tall pissed off looking biker right away. She didn't know this one. She chuckled as she watched the other people in the airport stare at him. Men in a kutte always had that effect on outsiders.

Happy stared up and down the baggage claim area; he had no fucking idea what this chic even looked like. He watched a tall blond walk over to grab her bag and smiled to himself. If that was Jax's little sister he knew why Tig didn't want him picking her up. He heard someone clear their throat and when he turned he stared at brown haired woman with large blue eyes. She smiled softly at him, "Looking for me?"

He smirked, "Kayla?"

Kayla nodded, holding out her hand, "In the flesh and you are?"

Happy stared at her small hand as his large ringed hand engulfed hers, "Happy."

Kayla laughed, "Is that suppose to be ironic or something?"

Happy cocked his head to one side, "I guess."

Kayla smiled gesturing to her bags coming along the conveyer belt, "A man of many words. Well where are you parked?" Happy watched Kayla struggled with her bags. He held out his hand and she smiled at him as he took a few of them from her. They walked out into the parking lot toward the club van. Once they had loaded her stuff and gotten inside, Kayla lit up a smoke.

Happy cocked an eyebrow at her, "Didn't think school teacher did that kind of thing."

Kayla blew her smoke out the window and chuckled, "A bad habit I picked up from Uncle Alex. Say where is he? No offense but I thought he would pick me up today or Jax."

Happy smirked, "They all have shit to do so you're stuck with me. Jax said to drive you straight to his place and stay with you till he got there."

Kayla flicked her cigarette out the window, "Wow, you can form complete sentences, wasn't sure if you could for a few minutes there."

Happy glared at her, which made her laugh, "It's ok big man, I won't tell anyone." Happy just focused on the road hoping that she shut her mouth. It was a going to be a long ass afternoon.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla felt like the day flew by. By the time her and Happy got to Jax's house, Tara and Abel were waiting for them. She spent most of the afternoon playing with her nephew and talking to Tara. By the time Jax got home they talked and caught up while everyone got ready for the party. By the time she stepped out of Tara's car at the clubhouse, she was excited.

Before she even got the door to the car shut she heard Tig yelling her name. She turned around and watched as the wild haired bad biker that she thought of as a second father saunter over to her. He stood there taking her in, she smiled as he opened his arms and she fell into his embrace, "Uncle Alex!"

Tig chuckled, placing a kiss on top of her head, "How you doing princess?"

Kayla let him wrap a protective arm around her shoulders as they walked toward the clubhouse, "I'm doing great. Missed you."

Tig gave her a tight squeeze, "I missed you too. Sorry I couldn't pick you up. Everything go ok?"

Kayla chuckled, "Yeah, you sent a real chatter box to get me. I think the man has a word limit he can't go over every day or something."

Tig laughed walking her into the clubhouse and steering her toward the bar. Before Tig could answer her, Chibs bellowed to them, "Look who the fuck finally came home! Come here lasse and give us a kiss."

Kayla smiled as the crazy Scot wrapped his arms around her, "Missed you too Chibs."

Chibs sat down at the bar next to her, "Aye, lasse, don't stay away so long next time."

Kayla sent the next hour getting hugged and teased by every member of the club. She laughed when she met Half-sack and Juice. She was glad to see some new blood in the club. She didn't miss the way that Happy glared at her from across the bar, it made her feel uneasy, but she just nodded to him and gave him a weak smile. She sighed taking a drink from her water bottle, not everyone can like you, she thought to herself. She was sitting at one of the tables talking to Tig and Bobby when someone wrapped their arms around her and lifted her out of her chair in a bear hug. When she turned around she threw her arms around Quinn's neck, "Quinn, you sonofabitch where have you been all my life?"

Quinn chuckled as Kayla planted a kiss on his lips. He hugged her and spun her around her feet flying thru the air. When he sat in her chair, he pulled her into his lap, "Miss me hot stuff."

Kayla laughed, "You know it baby."

Tig growled, "Will the two of you just fuck already and get it over with?"

Kayla laughed, "I like my tits just fine where they are. Remember I know Quinn's old lady."

Quinn laughed, "Yeah, but if I go Mormon baby, you're my number two."

Kayla slapped at his chest, "Dirty old bastard."

Before Quinn could answer her Gemma's voice floated into the clubhouse, "I don't know why I had to come tonight Clay….."

Everyone stood up and yelled, SURPISE. The Queen laughed as she was kissed by members of several charters. Jax came up next to her, "Ma, the boys and I have a huge surprise for you. Now close your eyes."

Gemma Teller-Morrow frowned, but did as her son asked her too. Jax walked her thru the crowd of people and stopped right in front of his sister, both of the siblings grinning like idiots. Gemma huffed, "Ok, Jackson, when the hell can I look?"

Kayla took a step closer to her mother, gently pulling her hands from her eyes. "Surprise mom."

Gemma stood mouth open staring at her youngest child, tears brimming in her usually steeled eyes, "Kayla? Oh Kayla sweetheart." Gemma pulled her daughter into her chest. Kayla thought for a minute that her air supply would be permanently cut off. When her mother finally released her Gemma ran her hands over her daughter's face, "You are such a beauty. Why don't you have a man yet?"

The room erupted in laughter and Kayla felt herself turning red. Jax slung an arm around his sister's shoulders, "Leave it to mom to ask you about a man first thing."

Kayla chuckled, "I know! Mom you know Quinn is taken and Tig keeps asking, but he just can't handle me in the sack." There was a ripple of chuckles as Tig nodded his head in agreement.

Gemma smirked at her children, "Smart asses, come here and say hello to Clay."

Kayla shot Jax a look as she let her mother walk her over toward her step-father. Clay stood up and smiled at his step-daughter, opening his arms she let him give her a hug, "Hey Clay."

Clay pulled away and Gemma melted up against him, "Glad to see you Kayla. Good you came home finally, nice to have the family all together."

Kayla looked around at all the faces, the people who meant the most to her, "Yeah it's great to be home. Thanks for asking me."

Clay nodded to her, he kissed Gemma on the cheek and started heading toward Tig and Piney who were lounging on the couches, he turned back toward Kayla, "Hope you stay."

Kayla just nodded; she had no plan on staying in Charming. She planned on finding a new job somewhere and starting her life anywhere but here in Charming. She gave her mom a small smile and let the party engulf her.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla sent the night watching everyone around her getting drunk and sneaking off to dark parts of the clubhouse. She even noticed her brother dragging Tara toward the dorms, some things never change. She had wandered outside and sat on top of one of the picnic tables pulling a smoke from her purse and lighting it.

She heard the clubhouse door open and when she turned she saw Happy lighting a smoke. Happy sighed as he walked over toward her, "You're not drinking."

Kayla smiled at him, "Had a small problem with moderation, so I stick to water and vanilla milkshakes now. Why aren't you curled up with a croweater by now?"

Happy shrugged, "Waiting on a call, have to have a clear head. So how long you been sober?"

Kayla took a drag on her smoke and stared out at the lot, "About six years. I drink from time to time, but when I'm stressed I know better. I don't really like to talk about it."

Happy nodded as he sat down next to her, he smiled, "What's the deal with you and Quinn?"

Kayla chuckled, "Quinn and I have a complicated relationship."

Happy stood a glance at her, "You two were a thing?"

Kayla alright laughed, "Just a onetime thing, not one of my best moments, but it was fun. Shit kind of hit the fan. Thank god Tig had my back on that one. Now Quinn and I are just friends, I have even spent weekends with his old lady and his kids. Karla is really sweet and she keeps him in line."

Happy laughed, "Yeah she does. I was Nomad for awhile and got to know her pretty well. She's got sass that one."

Kayla nodded as she threw her cigarette to the ground, "That she does. So would you give me a ride home? I hate to ask but everyone is crashing here and I after my flight I would like to sleep in a bed and not on one of those couches where Tig has fucked on."

Happy stood up, "Yeah, no problem."

Kayla grabbed her purse and fell in behind him as they made their to his bike.

When they got to Jax's house, Happy followed her inside. He did a sweep of the house, while Kayla stood in the kitchen. When he was sure the house was secure he came into the kitchen, "All clear."

Kayla smiled, "I figured, can I make you something to eat or get you a drink?"

Hap shook his head, "Nah, I'll just crash on the couch till Jax gets back or my call comes in."

Kayla smirked, "I can take care of myself. You can go back to the party. I didn't ask you to bring me home so you missed out."

Hap shrugged, "It's cool. Can't leave the VP's kid sister alone, he'll put a bullet in my balls."

Kayla laughed, "Alright, sorry I caused you any trouble, I forgot the rules."

Hap sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, "No problem."

Kayla paused at the doorway, "Thanks Happy, good night."

Happy looked up at her, "Night Kayla."

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla stretched and stared at the clock, eight in the morning, still on my school schedule she thought to herself as she stood up and made her way to the bathroom. When she came back out she noticed how quiet the house was, she figured Jax and Tara won't come back last night. As she walked down the hall she noticed Happy snoring quietly on the couch. She chuckled to herself; the bad ass enforcer was spread out on the couch in nothing but his jeans and socks. She noticed one of his toes was sticking out of a hole in his socks, she grinned as she went into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

She sat at the table and dialed her friend Reggie's number, knowing the now mother of twins would be up this early. Reggie answered on the third ring, "Tell me you're in Charming."

Kayla laughed, "I am can Dog watch the kids tonight? I really need some girl time."

Reggie laughed, "Already? You've been here what a day?"

Kayla sighed, "I promised mom last night that I would do lunch and shopping."

Reggie chuckled, "Ooooh, I get it. Afraid you'll go into family overload?"

Kayla smiled, "YES! I thought you could show me around a few clubs in Lodi. Juice was telling me that there's some great dance clubs."

Reggie laughed, "Well Dog already left for the garage, but I'm sure he'll watch the kids tonight. What time should I pick you up?"

Kayla looked at the clock on the wall, "Let's say eight. I should be able to ditch my babysitting detail."

Reggie giggled, "I'll see you at eight, wear something slutty."

Kayla hung up and smiled. At least some things don't change.

Happy stood in the hallway listening to Kayla on the phone. Who the hell was this Reggie? There was no way in hell that Jax would let her go to Lodi alone. He ran a tired hand over his face and headed back toward the couch when he heard her get off the phone. A few seconds later Kayla came walking out of the kitchen with cup of coffee in her hand, wearing nothing more than a black sports bra and a pair of booty sleep shorts. Happy watched her as she smiled at him, "Oh you're awake. Can I get you some coffee?"

Happy nodded and followed her back into the kitchen, watching her curvy ass sway in her shorts. When the hell did she get hot? As he looked at her back he saw several tattoos on her back. He reached out and traced one that was on her left shoulder, when he realized what he did he recoiled his hand like it brunt him. Kayla smirked over her shoulder, "Surprised a school teacher has tattoos?"

Happy took the cup of coffee she offered, "Kind of. Nice ink, how many do you have?"

Kayla stared at his bare chest and chuckled as she took a sip of coffee, "Not as many as you have big man."

Happy felt his cheeks get flushed, what the fuck? No girl makes him blush. He shook his head trying to erase his embarrassment, "I like the pain."

Kayla nodded, "I do too. There's something about the needle humming on your skin that calms the mind. And to answer your question, I have twelve. Most of them are small but they all mean something to me. The cameo on my shoulder is for my dad's mom. My grandma Teller use to let us stay with her during the summers and she had a large jewelry box filled with cameos. My favorite one is on my thigh."

Kayla put her foot up on the kitchen chair and pulled up the leg of her shorts. Happy stared at the familiar blue Harley, "It's your dad's."

Kayla nodded, "Yup. I had the guy use to do Tig's ink do it for me when I was sixteen."

Hap leaned against the counter trying not to think about the other tattoos he couldn't see. He was getting ready to ask her about the angel on her right shoulder when the front door opened and Tara and Jax poured inside.

Jax stared at the two for a few minutes, "Everything alright here?"

Kayla smiled, "Hap brought me home and slept on the couch. We were just having some coffee." She walked over to her brother and kissed his cheek, she looked over her shoulder at Happy, "Thanks for babysitting me, I'll see ya later Hap."

Happy nodded, taking another sip of his coffee. When Kayla left Jax moved toward him, "That true? Nothing happened."

Happy nodded, "Nothing happened. Didn't think you'd want me to leave her alone, so I crashed on the couch. Listen if everything's cool and you don't need me, I'm gonna head out. Got some shit to do at the clubhouse.

Jax nodded, giving Hap a quick one handed hug, "Ok, thanks brother. See you later."

Happy gathered up his things and headed back toward the clubhouse. The one thing he couldn't get off his mind was Kayla. He planned on having a long talk with Quinn about little Miss Kayla. The chain smoking, goodie goodie, with the booty shorts and tattoos.

**Ok, that's the start. Let me know what you think. I know the first few chapters are the hardest because you have to set the scene. Do your thing! Your reads and reviews are my drug! Kaye**


	2. The Fat Truth

Chapter 2…..The Fat Truth

**Thank you thank you thank you! To all of you that have read, reviewed, followed, or favorite! You make my day! Well here is the next installment! Let me know what you think!**

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy's head was filled with her as he rode thru town. He had so many questions about the younger Teller. She was quirky and sexy, and it was as if she didn't even know it. He never thought about other women like he did her. She spoke her mind and wasn't afraid to be herself. He sighed, he had too many questions about this girl and not enough answers. Every time he even tried to ask a question he got shut down. He knew Quinn would answer them, he just hoped he got the man alone long enough to get some answers.

Happy pulled onto the lot of Teller-Morrow, his eyes spotting Quinn sitting outside smoking. He knew the Nomad President, having had rode with him for a few years, before transferring to SAMCRO. He sighed knowing it was now or never. Happy walked over and sat down next to him. Quinn gave him a small smirk, "How was your night?"

Happy lit a smoke, "Shut the fuck up."

Quinn laughed, "Didn't get any did you?"

Happy took a drag off his cigarette, "Didn't try."

Quinn raised an eyebrow to him, "Really? Damn brother, I knew you liked blonds but Kayla is one fine looking woman. Shame you spent the night alone, Christ knows she could've used it too."

Happy stared at him, "What're you talking about? A girl like that probably has a guy back in Colorado. She ain't even gonna look at us assholes."

Quinn leaned back against the picnic table, "One thing about Kayla is she doesn't realize she's hot."

Happy huffed, "What the fuck ever, every woman says that."

Quinn shook his head, "No, it's different with her; believe it or not she was a chubby kid. Clay was fucking brutal about it, use to make fun of her and shit. When she was fourteen she got a hold of speed from one of Luanne's porn girls, by the time she was sixteen she was rail thin and popping speed and pain pills left and right. The only one that noticed was Tig. He confronted Gemma and Clay. Once he found out about how Clay had been treating Kayla he talked Gemma into letting her stay with him. He had just gotten divorced and he was missing his kids, so he took her in. It didn't take long for him to find out about the drugs. He had Kozic come down and the two of them sobered her up, Koz got her into a program which she's been working ever since."

Happy sat listening to him; he couldn't believe that Kayla had issues with her body. From what he could see she had a fine, tight ass body, she had no reason not to see that. He sighed, "How did you two hook up then? With her issues."

Quinn laughed, "Well it was before I met Karla. I was down here visiting. One Friday night Kayla came walking into the bar, it was right after her graduation. She use to play poker with us after the party died down. When she got here Tig was still locked in his dorm with twins, so I sat out here with her and we were fucking around, I dared her to play strip poker with me. I really didn't think she would, but she fucking did. I cheated my ass off that night, I knew I was taking my life into my own hands fucking around with the SAMCRO princess, but no guy in this town would go near her. I figured maybe we both need a release, so I cheated. At first she was shy, saying she was scaring me by showing off her body. But she was a vision, man, I could tell every time she lost by the way she blushed she was a virgin. So being the dick head I am, I kissed her. Went real gentle with her, and in the end she was screaming for it. She thank me afterward, said she never thought a man would want to have sex with her. Hell if she won't have gone off to college, if I won't have met Karla, maybe we would've had something."

Happy just stared out at the lot; he felt anger building up in his blood. He respected Quinn, but he had purposely taken Kayla's virginity from her, Happy glanced over at Quinn, "Fucked up playing an innocent girl with some many fucked up problems, its low even for you."

Quinn shook his head, "You don't get it. I tried to put the brakes on, but she looked up at me with those blue eyes and she started to cry. Broke my fucking heart, she sat up and pulled on her shirt, saying how stupid she was thinking a guy like me would want her. Well that was it; I told her I'd show her how much I wanted her. Not my best moment, but if you ask Kayla she'll tell ya she doesn't regret it for a minute." Quinn smiled at Happy, "She said I'm still the best she's ever had."

Happy chuckled, "Yet."

Quinn stood up as the clubhouse door opened, "Just make sure you keep it on the down low, unless you'll put a crow on her. No one around here will let her become a pass around."

Happy stood up next to Quinn as Tig came stumbling out into the morning. Happy sighed, "Don't worry I'm not planning on touching her."

Quinn gave him one last look and smiled, "Famous last words. That one, she's gonna make one hell of an old lady."

Before Happy could answer him, his phone rang. He flipped open his phone, "What?"

A few minutes later he was standing in church waiting on the others. They finally had the location of Darby's lab. Happy rolled his neck back and forth and smirked, maybe killing and burning shit would get his mind off the little dark haired bitch.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla pulled into Bill's diner and smiled, she use to love coming here in high school to do homework. So when her mother had told her to meet her there was glad to be visiting one of her old haunts. Kayla got out of the car and straightened her jacket and checked her hair in the rental car window. She loved her mother, but the woman put her on edge.

Gemma Teller-Morrow was one put together woman. At fifty years old, her long naturally wavy hair with blond highlights perfectly framed her face. And her face always had the perfect amount of makeup, her accessories just enough without being trashing, and her bitch heels always finished off any outfit.

Kayla stood watching her mother reapply her lipstick. When Gemma looked up she smiled and waved her daughter over. Kayla waved back and made her way thru the busy diner; she gave her mother a kiss on the cheek and sat across from her. "Hey mom, looking beautiful as always."

Gemma smirked at her daughter, "Smart ass. How was your night?"

Kayla sighed, "Nothing happened."

Gemma sat back and scowled; "Now you can't tell me that you had that house all to yourselves and you didn't rip his clothes off."

Kayla leaned forward, "Jesus Christ mom, I have more self control than that! What would that man want with me for god sakes?"

Gemma leaned forward and grabbed her daughter's hand, "You sell yourself short Kayla. You're a beautiful woman. Hell I see the way the boys look at you and we both know you haven't been laid since you broke up with that science teacher two years ago. You need to let loose!"

Kayla sighed; there was no winning this with her mother. Since the time she was old enough to get her first period the woman had been setting her up with one SON or another in her mind. "I promise mom that if I get the chance again I'll fuck him into oblivion. Will that make you happy?"

Gemma smirked, "Yes, but I think it would make you 'Happy' too. Now what are you going to do for a job?"

Kayla shrugged as the waitress brought them their lunch, Gemma always ordered for her, "I'm gonna start looking. I'm sure there's something in Colorado."

Gemma grinned, "Well I just happen to know that the high school is looking for a new history teacher and Principal Smith said she was thinking about starting a Drama Club. Both subjects you taught in Colorado, right?"

Kayla smirked, she should've known, "Did you talk to the school for me?"

Gemma shrugged, "Maybe, or maybe I'm just well informed on what's happening in my town."

Kayla giggled, "Well even if I interview that doesn't mean I'll get the job."

Gemma clapped her hands together, "But you MIGHT! Does that mean you'll at least interview?"

Kayla sighed, "I promise to think about it. I don't think that Clay would like me staying."

Gemma reached across the table taking her daughter's hand, her face getting soft, "Baby, Clay's the one that pulled the strings with the school. He wants to make things right. He knows how bad I want you to stay. So please for me, for my birthday, at least go on the interview."

Kayla stared down at her plate. Maybe moving back to Charming won't be such a bad thing. She looked up at her mother's hopeful face and sighed, "Alright mom. I'll set up an interview while I'm here."

Gemma squealed, "Thank you baby, you won't regret this."

Kayla just nodded, she knew she should've never have come home. She knew now she may never leave again.

**-Hard to Love-**

After a hard day of shopping with her mother, Kayla pulled into Teller-Morrow with a sick feeling. While they were out Clay had called and asked her to stop by, that they needed to talk. Kayla would rather do anything then have a discussion with Clay Morrow ALONE. She sighed as she walked into the clubhouse, the smell of smoke and pussy forming a wall as her heels clicked into the quiet. She walked over to the double doors of church. Her voice sounding more like a little girl's voice when she spoke, "Clay?"

Clay Morrow looked up and smiled at his step-daughter, "Kayla, thanks for coming. Come sit down. Did you have fun with your mother?"

Kayla forced a smile and sat down in what was normally Tig's seat. "Had a great time. Mom made me buy a ton of clothes."

Clay laughed, "She tell you about the job?"

Kayla nodded, "She did. But I don't understand why? We both know there's no love lost between us Clay. Why would you want me here all the time?"

Clay sighed and sat back in his chair, taking a long drag off his cigar, "Kayla you know I care about you. I guess I'm just the kind of guy that should've never had children. I know I'm a bastard, but you have always done what is best for SAMCRO. SAMCRO is your father's legacy and unfortunately I need you in Charming again."

Kayla stared at him, this had all been a set up, he wasn't trying to make things right between them. He needed her to do something for him; her mind was racing back to one of the worse nights of her life. Her eyes began to tear and her voice was low, "I should've known this wasn't about some old age making things right moment."

Clay sighed, "Now before you get your panties all twisted up, relax sweetheart. I need you to call in your last favor with Alaverez. The Mayans are helping Darby and I need them to back off. We have a new playing coming into town, Aryan Nation, top of the hate food chain. They have a lot of money behind them and I don't need your little brown pal backing up these fuckers."

Kayla wiped at a tear as it slipped down her cheek, "So that's it. You just need me here for that? I'll make the call and be on my way home, there's no need for me to stick around."

Clay leaned in closer to her, "I need you here to make sure Alaverez keeps his side of the deal. You seem to be the only one that he listens to. Do this for SAMCRO, for your father; he won't want this club to die at the hands of fucking white power."

Kayla stared at her hands for what seemed like forever, she slowly nodded. "Alright."

Clay nodded, "Alright to all of it right? We need you here Kayla, home with the family."

Kayla nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks, "Sure."

Clay stood up and opened his arms, "That's my girl."

Kayla stood up but didn't go to him, she started toward the door, "I'm no one's girl." With that she made her way out of the clubhouse and back to her rental car. Things were just like they always were; Kayla was only good for something when Clay needed her. She laid her head against the steering wheel, wishing that her father was there to hold her and make her feel better. If her father was alive she would've never left Charming, she never would've been treated like something disgusting under Clay's foot, and she never would've been used as a pawn to stop the Mayan war. She sat up and wiped her face starting the car and pulling herself together, she was strong. She never let SAMCRO destroy her before so she won't let them destroy her now.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy walked out of the clubhouse the next day, stretching as the afternoon sun hit his body. The day before had been crazy, he, Quinn, Tig, Jax, and Chibs had blown up two of Darby's crank labs. The last one went up faster than they thought and he had been thrown and now his lean tattooed body was screaming at him. He slipped on his sunglasses and made his way over to Tig who was staring toward the gate. Tig nodded at him, "Tig, what the fuck is going on?"

Tig sighed, "Alaverez and some of his guys are heading this way soon. Clay called them for a met."

Happy ran a tired hand over his shaved head, "Fuck! Why didn't anyone wake my ass up?"

Tig stared at the ground as Kayla's rental car came into the lot, "No point in all of us being pissed off today."

Happy watched her park the car and get out. Kayla stood against the car her eyes downcast, "Tig, what the fuck is she doing here?"

Tig looked at him and frowned, "Ask me later and I'll tell you. For now just keep your mouth shut and make sure you stay right behind her, don't let anything happen to her."

Happy nodded, not sure what the hell was going on, his head snapped up as the Mayans rode into the lot. Happy fell in behind Tig and stood close behind Kayla as she stood hugging herself.

Kayla had called Marcus the night before, the man had reluctantly agreed to the meeting, knowing that he couldn't say no to her. As Kayla stood watching the man get off his bike, she couldn't help but smile, Marcus had saved her life in more ways than one the summer she was sixteen.

Marcus Alaverez smiled as he looked at the beautiful woman that now stood in front of him, he opened his arms, "Chica, get your ass over here."

Kayla smiled as she hugged the President of the Mayans. She could hear a rumble go thru the SONS, Clay had been the only one to know what had happened to her that summer. Clay had pulled Tig in early this morning and told him, but the others had no idea why Kayla had any pull with the Mayan president. Kayla pulled away from Marcus, "Can we walk, without prying ears?" Marcus nodded and fell in step next to her.

Marcus noticed Happy and Tig following behind them, he smirked, "Looks like you have a babysitting detail chica."

Kayla glanced over her shoulder and chuckled, "Yeah, my protectors. Sorry I let him talk me into this, but if it keeps my brother and the others safe, I have to ask."

Marcus glanced over at Clay who was staring at the pair intensely, "I could just kill him."

Kayla laughed, looking down at the ground, "That would work, but my mother loves the stupid asshole."

Marcus nodded, "Alright chica, ask me."

Kayla took a deep breath staring into the deep brown eyes of the Mayan President, "Would you please stop helping Darby and back off SAMCRO."

Marcus sighed, "This is your last favor. You sure you want to use it on this?" Happy's eyebrow went up when he heard the word favor, what the fuck did the little brown haired bitch have on Alaverez?

Kayla shifted her feet, nodding slowly, "Just sit down with Clay and do this for me. I know our debt will be clear now, I just want my family safe."

Marcus nodded, pulling Kayla into a hug. He kissed the top of her head, "Real proud of the woman you've become. I guess Trager has done that." Happy watched as Tig snorted, but his face stayed blank. Alaverez pulled away from her and nodded to Tig, "You've done good with this one Trager, real good. Come on chica walk me to the lion's den."

Kayla smiled softly, her heart wasn't in this, and she knew the second she made the call to Alaverez that she was going to have to stick near Charming to make sure all sides kept up their part of this deal. She stood next to Marcus when he stopped in front of Clay.

Marcus Alaverez hated Clay Morrow, especially how he handled the tragic events that surrounded Kayla and that warm spring night all those years ago. If it had been his daughter that was raped by SAMCRO he would've took them apart piece by piece, but Clay had made a deal with Alaverez ending the Mayan war. He sighed, "Alright Clay let's sit down and talk this out, but remember I'm only doing this for Kayla."

Clay smiled, "That's all I could ask for esse, come on in, you and your boys. We'll get you something to drink and hash this out. Kayla your mother is waiting for you to help with Sunday night dinner, better run along."

Kayla nodded, Alaverez grabbed her hand one more time and gave her hand a quick squeeze, "See you later chica." She smiled at him and started walking back to her rental car. She heard heavy boots on the pavement behind her, when she turned around Tig pulled her to his chest. She let him hold her; this man had been her life line thru so much.

When he pulled away he stared at her, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Kayla shrugged wiping at a random tear that had fell, "It was over. I made a promise to Clay to not say anything. I did what I thought was safest for the club."

Tig sighed and pulled her close again, his voice in her ear, "You know he's going to tell everyone now."

Kayla nodded against his shoulder, "Yeah. I know, I'm heading to tell mom now."

Tig sighed and pulled away from her his hand cupping her cheek, "It's going to be fine sweetheart." Kayla hoped he was right, she just nodded and got into her car as she pulled away she saw Happy and Tig staring at her.

**Ok, hope you liked it! Thank you so much for all the reviews and follows! It makes my heart sing! Already working on the next chapter. Might be up by tomorrow**** Have a wonderful week you all! Hugs, Kaye**


	3. Enforcer and Protector

Chapter 3….Enforcer and Protector

**Well this story is really flowing for me. We all know that Gemma's Sunday night Family dinners are not always the best place to be and this chapter will not disappoint. You will find out the truth about what happened to Kayla that fateful night. I won't go into much detail, just give you enough information to see where she was and how far she came.**

**Kayla is tough, but in her own quiet way, which is why I love writing her. Thank you again for reading it keeps me going. Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

When Kayla entered the Morrow house she could already hear her mother cussing up a blue streak. She paused at the doorway to the kitchen and smiled at her mother, who was currently running her finger under cold water. Gemma looked up at her and frowned, "I brunt myself. You know if you had been here just ten minutes sooner to give me hand I probably won't have."

Kayla sighed, "Had to help out with a club problem."

Gemma turned off the water and stared at her daughter, "What kind of club problem has you out on a Sunday morning and why the hell didn't anyone tell me."

Kayla sighed, "Mom, maybe we should sit down. There's some things I need to tell you."

Gemma nodded her head, "Alright, let's go into the dining room."

Kayla sat down and waited for her mother. When Gemma finally came in and sat down, the first thing she did was lit up a smoke, "Well you wanted to talk, go ahead."

Kayla sighed, "Remember when I was sixteen and Clay had me stay at the clubhouse the first few weeks that school let out?" Gemma nodded, but didn't say anything. "Well I had been coming home late one night; I had gone to the high school to meet my dealer. On my way home I got stopped by two Mayans. I did everything I could to get away but they were so much stronger than me. They drug me to an old house off route 43 and they did things to me."

Gemma reached for her daughter's hand, tears were brimming in her eyes, "What kind of things did they do to you sweetheart?"

Kayla shrugged, a tear running down her cheek, her voice came out soft as a whisper, "You know what they did mom."

Gemma gasped putting one of her hands to her mouth, she shook her head, "But your first time was with Quinn when you were eighteen."

Kayla smiled at the memory, "To me it was the first time. The first time a man touched me because we both wanted it. But those men took things from me that I'll never get back. But I've worked hard to move pass that, I've pulled myself together, made my life better."

Gemma wiped at her own tears, "What does this have to do with the club?"

Kayla stared at her mother for what seemed like forever, "Marcus told me that the Mayans owed me for what the two members had done. He told me if I let them go and didn't tell anyone what happened he would give me two favors. I could ask for them any time and he on his honor as a Mayan, would give me what I needed. He saved me mom, if he won't have come those men were going to kill me. I asked him to call you, but he called Clay. When Clay got there Marcus told him about the deal he had given me. Clay saw it as a way to put an end to the war, so he begged me to use one of my favors, and I did. Within a week, Marcus had taken over the president spot and secured the peace with SAMCRO. Well that's why he wants me in town now. The Mayans were working with Darby and he wanted me to ask Marcus to quit working with Darby, so for the good of the club, Daddy's club, I did it. That's where I've been, helping make sure that the peace between the Mayans and SAMCRO stays intact."

Gemma didn't say anything she just motioned for her daughter. Kayla got up and knelt down in front of her mother, wrapping her arms around her mother's waist she sobbed. Gemma held her kissing her head, "It's alright baby. I'm so sorry honey; I wish I could take this from you. I love you so much baby and I just know your father would be so proud of you protecting the club like this."

The two women clung to each other, neither one moving. Just letting the realization of what happened all those years ago; sink in for both of them.

**-Hard to Love-**

The afternoon had been hard. Gemma had let a few tears slip down her cheeks as she and her daughter worked side by side in the kitchen. Kayla hated the pity she saw in her mother's eyes, but she knew by the time the guys got to the house for dinner she would've known. She wanted to be the one to tell her the truth.

By the time Tara and Lyla got to the house, Gemma had gotten herself under control, and the women worked together finishing up the dinner. It was close to seven when they heard the bikes pulling up. Gemma smiled at them, "Their here."

The first thru the door was Jax; he stormed right up to Kayla. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears, but she could see the anger boiling in his soul. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Kayla looked down at the ground, "Not here, not tonight. Let's just have dinner as a family, all of us together."

Jax snarled as Clay came in followed by the rest. Jax walked up to Clay pointing his finger in his president's face, "How could you put a price on what those bastards did to her? Did you ever give a shit about her?"

Clay gave Jax a little shove backward and the two men were at each other's throats. The other guys moving to pull them apart, so they didn't kill one another right there in the dining room. Gemma was trying to calm Clay down; Tara was pulling on Jax trying to get him to back down. Kayla stood in between them, "Please stop! It's been a hard enough day without you two doing this!"

Clay pointed at Kayla, "Just shut your fat ass up. The men are talking!"

Kayla stood there for a moment her mouth wide open. All of a sudden she was a twelve year old little girl, suffering from the loss of her father, and here was her step-father telling her what a fat ugly mess she was. Kayla just nodded, tears falling from her eyes. Clay took a step toward her, sighing, "Kayla I'm sorry that came out…."

Before Clay could finish what he said Tig connected a left to the man's jaw. As the other members tried to stop the mayhem, Kayla grabbed her purse and headed out the door.

She sobbed as she walked down the street. She knew she was too upset to drive, but she had to get away. She made her way to a small park that was nearby her mother's house. Kayla found a park bench and sat down hugging her purse, she could feel her cell phone vibrating but she just stared out into the now empty park. She heard the sound of the bike before she saw it. She just kept staring ahead, trying to tell herself she was better than all of this, she was strong. But she couldn't help the feeling that she needed a drink, something to make everything feel numb. She sobbed harder, this time pulling herself into a ball.

Happy stood in the dining room watching the insanity. Things had been bad at the clubhouse; there wasn't a member at the table who wasn't pissed after Clay told the story about Kayla and the Mayans. He could hardly control himself, the thought of two of those fuckers putting their hands all over her, she was fucking innocent. He wanted Jax to hit Clay, fuck he would've put a bullet in his head if someone would've asked. She was his step-daughter, he should've protected her, not use her attack to his advantage. He noticed Gemma looking around franticly, "Where's Kayla?"

Happy sighed, "Don't worry Gemma I'll find her." Gemma nodded her thanks to him as he walked out the door. He scanned the driveway and saw her rental car still sitting there, she couldn't have gone far. So he got on his bike and went up and down the streets of the small development till he saw a shadowy figure sitting on a bench at the park. He took his bike up over the curb and parked behind her. He couldn't hear her crying, but by the way she was balled up he knew she was.

As he walked around to face her, he sighed, "You shouldn't go off alone."

She didn't look up at him, "I'm fine."

He looked down at her, putting his hand out to her, "Come on, ride with me."

Kayla brought her eyes up him, tears rolling down her face, "What?"

Happy sighed moving a little closer to her, his hand still out, "'Come ride with me. It will help clear your head."

Kayla stared at him for a minute then with a shaking hand she let him help her off the bench. As they were walking over to his bike he glanced at her, "If you ever take off like that without a gun, I'll kick your ass."

Kayla wiped her face and let out a small chuckle, "Yes sir."

Happy scowled at her as he handed her his helmet and put on his night goggles. After she was on the back of his bike, he turned to look at her over his shoulder, "Hang onto my waist, I'm not telling Gemma I let your ass fall off."

Kayla gingerly put her arms around his waist; Happy grabbed her hands and pulled her arms around him tight. She sighed leaning against his back letting her cheek touch the leather kutte, just like she use to ride with her father. As they rode thru the night there was something calming about being on the back of a bike, the smell of the summer air, and the leather was soothing. They stopped just outside of Lodi for gas. Kayla was standing leaning against the bike when Happy came out of the gas station holding two bottles of water. He handed her one and scanned the horizon, "Feeling better La?"

She smiled at him, "Yeah. I guess I needed this. Thank you."

Happy nodded, "I better get you back."

Kayla put her hand on his arm, "Would you just take me back to Jackson's. I can't face my mom and Clay again."

The ride back to Charming was quiet. As they pulled up to Jax's house, Kayla let out a loud sigh, she was nervous about seeing her brother after the fight at her mom's. Happy waited till she got off to move. Kayla handed him his helmet, "Thanks again."

Happy took the helmet and put it on his handbars, "Not leaving yet La."

Kayla smiled at him as they both walked toward the house. As soon as Kayla opened the door, Jax was in the hallway; he walked over and engulfed her in his arms. Jax kissed the top of her head, "I'm so sorry darlin'. I'm so fucking sorry."

Kayla pulled away and gave him a weak smile, "It's alright. Hap took me for a ride to clear my head."

Jax nodded glancing up at Happy, "I know he texted me to let me know you were with him and fine. Mom's beside herself, she almost killed Clay and Tig before we left."

Kayla laughed, "I wish I could've seen that. I'm really tired, I'm heading to bed."

Kayla turned to Happy and surprised the hell out of him by wrapping her arms around his waist, "Thank you for tonight." Happy stood there stone still, at first he didn't know what to do, but he finally wrapped his long arms around her and hugged her back.

Happy took a deep breath taking in her scent, "You're welcome girl. Get some sleep."

Kayla walked down the hall and disappeared into her room. Jax walked toward Happy giving him a quick hug, "I can't thank you enough brother for going to get her getting her calmed down."

Happy nodded, crossing his arms, "No problem brother. I'll see you tomorrow."

Jax blew out a tired breath, "Yeah tomorrow's ma's Taste of Charming. Got to love Memorial Day."

Happy opened the door, "Yup, spend our day off being bitches for your mom." Jax laughed as Happy left. Once the door was closed Jax stood there for a moment. He walked down the hall and stopped outside of his sister's room; he opened the door and peeked in at her.

Kayla looked up at him from the bed and smiled. Jax smiled back and shut the door, at least for tonight he knew she was safe and he made a silent promise to himself that he would keep his sister safe no matter what.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla's day had been insane. She woke up early to her phone ringing. It seemed that Principal Smith from Charming High was going on vacation and she wanted to interview Kayla before she left. So after Jax dropped her off at her car she had spent most of the morning at the Charming Board of Education, interviewing. Before she left they had offered her the job. She took it and hurried to make her way back to Jax's house and get changed.

As a little girl she use to love the Taste of Charming. It had always been one of the highlights of her year. Her mother always fussed over every detail, while Jax and Kayla followed their father around, listening to him talk to people, talking stories and joking around. Kayla's favorite part of the day was always at night when they did the fireworks. Otto would pick up Jax and put him on his shoulders, while their father would pick up Kayla and she would sit on her daddy's strong shoulders and watch the fireworks. There was nothing like it in the world.

By the time she got to the Taste of Charming her mother was in full panic mode. Gemma looked up and saw Kayla in her faded blue jeans, her brown knee high boots, and a brown peasant top that showcased her cleavage. "Thank god you're here! The boys haven't gotten here yet and I need a pee break. Will you please watch the booth while I run to the bathroom and check on a few things?"

Kayla smiled, kissing her mother's cheek, "Yeah, no problem mom."

Gemma grabbed her purse and stopped to hug her daughter, "I'm so glad you came. I know things were bad last night, but I'm so proud of you baby."

Kayla nodded, "Learned from the best mom." Gemma smiled and disappeared into the crowd.

After an hour, Gemma returned, having checked on all the other booths. Gemma looked at Kayla, "Baby girl would you please run to my car and get the box of cups from the back seat?"

Kayla sighed, "Yup." She waited impatiently as Gemma fished thru her purse finally producing her keys.

Gemma grimaced at her daughter, "Enough attitude?"

Kayla smirked, "Not enough."

Gemma slapped at her arm and smiled, "Glad to see your smart ass meter is just fine today."

Kayla made her way thru the crowds toward the parking lot. She was just getting ready to unlock her mother's car when she heard a voice she knew she would never forget. "Well look what we got here. Is that you princess?"

Kayla's hand began shaking as she turned around and came face to face with Marcus Alaverez, Jr., one of the Mayans that had taken her all those years ago. Kayla's eyes darted around the parking lot, when she saw Happy making his way toward them.

Happy had seen Kayla heading to the parking lot and he figured he would just keep an eye on her. When he saw the Mayan head toward her, his blood boiled. He saw the terror on her face and knew that this asshole needed to die. He stopped behind the three Mayans, his raspy voice making them jump, "Kayla come here."

Kayla moved around the Mayans and stood behind Happy. She almost hid herself in the back of his kutte. Happy stared down at the little pricks, all three of them were laughing at them, "You boys need to move along. I don't think your Prez would like you hanging out in Charming."

Marcus Jr., snickered at him, "Oh yeah, and you gonna make us leave esse?"

Happy slowly opened his kutte flashing the men his guns under his kutte. "I would love to make you leave permanently. Now unless you want me to send your head back to your daddy in a fucking box you'll turn around and get the fuck out of here."

Kayla was shaking, she didn't know what to do, she was frozen. She heard Chibs and Bobby behind them. Bobby stepped up next to Happy, "Something going on here Hap?"

Happy glared at the Mayans, "These assholes were just leaving."

Marcus Jr., nodded, "Yup, just leaving, but we'll see you real soon princess."

Happy went to take a step toward them, but Kayla pulled him back by his kutte, mumbling into his back, "You can't the truce." Happy growled, watching the little fuckers leaving. Bobby and Chibs walked toward them, watching the Mayans as they mounted their bikes.

Happy reached around him and pulled Kayla up against him, his arm wrapping around Kayla, he wanted to send a very clear message to the Mayans that she was protected. That she belongs to the club, maybe even to him.

Kayla kept her head turned; she couldn't look at Marcus again. She knew the reason that Marcus Sr, had made the deal all those years ago was to protect his oldest son. She shuddered and once the bikes were gone she pulled away from Happy.

Happy watched her as she fumbled with the keys in her hand, when they finally hit the ground, he sighed picking up the keys. Bobby and Chibs came back, Chibs stared at Happy and then Kayla, "Kayla, lasse what are you doing out here?"

Kayla stared at the ground her voice soft, "Mom needed the box of cups from the car. They came up behind me."

Chibs sighed taking the keys from Happy, "It's alright lasse, let Happy walk you back to the booth. Bobby and me will get the cups so your ma doesn't bust a blood vessel."

Kayla nodded; Happy put his arm around her shoulder and started walking her back toward the crowds. Before they got there he pulled her down the fence and back behind the school. Kayla stared at him as he gently pushed her up against the building, Happy's black eyes pierced into her soul, "You hurt girl?"

Kayla shook her head, "No they just shook me up."

Happy nodded, "Was he one of them? That what got you so spooked?"

Kayla stared at her feet, "You know I can't tell you. It's safer for everyone that way."

Happy sighed, bringing his hand to her chin and moving her head so that her blue eyes were staring into his, "You know I'll protect ya La, you just have to tell me and I'll kill those fuckers."

Kayla shook her head, "No! You can't, it will destroy the truce." Kayla grabbed the front of his kutte; Happy could see the panic in her face, "Promise me Happy."

Happy sighed, "I promise, but you promise me something girlie. Promise me that you stick close to one of us at all times."

Kayla tried to look down again, but Happy forced her to look at him, his eyes were blazing, his voice was harsh, "PROMISE ME!"

Kayla nodded, "I promise. I promise." Before she could say anything else, Happy brought his lips to hers, kissing her hard. Kayla could feel the urgency in the kiss; she groaned into his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Happy could feel his whole body come alive, as the kiss deepened. He pushed his body flush against hers, loving the feel of her soft breasts pushing into his chest. He was slowly moving his hand up from her hip, when his phone went off. Happy leaned his forehead to hers, "Shit."

Kayla laughed as he opened his phone and glared at her. He kept his body against hers, "WHAT?"

Kayla watched as he frowned at her, she knew he had to go and that he didn't want to. "I'll be right there. Just walking Kayla back, she needed air, Tig." He snapped the phone close, his thumb tracing a small pattern across her swollen lips, "Shit La, come on."

He grabbed her hand and walked her back toward the booth. Before they got there he dropped her hand and the two of them acted like nothing happened. But Kayla knew by the way her heart was racing there was no way she could ignore how badly she wanted Happy. In just three short weeks she would be moving to Charming for good, she wondered what that would mean for her.

As Happy got on his bike his mind lingered back to the little brown haired girl that had his mind so wrapped up, she was getting under his skin like the ink of a tattoo. He wondered how he would stay away from her when she was finally living in Charming. One thing was certain, Quinn had been right, Kayla would make one hell of an old lady and that thought scared the shit out of Happy Lowman.

**Ok, two updates so close together! Let me know what you think**** Hugs, Kaye**


	4. Moving In

Chapter 4….Moving In

**Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews and the follows are blowing my mind for such a new story! So while the thoughts are flowing I thought you all might like another chapter! Here we go! Enjoy the ride**** Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

The sight of boxes was starting to make Kayla nausea. She had been true to her word and made it back to Charming in a little over three weeks. The drive to Charming had been heart wrenching. Kayla drove her Camry following behind Half-sack and Phil, who had the U-Haul and her Ford Shelby GT500 trailing behind them. Every time they ran over a bump and Kayla watched her Shelby bounce all over the trailer she felt sick. She had saved for-fucking-ever to get that car and if the prospects get so much as a chip on her she was going to feed them their own nuts. But she made it without a full blown nervous breakdown and when they pulled into the drive of the small duplex she would be sharing with Tig she let out a deep breath.

Getting out of her car she went right to the trailer, as she removed the straps she heard laughing behind. Tig walked up behind her, "Want me to move her doll?"

Kayla glared at him from over her shoulder, "Fuck you, NO. This here is my baby; it would be like me asking you if I could ride your bike. Are you going to let me do that?"

Tig chuckled and shook his head, "That's never gonna happen, no matter how much I love you."

Kayla smiled at him, "Then let the ramps down so I can take her for a spin."

Tig took the ramps down and was watching her slowly back the Shelby down and out of the drive as the rest of the guys pulled up. They all watched as she pulled the car to the end of the street. When she peeled out and took it out of sight Tig glanced at Jax behind him who was smiling, "I see my sister is already on her way to her first Charming speeding ticket."

Tig laughed, "You know her, she loves that fucking car more than any of us. PROSCEPTS, get that trailer off so we can unload this shit."

Kayla was having a blast, she knew she should be back but after sitting in her boring ass Camry, she needed a little fun. She hit the accelerator as the thank you for visiting Charming sign came into view. It was then that she heard the siren and sighed, David Hale. Kayla pulled over and grabbed her registration from the glove box. She smiled as she lowered the window. David Hale smirked as he leaned down looking into the window, "Well I should've guessed, how are you Kayla?"

Kayla laughed, "Just great. Wanted to take her out for a little spin, I guess I was speeding a wee bit?"

David chuckled, "Let me guess if I run your name this won't be the first time you've been stopped."

Kayla shrugged, "Well you know a girl has to find her own fun."

David sighed looking down at the registration that Kayla held out to him. "I'll tell you what, you promise to keep the speeding out of Charming and I'll let you slid, but just this once."

Kayla gave him her best angelic smile, "Thank you officer Hale, I promise, scout's honor."

David laughed, "I don't think you were ever a scout, but you head home and drive the speed limit."

Kayla giggled and gave him a salute, "Aye, aye sir! I owe you one David. Thank you."

Kayla turned the car around and headed back toward Charming. When she pulled up to her new home, she was shocked that half the truck was already unloaded. She smiled as she watched her mother supervising the guys. She walked up and stood next to her, "How's it going mom?"

Gemma rolled her eyes and put her arm around her daughter, "Someone had to get these guys in gear. Did you get a ticket?"

Kayla smirked, "I talked my way out of it, Hale gave me a warning."

Gemma sighed giving her daughter a playful smack on the ass, "Get inside and start working. Jesus Kayla you're home for less than an hour and already you're getting pulled over."

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy had been hauling shit back and forth for the past hour. He dumped a stack of boxes on Kayla's bedroom floor when one of the boxes fell over. "Shit." As he bent down to pull the contents back inside he noticed this box was full of lingerie. He let out a low whistle as he picked up a black lace thong and stared at it. His mind automatically thinking about how the thong would look on her round prefect ass. He heard Quinn chuckle from behind him, when Happy turned around the Nomad president was leaning against the doorframe smirking.

Quinn couldn't help himself, "KAYLA, Happy's going thru your underwear!"

Happy glared at the man, what the fuck? Kayla appeared a few seconds later with her arms crossed over her chest, "Happy what are you doing?"

Happy was dumbfounded, "The fucking box fell over I was just trying to put the shit back into the box." He started to move pass her and Quinn when Kayla put her hand on his chest stopping him.

Kayla smirked up at him and then bit her bottom lip, "Can I have my thong or did you want to keep those?"

Happy looked down at his hand which was still gripping the black lace, "FUCK." He blushed and thrusted the underwear in question into Kayla's waiting hand. He glared at Quinn who was doubled over laughing and pointed at him, "Not fucking cool man, pay backs are a bitch."

Quinn stood straight up, "Hey you can be my little bitch if you wear those." Happy stormed out of the house to light up a smoke, what the fuck was his problem. He never fucking blushed over a gash and this bitch had him blushing twice now. He growled as he took a long drag on his smoke. He would get Quinn back, that fucker was going down. Maybe a few rounds in the ring Friday night would remind the Nomad president who he was fucking with. He felt someone next to him and when he turned his head he saw Kayla smirking staring out on the neighborhood.

Kayla couldn't help herself, she knew what guys like Happy did for the club. Her Uncle Otto did the same thing, and he was one of her favorite people in the whole world. She knew guys like Happy and Otto had to find something to keep them human and if her friendship or whatever the hell was going on with them helped then she was all for it. "What do you think of the neighborhood?"

Happy snorted, "I think they'll take one look at the shanks that Tig brings home and they'll vote you out at the home owners meetings."

Kayla laughed, "We have rules, no croweaters in the house."

Happy turned a little so he could watch her face, "Does the same rule apply to you?"

Kayla half grinned, "Oh yeah, I'm not allowed to bring any croweaters home either."

Happy chuckled, "That's not what I meant. Are you allowed to bring home 'dates'?"

Kayla looked up at his jet black eyes, "Why are you asking if you can stay the night big man?"

Happy smirked moving so that he was in front of her, his hand going to her hip, "Why you asking me to spend the night?"

Kayla leaned in toward him, her hand going to his rock hard chest. Happy leaned down and before his lips could contact with hers, Kayla spoke in a whisper, "You couldn't handle this big man."

He watched her as she walked away, her cute little ass swaying. He growled, having this little bitch so close was going to fucking kill him.

**-Hard to Love-**

One of the worse things about living in Charming for Kayla had to be the weekly meetings of the old ladies. Once she had unpacked and gotten the house in order, her mother ordered her to attend these meetings. Most of the time they were just bitch sessions, where Gemma and Luann complained about the guys, but sometimes they planned events. The big event on her mother's agenda was the annual fundraiser for St. Thomas Hospital.

Kayla was glad to have Tara there, the two usually spent most of their time writing notes to each other on the notebooks her mother ordered everyone had. Kayla was listening to her mother drone on and on about last year and how they didn't reach their goal. She started drawing little stick figures in her notebook to pass the time when she heard her mother's irritated voice, "Kayla? I asked you if you had any ideas."

Kayla looked up and saw that every eye was on her, she swallowed hard, her mind racing. "What about a pin up calendar? You could use women in the community and do a different woman for every month. We did that as a fundraiser back in Colorado. It was the hottest teachers calendar, I wasn't in it, but I helped with hair and makeup and it was really fun and we made a ton of money."

Luann's eyes got wide, "That's a great idea. We could use Caracara for the shoot. I could get one of my guys to do the pictures and my girls could do the hair and makeup."

Gemma smirked, "That is a great idea. But who could we get?"

Kayla huffed out a deep breath, glad that her idea was a success, but even happier that the attention was off of her. She went back to her drawing, when she heard her name again.

Luann went thru the list, "We could get Maddie White from the library and Principal Smith. Debbie down at the bakery and Julie the hairdresser on Pleasant Street. But what about our group, which one of us is going to do the biker chic centerfold?"

Gemma's smile went wide as she looked over at her daughter who already had her head back into whatever the hell she was doing in her notebook, "Kayla will be our centerfold."

Kayla's head snapped up, "No, I won't. Who the hell wants to see me in a calendar?"

Tara smirked at her, "You're the only one without an old man. That way no one will get pissed at you."

Kayla shook her head, "No, NO WAY! There is no way in hell I'm going for this. I'll help with hair and makeup, hell I'll take the damn photos, but I'm not going to be in it!"

Luann laughed, "You have to be kidding me! With those tits and that ass, there isn't anyone at this table that can touch you! You have to do it."

Kayla stood up, she was wearing a pink Colorado state shirt and jeans, she pulled at the tee shirt, "Does this look like pin up to you?"

Gemma stood up and moved over to her daughter, she tugged the shirt tight against her daughter's skin making her curves come popping out. Kayla turned bright red as she heard the table of women mutter in agreement, "No, I'm not a model."

Gemma laughed pulling her into a hug, "Neither are any of the other women. We need you because you aren't the mold of an old lady, you're young and fresh."

Luann laughed, "And have great tits. What? Guys love great tits. Do you realize that my girls pay to have those kind of tits, while you were just born with them. Hell you know if you need some extra cash…"

Kayla held up her hands in defeat, "Enough. Fine, I'll fucking do it, but I'm not going to be any good and I sure as hell won't enjoy it."

Gemma chuckled as she took her seat, "That's all I can ask for. That's all I can ask for."

**-Hard to Love-**

Church was full of smoke as the men of SAMCRO finished up their meeting. A lot of shit had gone done in the month that Kayla had moved back home. They had successfully taken out four of Darby's crack labs and there were rumors that Jacob Hale was meeting with higher ups in the Aryan Nation. Clay had advised them all to be on alert, keep their eyes open, maybe the white hate group would slip up. Clay slammed the gavel down. As the guys started to get up and leave Jax nodded at Tig, "You going over to Caracara to watch the photo shoot?"

Happy stopped at the doorway watching Tig's face, "Well I don't know if I want to see Kayla lying all over your bike man. I have to live with that shit."

Jax laughed, "Well I'm going. Tara is wearing this cute ass doctor outfit for hers, I ain't missing that shit."

Happy's brown crinkled, "What the fuck are they doing?"

Clay stood up and chuckled, "My dear wife is organizing this 'charity' calendar for the hospital and she's roped several women in the community into doing pin up shoots."

Quinn smiled, "Well I'll go watch, can't touch with having a mean ass old lady at home, but I sure as hell can look."

Jax playfully pulled Quinn into a head lock, "Just keep your EYES off my old lady."

Happy didn't say anything he just fell into step behind the other men. Quinn got on his bike and looked at Tig who was next to him, he nodded toward Happy, "You think he's coming with us?"

Tig smiled sinisterly, "Oh I'd bet on it."

Quinn smirked, "I'll take that bet, hundred bucks says killer doesn't go with us."

Tig pulled his helmet on, "Deal. But if he DOES go I say a grand he ends up losing his shit on the photographer, while he's taking pics of Kayla."

Quinn smiled, "I'll go one further, I say instead of beating the shit out of the photographer, he pulls Kayla into a room and fucks the shit out of her."

Tig nodded, "Agreed. You know those two really should just fuck and get it over. I'm about damn sick of her moping around the house, because she has nothing to do on Friday nights and Killer is just as fucking bad."

Quinn laughed, "No matter what happens this shit will be fun." Both men laughed as they drove pass Happy. When they pulled to the stop light close to Caracara both Quinn and Tig burst into laughter looking back at Happy.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla sat in front of the mirror and stared at her reflection. Her wavy brown hair was teased to heights that an eighties glam band would be proud of. Her makeup was so thick she was sure it would take a blow torch to get the shit off. As she stared down at her clothes she wondered what the hell her mother had been thinking. She was wearing a black half shirt that had a heart cut out right able her cleavage. She was wearing super short, leather booty shorts, black fishnet stockings, and three inch black leather boots that went to her knee. She was a fraud. She saw her mother came walking back in with Tara, who had just finished up her shoot in a too small doctor's coat and teddy.

Kayla stared at her mother, "Please give me something else to wear. This isn't me."

Gemma smiled, "I know but honey that's the point. It's for one hour and it will be all over."

Kayla stood up wrapping her arms over her stomach trying to hide, "But what if someone buys it and sees me. Why don't you have Lyla do it."

Gemma frowned, "Lyla is four months pregnant and she's an old lady. What's the matter afraid one of the guys will throw you over his shoulder and slap a crow on you?"

Kayla narrowed her eyes, "That's your plan isn't it? You're making me do this so I GET A MAN! Jesus Christ mother!"

Gemma snickered, "Well the guys are out there supervising Charlie the photographer."

Tara piped up from behind Gemma, "He's freaking hot! You'll love him! Its fun Kayla just have a good time with it. Break out of your comfort bubble."

Kayla sighed slumping back down in the makeup chair, whining, "I think I'd rather fuck Phil."

Gemma and Tara busted out laughing. Gemma moved over and helped guide Kayla out of the chair, "Come on. Your brother is letting you use his bike to pose on. If you want I'll try to get the guys to leave, but Quinn and Tig are having so much fun."

Kayla sighed, "Well as long as it's just them and Jax. I guess it's not so bad." She saw a smirk slowly spread across her mother's face. Kayla stopped, "Mom, please tell me that they're all not in there."

Gemma smiled at her innocently, "Jax said Happy came as soon as he heard you were posing. I think he's staking a claim."

Kayla huffed and turned back toward the dressing room, "I'm out."

Gemma laughed grabbing her daughter and pulling her back toward the shot, "Come on. This might be just what Hap needs to push him to stake a claim. Just have fun with it."

Kayla groaned as they entered the stage. Jax's bike sat in the center of flowing silver fabric. Happy, Quinn, and Tig were all sitting on a couch across from the bike. Quinn and Tig looked like they were ready to explode like two toddlers at Christmas. Jax stood looking at his sister and smiling, while Happy looked more pissed off than normal. As she walked toward them, Quinn and Tig stood up clapping whistling and hollering at her. She flipped them both off as her brother gave her a tight hug, "You look great sis."

Kayla stared up at him, "If you love me get me the hell out of here."

Jax chuckled, "No can do darlin'. You're trapped."

Before Kayla could answer a very tall, handsome, well built blond walked toward them with a camera in his hands, "You must be Kayla. I'm Charlie; I'll be your photographer today."

Kayla nodded, shaking his hand, "Hi Charlie, nice to meet you."

Charlie smiled at her, looking her up and down, Happy sat up straight on the couch watching the little asshole look Kayla up and down. As Happy balled his fist up against his knee, Tig slapped at Quinn and the two men smiled. Tig glanced over at Kayla and the douche bag photographer, "Hey Kayla, you're getting my dick hard."

Quinn laughed as Happy punched Tig in the shoulder. Tig grabbed his shoulder, "Ow, Jesus Hap, next time taking my fucking arm off."

Happy just growled at him. They thought this was so funny, but he could tell how uncomfortable Kayla was standing there like that. Jesus, his mind was trying to remember ever inch of her for later use. He had to admit, he might have to go out and buy up all the calendars, the thought of a bunch of assholes beating off to her was pissing him off. And then the pretty boy photographer, he needed to be educated too; no one looked at her like that, NO ONE.

Kayla glanced over at Tig and Quinn, "If you can't keep your mouths shut I'll have Jax throw you two out." Both Quinn and Tig held their hands up feigning innocence; Kayla rolled her eyes and took a step toward the bike.

Charlie held her hand as she moved onto the bike, "Now Kayla, just block everything out. Your mom said you weren't very happy about doing this, but you look great. Now just straddle the bike, lets it, put your hands in front of you, great. Now bite down on your lip a little. That's fucking hot."

As Charlie took the photos, Kayla felt more at ease. She tried to pretend that Happy wasn't sitting just a few feet from her watching the whole scene, because in her mind she was imagining that it was him taking the photos.

Happy felt his crotch getting hard as Kayla moved herself around on the bike. The combination of the lack of clothes, the fishnets, and her tats was driving him nuts. The way she bit down on her lip, he could just see her doing that as he pounded into her. He ran his hand over his head, trying to get the thoughts out of his head, but it was too late. He was a fucking train wreck and he knew it.

Quinn and Tig sat smugly on the couch watching as Happy inched himself toward the edge of the couch. They knew between the very touchy feely photographer and how hot Kayla looked something was going to happen. As soon as Charlie told her she was finished and started to move toward the bike to help her down, Happy stood up and closed the distance before the man had made a full step. Quinn and Tig sat on the edge of their seats waiting to see what Happy had planned.

Happy had no idea what he was doing, but when he saw her move to get off the bike he knew there was no way in hell that, that douche was going to touch her again. He stepped in front of the bike and held out his hand to her, Kayla smiled up at him and gave him her hand. As he pulled her to her feet, he pulled her close to him and possessively gave her a soft kiss, "Ya did good La."

Kayla's heart was beating so hard in her chest she was sure that he could hear it. When he kissed her, she felt her knees getting weak; she smiled at him, "Thanks big man."

Charlie appeared next to Happy, "You did really great Kayla."

Kayla smiled, "Thanks Charlie, it was fun." She turned and walked back toward the dressing room. Happy noting how her shorts had ridden up showing two tattoos on her ass cheeks. He raised an eyebrow and smirked, damn bitch has them all over. He turned to see Charlie also watching her go.

Happy turned making sure his chest was right up against Charlie's, "You want to keep your fucking eyes, you'll stop looking at my girl like that."

Charlie smirked at him, "Her mother said she didn't have a boyfriend."

Happy growled, "Her mother was misinformed."

Charlie laughed holding up his hands, "My bad." Happy watched the man retreat and head toward the offices of Caracara where Gemma and Luann were looking at the photos from the other shoots on the computer.

Jax stared at Quinn and Tig, "Well how wins your little bet. Kind of looks like a wash to me. He kissed her and threatened the guy."

Quinn smirked at Jax, "Yeah, but it was fun as hell. I'm glad I'm staying for the party tonight, can't wait to watch Killer drag your sister back to his dorm."

Tig slapped his own knee, "I'll take that bet! I don't think she'll go."

Quinn laughed, "Ok, two grand says they end up back in Hap's room at the end of the night."

Tig nodded, "Ok, two grand and I say she won't do it."

Jax sighed, he wasn't sure who he was rooting for, on one hand he didn't want Tig to win, but he also didn't want his sister fucking one of his brothers in the clubhouse. To say the least tonight would be an interesting evening.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla had changed as soon as she got back to the dressing room. She was SOOO happy to be back in her jeans. She had a green cami on with a white button down that tied in the front. She pulled her crazy teased hair up in a messy bun; the only thing that was going to help it was a hot shower and lots of shampoo. The biggest problem was all the makeup. She was staring at herself in the mirror wiping franticly at her red lips when she saw Charlie standing behind her watching her. She smiled in the mirror at him, "Don't tell me I need to do that again."

Charlie chuckled, "No, no you're fine. The shoots were great, in fact your mom and Luann were blown away by them. I was just wondering if you weren't busy tonight, maybe you might like to grab a drink with me."

Kayla blushed, turning to face him, "Well I have this thing to do tonight, with the family, but if you want to you could give me your number and I'll call you if I can get out of it."

Charlie smiled, "That would be great." Kayla handed him her cell phone and he programmed his number . "Well I'll be waiting for your call." Kayla nodded watching him leave, she stared a little too long at his ass, he was hot. She giggled to herself turning to wipe more makeup off her face.

**-Hard to Love-**

There was one thing that Tig Trager hated more than anything was losing. He thought all the way back to Teller-Morrow how he could ensure himself the winner of he and Quinn's little bet. As he pulled into the lot and parked his bike he stared at his answer. The Vanover twins, Melissa and Ann, tall, blonds with big tits, that liked to double team the guys. He knew that Happy had a hard spot for the two blonds; they were some of his favorite play things. He smirked as he sauntered over to the two girls, who waved in unison, "Hey Tig."

Tig sat down across from them, "Hey girls. Think you can do me a favor tonight?"

The twins nodded with coy smiles on their faces. Tig had rode their ride several times and these girls loved it all, Tig chuckled, "I need you two to keep Hap busy tonight. Do you think you can do that?"

The twins both sighed, looks of ecstasy brewing on their faces, "It would be our pleasure Tig." Tig hopped up from the picnic table with a shit eating grin on his face, that two grand was as good as his.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla pulled her dark blue Shelby onto the Teller-Morrow lot, her hands shaking a little as she parked. She checked her makeup and hair one last time in the rearview mirror, maybe this is a mistake. She knew once you slept with a patch you belonged to him, even if it never happened again, unless he took another old lady. But after the few kisses she had shared with Happy she felt she had to try and find out where he was in all this. He seemed to be just as attracted to her as she was to him. She took a deep breath and got out of the car. She pulled her black off the shoulder dress down a little. She looked good in her dress, pin striped hose and black bitch heels that her mother bought her. She heard a wolf whistle and turned to see Quinn smiling at her, "Damn girl! One photo shoot and you become some hot ass bitch."

Kayla let him hug her and she laughed, "I've always been a hot ass bitch, where you been?"

Quinn smiled at her as he let her go, "Hap is gonna shit when he sees you."

Kayla put her hand on his cheek, "You sir are a sweet talker." The two friends laughed as they walked into the clubhouse.

Quinn walked her over to the bar and motioned for Half-Sack to get him a whiskey and Kayla a water. Tig came over grinning ear to ear at them, he hugged Kayla, "You look great doll."

Kayla smiled, "Why thank you." Her eyes scanned the room, when she found Happy her heart fell. He was sitting on one of the couches in the back corner; one of the twins had their tongue down his throat as the other knelt in front of him giving him a blow job.

Tig watched as Kayla's face fell, when his eyes followed her gaze, he felt like shit. He had no idea that she exactly had feelings for Happy, but it was written all over her face. He watched her as she put up the old walls, making her face blank. She looked back and saw his eyes on her and she smiled at Tig, "Well guys, I'm meeting friends for drinks tonight. I just wanted to stop in and make an appearance."

Tig stood up moving toward her, "Don't leave doll. Stay and hang with me and Quinn."

Kayla let a small angry chuckle out, "No it's fine. I got things to do tonight. Have some fun for myself for a change. You guys have fun tonight."

Tig grabbed her arm, "Listen, he's drunk he doesn't know you're here."

Kayla looked at Tig her hand going to his cheek, Tig could see how heartbroken she was and he wanted to rip out his own heart. Kayla gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, "If he gave a shit, it won't matter. Don't wait up."

As she turned to leave Tig saw Happy watch her leave. Happy pushed the twins off of him and moved over to the bar by Tig, "Where the hell is she going?"

Tig sighed punching Happy in the arm, hard, "She's going out. To have 'fun'."

Quinn stood up and glared at Happy, "You broke her fucking heart you cold hearted bastard. You really are a fucking prick sometimes. Ring NOW!"

Happy sighed as he watched Tig and Quinn head toward the ring, both men pissed as hell. Happy followed them out, he wasn't one to back down from a challenge, but maybe tonight he'd let Quinn hit him a few more times then he normally would've. He fucked up and he knew it.

**-Hard to Love-**

When Kayla got down the street from Teller-Morrow she took deep breaths, there was no way in hell she was going home. She had told Tig not to wait up. Whatever her dumbass mind thought was going on with her and Happy was just a fantasy of her making. She sighed pulling out her cell phone; well if that was the case she needed to find a life of her own in Charming.

She dialed Charlie's number; he picked up on the third ring, "Hello."

Kayla took a deep breath, "Well I thought I would take up on the offer for that drink if you want too."

Charlie chuckled, "Sounds wonderful, do you know the Velvet Rope in Lodi?"

Kayla smiled, "I do."

Charlie cleared his throat, "I'll meet you there in thirty minutes."

Kayla snapped her phone shut and stared out the windshield, there was no point in waiting around for a man that didn't want you when others did. She put the Shelby into drive and headed toward Lodi.

**Ok, a lot of this was fluffy, but I think it helps set the stage for their relationship. The photographer Charlie in my mind looks like Jason from General Hospital, Steve Burton, very good looking, the anti-Happy. Ok, do your thing! Thank you sooo much for your support of this one! Hugs, Kaye**


	5. Walk of Shame

Chapter 5….Walk of Shame

**This story has me obsessed; it is just flowing onto the screen in front of me! I hope I can keep this rhythm, the muses are screaming so here is the next update**** Enjoy the ride, Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla pulled into the drive of her duplex and sighed, she saw Tig and Happy's bikes sitting off to the side by the garage. She groaned, they probably brought the double mint twins back for a private party. She pulled her Shelby into the garage and glanced at the clock on her radio, five am. Where had the night gone? She had met Charlie for drinks at ten; they had sat and talked till the bar closed. It had been Charlie's idea for breakfast at the diner across from the bar. They had spent the next two hours talking before he walked her to her car and kissed her, promising that he would call her later that day to set up the next time they could go out.

Charlie was cute, nice, he had a steady job, but when he kissed her, she didn't feel the burning in her blood that Happy gave her. She opened the car door and took her shoes off, hoping to make a quiet entrance into the house. She creaked the door open to the kitchen and listened for any sign of life, when she was greeted with silence she let out a sigh of relief. She walked over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water, chugging half of it before she closed the door. When she turned she let out a high pitched squeal and jumped a foot in the air. There halfway lying across the high kitchen table was Tig, "Walk of shame, doll?"

Kayla sighed, her voice coming out in a hushed whisper, "Jesus Christ, Tig. You scared the shit out of me."

Tig sighed standing up, Kayla could tell he had gone into protective daddy mode on her. Tig hooked his thumbs into his jeans, "I've been trying to call you all night. Don't know how to pick up your phone?"

Kayla sighed, "I was with friends. I figured you and Hap had the double mint twins here, so why the fuck are you worrying about me?"

Tig crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowing, "Who were you with?"

Kayla threw her hands up in the air and walked pass him toward her room, but he grabbed her wrist, "I asked you who the fuck you were with!"

Kayla ripped her wrist from his hand, "Jesus, have you forgotten that I'll be twenty nine in two weeks? I don't need this protective daddy shit."

Tig closed the distance between them, putting his face right into hers, "Let me remind you that with your dad gone, I am the daddy here, I don't give a shit how old you get. John Teller was my friend and I plan on making sure your ass is safe until SOMEONE gets their head out of their ass and slaps a crow on your ass."

Kayla snorted, "Don't hold your breath on that one 'daddy'; I don't do tricks like the wonder twins."

Tig stepped back and stared at her, "You were with the photographer! SHIT Kayla, do you have any idea what could happen to that little douche?"

Kayla rolled her eyes, "We had drinks and talked. That was it! I'm not a whore Tig."

Tig followed her as she made her way into her room, "It doesn't matter if nothing happened. Happy is pushing up on you hard. He's gonna shit a fucking cement truck when he finds out that you were with blonde till five in the morning."

Kayla spun around, she was pissed, "So don't tell him. Happy Lowman has no interest in me and so you and mom can just knock it the fuck off. Now get out of my room! NOW!"

Kayla pushed Tig back into the hallway. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she slid down the now closed door. She hugged her knees, she hadn't done anything wrong, why the hell would Happy give a shit what she did. He made it very clear that he had other things on his mind. Kayla put her hand over her mouth as a sob ripped thru her throat.

Tig stood outside the door listening to her cry, this was all his fault. If he hadn't been so giddy over winning that fucking bet, her and Hap would've been wrapped up with each other at the clubhouse either sleeping or fucking. But no he had to fuck that up. He sighed running his hands thru his hair. He looked down the hall into the kitchen and saw Happy standing there.

Tig walked down the hallway, he stared at his friend, "How much of that did you hear?"

Happy had been awake, he had sat up on the couch watching the clock tick away the hours. With each passing minute he got more and more pissed. When he heard her car in the drive a sense of relief had flood him, at least the little bitch had come home. But when he heard her admit she had been with that mother fucking photographer, it had sent him over the edge. He wasn't sure if education was good enough for the little fucker, he might just need to die.

Happy crossed his arms over his chest, "I heard it all."

Tig slammed his fist into the table, "Hap, you can't go off half cocked here. She said nothing happened."

Happy just snickered, "No bitch comes home at five in the morning and NOTHING happened."

Happy turned and slammed the back door leaving Tig standing there with his mouth open. "FUCK!" Tig sat down and pulled out his phone. It rang and rang but finally Quinn answered.

Quinn had beaten the holy hell out of Happy and then gone to his dorm room to have a little phone sex with his rocking hot old lady. When his phone rang he was in the middle of one hell of a dream, his old lady and Megan Fox were fucking each other. He picked up his phone and screamed into it, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Tig sighed, "Brother we got big problems."

Quinn sighed sitting up on the edge of the bed, "What the hell did she do?"

Tig leaned back in his chair, "You know Hap followed me home, he wanted to wait for Kayla. Hoping he could make it up to her, while the little bitch didn't get home until a few minutes ago."

Quinn sighed, "Holy fuck! Did he hit her?"

Tig shook his head, "No, nothing like that. I thought Happy was asleep so I waited up for her. I confront her and found out she was with that douche bag photographer. Hap heard it all and just tore off out of here. He's probably coming your way to get Juice to pull up the guys intel. Head him off before he kills someone, please."

Quinn stood up pacing back and forth in his dorm, "Fucking hell Tig, I hope that two grand was worth it."

Tig sighed, "Not really."

Quinn hung up and pulled on a pair of jeans. By the time he stuck his head outside of his dorm, Happy was pounding on Juice's door.

Happy rode to the clubhouse like a bat out of hell. He had one goal in mind, getting Juice to give him that dickheads address. He pounded on Juice's door, "Hey retard, wake the fuck up. Need your help."

Happy heard a noise behind him and turned to see Quinn standing there pulling a tee shirt. "What the fuck are you doing there Hap? It's fucking six in the morning; the little retard is curled up with the twins. Why don't we go out and have a smoke and chill the fuck down."

Happy turned around and ran both of his hands over his head, he growled, knelt down, then stood up slamming his fist into the wall. The dry wall crumbling under the force. Quinn sighed, "OUTSIDE NOW!"

Happy fell in behind Quinn, his head was fucking spinning. Did she sleep with the little douche bag? Did he run his hands all over that prefect skin? He sat down with a thump on the picnic table. Quinn sat next to him and handed him a smoke. Happy took it and pulled out his own lighter. Once Quinn thought Happy had calmed down he chuckled, "Been where you are now before brother. When I fell in love with Karla, shit she gave me one hell of a time. She was still dancing then. Damn bitch. Kozic took me around to the studio she taught at a few times. I thought she was cute, but hell she was out of my league, she was a ballerina for Christ sakes. But one night Kozic at shot doing a protection run and Lorca sent me to get her to the hospital. I walked into the studio and found her dancing by herself in front of the mirrors; it was like nothing I had ever seen. From that day on I tried to deny my attraction to her, but that shit don't go away. I was doing good until the day I walked into Koz's kitchen and her date from the night before came stumbling into the kitchen. I about lost my shit. Koz had to hold me back from putting a bullet in the fuckers head, had the barrel of my gun in his mouth. The little shit pissed all over the floor. When he left, I stormed into Karla's room and locked the door."

Quinn threw his cigarette butt onto the ground and turned to Happy, "Now don't you fucking repeat a word of this shit."

Happy gestured to his bruised face and fat lip from the night before, "Brother I ain't saying shit, Christ knows you will fuck me up again."

Quinn nodded, "I waited on her bed listening to the shower run. I noticed a picture on her dresser of me, her, and Kozic that was taken at the clubhouse. I stared at that picture for the longest time. I never noticed but she was staring at me when they took it. She cared about me, but I pushed her away. I left, didn't have the nerve to talk to her that day. I showed back up at her studio a few days later and asked her to go for a ride, and we've been together ever since. I guess I'm trying to tell you that men like us, we need women like them. But she's not some croweater, you have to take your time and treat her right."

Happy huffed, standing up, he looked down at Quinn, "So what I'm supposed to act like a pussy, bring her fucking flowers. Cuz man I don't do that kind of shit. Don't take flowers to any woman but my ma."

Quinn laughed, standing up, "Hap, I can't tell you what to do, but if you want that girl then go get her. If you don't give a shit about her, but what she can do for you in bed, well then leave her the fuck alone. Now that's not a request, that's a fucking order. Kayla deserves better and frankly so do you. Now I'm going back to fucking bed, don't even think about leaving to go find that asshole or you and me will have one serious conversation."

Hap nodded, mumbling, "Ya I get it." Hap pulled another smoke from his pocket, he needed some sleep, he wasn't thinking clearly. He sighed throwing his cigarette down he headed toward his empty bed.

**-Hard to Love-**

By the time Kayla got to bed, it had been after six. Her alarm went off at nine and she fought the urge to toss the fucking thing across the room. She had to meet up with her mom and the rest of the old lady brigade. They were going to be looking thru the proofs from the photo shoots and picking the set up for their calendar. Kayla sighed as she sat up, she needed large amounts of coffee, and then she wasn't sure it would fucking help.

An hour later she was sitting at her mother's house yawning as the others went thru the photos. Luann let out a small squeal, "Oh my God look at this one of Kayla."

Kayla rolled her eyes and fought the need to vomit as one of her many photos circulated around the table. She was getting ready to gather them all up and throw them away when Jax, Clay, and Happy walked in. She swallowed hard staring down into her coffee cup.

Clay walked over and kissed his wife, "Hello ladies." Clay worked his way over and kissed the top of Kayla's head, "What are you girls doing today?"

Gemma held up a few of the pictures, "We're picking the photos for the calendar, look how great they all came out."

Jax moved over to the table and picked up a few of Tara, he smirked at his old lady handing his mom one of the pictures, "This one."

Gemma smiled, "Is that your personal opinion?"

Jax puffed up his chest, "It's my opinion as her old man. And I'd like all the other proofs to find their way back to my house, thank you ma." Jax never took his eyes off Tara as he leaned down and kissed his mother's cheek.

Gemma stared at Kayla, "Everyone else is done; now we just need Ms. Pissy Pants to pick one."

Before Kayla could answer, Happy walked over to the table and stared down at the photos. The room was dead silent as he grinned picking up one of Kayla lying back on the bike. He tapped it, "That one."

Gemma smirked evilly at her daughter, "Is that your personal opinion or your old man opinion?"

Happy didn't flinch, his eyes not leaving the photo, his finger ghosting over her image, "Does it matter?"

Gemma's grin widened, "No baby it doesn't. Thank you, ladies I think we can head off for lunch now that the hard part is over."

Kayla sat at the table dumbfounded, not sure what the fuck had just happened. Tara nudged her, "You coming?"

Kayla nodded, her eyes still on Happy who was leaning against the far wall staring into her soul. She swallowed hard as she made her way out of the dining room.

Happy took a deep breath and grabbed her wrist, "Going somewhere without saying goodbye girl?"

Kayla looked at him, what the hell was going on? She started to stumble over her words, "I…well…I guess…good bye…" Before she could form a complete sentence his lips gently brushed hers. Kayla could hear someone giggling behind her, probably Luann. When she pulled away, Happy just nodded to her and sat down at the table.

Gemma stared at her daughter for a few minutes, watching as Kayla tried to figure out what the hell was going on, Gemma had to bite the inside of her cheeks to keep from laughing, "Kayla? Earth to Kayla, let's go."

Kayla nodded her head and headed out the door behind the others. When they got into Gemma's Cadillac Tara looked at her, "What just happened between you and Happy?"

Before Kayla could answer her mother did, smirking at her from the rearview mirror, "That Tara was Happy pushing up on Kayla, HARD!"

Luann giggled in the front seat, "Shit I bet he was too."

**-Hard to Love-**

Sitting thru the old lady lunch had been a new kind of fresh hell. Kayla was grilled on all sides about Happy. She kept telling them she had no idea what was going on, but they were relentless. By the time they dropped off Tara and Luann, Kayla was glad for the quiet.

Gemma glanced at her daughter, "You alright baby girl?"

Kayla sighed, "I think so, I'm just so damn confused. He wants me, he doesn't want me. I just wish he'd make up my mind already."

Gemma laughed, "That's a man for you. Speaking of such I need to stop at the pharmacy and grab Clay's meds for his hands. Do you mind?"

Kayla shook her head, "No, I'm not doing much today."

While Gemma ran into the pharmacy, Kayla stood leaning against her car smoking. She had just thrown her cigarette to the ground when a man with a high buzz cut walked over to her, "Miss, I'm sorry to bother you, can you tell me where the high school is?"

Kayla looked up at his face and smiled, until she saw the Nazi tattoo on his neck. She took a deep breath, "Sure it's easy to get too. Just take a right on Sawyer and a left onto Meadowcreek. You can't miss it."

The man smiled at her, "Thank you so much, miss."

As Kayla watched the man walk away she felt a shiver crawl up her spine. She felt her mother standing next to her, "What the hell did he want?"

Kayla shrugged, "Directions to the high school. Who the hell is he? He doesn't look like Darby's usual group."

Gemma sighed, "Don't worry about it honey. Let me take you back to my place and we'll get you home. You look like shit."

Kayla smiled knocking into her mom, "Thanks, love you too."

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla made it home by two that afternoon. She drug herself into her room and flew onto the bed. Just a few minutes of her eyes shut, that's what she told herself. She stretched and closed her eyes. It felt like a few minutes before she felt Tig kicking her bed, "Hey sleeping beauty, you have a guest."

Kayla opened her eyes; the only light let in the room was the light coming from the hallway. She yawned, "Hey."

Tig smirked at her, "Hey yourself, have a good nap?"

Kayla nodded, rubbing her eyes, "What did you need?"

Tig laughed, "You got a visitor. I'd clean up before you come out, you look like shit."

Kayla was going to ask who it was but Tig flicked on her bedside light and closed her door. She sighed figuring it was her mother or Jax. She went into the bathroom and cleaned herself up. She hummed to herself as she pulled her hair up into a messy bun. When she walked into the kitchen she was shocked to see Happy standing there talking to Tig. When he saw her he straightened up, "Hey girl, thought maybe you'd take a ride with me."

Kayla smiled at him, "Sure. Let me grab a coat."

Happy nodded and watched as Kayla disappeared back down the hallway. Happy looked at Tig, "If she's not coming home I'll call."

Tig sat smirking as he toyed with his beer bottle, "You sure this is what you want killer?"

Happy just nodded, he wasn't having this conversation with Tig of all people. Kayla walked back into the kitchen; she walked over and kissed Tig on the cheek, "Behave tonight."

Tig laughed, "I promise. You kids be good, remember I'm too young to be a grandfather." Kayla rolled her eyes at him as Happy opened the door for her. Once Kayla had walked out the door he flipped the bird at Tig.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla loved to ride with Happy, she hugged herself up against his back, letting the smell of leather, cologne, and cigarettes fill her nose. The man was sex walking. Her hands found their way just inside his kutte feeling the lean muscles as he shifted the bike as they rode down the highway.

Happy knew he was grinning like an idiot as her hands nestled inside his kutte. Her soft ample breasts pushed into his back and her thighs cradling his. As he pulled the bike into the parking lot of the park over looking Lodi he felt her shift a little.

When the bike came to a stop he held his hand out for her helping her get off the back. Kayla took off his helmet and waited for him. "Why are we here?"

Happy took the helmet, "What you don't trust me girl?"

Kayla smiled, but the butterflies in her stomach were telling her different, she was scared as hell. Not that he would hurt her, but why he brought her there. He grabbed her hand and led her down a path that led to a clearing. Kayla watched as Happy sat down on the grass and patted the spot next to him. She sat down and waited for him to make the next move. It surprised her when he took two cigarettes from his pocket and lit them handing her one. She took it and took a long drag, "So, are we nature watching?"

Happy chuckled, "No just wait. Watch the sky."

Kayla crooked an eyebrow at him, but kept quiet just enjoying being so close to him. After a few minutes she saw it, fireworks lit up the sky. Kayla smiled; she turned and saw him watching her. Happy cleared his throat, his voice coming out more raspy than normal, "Your brother said you love fireworks. So when I heard the Lodi minor league baseball team was setting them off after the game I thought you'd like it."

Kayla nodded, fireworks made her think of her father, she glanced back at Happy, "I love it, thank you." Happy nodded, just loving the look on her face. Kayla leaned her head on his shoulder and they sat watching the colorful lights brighten up the dark sky. By the finale Kayla had her arm wrapped around his, Happy loved listening to her gasp when the sky lit up. Quinn had been right, guys like them needed girls like her.

When the fireworks stopped he stood up and helped her to her feet. She stumbled a little and he caught her, their faces were inches apart. Happy took a deep breath and closed the distance, his hand going to the back of her neck as his lips worked against hers. Kayla opened her mouth allowing his tongue to caress hers, she moaned as he deepened the kiss. Happy started walking her backward until her back hit a nearby tree. His hand moving to her hip to pull her flush against him. Happy pulled away, leaning his forehead to hers, "Shit La, you're fucking killing me here."

Kayla smiled, "Why do you call me La?"

Happy brought his eyes up so he was staring at her, "It's shorter than Kayla."

Kayla leaned in and kissed him, her arms going around his waist. She could feel his erection digging into her stomach. She felt a heat being to pool between her legs, she arched her back and bared her neck to him as he kissed a trail of kisses down, his tongue slipping between her breasts. Her hands gripped his head, as he worked his magic on her with his tongue. He chuckled as he returned to her mouth, when they parted they were both out of air. Happy took a second to try to pull himself together, "Let's get out of here."

Kayla let him grab her hand and lead her back to the bike. Before she could put the helmet back on he wrapped his arms around her waist, she turned looking over her shoulder at him. He brought his lips to hers again and this time the kiss was urgent, his erection digging into her backside. When they broke apart this time, Happy lowered his head to her shoulder and growled, "DAMN girl." Kayla laughed as she watched him adjust his erection before getting on the bike. Happy pointed at her, "Shut it. You try riding with this thing."

Kayla was still chuckling when she climbed onto the back of the bike. When she wrapped her arms around his waist she let her hands start to drift down toward his crotch. Happy grabbed her hands with his, turning his head he growled at her. She laughed, "Ok, I get it. Hands above the waist."

Happy shook his head, trying to drive back to Charming was going to take every ounce of control he had.

Kayla was surprised when he pulled into a small restaurant. He walked her to the door, "Thought you might be hungry." It was crazy sitting there talking to him, they eat and laughed. Happy told her about his mom and how her treatment was going. He even talked to her a little about riding Nomad.

After dinner Happy leaned against his bike watching Kayla take a long drag on her cigarette. He pulled her over to him, so she was standing in between his legs, his hand ghosting up to her left shoulder, "Tell me about the angel on your shoulder."

Kayla smiled weakly at him, "It's for Thomas. My dad use to tell me after Thomas died that he would always be right there on my shoulder. So when I went to college, I struggled at first. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, I went one night and got the tattoo. A few weeks later I was leaving class and my professor asked me if I could help with a production he was working on. Well I loved it, loved working behind the scenes. So I decided on teaching, that's how I got involved with the Drama program in Colorado."

Happy brushed his hand thru her hair, looking into her blue eyes he knew at that moment that no one alive would take this girl from him. Kayla leaned down and kissed him again, she was just starting to lean against him when his cell went off. Happy sighed, opening the phone, "What?"

He walked away leaving Kayla sitting on his bike waiting. When he walked back he looked pissed, "Got to get back. Have to handle some shit for Clay, won't take long. Do you think you might want to wait for me at the clubhouse? You could crash in my dorm."

Kayla cocked an eyebrow at him, her hand running up the front of his kutte, "You seem pretty confident that you were going to get lucky."

Happy smiled at her leaning down till their faces were only inches apart, his hand had silently crept up and he gripped the front of her jeans which were soaking wet, Kayla squealed and slapped at his hand, "HAPPY!"

Happy laughed, "I'm more than sure you thought you were getting some tonight."

He climbed on the bike still chuckling as she pouted. Happy turned and looked at her, "What're you pissed about? You damn well know how hard I am."

Kayla blushed, wrapping her arms around his waist as he kicked the bike to life. She let her hand travel down and she gave his cock a gentle squeeze. He looked back at her and growled again, giving her a quick kiss, "Knock that shit off or I'll fuck you here in the gravel." He felt her laugh against his back as he sped toward Charming.

**-Hard to Love-**

As they pulled into Teller-Morrow Kayla saw all the bikes were there. This must've been something big for Clay to call them all in. She walked inside and felt Happy's hand on your back. Tig smirked at the couple, "You kids having a fun night?"

Kayla smiled, "It was great."

Happy walked up behind her, "Wait in my room and I'll take you home after I'm done."

Kayla nodded and walked back to his room. When she opened the door she stared at the neatness. She chuckled of course on top of everything else, Happy was a freaking neat freak. She chuckled as she kicked off her shoes. She stood looking at herself in the mirror above his dresser, as she let her hair down; she noticed a picture lying underneath some change. She picked it up and stared at it, it was one of the pictures from the calendar photo shoot. Kayla felt a few tears building up in her eyes; he had taken it from her mother's house.

Kayla put the picture down and went to the bathroom. When she came out Happy was sitting on the bed waiting for her. He frowned at her, "I have to take you home. This shit is going to take awhile tonight."

Kayla went over and stood in between his legs again, her hand running over his shaved head, "I understand."

Happy looked up at her, "You don't want to know what's going on?"

Kayla shook her head, "You'll tell me if I need to know. I understand."

Happy just looked at her as he stood up, she was fucking prefect, she didn't ask questions, she just understood. He leaned down and kissed her again. This time slow, enjoy the feel of her mouth on his. He sighed as he pulled away, "Come on Chibs and Tig are going to follow us."

When she got off his bike at her house, she turned and waved to all of them, "You guys be careful."

They nodded and started to pull away. Happy stared at her for a few minutes and then nodded. She stood hugging herself as they rode out of sight. When she flicked on the light to the kitchen she wasn't sure what was wrong, but something felt out of place in the house. Instead of going the rest of the way inside she went to her Camry and headed to her mother's house. Something was wrong; she needed to get as far away from that house as she could.

**-Hard to Love-**

AJ Weston stood watching her from her own bedroom window as she pulled out into the night. He smiled to himself; he and Miss Kayla Teller were going to get to know each other one way or another. He smiled as he tore apart her bedroom, trashing everything he could. When he left out of the house he stopped and stared at the pretty little Ford Shelby sitting in the garage. He went back inside the house and when he came back out he began to whistle as he filled her gas tank with sugar. Yes Miss Teller was going to get to know him well.

**Alright, hope that's good enough! Got to love AJ Weston**** I hope you aren't disappointed that she didn't sleep with Charlie. Don't worry he will pop back up. This is Happy we are dealing with and he doesn't always do the smartest thing. Ok, do your thing! Read, enjoy, review! Big thanks to Simone Santos! If you haven't read her stuff, DO IT! Have a great week! Hugs, Kaye!**


	6. Birthday Chaos

Chapter 6….Birthday Chaos

**I am so blown away by the follows you all! Thank you thank you! The reviews have been great! I'm glad everyone is enjoying my little story. Well since its going soooo well, here's the next installment in the Happy/Kayla budding romance! **

**I have a very different music taste, I kind of listen to everything! The song I used to inspire this installment is 'Beautiful Disaster' by Kelly Clarkson. I know again not a very SOA song, but I like to think it's from Kayla's point of view. Some of you might've noticed I wrote myself as Quinn's wife…teehee….couldn't help myself. Though I only wish I was a dancer, and something I noticed I left out about Karla is she's Kozic's sister. Ok, enough with the author notes, on with the story**** Enjoy the ride, Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

Tig was the first one to make it the house the following morning. As he stared at the small duplex that he and Kayla shared he smirked to himself. He was sure the girl just got spooked; as he walked in the front door with his gun raised everything looked fine. He heard the others pulling up and he continued thru the house. After clearing the living room and his room, he moved toward the kitchen. Happy and Juice were already moving down the hallway to Kayla's room. Tig opened the back door that led to the garage, what he saw made him sick to his stomach.

Kayla's Ford Shelby was a mess, all four tires were flat. Tig's eyes scanned to the sugar bag lying on the ground next to the open gas tank, he knelt down and picked up the empty bag. "FUCK!" He threw the bag across the garage. He walked to the front of the car just as Happy appeared at the door. Tig let his eyes run up and down the hood. Scraped across the hood were the words, 'wetback lover'. Tig looked at Happy who had come to stand next to him.

Happy felt sick when he and Juice entered her room. Someone had trashed the room; her clothes were lying on the bed in shreds. Happy looked up at Juice, the intelligence officer looked as sick as Happy felt. Happy walked down the hallway to check on Tig. When he entered the garage he knew the car was nothing more than a paper weight. When he stood in front of the car he had the urge to beat something.

Tig sighed, "I don't know how I'm going to tell her about this. She saved for six years for this fucking car. I went to Colorado to help her pick it out."

Happy couldn't take his eyes off the hood, "They tore up her room. If she won't have left…." His voice trailing off as his throat got tight.

Tig looked at the usually stoic killer and just shook his head. Kayla had been smart, if she would've went into the house, they would've found her body trashed and bloody, versus her things. Tig heard the garage door start up, when he and Happy turned around they saw Kayla standing there with Gemma.

As soon as Juice had called and said someone had trashed the place, but they were long gone, Kayla had made Gemma take her to the house. She just wanted to get the Shelby and drive it to Teller-Morrow for safe keeping. Jax was standing outside when they got there. He had been inside the house but had no clue that the car was trashed, so when Kayla and Gemma pulled up and asked him if she could just take the Shelby, he had agreed.

Kayla glanced at Happy and Tig's face; she saw a mixture of anger and sadness. She gave them a soft smile, "Just here to get the car. I promise I won't go in the house…." As her eyes drifted to the hood she froze.

Tig took a step toward her, "Go home doll. You don't need to see this mess."

Kayla choked back a sob, "My car too? Jesus, Tig. Just let me drive it back to Teller Morrow."

Tig put one of his hands on his hip and the other on her shoulder, "Sweetie, it's not going to drive. We'll have the prospect tow it."

Kayla's chin started to quiver, "It just needs tires right?"

Happy sighed, "They put sugar in the gas tank."

Kayla turned from the garage; she knelt down a second trying to get her emotions under control. Jax walked up and looked into the garage, "Ahh, shit. I'm so sorry Kayla."

Kayla stood up and glared at her brother, "You're sorry! Not half as sorry as I am. I have nothing! I'm going inside to get some clothes. This fucking sucks."

As she moved toward the back door, Happy blocked the door, his black eyes boring into her, "Go home with your mom, La."

She stared at Happy, her blue eyes red with tears, her voice was weak and defeated, "All my stuff is gone isn't it."

Happy didn't know what to say. He just stared at her, Tig stepped up putting a hand on her back, "It's just stuff Kayla, your whole and that's the important thing."

Kayla let Tig pull her into his side, his arm wrapped around her as he walked her out to her mom's SUV. Happy followed them, he was at a loss. This girl had moved home for the good of the club and it had cost her almost everything. Tig opened the door and helped Kayla into the SUV, "No go home peanut, me and Hap will gather up some things for you. I'll have the prospect clean up this mess and we'll have you home in a few days."

Kayla kept her eyes focused on her hands, "I should never have come back here. They would've killed me if I went in there last night, right?"

Tig sighed putting a kiss on the top of her head, "We don't know that Kayla, they were probably just sending a message. Just go home and be with Gemma, we'll be there soon.

Happy watched as the SUV disappeared the two prospects following close behind. He turned and went back into the house. Jax and Clay were standing in Kayla's room, Clay nodded to Tig and Happy as they walked in, "Had to be Alaverez, he must have told them Kayla was the reason the Mayans dropped their protection."

Jax sighed, "I don't think Darby would go after Kayla. His kids went to school with us; he usually doesn't go after families."

Tig nodded, "Yeah this has Aryan Nation all over it."

Clay started walking out of the room, "Get Alaverez on the phone, we need to have a chat."

**-Hard to Love-**

An hour later Kayla was cried out. She had gone back to her mother's house and jumped in the shower, letting the hot water wash over her body as the sobs wrecked thru her. Now she was sitting at the dining room table, her knees drawn up to her chest. A cup of tea in front of her and a cigarette in her hand. She stared down at the table trying to pull herself together.

Gemma sat watching her daughter, Kayla had always been head strong, but something about the way she was moping had Gemma on edge. She stepped into her bedroom and called Tig. "What?"

Gemma sighed, "Tiggie, our girl isn't doing so hot. Do you think Kozic would come down?"

Tig sighed, "Shit Gem is she that bad?"

Gemma sat down on the edge of her bed, "I just want her to have someone to talk to, just in case. We both know ex-addicts do stupid things when their under stress."

Tig huffed into the phone, "Fine, I'll call him. But she's tougher than that Gem."

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla had walked thru the rest of the day like a zombie. By the time dinner rolled around the house was full of old ladies making food for everyone. Kayla sat outside on a lounge chair sipping water. She heard the sliding door open, when she turned around she saw Herman Kozic smirking at her.

Kayla sighed looking down at the water bottle in her hand, "So they thought I'd use?"

Kozic walked over and sat in front of her on the end of the lounge chair, "Nah, they just wanted to make sure you had someone to talk to. Your mom and Tig said you've gotten real quiet and that freaks them out."

Kayla looked up at Kozic, her eyes were shining, "I'm NOT going to use."

Kozic sighed taking her hand, "But you've thought about it."

Kayla yanked her hand out of his and sat back in the chair, stuffing her hands into the pocket of her hoodie, "Yes, fine, I've thought about it. A lot, but I'm not going to use."

Kozic stood up and held his hand out, "Come on."

Kayla stared at his hand, "Where?"

Kozic smiled at her, "Gonna take you somewhere with awful coffee."

Kayla sighed giving him her hand, "I'll go, but I'm not fucking sharing."

Kozic chuckled, "I won't dream of it."

As they walked thru the house Kayla saw Happy sitting the living room. His head snapped up as she walked toward the kitchen. Kozic stopped to talk to Tig, "We're hitting a meeting, I'll keep her safe."

Tig nodded and watched as they left. He didn't have to turn around to know Happy was standing behind him, "He's taking her to a meeting. She'll be fine, just needs to clear her head. She's tough."

Happy grunted, "I don't like them going alone."

Tig nodded, "Maybe we can just follow them. Sit outside; I'm sure he's taking her to the Methodist Church."

An hour later Tig and Happy sat on their bikes watching people come and go from the small church. They were across the street smoking, neither of them said much as they waited for Kozic and Kayla. Tig sighed, "This shit with her, I can't let something happen to her again." He glanced over at Happy eyeing him hard.

Happy exhaled smoke, "Nothing gonna happen to her."

Tig nodded curtly, they both straighten up as Kozic and Kayla came walking out of the church. Koz had an arm wrapped around her shoulders; both men could tell she was upset. Kozic left her standing by his bike and he made his way across the street to Tig and Happy. Koz looked pissed, "What the hell are you guys doing here?"

Tig narrowed his eyes, "Hold your shit Blondie, we were just worried. Didn't want you coming outside without backup. How's the peanut?"

Kozic looked across the street at Kayla who was now smoking like a chimney, "She's gonna be fine. She got up and shared, it's always hard to do. She needed the meeting. Make sure she does at least one a week; it will help till this shit settles down. Just don't ask her about it." His last statement, he stared at Happy who just nodded.

Kozic headed back to Kayla. Once he fired up his bike Happy and Tig fell in behind them. He watched as Kayla held onto Kozic, the sight of her on someone else's bike pissed him off. But he knew she needed Kozic right now, Kozic was the one that could help her silence the shit going on in her head, and for that he was grateful.

**-Hard to Love-**

After getting back to the house, Kayla had swallowed down some dinner and gone to bed. She just didn't want to be around anyone. She knew that all the things that had been destroyed could be replaced. She just needed some time to process what had happened. She rolled over and looked at the clock, it was two thirty in the morning and she was wide awake. She sighed pulling herself from the bed. She made her way downstairs and walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. She noticed the television on in the living room, so she went to the doorway and a small smile spread on her face.

Sitting with his head thrown back on the recliner was Tig, his mouth wide open, and snoring like a chainsaw. She covered her mouth to hide the laugh. She looked over at the couch, Happy was lying across the couch; one of his hands was laying across his chest, while the other was above his head, near his gun on the end table. Kayla sighed; they were worried so they had crashed there. She suddenly felt stupid for losing her cool; these men would move heaven and Earth to keep her safe. She grabbed a blanket and covered up Tig; he shifted a little, but didn't wake up.

She walked over to the couch with another blanket, she stared down at Happy's face, he looked so peaceful. At least in his sleep, he seemed to let his walls down. As she started to cover him up, he jumped, his hand going to his gun, his voice was raspy and thick with sleep, "Girl, what the hell are you doing?"

She smiled at him, "Got up to get a drink, I thought you two looked cold."

Happy sighed sitting up on the couch rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Tig snorted in his sleep. Kayla giggled, when she looked back at Happy he gave her a half smile, "I hate trying to sleep in the same room with that asshole."

Kayla looked back at Tig and giggled again, "Sorry I woke you."

Happy nodded, "It's alright. You ok, La?"

Kayla smiled at him, "Yeah, I'm good. Listen, if you promise to be a gentleman you can crash in my room."

Happy cocked an eyebrow at her, "A gentleman?"

Kayla blushed, "My parents are asleep in the next room."

Happy looked over at Tig and then back at Kayla, he stood up with a smug smile on his face, "Lead the way."

Happy followed her upstairs to her room, he looked at the twin bed and then back to her, "You could sleep on top of me." His grin spreading across his face.

Kayla laughed, "Come on killer, a girl needs her beauty rest."

She laid down on her side and raised an eyebrow at him when he stood staring at her. Happy had NEVER slept in the same bed with a woman who he didn't fuck. He took a deep breath and slid in next to her. Kayla felt his arm wrap around her waist and she smiled. "Why you so far away, La?"

Kayla turned over letting him pull her into his chest, "That better?"

Happy grunted, "Much."

Kayla wrapped her arm around him, her hand snaking up his tee shirt. She slowly ran her hand up and down his muscular back. She heard him groan; he tilted her chin up and kissed her, his tongue dipping into her mouth, tasting every inch of her. When he pulled away he kissed the top of her head, "Keep touching my back and I won't care who the fuck is in the next room."

Kayla giggled, burying her head into his chest, "No touching I got it."

They lay next to each other, Happy's hand running thru her hair; they both fell asleep snuggled together.

Clay stood in her doorway amazed, when Tig had told him to check Kayla's room for Happy he had no idea he would find them both fully clothed. Happy had Kayla buried into his chest, both of his arms wrapped around her like he was afraid someone would snatch her from him. Clay walked over to the bed and kicked at Happy's foot.

Happy's eyes snapped open and he stared at his president. Clay walked to the door and pointed downstairs. Happy nodded to him and watched as Clay disappeared out the door. Happy hated to leave the bed; he couldn't remember the last time he slept so sound. He slowly entangled himself from Kayla and sat up on the edge of the bed. He heard her groan, her arms slipping around his waist, "Ten more minutes."

He chuckled, patting her hands, "I got to go, La."

He stood up and stared at her laying in the bed, her hair a mess and her face still flush with sleep, he growled as he leaned down to kiss her, "Damn girl." She smirked at him as he walked out the door. By the time he made it downstairs Gemma was standing at the bottom stair holding a coffee cup in her hand smirking at him.

Gemma handed him the cup, "Sleep well?" Her voice layered with innuendo.

Happy just took a sip of his coffee and headed toward the dining room table. Clay and Tig were already sitting there with Jax. Jax smirked at him, "Glad you could join us."

Tig and Clay snickered as Happy sat down. Clay straightened up and glanced at Gemma, "Gemma why don't you go check on Kayla." Gemma took the hint and headed upstairs. Clay looked around the table, "Alaverez called this morning. He agreed to meet at that little joint in Stockdon. I want you all with me."

The men sitting around the table nodded. They knew they had to get a handle on things and Alaverez was the first step to making this right.

**-Hard to Love-**

The next two weeks went fast; Kayla was finally allowed to go home. It broke her heart that most of her things had to be replaced, but at least she was living on her own and not at her mother's. But she was not alone. When Tig and Happy were gone, there was always someone with her. A few times Clay himself had slept on the couch with Gemma sleeping with Kayla.

Happy had been really busy and Kayla just tried to give him his space. She knew the kind of work he did for the club and she knew that sometimes he just needed to do his own thing. The morning of her twenty ninth birthday she was awoken to a knock at her bedroom door. Tig stepped in holding a hot cup of tea and a plate of French toast. Kayla sat up and smiled, "Breakfast for me?"

Tig grinned, "Happy birthday peanut."

He sat on the bed next to her and watched as she took a bite of his French toast, "Mmmmm, God Tig you can cook."

He chuckled, "Shit! I almost forgot your present." Kayla watched him tear out of the room, when he came back he had a box in his hands. He handed it to her looking more like a teenage boy getting his first Hustler.

Kayla unwrapped the box and looked at her gift, it was a vintage jewelry box, she looked up at Tig, "I love it!"

She threw her arms around his neck hugging him. Tig squeezed her hard, "I know yours were busted, so I wanted to get you something nice. Open it up."

She opened the jewelry box and gasped, sitting in one of the little drawers was a pair of gold hoop earrings. "Oh Tig, they're beautiful."

Tig smiled, "I know you like simple, so I hope they're alright. I had Reggie go with me to pick them out."

Kayla nodded, "They're prefect."

Tig nodded standing up, "Ok, get dressed your mother is coming. Something about taking you shopping."

The day flew by, her mother drug her thru every store in Lodi. When they finally reached Charming they stopped off at the bakery to grab her cake for the party later. As they were going in, they saw SAMCRO sitting across the street from the newly opened cigar shop. Kayla saw Happy sitting on his bike, his face was stone hard, she could tell he was pissed.

Kayla looked at her mother, "What's going on?"

Gemma sighed, "The cigar shop is owned by Ethan Zobelle, one of the heads of the League of Aryan Nationalist. He's probably the one behind all the shit that has been going down lately."

Kayla shook her head, "Shit. Should I be worried?"

Gemma sighed, guiding her daughter into the bakery, "No baby, let's get your cake."

Happy watched Gemma and Kayla go into the bakery and he was instantly pissed. Gemma knew what had been going on with Zobelle but she brought Kayla right into the lion's den. His eyes narrowed as he watched a few of Zobelle's lackeys stare at Kayla and Gemma. He watched AJ Weston disappear back into the shop, when he returned; Happy could see he had one of the calendars in his hand. Happy stood up. Clay had been watching everything, he walked over to Hap and put his hand on his shoulder, "Wait brother, don't want the ladies to see us lose our shit." Happy nodded, his eyes not leaving the group of white bastards that he knew were now staring at his girl's picture.

When Gemma and Kayla came out of the bakery, they were laughing and talking about the party that night. Kayla was getting ready to get in the car when she heard a voice calling to her, after that everything happened fast.

Happy watched as AJ Weston smirked toward SAMCRO. Weston started walking toward Gemma and Kayla, the rest of SAMCRO slowly walking in that direction. Weston held up the calendar, "Hey, Miss Teller, can I get an autograph?"

Happy snapped. He ran full force into Weston knocking him to the ground. His fists connecting as he began beating the man. He heard sirens and he heard Kayla begging him to stop, but it was too late. That prick made the mistake of talking to his girl.

The next thing Happy knew he was being pulled off Weston, by Tig and Jax. Happy looked at Kayla who was being held back by Gemma. Tig growled into his ear, "Calm the fuck down, Hale is here."

Hale walked in between the two groups, "What the hell is going on here? This is the center of the fucking town. Clay get your guys back over to their bikes. Weston, you take your sorry ass into the cigar shop. Jesus Christ people."

Happy went over and sat on his bike. He watched Tig go over to talk to Gemma and Kayla. He sighed pulling a smoke out and lighting it. Happy was just finishing his smoke, Hale walked over, "I have to take you in Lowman."

Clay roared, "What are the charges Deputy Chief?"

Hale snorted, "Assault. You can pick him up later."

Happy stood up staring coldly at Hale as he slapped the cuffs on him. Happy watched as Kayla ran toward the cop car, "David! You can't, they provoked him!"

Tig glared at Kayla, "Go home! You're not helping, Kayla."

Happy watched her as she stared at him, as Hale put him in the back of the cop car. He fucking hated that she was watching this, why the hell didn't Gemma duct tape her ass into the car and get her the hell out of there.

Clay saw how upset Kayla was and went over to her and Gemma, he put his hands on her shoulders making the woman look at him, "Go home Kayla, I'll bail him out in awhile. Don't worry he won't miss your party. Gemma, take her ass home, NOW!"

**-Hard to Love-**

After the chaos of the morning, Kayla felt drained. Gemma had picked her up and taken her to Teller-Morrow for her birthday party, her mother reassuring her that Clay had in fact picked up Happy earlier that afternoon. When she got out of the car at Teller-Morrow everyone was standing in the middle of the lot. She smiled at her family.

Clay was the first to walk up to her, "Happy Birthday, little girl. The club got you a group gift this year. But you have to promise to close your eyes."

Kayla smiled as she covered her eyes and let her mother lead her. She felt Tig at her side, she finally heard Jax, "Open them!"

When she opened her eyes sitting in front of her was a new Ford Shelby. She squealed, "OH MY GOD! You guys!" She looked around at all the smiling faces; she couldn't believe they had done this for her. "I can't take this! I know how much it cost!"

Clay chuckled dragging her into a hug; he kissed the top of her head, "Don't worry Alaverez kicked in some toward it too. You have to take it; I hear its bad manners to return a gift to an MC President."

Kayla smiled up at her step-father, giving him a hug, "Thank you Clay."

Tig went over and opened the door for her, he was grinning like an idiot, "Come on, let's test drive this bitch!"

Juice came running up behind her, "Me too, I want to show you the sound system I installed."

After the car was filled up she took her new baby out on the road, for a spun. When they got back the first person to reach her was her best friend Reggie. Reggie threw her arms around her neck, "Were you surprised?"

Kayla laughed, "Just a little!"

The next half hour she wandered around hugging and thanking everyone. She was surprised that Kozic, Quinn, and Karla had made the trip down. As everyone started to settle in and have some food she found herself scanning the room for Happy. She heard a chuckle behind her and turned to see Quinn standing there, "He's in his room. Been moping since Clay dropped him off. Think he's pissed at himself that he snapped like that."

Kayla sighed, "Was it my fault?"

Quinn was going to answer, but his old lady Karla cut him off, "No, you can't be blamed for existing. Men like Quinn and Hap can handle anything, but if you touch their women or show disrespect to them, well shit gets real, real fast. Go get him girl and don't take no for an answer."

Kayla smiled giving Karla a hug, "Thanks Karla."

Karla chuckled, "No problem, us ladies have to stick together."

Kayla knocked on Happy's door, she listened but when she heard nothing she slowly opened the door. Happy was sitting on his bed. When Clay had brought him back to the clubhouse he made sure to chew Happy a new asshole. It had been stupid snapping like that and attacking Weston. When he got to his room he downed half a bottle of whiskey and took a shower. He was just sitting there on his bed trying to figure out if he should even bother going out to her party. He figured she was pissed at him too.

When he heard the knock on the door, he didn't say anything. He hoped whoever it was would just go away. But when she opened the door, he felt a peace come over him. She was wearing a midnight blue dress that made her eyes look more blue. She smiled at him as she slipped in the door and shut it behind her. Happy could tell she was nervous, but he didn't say anything.

Kayla stared at him, he looked tired, he was sitting there in his jeans, bare chested. His fists were balled up sitting on his knees. "Hey."

Happy looked up at her, "Hey."

Kayla took that as a good start, she took a few steps forward, "If you didn't know there's a party going on, want to come be my date?"

Happy sighed, "La, I don't think I'm in the mood tonight."

Kayla nodded taking the last few steps toward him, standing almost in-between his legs, "I know, is there something I can do for you? Do you want something to eat?"

When she started to turn toward the door he grabbed her pulling her so that his head was buried up against the soft silk of her dress, his hands gently rubbing up and down the back of her legs, "Stay."

Kayla nodded, running her hand across the back of his head, trying to massage the tension from his body. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Having her so close seemed to settle his mind.

Their moment was cut short when Gemma knocked on the door, slowly opening it, "Knock, knock, hey you two, time for cake. Kayla come on."

Kayla gave her mom a quick smile, "I'll be right there."

Kayla watched as her mother quietly shut the door. She turned around and Happy flopped back on the bed his heads covering his face, "Fuck, your birthday."

Kayla laughed, she pulled up her dress a little and moved on top of him, smirking at him as she straddled him, "It's fine. You've had a busy day."

Happy stared up at her, his hand going to her cheek, "What are you doing up there?"

Kayla wiggled her eyebrows at him, "Trying to cheer you the fuck up! Now come on and come have cake with me, you know you can't say no to the birthday girl."

Happy flipped her over, running his hand down to her thigh, "I would rather eat something else." His lips crushing against hers, she moaned as he pulled away and stood up, "Come on, let's go."

Kayla stood by the door while Happy pulled on a shirt and his kutte. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a small box from his drawer, he looked at it for a minute. He turned to her and handed it to her, "It's not much, but Happy Birthday."

Kayla smiled taking the small box, when she opened it she felt tears filling her eyes. Staring back at her was a beautiful purple cameo, she looked up at Happy, "How did you know?"

Happy smirked, "You said your grandmother had them. I just took a guess. Is it alright?"

Kayla stepped closer to him, her hand going to his chest, "I love it." She raised herself up on her tiptoes and kissed him. He slowly pushed her up against the door, taking over the kiss. When they finally pulled apart they were both out of breath.

They finally made it to the party; the croweaters were showing up for the after party. Happy and Kayla were standing outside watching Juice and one of the Nomads go toe to toe in the ring. Gemma walked over, "Hey birthday girl, I'm heading home."

Kayla smiled at her mother hugging her, "Thank you for everything! Let me walk you out mom."

Happy followed behind them, just as they reached the edge of the lot, a car pulled in. Happy stepped in front of them as Ethan Zobelle, AJ Weston, and several lackeys got out. Kayla felt her mother grip her arm. Happy walked to stand behind Clay and the rest of the SAMCRO.

Ethan Zobelle smiled at Clay, "I come bearing a peace offering. I hear you are a cigar fan. I brought you the best from my shop."

Clay snorted, "You think a little box of cigars is going to fix things? I think you and the boys need to pile back into your German clown car and get the hell out of here."

Tig clicked his gun; Zobelle chuckled, "You going to shot me here in front of all these people Mr. Trager?"

Clay waved Tig down and stepped toward Zobelle, "Get your Nazi loving ass out of here."

Zobelle smiled setting the box of cigars down. The men started walking back toward the car. Before Weston got in the car he nodded at Kayla and winked. Gemma pulled her behind her, Happy and Tig walked in front of the car as it pulled out.

Clay scanned the guys, "CHURCH NOW!"

Happy stopped at Kayla and Gemma, "Gemma will you take Kayla with you."

Gemma nodded, Kayla hugged him quick, he kissed her head and walked into the clubhouse. Gemma sighed wrapping an arm around her daughter, "Let's go home."

**Ok, that's where I'm leaving you! I'm sure you're wondering if I'm going to do it! If I'm going to send Gemma into the hands of Zobelle and his men. Well I'm not telling! That's the great thing about doing this in AU…LOL….Thank you for all the wonderful support! Enjoy the new episode tonight! Hugs, Kaye**


	7. Beautiful With You

Chapter 7….Beautiful With You

**You guys are stinking wonderful. Well this one took me a little longer, just because I was having a struggle with which way to go. Teehee…I think I found a good mix. Remember this is A/U, I like to say that so you all bare with me when I go off the beaten path.**

**I'm so glad you all are liking this one! Over sixty follows, thank you soooo much! Ok, I don't own anything but Kayla and a love of the show. Here's the next chapter, enjoy the ride. **** Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

I stare at the girl in the mirror, Tee shirt, Torn up jeans, No beauty Queen,

But the way that you see me, You get underneath me,

And all my defenses just fall away, fall away,

I am beautiful with you, Even in the darkest part of me,

I am beautiful with you, You make me feel the way it's supposed to be

Beautiful With You - Halestorm

Gemma had told her daughter to keep the Ford Shelby right behind her on the way home, but Kayla couldn't resist and before they even got a block away from Teller-Morrow, the dark green Ford sped past her. Gemma shook her head and lit a cigarette; her youngest child was going to put her in an early grave. Gemma pulled up to the stop light and fumbled with the radio. She noticed headlights come up fast behind her; she instinctively went for her gun. She turned to the window to see a pretty little blond girl crying, "My baby, please help me! She's choking. Oh God help me."

Gemma set the gun down, she opened the door, "Ok, what is she choking on?"

The girl put her hands on her head, "I think a button."

Gemma nodded opening the door of the minivan. She looked into the baby seat and saw a plastic doll, what the fuck? She thought to herself, she turned just as the world went black.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla was riding high as she flew thru the streets of Charming. She knew there would be hell to pay, but she was having a ball. She spotted her mother's car just before she turned the corner. She saw a blond woman get out of her car and run to her mother's car. Kayla always trusted her gut; she cut her lights and slowly pulled up behind the minivan. She gripped the gun that Tig had given her as she got out of the car. As she slowly moved toward the blond, she saw the woman raise her arm smacking her mother in the head with a billy club.

Kayla charged her, knocking the blond down, the gun went flying. They wrestled back and forth until Kayla was able to punch the woman. Kayla scrambled off her and grabbed the gun, "Get on your fucking knees!"

The little blond held up her hands, getting to her knees. The girl's voice shook when she spoke, "Are you going to kill me?"

Kayla moved behind her, never lowering the gun, she didn't want the girl to see how much she was shaking. The girl started to cry, "Please don't kill me."

Kayla felt an anger she hadn't in her life; she raised the gun bringing the butt down on the top of the girls head. Kayla gave her one hard kick to the ribs, "Bitch."

Kayla moved toward her mother's lifeless body, "Mom, mom, please wake up."

Gemma moaned, "What happened?"

Kayla kissed her mother's cheek, "Thank god, come on you need to help me get you to my car. We have to get the fuck out of here."

Gemma leaned on Kayla who led them both to the car. Once she had her mother in the car she headed to breaking every speed limit. She kept shaking her mother who kept trying to go to sleep, Kayla shook her, "MOM, MOM, I need you to stay awake. Please!"

Gemma groaned, "Don't be so loud, my head hurts."

Kayla grabbed her mother's hand, "I know it does, just hold on. We're almost to the hospital."

**-Hard to Love-**

As soon as the doctor's took her mother, Kayla pulled out her cell, her hands shaking. She dialed Happy's number, she wasn't sure why she didn't call Tig or Jax, but she needed him. After two rings he answered, "What?"

Kayla sat down her knees feeling weak, "Happy, please come to St. Thomas, someone tried to take my mom."

Happy was silent for a minute, "We'll be right there."

Happy slammed his phone looking up at Tig, "That was Kayla, her and Gemma are at St. Thomas. Let's roll."

Jax followed them out, "Are they hurt?"

Happy got on his bike, "She just said someone tried to take Gemma."

Jax turned and yelled at Juice, "Get Clay, have everyone meet us at the hospital."

Happy didn't give a shit who was following him; he had to get to her. He opened up the throttle on his bike and high tailed it to St. Thomas.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla sat shaking as the guys came charging into the emergency room of St. Thomas. She stood up as they walked toward her, Jax leading them, "What the fuck happened?"

Kayla took a deep breath, "I took the Shelby out to road test it, I caught up with mom and there was this blond woman, younger than me, she had mom out of the car. I turned off my lights and pulled up behind them. I saw the girl hit mom on the head. I got my gun and got out of the car. We fought, me and the girl, but I got the drop on her. I tried to shoot her, but I just couldn't do it. I hit her over the head and got mom the hell out of there." Kayla melted into her brother's arms crying. Jax held her stroking her hair.

Jax looked over at Happy and Tig, both men had their jaws set hard. Jax pulled away from Kayla, "Darlin' tell me where this happened."

Kayla nodded, "On the corner of White and Briar, at the stop light. I left mom's car. I'm sorry. I probably screwed everything up."

Jax pulled her back into his arms, "It's fine. You did good; you and mom are in one piece. That's what matters." He felt Kayla nod against his chest. "Tig will you please sit with her."

Tig nodded, stepping up he took Kayla and steered her toward the waiting room chairs. Jax motioned for Happy, "Take Quinn and a few prospects, go see what's at the scene. Hide the car; I'll feed Kayla a story to tell the cops."

Happy nodded, "You got it brother." He glanced one last time at Kayla as he headed out; he had a job to do, to protect the club, to protect her.

Jax waited with Kayla as the others started to filter in. When the doctor came out and told them that Gemma was going to fine, just a concussion, they all let out a collective breath. Jax turned to Tig, "Take my sister back to my mom's, I'll stay here."

Kayla stood up getting in-between the two men, "I want to see mom and then I'll go, but you can't not let me see her!" Jax stared at his sister's face; he knew there was no way in hell he could get her to leave until she saw their mother.

Jax nodded, "Fine, but then straight to mom's, no arguments. You are on lockdown till further notice."

Kayla nodded, when she turned around Clay pulled her into a big hug, he whispered into her ear, "I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't been there. I owe you everything little girl. You did real good."

After waiting another hour the doctor let Clay, Kayla, and Jax back to see Gemma. Gemma reached for Kayla as soon as she walked into the room. Kayla went to her mother burying her head into her mother's chest, "God mom, I'm so glad you're alright."

Gemma wiped a few tears from her eyes, "I won't be here if you won't have been there. I love you baby girl."

Over the next hour, the four of them discussed what happened. Gemma, Clay, and Jax made sure to tell Kayla that she did everything she could to keep her mother safe. By the time Jax walked Kayla out, they had their story that they needed to feed to the cop the next day. Most of the plan had been Kayla's and even Clay had to agree it was vicious. Tig followed her back to Gemma's and Phil brought her a bag of things he thought she might need. The only thing Kayla wanted was climb into a hot shower.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy walked into the Teller-Morrow house and was greeted by Tig who was sitting at the dining room table, whiskey in hand, staring out the patio doors at Kayla. Happy clapped his shoulder, "How's Gemma?"

Tig looked up at him, "She's gonna be fine. Docs are keeping her over night just to keep an eye on her. What's with the bag?"

Happy sat his duffle down, "Some shit. Not leaving her here without me."

Tig smiled, "Yeah, I get that. I need to head over to the house to pick up a few things. The others are at the clubhouse, did you check in?"

Happy nodded, "Clay said to come here and keep an eye on her, he needs you back at the clubhouse."

Tig downed his whiskey and stood up, "Alright. She's been out there smoking for over an hour. I think she's afraid to go to sleep."

Happy just nodded. Tig clapped him on the shoulder, "I'll be back."

Once Tig had left, Happy opened the patio door and walked out toward her. Kayla looked up, "Hey."

Happy offered her his hand, which she took. He sat down in the chair she had been sitting in and pulled her into his lap. He didn't say anything he just wrapped his arms around her letting her head rest on his shoulder.

Kayla felt the tears rolling down her face, she tried to wipe the tears away, but Happy tilted her head so he could look into her eyes, "You called me."

Kayla nodded, "I was scared."

Happy sighed, "That the only reason you called me, instead of Jax or Tig."

Kayla's chin quivered, her voice was barely a whisper, "I wanted you to hold me and tell me it would be ok."

Happy nodded, wrapping his arms back around her, he kissed the top of her head as her tears began to soak thru his tee shirt. He ran his hand up and down her back, "It's gonna be fine. I ain't gonna let anything happen to you." They sat like that for almost an hour, Happy could feel her shiver, he sighed, "Come on La, you're freezing."

Kayla held onto his kutte, her tears had stopped, "I don't want to move."

Happy smiled, making her stand, "I'm not going anywhere, La. Let's go to bed."

Kayla laid on the bed she had slept in as a teenager listening to the shower run. Her mind drifting to the man that would be climbing into bed with her, why did he want her? She wasn't beautiful, she was just average. She was chubby and short, her boobs were a little too big, and her ass she felt had it's own zip code. She sighed; hugging herself she took a deep breath, praying that he would just fall asleep. A man like Happy had tons of women, of every shape, size, and color. She was afraid he would compare her to all the other women, he had been with. She had been with other men, but always guys that were like her, a little flawed; from what she could tell nothing about Happy's body was flawed. Sure they had kissed, but it never got any further than that, what if he was disappointed when he finally saw her naked. Kayla jumped when the bathroom door opened. Happy walked over to the bed in a pair of black boxers, Kayla turned away, the man had a fucking models body. She swallowed hard again, maybe she should fake sick, just to get herself out of this. She felt the bed dip; Happy's arms engulfed her, his breath hot on her neck as he slowly pulled aside her hair to reveal her neck. Kayla shivered when he started littering her bare skin with slow kisses.

Kayla was in total freak out mode, her heart was racing, her palms were sweaty. She felt Happy grin against her neck, "Why you so far away, La?"

Before she could answer he turned her over, his face full of intensity as he leaned down and kissed her. The kiss was gentle at first, his lips gently brushing hers; she moaned opening her mouth slightly. Happy slipped his tongue inside her mouth, his tongue brushing against hers. Kayla felt his hand move up her shirt and she panicked pulling away and falling off the bed. She stood up hugging herself, "You don't have to do this. You won't want to do this."

Happy stared at her, he was straddling the fence between pissed and panic, what the hell did she think he was going to do? He thought she wanted this just as much as he did. He sat up in the bed, "What's the problem?"

Kayla looked down at the floor, "Happy, I'm not what you usually go for; you're going to be disappointed. Trust me. You will be."

Happy sighed scooting across the bed and sitting on the edge; he raised his finger and motioned to her, "Come here." His tone taking on one he would use with the prospects. Kayla stood frozen, Happy growled, "C-O-M-E Here." His words drawn out when he said come, he adjusted his tone, letting 'here' sound more gentle. Kayla looked up at him; he saw tears brimming in her eyes again. He sighed, if she was going to be his old lady that shit was going to stop. He wiggled his finger at her again and she slowly walked over toward him. He used his long arms to pull her toward him, standing her in-between his legs. He looked up at her, his large hands spread out against the back of her thighs to hold her in place, "What is the problem?"

Kayla hugged herself, she tried to look at the floor but Happy forced her to look at him. Kayla swallowed hard, "You're not going to like what you see." Her words were barely a whisper.

Happy ran his hands up her thighs to her ass squeezing hard, "Let me be the judge of that." He grabbed the hem of her tee shirt, "Take it off."

Kayla looked over at the bedside lamp that was still on, her eyes darting anywhere but looking at him as he lounged back on the bed on his elbows, his feet were hooked around her calves holding her in place, "The lights on."

Happy growled, "Light stays on, now take the shirt off La."

Kayla swallowed back a few tears and slowly pulled her tee shirt over her head. She let the shirt fall to the floor, her arms going to her chest to cover herself. She closed her eyes, not wanting to see his face.

Happy stared at her, Tig had told him how bad her self esteem was, but he had no idea. That shit was going to stop too. He looked at her creamy skin and smirked, the girl had no idea how beautiful she was standing there; her breathing was rapid which made her luscious tits move up and down. He slowly moved to sit back up. His hand making her jump when he ghosted his fingers over her stomach. He pressed his lips to her, right above her belly button, "Relax." He ran his hands up and down her arms, until he was able to get her to let go of herself. Their hands entwining as he worked himself up her stomach, he pulled back and stared at her, her eyes were still closed, "Open your eyes, La."

Kayla opened her eyes and stared down into his blazing black ones. Happy's voice was raspy and rough with desire, "Don't hide from me, La." He sat up straight his hand engulf her breast, when she sighed leaning over him, her hand going to his head, he smiled. He was slowly breaking her down. He slowly stood kissing her hard, his hands gently pulling on her mane of brown wavy hair. He slowly turned her so that he was in charge. As soon as she hit the bed, flat on her back, her arms went back up to her breasts. Happy grinned at her, his voice sounding gruff but not mean, "I told you not to hide from me." He pulled her arms away pinning them above her head, he laid next to her his fingers gently touching every inch of her. When his lips wrapped around her hard nipples, she let out a moan. Happy let her hands go as his other hand went to kneading her free breast. Kayla ran her hand from the top of Happy's bald head to the middle of his muscular back. He growled at her touch, his work on her breast increasing. Kayla could feel his erection digging into her thigh; he thrust into her a few times.

Kayla could feel herself growing wet as he moved back to her mouth. Their tongues fighting for control. Happy pulled her hair back and Kayla let out a breathy groan. He felt himself go stone hard, little bitch didn't know how fucking sexy she really was. His hand ghosted down her stomach and found the top of her shorts; his hand was inside them, before she could stop him. Kayla opened her eyes and saw him staring down at her as he slowly ran his finger along the wet folds. Her heart was beating as he slowly started working on her clit, his fingers rubbing her into a frenzy. When he thought she was close he thrust a finger inside her, Kayla screamed as her whole body shook. She laid there panting, her hand over her face. She felt the bed shift, when she looked up Happy was standing over her, naked, his boxers lost somewhere on the floor. He yanked at her shorts throwing them, he smirked at her, "That's better, now I can get to ya, La."

She stared up at him and she bit her bottom lip and she pulled her legs up and let her knees drop. Happy stared at her and thought he would cum right there; damn bitch has to know what she's doing to me. His eyes didn't leave her as he picked up his jeans grabbing a condom from his pocket and throwing it on the bed next to her. He started to move back toward her, but dropped to his knees, kissing the insides of her thighs.

Kayla knew where he was going, she sat up stopping him, "You don't have too."

Happy sighed, snarling at her, "I don't have to do shit. Lay your ass back and shut your mouth, La. You talk too much."

She lay back as he slowly licked her entrance, when he slipped his tongue inside her; she arched her back off the bed. Her hands going right to his head, her nails digging into the skin a little. He growled against her, his lips going to her clit, he began suckling her. He wanted her good and wet and fuck it all she was dripping.

He moved, kissing up her stomach again, when he kissed her and she could taste herself on his lips, it was like nothing she had ever done before. The kiss got more and more intense. She could feel him fumbling with the condom. She wanted him inside her, all the insecurities from earlier were forgotten.

Happy knew it won't last long, he had wanted to do this to her for weeks. The fact that she didn't realize what he did to him, made her that much sexier. Fucking croweaters, thought they were sexy, her being coy, making him work for it, was driving him nuts.

When he entered her, he hissed, "Fuck, La." She groaned, as he stretched her, he began moving his hips, thrusting deeping into her. She arched her back as he bit her just under her collarbone. Happy began moving faster, "Whose girl are you?"

Kayla opened her eyes and stared at him. He stopped thrusting, glaring down at her, "Whose girl are you?"

Kayla smiled up at him, "Yours, only yours."

Happy growled, thrusting harder and harder, when he felt her walls clamp down around him, he came, biting her again on the collarbone. Happy collapsed on top her; they were both covered in sweat. When he rolled over he took off the condom tossing it in the trash can, he pulled her onto his chest. His hand rubbing up and down her back.

Happy adjusted himself sitting up a little so he could light a cigarette. Kayla still had her head on his chest. Happy took drag off his smoke; he could feel Kayla tracing his tattoos with her finger. "La, we need to get a few things straight." She looked up at him; he could see the insecurity back. He sighed, flicking his ashes into the ashtray. He looked back down at her, "Don't fucking hide yourself from me. If it was up to me when we're behind closed doors you'd be naked all the time. Don't EVER doubt how much I want you. Got me?"

Kayla nodded, putting her head back on his chest. Happy sighed, pulling her chin up, making her look at him, "Got me?"

Kayla sighed, she was fighting tears again, "Yes, I got you."

Happy pulled her up to him and he kissed her, when he pulled away he really smiled at her, showing her his dimples, "You're my girl now and we ain't gonna have this talk again. Now go to sleep, so I can fuck you again in the morning." Kayla giggled and he stared at her, "What the fuck are you giggling about?"

Kayla touched his face, "You have a beautiful smile."

Happy groaned turning off the light. He slapped her ass, "Shut up."

Happy laid there wrapped around her while she drifted off to sleep. When he knew she was sleeping, he grabbed his boxers and pulled on his jeans and tee shirt. He walked downstairs and stopped when he saw Tig sitting at the table smirking at him.

Happy sighed, "How fucking long have you been here?"

Tig took a drag off his smoke, "Long enough. Did she try to blot?"

Happy sighed sitting down across from him, "Fuck off." Happy grabbed the bottle of whiskey in front of Tig and took a drink. "Clay did a real fucking number on her with that shit."

Tig nodded, "I told you. From the sound of things, she might be cured."

**-Hard to Love-**

The next morning Unser had called letting them know that they wanted Kayla and Gemma at the station. They wanted their statements and to see if they could positively id the person that attacked Gemma. After their statements, Hale had asked them to wait around to do a line up. It took an hour, but finally Hale walked them each into the room, both of them positively id'd the same person.

Gemma and Kayla were standing in the squad room talking with Unser. Happy, Clay, and Jax were standing behind them, the cops had cut the two women free finally and Happy couldn't wait to get her home and back to bed. They had two more rounds that morning and just watching her in her black skinny jeans made him hard.

Hale and two of his officers brought out Weston. The man was struggling. He saw Gemma and Kayla, "You stupid bitches! I'll kill you both for this! You're MC won't be able to save you. I'll gut you and then I'll rape your fucking corpses."

Kayla chuckled, "Enjoy prison, dickhead."

The plan had worked perfectly, they pinned the carjacking and assault on Weston. It might not stick but it brought SAMCRO time to gather more information on Zobelle. Happy wrapped a protectively arm around Kayla, "Let's go home." She nodded and let him lead her out to the bike.

**Ok, there you go! Neither one of them got raped and they turned the tables on Weston. I hope you liked it! And several of you were begging for Happy and Kayla to finally be together, hope you liked the way I wrote it! Ok, do your thing! Hugs, Kaye**


	8. Broken Girl

Chapter 8….Broken Girl

**Thank you guys so much for all the love! Your reviews and follows mean the world to me. This installment is going to be a bit darker. Things are getting more and more complicated for our couple and because it's the dangerous world of SOA, well things are gonna get real, real fast. I know this chapter is harsh but I thought it needed to be done. Kayla has had a lot of bad in her life, things she didn't handle well, but at least she always had her family to fall back on. So since she's been so weak in the past she feels like she owes them, even though she has given a lot for the club. She believes in her father's dream, so to her protecting SAMCRO is her number one priority. Ok with that being said, I'm hoping none of you want to kill me by the end of this chapter. Please remember I am going somewhere with this. Enjoy the ride, Kaye.**

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla sat on the bed watching Happy get dressed. In the three weeks since Weston had been carted off to county, things had been pretty quiet. Happy had slept every night he was in Charming in her bed, sometimes they even spent the whole day in her bed. But she knew the rules, the club was first, but that didn't mean she wasn't disappointed that he was going to be leaving for a run.

She sighed pulling the sheet up around her, she moved up behind him laying her head on his back while he laced up his boots sitting on the edge of the bed. "How long will you be gone?"

Happy chuckled, "Gonna miss me La?"

Kayla smirked as she littered his neck with soft kisses, "No."

Before she knew what was going on, he was on top of her pinning her to the bed. His black eyes narrowing, "What the hell do you mean, NO?"

Kayla smirked; she loved it when he took charge, "You know so I can make sure my other boyfriend is gone when you get back."

Happy growled at her, "Don't even fucking think about it. This pussy is all mine." He ran his hand under the sheet his ringed fingers ramming up into her, she moaned biting her lip. Happy stared at her, "Whose girl are you?"

Kayla loved how she got him all riled up, "Tigs?"

Happy kissed her hard biting down on her lip. He pulled away and shook his head, "Wrong fucking answer, try again."

Kayla quivered as he increased his assault on her clit, "Juice's?"

Happy snarled at her, ripping the sheet completely off her. She smirked at him as he undid his pants, "I'll remind you whose girl you are."

She wrapped her legs around him as he thrust into her core. His mouth leaving marks on her skin. She loved how possessive he could be, there was something so hot about him staking her as his. His thrusts were rough and fast, his hands digging into her hips, she knew there would be bruises later. He pulled her up in his arms giving himself a better angle. Kayla could tell by his breathing and his face, he was already close, "Whose girl are you? Fucking say it!"

Kayla panted, "Yours, Happy." She felt him cum which sent her over the edge with him. She lay underneath him both of them out of breath. She smiled as she ran a trail of kisses from his jaw line to his lips.

Happy kissed her back, "Crazy bitch." He pulled himself off the bed and pulled up his pants, shaking his head. He stood there staring at her, she looked fucking incredible laying there flush from fucking, her hair wild, and her face glowing. He really didn't want to leave her, but he knew he had too. "You know it pisses me off when you say that shit." He sat on the edge of the bed and lit a cigarette. He felt her move up behind him, her arms wrapping back around him.

Kayla ran her hand up to right above his heart, "You know there's no one for me but you. I just can't help loving it when you're pissed. You fuck me so hard and I cum so hard when you do that."

Happy smirked as he turned his head to look at her, she was grinning at him. He gave her a half smile, "You're a dirty little freak in bed aren't you?"

Kayla gave him a seductive smile, "Only for you big man. Only for you." She gave him a quick kiss and got up disappearing into the bathroom.

Happy shook his head; his girl was a fucking firecracker in the sack. She shocked him with how adventurous she was. Girl had his head all twisted up; she was like no woman he had ever known. She came back out of the bathroom with a pair of his favorite booty shorts and her bra on. She smiled at him as she walked to her closet.

Happy exhaled smoke, "How's work going?"

Kayla smiled, "I love it. I have a shit load of work to do, but with you gone for a few days, I might be able to grade some papers and pick the fall play for the drama club."

Happy put his knife on his belt and walked over to her, his hands going right to her ass. "Who won't love a smoking hot teacher, damn if more teachers looked like you in high school I might've done better in school."

Kayla giggled and leaned into his chest. "I'm gonna miss you. Please be careful."

Happy tilted her head up towards his, "You know it girl. I'll call you."

Kayla nodded as he let her go and grabbed his bag. He stopped at the door and pointed at her, "Stick close to Tig or whoever he has on you or you and me are gonna have problems, La."

Kayla smiled, "Promise, now get out of here, before Tig comes in to get you."

She stood watching him go and turned back to her closet, trying to pick the right thing to wear.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla had been home for an hour when Clay and Jax came walking in with Tig. Kayla had been standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes. She smiled at her brother as he kissed her cheek. Tig walked over to her giving her a hug before opening the fridge and grabbing three beers.

Clay stood leaning against the kitchen wall, "Kayla, I need you to call your friend Alaverez. Seems he's been cozying up with Zobelle again."  
Kayla wiped her hands on a dish rag, "That can't be. Alaverez wouldn't betray you; he won't betray me like that."

Jax sighed putting his beer down on the counter, "Well it seems that Zobelle has made him promises about increasing his 'H' trade if he backs him. We need you to make the call and remind him of his promise to you and to the club."

Kayla sighed, "Ok, when?"

Clay sat down at the kitchen table, "Now would be good."

Kayla nodded pulling her pre pay from her purse. She dialed Alaverez's number, the man picked up after several rings, "Chica, I knew you would be calling."

Kayla took a deep breath, "Tell me that what they're telling me is wrong, so I can reassure them that everything is fine between the Mayans and the SONS."

There was a long pause on the other end, "Chica, I'm sorry but this is business."

Kayla turned looking out the kitchen window, "Marcus, we had a deal, you gave me your word, on your honor as a president. You can't do this."

Alaverez sighed, "Chica, I can't do anything about this. This was a club decision, my guys want this. I'll give you anything else, but this."

Kayla felt a sob building up in her throat, "I kept your secret! I've kept HIM safe, you have to do this."

Alaverez sighed, "I'm sorry chica."

Kayla was shaking, "I will tell them. I'll tell them everything if you don't do this."

The other end of the phone was silent, "Good bye chica." The phone went dead. Kayla slammed the phone on the counter; she dropped her head trying to focus herself. She felt Tig's hand on her back.

Tig rubbed up and down her back, "Why don't you tell us, you can't keep protecting them. He went against his word. You don't have to protect anyone anymore."

Kayla slowly raised her head to look into Tig's comforting blue eyes, her voice was a whisper, "It was Marcus Jr, that took me that night. He and Ramirez."

Jax ran a hand over his face, "Jesus, Alaverez's son and VP. They're the ones that raped you."

Kayla put her hands over her face, she couldn't speak, she just nodded. She let out a deep sob, she knew telling them would lead to war, but since Alaverez broke his word, a war was coming anyway.

Tig wrapped his arms around her, "It's alright doll. Don't worry about any of this shit now. We'll take care of this. Now you're free of this. Let's get you to bed." She nodded and let Tig lead her into bed. Tig sat with her until she cried herself to sleep.

When he came out of the bedroom, Clay was on the phone, Jax was sitting staring at his beer bottle. Jax looked up at Tig, "Thank you. Thank you for taking care of my sister. I know you and I have our issues, but I'll never be able to thank you enough for all you do for her."

Tig took a sip of his beer and nodded, "I loved your father, when he died and Kayla started breaking down, I knew I had to step up for her, even if I couldn't be a father to my own. I knew that I could be one to her. You know in all these years she's only ever told one person who did that to her and Kozic won't tell me, not even Clay knew who it was."

Jax slammed down his beer, "KOZIC fucking knew and he never told anyone?"

Tig sat down across from Jax, "He couldn't. He's her fucking sponsor, its almost like a priest. They can't tell that shit. I know it about killed him. He's the only one that really knows what happened to her. I don't think I trust myself to know what happened."

Jax let out a breath, "I don't think I could either."

Clay came back in, "Talked to Quinn. We got back up coming. Tig I need you to call Happy. Tell him to finish up in Canada and head to Tacoma. We need their surplus of guns. Our next shipment from the Irish won't be here for two weeks and I don't want to get caught with our dicks out."

Tig nodded, "Sure. Want me to stay here with the peanut?"

Clay ran a tired hand over his face, "Yeah. Stay with her tonight. Have the prospect shadow her tomorrow. We need to dig our heels in for this shit. Keep your phone on. See you tomorrow brother."

After Clay and Jax left, Tig stared at his phone, he dreaded telling Happy what went down, but he knew he had too. Tig dialed the number and sat back in his chair, this wasn't going to be a fun conversation.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy had been on the phone for thirty minutes with Tig. The more he talked the more pissed he got. Alaverez backed out on their deal forcing Kayla's hand, he knew telling who had taken her probably tore her up. She cared about Alaverez, she felt like he had saved her all those years ago. He had sat at the bar in the Alberta charter's clubhouse for an hour, drinking hard. He had traveled to Canada with Quinn, and a load of guns. Even Quinn could tell tonight wasn't the night to approach Happy. Quinn had talked to Clay and knew that the Tacoma Killer, was working thru a lot of shit. He walked over and sat down next to him, "Why don't you call her?"

Happy turned to him, "What?"

Quinn took a shot, "Call her, she probably needs you right now. Just tell her she did the right thing by telling. This is some serious shit, what she's been sitting on all these years. Just call her; it'll make you feel better too."

Happy didn't answer him; he just grabbed a bottle of jack and walked back to his dorm room. He sat on the bed his cell in his hands. He didn't know how to handle this shit. He just wanted to hunt and kill the fuckers that had broken his girl all those years ago, but he knew that he had to wait. He dialed her number.

Kayla picked up her phone, "Hey." Her voice sounding far away.

Happy sighed, "Hey girl. How you doing?"

Kayla groaned, "Right as rain, I guess. How's the run?"

Happy took a drink, "The runs fine. Want to tell me about it?"

There was a long pause, "No. I know they told you. I just don't want to talk about it right now. I can't. How's Quinn?"

Happy sighed, "Quinn's fine, worried about you."

Kayla let out a quiet chuckle, "Quinn's wonderful. I'm going to see Karla this weekend. Her and the kids want me to come up and go to the movies, eat junk food, you know."

Happy took a drag from his smoke, "Sounds good, La. I'll be back early, but I'm not sure how early. La, it's gonna be alright. Just do what Tig tells you to do."

Kayla smiled, "I will. Miss you."

Happy grinned, "Me too girl, me too."

**-Hard to Love-**

Work had sucked, Kayla had broken up two fights and to make matters worse, the prospect had been called away to help with an Irish issue so she was stuck waiting around the school for someone to come follow her home. She finally gave up and made her way to her car. She had a headache, her feet were killing her from the heels, and she had a shit ton of grading to do before Monday.

When she got home the house was quiet. She walked into her bedroom and changed, grabbing her iPod she figured a little music was in order. She hummed to herself as she made a sandwich. She headed into the living room sitting down she flicked on the television and took out her ear buds. She was just getting ready to take a bite of her sandwich when she heard his voice, "That looks good. Want to offer me some, chica?"

Terror flooded her system, she ran toward the front door, but felt his arms around her waist and his gun pushed up against her temple. Marcus Jr., laughed, "Did you miss me baby?" He ran his tongue up the side of her neck.

Kayla screamed, "Please don't. Please don't do this." He just laughed and her world went black.

It was hours, Kayla kept praying that someone would come, but no one did. She knew she was blocking out large chucks of time, but she didn't want to remember. She lay motionless on the bed; her body ached and felt every inch of the abuse that Marcus had inflicted on her. She didn't move when Marcus crouched down in her line of sight, when he reached out a hand to touch her face, she flinched.

Marcus smirked, "Well as much fun as this has been I have to go. But I have a message for you from Mr. Zobelle, he wants your family to stop selling guns to the Niners, or this little meeting will happen again. And Kayla the next time, I'll kill you."

She watched as he walked out her bedroom door. She laid there straining to hear anything. When she thought it was safe she slowly scooted to the edge of the bed, she could see dried blood on her legs. She stood up and her knees went out, when she fell to the floor she sobbed pulling herself into the bathroom she slammed the door and locked it.

It took her hours to clean herself up, her mind was a mess. She had let this happen to her again. Maybe there was something so broken in her that she sent out those kinds of vibes that made men hurt her, or that man. Once she put on sweats and a tee shirt, she looked at her bloody sheets. She ran back into the bathroom and threw up. Her hands were shaking; she didn't know what to do. So she called the only person she thought would help her.

She found her cell phone and the gun from her purse. She walked thru the house, locking every door and window. Then she went into Tig's room and lay down on his bed, his comforting smell filling her nose. She dialed the phone, after a few rings, Kozic answered, "Sweetcheeks, what's going on?"

Kayla let out a sob, "Kozic, I'm in trouble."

Kozic stood up from the bar at Tacoma's Clubhouse, "What's the matter baby girl?"

Kayla sobbed, her words barely coming out, "He was here. He did it again….he said…said it was a message to….the club…..what do I do?"

Kozic felt sick, "Baby, where are you?"

Kayla looked around, "At home, in Tig's room. I'm so scared. If I tell….people will die." Her last words barely a whisper.

Kozic motioned to his VP, Mad dog, the man walked over to Kozic as Kozic grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled down, C_all Redwood, now, Kayla at her house, tell them to get there now!_ Mad dog nodded taking off to the other side of the clubhouse. Kozic turned his attention back to Kayla, "Ok, sweetheart, I'm going to keep talking to you till the guys get there."

Kayla cried harder, "You can't tell. Please don't tell. You can't."

Kozic groaned, "It's going to be alright. You just have to settle down. Just keep talking to me, you're not alone honey."

Kayla sobbed, "I'm evil. There's just something wrong with me. Why didn't he kill me, it would've been better."

Kozic closed his eyes, "Don't talk like that. You got a lot of people who love you. I love you. What about Happy? He loves you."

Kayla hadn't thought about Happy in all the things that she had been through she hadn't thought about what Happy would say. She closed the phone and laid there on Tig's bed.

**-Hard to Love-**

When Mad Dog called Tig, Chibs, and Bobby had just gotten back from a run. They were standing outside shooting the shit when Half-sack came out and said Tacoma was on the phone. Tig was out the door and on the way to his house in minutes. He and Bobby took the back while Chibs went in the front door. Tig's heart was beating so loud he was getting a fucking headache from the sound. He and Bobby cleared the kitchen, he saw Chibs move toward his room.

Chibs stood and stared at the girl, "Christ, Tig she's here."

Tig came up behind him, when he saw her, his heart broke. She was curled up on her stomach, staring at the wall, she didn't even blink. Tig moved to sit next to her on the bed, but she recoiled a whimper slipping from her throat. Tig swallowed hard, "Peanut, it's just me." He put his hand on her head, softly brushing her hair; he turned to Chibs, "Get Tara here NOW!"

Kayla was in the same position when Tara and Jax got there. Tara stepped into the room and gasped, "Oh my God. Everyone clear out. Jax I need you to call your mother."

Jax was frozen as he looked at his sister, but he nodded his head and went outside to call Gemma.

When Tig finally left his room and came into the living room. Bobby and Chibs looked up at him grimly. Bobby took a deep breath, "Brother you need to see her room."

When Tig flipped on the light to her room, he couldn't breathe. The bed sheets were a mess, there was blood staining them. As he walked into the bathroom he could see where she had drug herself into the room. He leaned his head against the wall, his fist banging harder and harder into it, tears running down his face. He felt a hand on his back when he turned he saw Jax standing there looking as lost as he felt.

Tig grabbed Jax pulling him into a hug, "I should've been here man. I'm so sorry."

Jax pulled away from Tig shaking his head, "If you were here they would've killed you brother."

Tig shook his head, "No, I could've stopped this from happening, again, to her!"

Before Jax could answer, Chibs appeared at the door, "Found all the guns from the house out back in the trash can. They made sure she didn't have a piece on her."

Tig kicked the wall, "FUCK!"

Jax stared at Chibs, "Is that all?"

Chibs looked down at the ground, "Quinn just called, Happy's on his way. He tore the fuck out of the bar in Tacoma. Took three guys to get him to calm down. Kozic is with him. Quinn said he and the Nomads will be here tomorrow."

Tig looked at Jax, "You won't be able to stop us from getting this fucker. This has to be bloody."

Jax just nodded as Tig left the room, once again Jax felt like they had let his sister down."

**-Hard to Love-**

Tara insisted they take Kayla to St. Thomas. She said she was worried about a head injury. Half way to the hospital, Kayla had started screaming, refusing to let Tara touch her. By the time they got to the hospital, Tara had to order one of the nurses to sedate her. Tara looked over her chart and sighed. The girl had four cracked ribs, a broken wrist, and a concussion. She knew what they were going to ask, Tara took a deep breath and headed toward the waiting room.

Happy had exploded when Kozic told him. He didn't even remember but when he finally came to his senses Lorca, Quinn, and Kozic were on top of him holding him down. He didn't wait for orders, he went out and got on his bike, he knew Kozic was following him, but he didn't give a shit. He was going to her and once he knew she was alright, he was going to kill the motherfucker that hurt her. He had promised her that everything would be fine and it hadn't been.

When he walked into the hospital waiting room. Tara had just started listing off her injuries; Tara froze when she saw him. Tig cleared his throat, "Keep going doc. Broken wrist, cracked ribs, what else?"

Tara swallowed hard, "She has a concussion and several deep bruises on her abdomen we want to keep an eye on."

Gemma stood up, hugging herself, tears brimming in her eyes, "Was she raped?"

Tara looked at the floor and just nodded. When Tara looked up Happy was right in her face, "How many?"

Tara blinked not sure what he was asking, then it donned on her, he wanted to know how many attacked Kayla. Tara shook her head, "I don't know. She took a shower after or they made her take one. The rape kit didn't get much."

Hap just nodded, "What room?"

Tara stared at him, "Hap I don't think…."

Happy moved closer to her, "WHAT ROOM?"

Tara sighed, "Two oh eight, down the hall on the right side. Just be gentle with her."

Happy glared at her, "I know how to take care of my old lady." He stormed pass everyone, how dare they question how he was with her.

When Happy opened the door, he winced. Kayla looked so pale against the dark green sheets. Her left eye was swollen, her lip was busted, and there was a bandage on her cheek. She turned her head when he walked in, he sighed walking over to the side of the bed. He put the rail down and watched as Kayla flinched. He sat down next to her, his hand going to her face, his raspy voice cracked as he spoke, "Look at me, La. Come on girl, look at me."

She slowly turned to him, her swollen bottom lip quivering, "I'm sorry, I tried so hard to fight him."

Hap put his hand on her cheek and she let out a sob. Happy didn't think he could speak; he just needed to hold her. He slowly eased himself down, next to her, when he pulled her to his chest she cried out holding her ribs. Happy ran a ringed finger down her cheek wiping the tears away. Kayla had a death grip on his kutte, while Happy slowly ran his fingers thru her hair. They didn't say anything, they just lay together. Gemma opened the door to her daughter's room thirty minutes later and saw the two of them in the same position, but Kayla was sleeping. Gemma came in and sat next to the bed, Happy just nodded to the Queen, he wasn't going anywhere.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kozic had talked to Kayla before the others left; he had slowly gotten some information out of her. When she confirmed that it had been Marcus, he had held her, telling her everything would be fine. As Kozic was leaving, Kayla started tearing up, "Please don't leave me."

Kozic stopped at the door and glanced in the hallway, Happy was leaning against the wall waiting to come in. Kozic smiled back at Kayla, "I'm going to the clubhouse, but I think Killer has this." Kozic hugged Happy as he walked out.

Happy gave Kayla a small reassuring smile, "I ain't leaving La. But you need to sleep."

Kayla nodded, moving over in the bed, her voice was soft, "Lay with me please?"

Happy nodded lying down on the bed next to her. His arms wrapping protectively around her. It took a long time for her to fall asleep and when she did sleep her rest was fitful, Happy softly kissed her head. He was going to make this right, as best as he could.

While Happy had been with Kayla, Clay put in a call to Alaverez telling him they needed to meet. The only thing he said was that Kayla had been seriously injured. Clay had pulled Happy aside and made sure to ask him if he could hold his shit together to get thru the meeting. All Happy did was nod his head, he was afraid if he said anything he might hit his president.

SAMCRO was waiting when the Mayans pulled into the small park in Oakland. Quinn and Kozic hung back by Happy as the two presidents met in-between the two lines of bikes.

Alaverez looked up and down the line of SONS, "What's this about Clay?"

Clay shook his head, "What this is about is my daughter was raped by one of your guys last night, on behalf of Zobelle." Clay watched as Alaverez's eyes went wide, he could tell the man had no knowledge of what had happened.

Alaverez stared at Clay, "My guys had nothing to do with this."

Clay smirked, "Ask your boy where he was last night, because that's who she said did it."

Alaverez looked behind him at his son; he turned back to Clay, "Did she have bite marks on her thighs?"

Clay huffed, "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Alaverez took a step closer to Clay, "Did she have bite marks on her thighs?"

Clay nodded his head, he had no idea if she did or didn't but she could tell that Alaverez wanted proof that it was his demon spawn that had done this. Clay knew that Kayla wouldn't make this up. She had protected the Mayans for years, to guarantee peace between the two clubs, she won't make it up. Alaverez looked down at the ground, "Give me a minute."

He walked over and spoke to his SAA, the two men talking in hushed tones. A few minutes later two of the Mayans were dragging Marcus Jr, toward Clay. Alaverez looked from his son to Clay, "Tell Kayla I hope she gets better. I leave HIM to you."

Clay nodded, motioning for Tig and Chibs to take Marcus Jr. Marcus Jr's eyes were wide, "Papa you can't do this! I didn't do this."

Alaverez turned grabbing his son's shirt, "You have disgraced me for the last time. I protected you and your ways, but no more. I gave you an order to stay away from her, you are dead to me." Alaverez looked at his men, "Take his kutte."

Tig and Chibs released Marcus Jr long enough for the Mayans to take his kutte. Tig and Chibs drug the man kicking and screaming toward the SONS.

Happy was vibrating as they brought him toward a circle that was forming. The SONS closed the circle, all of them glaring at the man on his knees who was begging for his life. Clay smiled at Tig and Chibs, "Let him go, this is Happy's."

Happy smiled sinisterly as he handed his kutte to Kozic. Tig and Chibs melted into the crowd as Happy moved toward Marcus. He picked him up by the face, "I'm gonna rip you apart with my bare hands."

Marcus chuckled, "She'll never forget what I did to her. You're always gonna wonder if she liked it."

Happy grinned, leaning in close to his face, "When I fuck her she begs me to keep going, when you raped her she begged you to stop. I don't think she'll give you a second thought after today."

Happy head butted him sending the man to the ground. He was on top of him, punching him in the ribs and gut. Marcus tried to fight back, but Happy didn't let him, he flipped Marcus onto his belly, grabbing his head he began pounding his head into the ground, until his body went slack. When Happy stood up he pulled his gun and emptied the clip into Marcus' still body.

Quinn put his hand on Happy's shoulder, "It's over brother. Let's get back to your girl. She's home now."

Happy just nodded walking back toward his bike. Juice came up to him handing him a towel, "For the blood on your face."

Happy looked in his mirror and saw he had blood all over his face. He wiped the blood from his face and handed the towel back to Juice. When he was pulling out he looked in his mirror and saw Tig draw his own gun shooting Marcus' body a few more times for good measure.

**Ok, should I be under a rock? I know it was a rough chapter, but at least Marcus is out of the way. How will Kayla handle all of this? What will Happy do? I hope you liked the drama, even though it was rough. Ok, do your thing! Hugs, Kaye**


	9. Demons

Chapter 9….Demons on My Heels

**Peeking out from under my rock, I noticed that while you were sad for Kayla, none of you wanted to murder me. Thank you for that, your support means the world to me. There was a question about JT, and what kind of a father he was. When he was home, he was a wonderful father, but like on the show he disappeared to Ireland. But because Kayla was the youngest she still had that daddy idol worship that most of us young girls had for our fathers at that time. I promise to do a flashback sooner or later that tells how Tig handled it, because it was that moment that Tig became protective over her.**

**Ok, sorry for the rant. Now keep in mind, Happy is all club and does his job well. But when it comes to taking care of an old lady, sometimes he doesn't have a freaking clue. So try not to get too mad at him when he drops the ball or doesn't know how to handle her, he is human, at least in this story he is…LOL. Ok, on with the story.**

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla was curled up on the couch when Happy made it to her mom's house. Her eyes were closed; she was faking sleep to get out of talking to anyone. She knew they meant well, but she just couldn't handle anything just yet. The doctor had given her a few pain pills for her ribs, which she had given the bottle to her mother, telling her to give them to Clay for his hands. So she was toughing this out, though her head screamed for something to take the edge off and make her forget.

Happy stood watching her from the doorway, she looked worse today he thought. Gemma came over and gave him a hug, "How you doing today Hap?"

Happy just nodded, "I'm alright. How's she?"

Gemma sighed, "She's quiet. Been sleeping a lot but I don't know how. The doctor gave her some pain meds, which she gave to me for Clay. She said she can't take them, she's afraid to take them. She has to be hurting something fierce."

Happy nodded, "I have church in an hour. I just want to sit with her, if that's alright?"

Gemma nodded, "Sure baby. Let me know if you need anything."

Happy eased onto the couch next to her, gently lifting her head so it rested on his lap. His hand stroking her hair from her face. They were going after Zobelle; he hoped they would make this whole nightmare go away, for all of them.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla was being force feed her mother's meatloaf. The woman just couldn't stay still; Kayla knew something was going on; just by the way her mother kept pacing back and forth. When Chibs came in he smiled at Kayla, "Hey there lasse, see your up and moving." Kayla nodded and tried to give him a tired smile.

Chibs looked at Gemma, "Gem, need to talk to you for a minute."

Gemma got up and smiled at Kayla, placing a kiss on her forehead, "Be right back sweetie."

Gemma walked outside with Chibs she hugged herself, "What happen? Are they hurt?"

Chibs sighed; the whole day had been fucked up. If he hadn't have been with Opie chasing after Zobelle they would've been arrested too. He sighed, "The boys got arrested. The intel they got was bad; we walked into a fucking set up. Gem it was a room full of fucking kids and women! Op and I chased after Zobelle and when we got back the sheriffs were arresting the rest of the guys. I came straight here; I made Opie go home to check on Lyla and the kids. We're going to have all the women stay here, just to be safe till the others are out."

Gemma put her hands on her hips, "Shit. This is gonna fucking tear her up! Why didn't you guys wait?"

Chibs sighed, "Jacky boy tried to tell us, but all we saw was blood. We wanted to take him out before he could hurt any more of you. I'm real sorry Gem. I got the prospects on their way and Quinn and his boys. As soon as they get here, I'm heading over to get Tara and Abel."

Gemma nodded, "Alright. I have to tell her. Shit, I have to call the lawyer."

Chibs pulled Gemma into a hug, "They'll be alright."

Gemma pulled herself together as she walked thru the house to the dining room. She knew what this meant, the guys were in county with AJ Weston and a whole mess of Aryan pricks. She sat down next to Kayla.

Kayla pushed back her meal and looked at her mother, "What happened?"

Gemma sighed reaching for her hand, "They got arrested baby."

Kayla nodded; her expression was blank, "Are they alright?"

Gemma nodded, "Can I do anything? Do you need to talk?"

Kayla shook her head, "No. I just need to sleep."

Gemma patted her hand, "Ok, baby. We're going to have a full house, but I'll make sure no one bothers you. Just get some rest."

When Kayla got to the top of her stairs she found herself going to her parent's room. She could hear her mother on the phone, so she went into their bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. Her bottle of pain kills stared at her, she told herself she just needed to sleep that a few of them would knock her out and then tomorrow she won't need them anymore. Somewhere deep inside she knew she was kidding herself, but she took the bottle and went back to her room. Once she got there she took three, hiding the pills in her closet in one of her boots. She laid down and found that the pills helped and soon she was sleeping a dreamless sleep.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy stood watching as Jax and Clay bickered back and forth. They were fucked. Their VP and Pres couldn't stop fighting, they had no protection, and it seemed the ATF was stalling their case. His eyes scanned the yard as he watched AJ Weston head their way with several of his white power friends behind him. The SONS all stood up behind Clay as Weston stopped a few feet from them.

Weston smiled, "Well, look what we have here boys. Looks like selling to color hasn't been so good for you?"

Clay folded his arms over his chest, "Keep moving Weston. You don't want to piss us off today."

Weston chuckled, "Really? Heard you've been having a really shitty day. I was sorry to hear about your daughter, but I heard the guy that ordered it was nice enough to send her a wetback to do the job, since that's what her taste seems to be." Weston's last comment was directed at Happy.

Happy kept his jaw stone stiff, he took a few steps toward Weston, "Bet you ain't ever had a woman that fine."

Weston snickered, "A whore is a whore, no matter what color they fuck."

Tig broke first his fist connecting with Weston. During the fight someone pulled a knife on Juice sending the kid to the hospital. Lucky for them Gemma had come thru on the outside and got them bail. As he sat in the van heading for the clubhouse he tried to clear his head of all the shit. They had been stupid when they went after Zobelle half cocked; they just had to be smart about this.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla had been left alone most of the day. Which worked for her, it wasn't her mother's fault that she was running around trying to get the guys out. Kayla had already had two pills with a Jack chaser, she wasn't going to, but she had fallen asleep on the couch and when she woke up Half sack was shaking her. She was having one hell of a nightmare. After Half Sack had went back outside she had taken the pills and the Jack was to take the edge off.

Now she was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. She knew she was falling into bad habits, but at the moment she didn't give a shit. Her boogie man had been real, he had tortured her in her dreams for twelve years and then when she thought she had finally found happiness he had snatched it all away.

She needed to get away. Somewhere no one looked at her with pity. If she went to Seattle to stay with Karla she would know, she would look at her with the same sad eyes her mother did. She had to think this out. She had the next week off school; she just needed some time to herself. Pulling herself up from her chair she walked inside and made a few calls she figured Karla was the only one they would leave her with. At least that was just one set of eyes, versus the steely black ones she was trying to avoid.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy was exhausted when he got back to the clubhouse. He knew he won't be any good to Kayla like that. He also knew she would probably be pissed at him for getting locked up. He headed back to his dorm. He had no fucking clue what he was doing anymore. He lit a smoke just as his door opened revealing Quinn.

Quinn looked at Hap, he looked like shit. The man had aged in just a few days, "Hey brother how're you doing?"

Happy just shook his head, "I'm fucked. I don't know what I'm doing."

Quinn nodded, "Why aren't you with Kayla tonight?"

Happy sighed, "I can't deal with that tonight. I need some sleep."

Quinn ran a hand over his face, "It comes with the old lady territory. They don't stop being yours just because you had a shit day. Think about what she's been thru."

Happy stood up his eyes narrowing, "Don't you fucking tell me how to deal with her. Who the fuck do you think you are? And I haven't put any ink on her yet, Jesus. You all act like we're fucking married."

Quinn stood chest to chest with him, "She needs you plain and simple. If this is too much for your punk ass then you better cut her the fuck loose. Cuz you fucking with her head isn't helping."

Happy pushed Quinn back, Quinn just grinned at him. "You need to beat something man. I'll dance."

Before Happy could go for it Kozic appeared at the door, "Happy, Kayla is talking about getting away for a few days. I don't think that's a good idea."

Happy sighed, looking down at the floor, "She ain't going nowhere."

Kozic nodded, "That's what I told her, but she seems desperate to get away. She took the week off of school and brother I'm worried about her. Something's up."

Happy narrowed his eyes at him, "Like what?"

Kozic shook his head, "I don't know, but once an addict, always an addict. We can go into recovery, but the addict is still in there. She's shutting down. She ain't even talking to me about this shit. I think she's really fucked up this time."

Happy grabbed his kutte, glaring at his two brothers, "I'll take care of this shit. She'll do what I TELL her to do."

As they watched him leave Quinn groaned, "We better follow him."

Kozic sighed, "Yeah."

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy stood over her, she was sound asleep. He wasn't mad at her, but he was pissed. Pissed that someone had taken what was his, pissed that he didn't protect her. He sat down on the bed making her jump. She sat up against the headboard, "Hey."

Happy nodded, moving so his arms were on either side of her, "What's this about you going away for a few days? I don't remember telling you that was ok."

Kayla stared at him, "I need to get away and I didn't think I had to ask for permission."

Happy snorted, "You're my old lady, which means you don't go fucking anywhere unless I tell you it's alright. And you need to keep your happy ass in Charming while shit is going on."

Kayla just stared at him; there was no pity in his eyes, what she saw looking back at her was hate. "Happy why don't you go back to the clubhouse and we can talk about this tomorrow."

Happy moved in closer to her, "No La, we'll talk about this shit now. Kozic is afraid you're gonna use. You need to fucking stay put. I can't protect you if you're not here."

Kayla folded her arms over her chest trying to keep calm, but the way he was acting and how close he was, was unnerving her. "Whatever you want Happy."

Happy growled, "Don't fucking shut me out. What is wrong with you?"

Kayla pushed him away and stood up. Happy was taken off guard; he stood up staring at her. "What the fuck?" As he walked around the bed toward her she flinched. He went to put his hand on her arm to pull her to him, but she freaked falling to the floor and scrambling backward on her ass.

When Kozic and Quinn heard her scream, they bolted up the stairs, slamming the door open. Happy stood there staring at her in disbelief, he won't hurt her. He just figured she needed someone to be strong with her, make her stay in Charming. Now he stared at what use to be his girl, half in and half out of her closet, sobbing on the floor. He felt someone pulling him out of the room. Quinn left him in hall, and went back to help Kozic.

Kozic knelt down in front of Kayla, "Sweet cheeks, let's get back in bed. Everything is fine. No one's going to hurt, not Happy, not me, not anyone. Come on."

Kayla stared up at Kozic, "I want Tig." She choked out in-between sobs.

Kozic nodded his head and turned to Quinn, "Call Tig. Tell him to get here."

When Quinn went out into the hallway Happy had his head down, slumped against the wall. Quinn was afraid if he went near him he'd beat him to death. He got a hold of Tig and turned to Happy, "Go back to the clubhouse, we got this. You stay the fuck away till your heads on straight." Happy just nodded.

When Tig came into her room, she was still rolled on her side, her knees pulled into her chest. Tears were still wet on her face. Tig sighed taking off his knife and gun. He did what he had done all those years before, he climbed into bed behind her, she sobbed turning she cried into his shirt, "I kill everything. I'm poison."

Tig kissed her forehead, "No baby, you're not. Come on, Happy doesn't know what the fuck to do here. He's never even had an old lady before and now all this shit."

Kayla nodded against his chest, "I'm the reason you guys got arrested right? Everything is my fault. I should've checked the house, I didn't, maybe I could've ….."

Tig pulled her closer, "No! Stop that. This is not on you baby."

Kayla sobbed harder, "I want to get away for awhile, please take me away from here. I don't care where we go."

Tig sighed, "Alright baby. It's going to be alright."

When she finally stopped crying and fell asleep, Tig slipped from the room. Quinn and Kozic were sitting at the table with Gemma and Clay. "She wants to get away for a few days. She was supposed to go visit Karla this weekend anyway, do you think your old lady would put us up?"

Quinn nodded, "Absolutely. I'll call her now. She's been worried sick about her anyway."

Clay looked at Tig, "I need you here brother. We have all this shit going down with Zobelle. We need to finish this."

Tig nodded, "Let me drop her off there. Karla will watch her, I'll come back down."

Kozic shook his head, "I'll take her. You stay here. I need to go to Tacoma anyway, that way I'm close if she needs to talk."

Clay nodded, "Sounds like a plan."

**-Hard to Love-**

Karla felt free on the ride to Streetsboro, the small suburb where Karla and Quinn called home. She hugged up close to Kozic and just enjoyed the silence of the road. When they finally pulled into the drive, Karla came bolting from the house with her three teenage daughters behind her. Karla wrapped her arms around Kayla, "I'm so glad you're here."

Kayla pulled away and grinned, "Me too."

Kayla found she hardly needed the pain pills when she was with Karla and the girls. They went shopping, they went to the movies, ate food at odd hours of the night, all and all it was just what she needed. While she was gone, the boys had successfully chased Zobelle out of town, but in the process Half-Sack had been killed. The night that Kozic had come to tell her she had cried a little. They sat talking about what a great kid he was until the late hours of the morning. That night when Kayla went to bed she took four pain pills and cried herself to sleep for her friend.

**-Hard to Love-**

When Happy entered the funeral home he walked behind his brothers toward Half-Sack's casket. They all stood their somberly paying their respects. When he walked out he scanned the room for Kayla. Tig said she had gotten back that afternoon; he hadn't called her while she was gone. He had been knee deep in shit with Zobelle and honestly, he didn't know what to say to her. He saw Tara with Jax first, he walked over to them nodding at Jax, "Hey, have you seen Kayla?"

Tara smiled at him, "She's outside with Gemma and the rest of the old lady brigade." He nodded to her and walked outside. He saw Kayla and was relieved when she came right over to him.

Kayla wrapped her arms around him, "I'm so sorry about Sack, baby. Can I do anything?"

Happy hugged her back just standing there enjoying the feel of her body against his. "Nah girl I'm good. What you're doing right now is all I need."

Before Kayla could answer shots rang out. Happy pushed her to the ground his gun drawn he ran toward the white van firing. Kayla covered her head, trying to control her breathing. She heard screaming, when she looked up, she saw Lyla cradling Kenny in her arms. Blood was running his shirt, Tara had already moved to him, trying to stop the bleeding. The guys were all pulling Jax off a man and David Hale was lying lifeless in the street.

By the time they got back to the house, Kayla made a beeline for the living room. She took a long gulp from a bottle of Jack off the bar. Her mother stood there watching her, "Should you be doing that?"

Kayla slammed down the bottle, "It's been a rough night ma, it's not like I'm taking it to my room."

Gemma just nodded at her daughter, "If you're going to be alright I'm heading to the hospital. Kenny is in surgery. I know that Opie and Lyla will need me."

Kayla just nodded; she walked over and hugged her mom, "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I'm heading to bed."

Gemma kissed her daughter, "It's alright baby. Get some sleep."

When Kayla got to her room she sat and chopped up four pills snorting them thru her nose to get the instant high. As she fell back on the bed she told herself she could control this, she just needed something to get her thru all this shit. She looked at the empty bottle of pain killers; she was going to need more.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla went back to school, she was swamped with work. She vowed to herself to never take a full week off again. She didn't see Happy for a few days. She kept herself busy with going to the hospital to visit Kenny. She also went to the doctor, when she got the intern instead of the regular doctor she almost jumped for joy. He refilled her prescription for Percocet and even gave her ninety saying that cracked ribs were a bitch to get rid of. She filled it and began slowly taking them whenever she felt like her walls were coming down. She didn't want anyone to see how damaged this had made her, especially Happy. He was already distant and cold she didn't want to push him the rest of the way gone.

She was flying high that night when he came in. She had bought a bottle of whiskey and hidden it in her bedroom; to be honest it wasn't the first one. She was sitting on her bed grading papers when she heard his voice on the stairs talking to her mother. She grabbed the bottle off the night stand and hid it under her bed. When he opened the door she smiled up at him, "Hey there big man."

Happy looked at her, she seemed, well too happy. She was sitting there with papers spread out all over the bed. He walked over and kissed her forehead, he smelled the whiskey almost right away. "Have you been drinking?"

Kayla gave him her best fake smile. He backed up as she stood up, her hands going to his kutte. "No silly, I'm sure it's just from you."

Happy grabbed her hands, "I haven't had anything today. Why you lying, La?"

Kayla felt panic hit her when he pulled her in for a kiss; she gave him everything she had. Letting her tongue massage his, she thought for a second that he was giving in; she couldn't get caught, not by him. She knew she had been stupid.

Happy pulled away from her, his eyes were hard and cold, "Where's the bottle, La?"

Kayla pushed away from him, "I don't know why you think you can come in here after ignoring me for a week and order me around."

Happy growled at her and went to her dresser going thru her drawers. Kayla pulled on his arm, "STOP! You have no fucking right!"

Happy grabbed her firmly by the neck, "You are going to sit the fuck down and shut up! Unless you're going to tell me where it is."

He released her, Kayla's chest was heaving, she barely got out the whisper, "Fuck you."

Happy grabbed her arm and led her over to the chair in the corner, he pushed her down. He pulled back her hair and stared down into her eyes. He knew she was high by the shape of her pupils, "What did you take?"

Kayla just stared at him, tears threatening her eyes, "I didn't take anything! Why are you doing this?"

Happy left her in the chair as he continued tearing apart her room. When he got to the bed, she ran over grabbing his arm, "I told you there's nothing here. Please stop!"

Happy stopped when his hand found the Jack Daniels bottle, he slowly pulled it out from the under the bed. He grabbed her by the back of the neck and forced her to sit down on the bed, "I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T DRINKING! WHY YOU LYING? HUH, WHAT ELSE IS IN THIS FUCKING ROOM? YOU WILL FIND IT NOW IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU."

Staring down at her, he wanted to hold her, tell her it was alright, but he knew from talking to Kozic sometimes the only way to get thru to an addict was to scare them. Kayla just looked down at her hands, not moving. Happy leaned down staring into her face, using every inch of his body to intimidate her, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, either way this shit stops tonight! NOW FUCKING GIVE ME THE DRUGS."

Kayla was hyperventilating, she couldn't think straight, mostly because of the fact that she was higher than a fucking kite. She looked up at him, "My closet."

Happy yanked her up hard from the bed, "Show me. NOW!"

Kayla walked over to the closet and fell to the floor; she pulled out two pill bottles filled with perocerts and a baggie of pot that belonged to Bobby. She hugged her knees as he towered over her; his voice was quiet, "Is this it?"

She could hear the disgust and disappointment in his voice. She just stared at her toe nails, trying to focus on anything but him. Happy knelt down roughly tilting her head so she had to look at him, his voice coming out thru gritted teeth, "I asked if this was it?" She shook her head. Happy stood up and pulled out his phone.

She hugged her knees as she listened to him talk to Tig. Happy's end of the conversation was quiet, he just told Tig that she was using, that she was high and drunk. She rocked back and forth, maybe this is what she deserved, if they were all pissed at her, then they might let her go. She had been fine in Colorado, maybe she just needed to disappear.

She was snapped out of her thoughts as Happy pulled a bag out of her closet. She looked up at him, "What are you doing?" He didn't answer her, he just packed the bag. His mind was on over drive. He had noticed how much she had been pulling away, Kozic had warned him, but he had been so focused on club shit he figured Gemma was watching her.

Tig had told him on the phone not to talk to her, that when she was high she would say anything to get out of trouble. He heard her asking him what he was doing but he didn't pay any attention. He continued to fill her bag. Tig was on his way with the van, he had said he would call Kozic. He trusted the two men; they had dried her out the first time, so he would follow their lead.

Kayla stood up, "ANSWER ME!" She tried to grab his arm, when he spun around at her he just pushed her back to the chair forcing her to sit. She watched as he grabbed a pair of shoes and jeans he threw them to her. She could tell he was beyond pissed.

Happy stared at her, trying to pull his rage back, his rage at her for using, his rage at Gemma for being blind to it, and especially his rage for not helping her. "Put your clothes on, NOW."

Kayla stood up, her voice very small, "I need to go to the bathroom."

Tig had told him not to let her go anywhere alone, he opened the door for her. When she was in the bathroom he stood there. Kayla turned to him, "Privacy?"

Happy growled at her, "Take a piss or get out, but your privacy ended the moment you got high the first time."

Kayla glared at him pulling on her jeans. Happy watched as she reached into the medicine cabinet. He pulled her back, "Tell me what you need."

Kayla hugged herself, she was getting pissed now, "I need my brush and stuff, Jesus Christ."

Happy grabbed up what he thought she would need and motioned for her to go back into the bedroom. He shoved it into her bag, she made a run for the door and he blocked her grabbing her waist he drug her back to the chair. He leaned over her, "I suggest you keep your ass in this chair and your mouth SHUT, unless you want to make things worse."

Kayla sat there watching him as he ripped thru the rest of the room looking for any other kind of drugs she could be hiding. She glared at him, "This is America! You can't fucking hold me hostage."

Just then Tig opened the door his face grim, he looked at Kayla then at Happy, "Is she pissed yet?"

Happy just nodded as Tig walked over to her. Kayla kept her eyes down on the carpet. Tig held out his hand, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, but one way or the other you're going to detox. What's it gonna be doll?"

Kayla reached up letting him take her hand. She wasn't stupid enough to think she could out run the two of them. Happy walked behind them as Tig led them to the van. Tig tossed Happy the keys, while he crawled in back with her. None of them said anything on the trip to the clubhouse.

Tig and Happy walked her back to Jax's dorm room. Tig had cleared it out before he left. Making sure there was nothing she could get a hold of in there. He also had the prospects working on locking up all the booze in the clubhouse. Chibs had started making calls letting everyone know that the clubhouse was off limits until further notice.

Kayla sat down on the bed as Tig walked into the bathroom, making sure there were enough towels. When he walked back out Happy looked at him, "Now what do we do?"

Tig sighed, "You don't have to stay for this man, it's gonna be bad. She's higher than a kite, aren't you doll?"

Kayla glared at Tig, "Fuck you."

Tig pursed his lips together and walked over to her, pointing at her, "That's enough out of you for tonight. Once a junkie always a junkie, right?" Tig knew what he was doing; he didn't want Kayla to explode on happy so he was drawing her out, making her freak on him. It would wear her out and she would sleep, hopefully until Kozic got there.

Kayla flew at him, hitting and clawing, "Don't fucking call me that! After all I've taken for this fucking club. You son of a bitch! I hate you."

Tig caught her pulling her arms around her; she thrashed and screamed at him. Happy just stood near the door in shock. Kayla started kicking Tig, "FUCK YOU! SAMCRO made me this way!"

Tig looked over at Happy, "Get her fucking legs."

When Happy grabbed her legs, she went crazy, spitting trying to get away from them. They got her to the bed; Tig had her arms while Happy held her legs. It felt like forever, but she started to settle down. Tig looked down at her, "We're gonna let you go, but you have to stop this SHIT."

Kayla just nodded. Tig nodded to Happy and he let her legs go, as he eased off the bed Tig did the same thing with her arms. She curled up on the bed facing away from them. She cuddled with a pillow, quietly sobbing as she rocked back and forth.

Happy was grateful when she finally fell asleep. He and Tig sat watching her, afraid to leave her. Kozic walked in and looked at Kayla then at them, "SHIT."

Tig and Happy stood up, "Yeah, it's bad man."

Kozic nodded, "How long was she using?"

Tig sighed, "At least a month. Hap found a bottle of whiskey, several bottles of perocerts, and some weed."

Kozic nodded, "Well let's wake her ass up and see what else she's been using."

Kozic walked over to the bed and sat down, he slowly shook her. Kayla opened her eyes and scooted away from him, her back against the headboard. Kozic stood. He, Happy, and Tig all stood around the bed their arms crossed. Kozic looked at her, "What have you been using?"

Kayla fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, her buzz was wearing off. "Perocerts."

Kozic grunted, "Pills, snorting, or injection, or all."

Kayla huffed, "I only snorted a few times."

Kozic stepped closer to the bed, "How many times? Like ever time? Needed the quick high right?"

Kayla rolled her eyes, "You know about the quick high won't you? Why don't we talk about the time you got high and Tig's dog got killed, because you were fucked up. You did crank, I just do what the doctor gave me."

Kozic smiled, shaking his head, "This isn't about me, Kayla, and you know that. This is about you. I'm clean, you're not. What about the weed?"

Kayla stared at him, "Oh come on you all do it!"

Kozic shook his head, "I don't fucking do it! Just because some asshole jumps off a bridge doesn't mean you should. What about the Jack? You doing that a lot and don't lie. I'll have Happy go to every fucking store in town that sells and find out!"

Kayla looked at Happy, "I won't want to put the big bald bastard out."

Happy wanted to rip her tits off! Who the fuck did she think she was? He was doing this for her own good. Tig put a hand on his chest, "Easy brother, that's the drugs talking."

Kayla laughed, "Fuck you Tig, how do you know? Maybe the drugs just let me say what I've wanted to say forever! You know I'm just sad I didn't fucking overdose."

Tig kept his hand on Happy's chest. Kozic sat down on the bed grabbing her arms and shaking her, "That's fucking enough! Now we are going to do this. You can hate us all you want, but let's face it kid, we're all you got! Us three love you more than anyone else in your fucked up life and we will make sure you get clean. Now I'd shut your mouth, until your sober."

Kayla just stared at him. Her eyes drifting to the floor, she sat there silent. She was fucked and she knew it.

Tig got on the phone and found out that she hadn't been eating much, so he had Gemma bring over some soup. Juice set up a television in her room, while Kozic sat with her. Happy had gone for a walk, at Tig's urging, saying that the worst was yet to come. Though Happy didn't know how much worse it could get. When he got back to the room, Kayla had a bowl of soup in front of her and Kozic had the football game on.

Kozic turned to look at her, "Eat that and I'll let you pick what we watch."

Kayla didn't say anything she just sat there, staring into the soup. Tig finally got her to eat some. When her head started bobbing back and forth he looked at Happy. "Get on the bed behind her. It will help calm her to sleep. When she wakes up she's gonna start the sweats and the vomiting as the drugs work thru her system."

Happy just nodded. He lay down behind her wrapping his arms around her. Tig sat in a chair next to the bed, his eyes glued on the television. Kayla stared at Tig, her head was getting clearly and now her anger was replaced with sadness, she was ashamed of herself, her voice was quiet. "Tig?"

Tig looked down at her, "Yeah peanut?"

Kayla felt tears welling in her eyes, "There's pills in the bottom of my deodorant. I'm sorry I didn't tell you Happy."

Happy let out a long sigh, he kissed her head, "It's alright La."

Happy watched as Tig went into the bathroom and took apart deodorant, underneath the stick was a handful of pills. He held them up showing Kozic. Kozic went around to Kayla's side of the bed; he stared at her now sleeping form, "Flush them." Tig nodded, throwing the pills into the toilet and flushing.

If Happy thought the first few hours were hell, the last twenty four had been super hell. Kayla went from burning up to being cold, she shook when she stood, and then the vomiting started. The worst part was how much she cried, she kept telling them all how sorry she was and how she wasn't worth the trouble. They worked in silence most the time, helping her from place to place. Jax and Gemma had stopped by but only to get chased away by Tig, who said this fell on all of them, none of them had been watching the signs.

Once the sweats had stopped and she had finally kept some food down. Kayla sat looking very pale on the edge of the bed, Happy was looking thru a bike magazine. Kayla stared at him, "Hap?"

Happy looked up at her, "What you need La?"

Kayla looked toward the bathroom, "I want to clean up."

Happy nodded, standing up. Kayla waved him away with a soft smile, "Don't worry, I can do this."

Kayla sat trying to steady herself; she was weak, and exhausted. She felt like she could sleep for a week, she made her way over to the shower and turned on the water. Once she stripped down she stepped into the shower, the hot water making her head spin. She thought she might pass out when one of Happy's large ringed hands went around her waist, "I got ya, La."

She just nodded as he stood behind her, boots and all. She started crying, hard, she had screwed everything up; she didn't deserve a man like him. Happy turned her so she was resting against his chest, she sobbed harder, "I'm so sorry. I'll understand if you don't want me around. I've fucked up…"

Happy sighed as he watched her try to tell him that he didn't have to stick around. He gently brushed his lips against her, he stared into her eyes, "I ain't going anywhere La. You know who I am, what I do, and you still want me around. So stop fucking talking like that. Just don't do this shit again, you're gonna work the meetings and go to that counselor. You hear me?"

Kayla nodded at him; letting her head rest on his chest, maybe just maybe she could do this.

**Oh man that was one hell of a chapter to write. I hope you enjoyed this. The next two chapters will be much lighter! I promise! Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following! The response has blown me away! Have a great weekend! Hugs, Kaye **


	10. A Murder of Crows

Chapter 10….A Murder of Crows

**As I promised, the next few chapters are going to be much, much more fluffy. I'm doing a three month time jump putting us around the holidays. Zobelle is still out there and the guys are having trouble with Jimmy O. Happy is on the road a lot helping Quinn, but he is still SAMCRO. Now I didn't say things were all rosy and perfect in Kayla Happy land. Happy hasn't been behaving. Anyone who knows about the twelve step program knows that one part of that is dedicating yourself to a period of no sex, well that is weighing heavily on Happy. Now I think how Kayla handles this is entertaining, so don't get too upset…she's got this.**

**Thank you thank you for all the wonderful reviews! I'm glad you are liking this one! As per some requests I am planning on a small fic about Quinn and Karla. I'm hoping to get that posted soon. Ok on with the story**** Hope your weekend is great, enjoy the ride! Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy ran a tired hand over his head as he opened the door to their house. It had been three months since SAMCRO detox had cleared all the shit out of Kayla's system. She had been good to her word, working the twelve steps, going to the counselor, and focusing on work. She had been working with Chibs almost every morning, the doctor had said she had some buried anger issues, so boxing a little was helping. Happy was proud of her, but they hadn't had sex yet. That part was fucking killing him. He had been on the road a lot and he was ashamed to say he was taking ever advantage of it. He felt guilty getting blowjobs from croweaters, but Kayla knew the rules, what happens on a run stays on a run. What made matters worse was the fact that he had to hide it from Quinn.

Quinn like Tig and Kozic was very protective over Kayla and Happy knew if Quinn found out he was getting his dick sucked well he might end of dead. But it was better than forcing Kayla to do something she wasn't ready for yet, or at least that was what he told himself. He had only fucked two women since being with Kayla, one a croweater on the road and one was one of Luann's girls at a Caracara wrap party, it was always after a few peculiarly bloody kills, he needed the outlet. He wasn't planning on continuing when Kayla started giving up, he was more than happy with her fine ass little body, but for now the croweaters were an easy fix to the situation.

He hadn't really wanted to live with her, but after the detox, Kozic had transferred to Charming and he and Tig had agreed that Kayla needed them. Tig, Kayla, and Kozic had found a beautiful three bedroom ranch. Kayla had taken the master suite upstairs, saying she wanted to be as far from Tig and Koz's bedrooms as humanly possible. At first Happy would stay just a night here or there, but the further into her counseling she got the worse her nightmares got. One night after a really bad one, Happy had brought his shit from the clubhouse back. Kayla never said a word; she just smiled at him while he unpacked his stuff.

Now standing in their room and looking down at her sleeping form, he felt like shit. He jumped into the shower hoping the water would help ease his guilt. When he crawled into bed with her, she wrapped herself around him snuggling into his chest, "You're home."

He took a deep breath letting her vanilla body spray invade his senses, "Miss you, La."

Kayla smirked into his chest, "I missed you too big man."

Happy smirked, "Just how much have you missed me?"

Kayla looked up at him. Damn his girl looked beautiful, her face flush with sleep, her hair a mess. Kayla leaned closer to him, kissing him softly, "A Lot, I missed you a lot."

Happy growled as she rolled her hips into him, he grabbed her hips, "La, don't start shit we can't finish."

Kayla frowned as she rolled over, "But I'm ready!"

Happy chuckled as he pulled her flush against his chest, "I know. You better fucking believe when the doc says it's cool, I'm gonna fuck you all over this god damn house. But we need to wait, you being clean is more important."

Kayla huffed and pouty, he couldn't see her face, but he knew she was pouting, "I know Hap, I just have needs and so do you! How the hell are you being so calm about this waiting shit?"

Happy felt a pang of guilt at her words, he sighed, "Go to sleep La, I'll be here in the morning."

Kayla sighed snuggling into him close, "Hap?"

Happy groaned, "Yeah, La?"

Kayla was quiet for a minute, "I love you."

Happy smiled kissing the back of her head, she had never said that to him before and the words were fucking awesome to hear, "Me too, La. Go to sleep." As she hugged onto his arm he laid there wide awake, the shit he had been doing was wrong. He promised himself that he won't let it happen anymore. He knew if she found out she would walk away and he won't blame her. The thought of her with someone else, made him crazy. He needed to stop his bullshit and focus on his girl. He let out a sigh trying to will himself to sleep; when it came it was restful.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla would've rather scooped her eyes out with spoons over helping her mother with Thanksgiving Day shopping. The woman had to have enough food to feed a small army. Kayla had spent over three hours pushing carts behind her crazy ass mother as she filled up the carts with everything from turkey to cranberry sauce to some weird looking sausage for Chibs. She was so glad when her mother had finally declared them finished. While they were loading up the SUV, her mother had realized she forgot something, leaving Kayla to load the groceries alone.

She had been stupid; she left her purse sitting in one of the carts and as she moved back and forth. She had just loaded the last of the turkeys, when she rounded the corner of the SUV she saw a tall blond woman in a bad suit smirking at her. Kayla knew right away who she was, Agent June Stahl, Kayla sighed walking back to the carts.

Stahl extended her hand, "Miss Teller, I've been trying to find the right time to have a chat, Agent Stahl, ATF."

Kayla looked at her hand and then her, "I know who you are. I'm sorry but I have to get these groceries loaded, it's the holidays. I'm sure you have a family to rush off to, seeing as tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I won't want to hold you up." Kayla grabbed a few more bags of groceries and headed back to the SUV. When she came back toward the SUV a few more agents had appeared.

Stahl smirked, "Miss Teller, I really need to have a chat with you. We can do this the easy way or the embarrassing way."

Kayla saw her mother walk out of the store, Gemma's mouth set in a hard line, "Well Agent Stahl what can we do for you?"

Stahl smiled at Gemma, "I was just arresting your daughter."

Kayla stared at her, "For what?"

Stahl reached into Kayla's purse and pulled out a syringe, "Tsk, tsk, a drug habit is a hard thing to shake. Boys take Miss Teller into custody."

The two men in suits put Kayla up against the SUV, Kayla stared over at her mother, "Mom I didn't! I'm clean, I've never done needles, this is a mistake."

Gemma couldn't believe this ATF bitch would use her daughter's drug problem like this. Gemma looked at Kayla, "Baby I know, don't worry I'll call Rosen. We'll get you out. It's gonna be fine."

Stahl chuckled as the two suits walked Kayla to their car, "Happy Thanksgiving Mrs. Morrow."

Gemma got on her phone right away, Tig answered on the second ring, "Gem, how's my dinner coming?"

Gemma sighed, "Tiggie, our girls in trouble. Stahl planted a syringe in her purse; they just took her away in handcuffs."

Tig stood up at the clubhouse bar, "What the fuck?" Gemma started filling him in, telling him that the look on Kayla's face told her she hadn't been using. Tig reassured Gemma that Kayla had been taking voluntary piss test every week and she was clean. By the time they got off the phone Miles and Rat had showed up helping Gemma finish loading the groceries. Tig was on his way to the police station and Jax was having Rosen meet them there.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla sat in the dull beige interrogation room, drumming her fingers on the table. Since she had been brought in, two hours ago, no one had spoken to her. She felt sick inside, she had heard stories about Stahl and seen her around, but she had never met her in person. She knew that blond bitch had planted the syringe in her purse. She sighed running a hand over her face, this was bullshit. Just as she was getting ready to put her feet up on the table to settle in, the door opened and Agent Stahl walked in.

Stahl smiled at her, "Sorry for the wait, my people wanted to check the drugs you had on you, which turned out to be saline water."

Kayla just glared at her, "Then I'm free to go?"

Stahl leaned back staring at her, "You know I get it, I really do. You were born into this life, you didn't have a choice. I ran your record, besides a few speeding tickets, you have never been in trouble with the law. Almost all the other women involved with the club have been arrested at least once. But you, you are clean, so to speak. Besides your little drug problem, which it looks like you kicked six years ago, you seemed to have a good life. You went to college, had a good job in Colorado, why did you come back Miss Teller?"

Kayla balled up her fists, she wanted to slug this bitch, but she knew to control herself, "I wanted to be with my family."

Stahl nodded, "And Mr. Lowman? That's your old man right? See I'm not up on all the MC jargon, but you're his old lady right?"

Kayla just stared at her; she wasn't giving this bitch anything. "I know Mr. Lowman."

Stahl laughed, "In the biblical sense?" Kayla just glared at her, Stahl leaned back toying with a file in her hands, "Well then if you're not seeing him these photos won't mean much to you then."

Stahl opened the file and began laying photos across the table. Kayla stared at them; she could tell they had been taken over months. They showed Happy with several different women, most of them were taken outside. The one that killed her was one of Happy fucking a pretty blond from behind. Kayla knew the place, it was Caracara and she knew the blond, it was Ima one of Luann's girls.

Kayla dug her nails into her leg; she smiled up at Stahl, "Are we done here?"

Stahl just stood up and gestured toward the door, "You are free to go, it was good chatting with you. Happy Thanksgiving Miss Teller."

Kayla stopped at the door, "You'll excuse me when I tell you to go to hell."

As Kayla came out of the door Chief Unser came up to her, "Kayla are you alright? Half the damn club is out front waiting on you."

Kayla shook her head, "I'm nowhere near alright."

Stahl came up behind her, "Oh Miss Teller you forgot your pictures."

Stahl slapped them into Kayla's hand and walked away with a smug look on her face. Unser saw the photo on top of Happy and Ima, "Oh Jesus Kayla, I'm so sorry."

Kayla shook her head, when she looked up at Unser he saw Gemma Teller looking back at him, "Not half as sorry as that asshole will be."

When Kayla finally hit the lobby her mother and Tig were at her side in a second. Tig put his arm around her, "Hey peanut you alright?"

Gemma kissed her cheek, "Oh baby I'm so sorry. What did that bitch want?"

Kayla just shook her head, "Let's just get out of here. We'll talk at home."

Unser motioned to Gemma; Gemma looked at Tig and Kayla, "I'll be right out. Tig put her in my car."

Tig nodded, "Sure thing Gem."

Gemma walked toward Unser, "Wayne this better be good."

Unser sighed, "Gemma I wanted to warn you that Stahl gave Kayla a stack of photos of Happy. In these photos he was with other women. You might want to keep an eye on her."

Gemma put her hands on her hips, "Well shit! That fucking ATF cunt! Alright Wayne, I'll see you at dinner tomorrow."

When Tig walked Kayla outside the first person she saw leaning against his bike was Happy. She narrowed her eyes at him as he walked toward her, "What the fuck is going on?"

Kayla stayed under Tig's arm, Tig just chuckled, "ATF bitch is just showing us her dick again. Everything's cool. Right peanut?"

Happy stared at her; he could tell by the look on her face that everything was not COOL. He went to reach for her, "La, you…."

Kayla slapped at his hand, "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME." She pulled away from Tig and stormed over to her mother's car getting in and slamming the door.

Tig and Happy just stared at her. Tig looked at Happy, "What the fuck did you do? She never gets pissed like that."

Happy shook his head, "I have no fucking clue."

Gemma pushed past the two of them, "Where's your dick been lately Happy?"

Happy's face went pale watching the SAMCRO queen get into her car and peel out of the police station. Tig turned to him, "EXPLAIN!"

**-Hard to Love-**

The drive back to Gemma's was quiet. Kayla had just stared out the window, Gemma could feel the rage rolling off her daughter, she hadn't seen her like that since the day she told her she was marrying Clay. When they got back to the house, Kayla went right to her car, but her mother stopped her, "Kayla talk to me."

Kayla spun on her heel staring at her mother, her words coming out thru gritted teeth, "I'm not one of you! I'm not some little stand by your man while he goes out fucking everything with two sets of lips."

Gemma sighed, "Kayla you know the rule, what happens on a run stays on a run."

Kayla took a step closer to her mother, "THAT'S BULLSHIT AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT! I won't be made a fool! He's gonna learn to be with me, he's gonna have to give up those fucking shanks!"

Gemma grabbed her daughter's wrist, "What are you gonna do? This is Happy not some wet behind the ears prospect. You gonna beat him up, killer?"

Kayla laughed, "Not him. But he'll learn."

Kayla got in her car and peeled out of the driveway headed toward her house. She needed to think.

**-Hard to Love-**

When Kayla got home she went straight to her room, only coming down for drinks. Tig and Kozic did their best to stay out of her way. When they did talk to her she snapped at them, telling them to mind their own damn business.

Kayla had texted Happy earlier, it was short and sweet, _Don't fucking think about coming home._ Happy had read that text message at least five times. He just sighed and headed into the clubhouse. For once in his life he didn't feel safe in Charming. Quinn had warned him, there's nothing worse than a pissed off old lady and know Happy knew why.

**-Hard to Love-**

When Kayla woke the next morning she had a small hop in her step. She smiled as she came down the stairs. Kozic had his new girl down from Tacoma for the holiday, Simone. Simone was a dark haired free spirit that ran her own new age shop. Kayla really liked her; she was smart and kept Kozic on his toes. When Kayla walked into the kitchen Tig and Kozic kept their heads down.

Simone smirked at her, "Feeling better today?"

Kayla sighed leaning across the counter, "Right as rain. I'll see you all at dinner. Better get to mom's to help with the prep work." She walked around the table kissing Tig and then Kozic. She hugged Simone, grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and smiled as she went out the door.

Tig looked at Kozic, "Am I the only one unnerved by that shit?"

Kozic shivered, "I think shits going down today. Maybe we should order pizza."

Simone laughed, "Nah, she won't ruin the holiday. That boys was a woman with a plan. Feel sorry for your friend Herman."

As Simone walked into the bedroom Tig grinned at Kozic, "Does she call you Herman during sex?"

Kozic got up, "Shut the fuck up." It was going to be a long day.

**-Hard to Love-**

When Happy walked into the Teller-Morrow house he was ready for a turkey to fly at his head. Instead Kayla walked up and hugged him handing him a beer, "Happy Thanksgiving."

Happy didn't know what to think; he leaned down and kissed her, "I'm so sorry La."

Kayla flinched just for a second and Happy saw that the way she was acting was just that an act. She put the smile back on her face, "Let's just have a nice day." She turned around and went back to work in the kitchen.

Happy came in and sat down with the rest of the men in the living room. Tig and Kozic smirked at him. He just stared at the television set; he didn't know what the hell to say. He downed his beer, hoping that this dinner would get the fuck over and he could talk to her in private.

Tig was vibrating on the couch, he was pissed at Happy for hurting his girl, but confused that the girl was cutting him so much slack. He grinned at Happy, "You know with as nice as she being I'd worry your foods poisoned." Tig and Kozic roared with laughter at the look on Happy's face, he hadn't thought of that.

Gemma came in seconds later, "Food's ready, let's eat!" Happy swallowed hard.

Dinner went fine; Kayla sat next to Happy talking mostly to Tig and Kozic. When he reached over to squeeze her leg, she wanted to slap his hand, hell she wanted to stuff a whole turkey down his lying throat, but that would be too easy. She just smiled at him and continued talking to Tig and Kozic.

When it was time to go home, he stood like a fucking pussy at the door not sure where he was supposed to go for the night. Gemma handed him a bag of leftovers, "Take this to the car for her will you?" Happy nodded; when he got outside he lit up a smoke and leaned against her car.

Gemma stopped her daughter, before she left, "What's the game plan?"

Kayla's face broke out into a large smile, "Whatever do you mean mommy?"

Gemma huffed, "Don't pull that shit on me, and you haven't called me mommy since you were six. What the hell are you up too?"

Kayla kissed her mother's cheek, "Don't worry mom, I got this. It won't ever happen again when I'm done with him."

When Kayla got out to her car she took a deep breath. Happy flicked his cigarette butt and stood up straight, "Hey."

Kayla crossed her arms over her chest, "Hey."

Happy stared at her, "Was wondering if I can come home tonight?"

Kayla stared at him for a few minutes, "Well it's your home too."

Happy sighed, closing the distance to her, his hands going to her arms, gently stroking her, "La, please talk to me."

Kayla had to use every ounce of self control not to explode on him, that would not prove her point. She stared up at him, "I'll see you at home." She got up on her tip toes and kissed his nose. She smiled at him sweetly as she got into the car.

Happy wasn't sure what he'd rather face, ten Mayans or his one pissed off old lady. He hung his head and got on his bike heading home.

Kayla smirked when she heard the door open to their bedroom. She made sure she had on his favorite little yellow nightgown, it was almost sheer with little flower designs on it. She was sitting on the bed reading when he came in and took off his knife and put it on the dresser. She smiled up at him, "Hey. I beat you home."

Happy sighed putting his kutte on her desk chair, "Yeah just went for a quick ride to clear my head. Can we just do this?"

Kayla bit the insides of her cheeks to keep from laughing; he looked like a toddler that had his hand stuck in the cookie jar. She looked up at him coyly, "What do you want to talk about?"

Happy sat down on the bed hard, "The fucking pictures. Just get it out. This being nice to me shit is driving me nuts and you're wearing that god damn night gown. What the fuck Kayla?"

Kayla just smirked at him moving toward him on her knees, she started to rub his shoulders, "I understand baby. What happens on a run right? Why don't you just relax?" She kissed the back of his neck, slowly feeling him relax under her touch, she brought her lips to his ear, "You're wearing too many clothes big man."

Happy chuckled, "The doc hasn't cleared you yet, La. And we need to talk this shit out."

Kayla spun around him sitting in his lap smiling at him, "She cleared me the day that Stahl took me in. Now why don't you shut that handsome mouth and fuck me."

He knew it was a trap, but damn having her in his lap, wearing that little yellow number was clouding his judgment. He growled as he slammed his mouth to hers.

Afterward Kayla waited till he was asleep, she laid there stroking his head, listening to him lightly snore. She lit a cigarette and stared at him, after tomorrow he would either keep his dick in his pants or be done with her. Either way she wasn't going to be fucking played like the other old ladies and Happy Lowman would know his old lady wasn't one to be fucked with. As she let out a puff of smoke she smirked in their dark bedroom, revenge was always fun.

**-Hard to Love-**

After Happy had left that morning Kayla pulled on her favorite pair of old jeans and a tight black tank top. She pulled on her boots she wore when she and Happy went on long rides and started wrapping her knuckles, Chibs had taught her well. She might never be a pro boxer, but hell she could hit now. She smiled at she pulled on a pair of black leather gloves. Her hair she pulled up in a tight pony tail, didn't want that to get pulled during her act of revenge. Her black leather jacket completed her look, as she stared at herself in the mirror she smiled.

When she went downstairs Simone was the only one up. The dark haired woman looked up at her and chuckled, "You're really going thru with it?" Simone had talked her down that first night helping her work thru the noise in her head and when the plan came together, it was Simone that suggested she fuck Happy just to show him what he was throwing away.

Kayla smiled, handing Simone her checkbook, "Keep your phone on. I'm sure I'm gonna need you to bail me out. Hope I don't get you in trouble."

Simone laughed, "Herman will fucking deal. If he wants his cock sucked, he'll live with me helping you."

Kayla hugged Simone, "You're good for him. Keeps him on his toes."

A half hour later Kayla sat in the parking lot of Caracara, when Ima's car pulled in with the cum princess she adjusted her gloves. By the time she got out of the car, Ima had disappeared inside. Kayla walked into Caracara and walked toward Luann who smiled when she walked up, "Hey sweetie, what are you doing here?"

Kayla smiled hugging the woman, "I need a big favor."

Luann smiled, "Anything sweetie."

Kayla looked toward the office where she could see Bobby working on the books, "Is Bobby the only one here today?"

Luann nodded, "Yeah, Chibs and Juice won't be here for another hour or so."

Kayla nodded, "That's great. I need you to get Bobby out of the office for fifteen minutes."

Luann frowned, "What are you up to baby?"

Kayla smirked, "Better if you don't know. Just do me this favor, please. One old lady to another."

Luann sighed, "This is about those pictures isn't it?"

Kayla smiled, "Please Luann."

Luann sighed, "Alright I'll get him out of here, but I swear if I get blow back from this."

Kayla hugged her, "You won't I swear. Just get him out of here."

Luann disappeared into the office. Kayla stayed in the bathroom waiting for Luann to give her the all clear. Luann returned fifteen minutes later, "He's gone. I'm leaving too. I have a feeling I don't want to be here for this. Was it Ima?"

Kayla just smiled, "Where's her dressing room?"

Luann sighed, "I'll have her come out here. Just try to take it outside and you know the other girls will probably call the cops right?"

Kayla smirked, "I'm counting on it."

Kayla sat near the door waiting on Ima. Luann true to her word had scrambled out of the building seconds after she told Ima she needed her on set. When Ima walked out she had a little silk robe on and fuck me white heels. Kayla laughed; this was going to be too easy.

Ima huffed, "Where the fuck is Luann?"

Kayla stood up taking off her leather, "Luann's gone, I wanted to talk to you about her pussy staying away from my old man."

Ima rolled her eyes, "You're Happy's little cunt aren't you?"

Kayla smiled, "Yeah, I am. And I believe you fucked my man. Am I right?"

Ima put her hands on her hips moving into Kayla's face, "So what if I did bitch? You can't keep him happy, he's gonna get it where he can. It's only a matter of time before he comes running to me on a full time basis."

By now they had a small crowd of Luann's other girls. Kayla smirked, "You can't fuck what's dead." Her fist connected with Ima's jaw. The bitch stumbling back. Kayla was on her, she half drug her out the door into the Caracara parking lot. Ima kicked her in the stomach with her heel throwing Kayla back. Ima was a crying bloody mess as she tried to make it to her car.

Kayla saw Bobby drop two coffees, "Shit, Kayla!" He tried to grab her but she advanced on Ima knocking her to the ground pulling her hair and punching her a few more times in the face. Kayla heard the sirens, but she didn't stop. She just kept hitting, until one of Unser's guys pulled her off Ima, who was crying and clinging to one of the female officers. Kayla smirked as they cuffed her and sat her down hard on the ground.

**-Hard to Love-**

When Bobby called Happy he could hear Kayla kicking the shit out of Ima in the background. He grabbed Tig and Kozic as they made their way to Caracara. When he pulled his bike in. He couldn't believe his girl; she was sitting on the ground cuffed with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth glaring at Ima.

Ima was leaning against the cop car, with a towel to her face. Damn he knew she was pissed, but damn. He walked over and knelt down in front of her, "What the fuck, La?"

Kayla didn't look at him; her eyes were still fixed on Ima. Ima saw Happy and couldn't help herself, "Happy! Thank God you're here. She's crazy, she tried to kill me."

When Happy stood up and turned to look at Ima, Kayla saw it as her opportunity; she jumped up and launched herself at Ima. The two of them flying over the cop car landing in a heap on the other side. Kayla got up and began stomping Ima in the chest, "FUCKING GET A PORN JOB NOW WITH YOUR IMPLANTS BUSTED, BITCH!"

Happy was frozen for a minute; there was no way in hell that this was his girl. She was fucking crazy. He ran around the other side of the cop car and grabbed her by the waist pulling her off of Ima. "KNOCK IT OFF!"

Happy was pulled from her as the two male officers slammed Kayla against the cop car, cuffing her from behind, Happy was pissed, they were man handling her, "Get your fucking hands off her."

Tig and Kozic pulled him back. Tig growling at him, "Stay the fuck out of this bro, this is chick shit."

Happy watched as the female cop pulled Ima off the ground, the porn star now a bloody crying mess that was holding her chest, screaming, "She busted my implant, oh god, that crazy bitch!"

Kayla laughed, "Hey Ima, I'll see you real soon!"

Ima recoiled behind the female cop as Kayla was pushed into the cop car. Happy looked at Tig and Kozic, "FUCK! What's wrong with her?"

As the car pulled out Kayla glared at Happy flipping him the bird. Tig slapped Happy on the back, "Oh man she's not pissed, she's fucking furious."

Kozic laughed, "I've never seen her like this. Man you're lucky she didn't smother you in your sleep last night."

**-Hard to Love-**

True to her word Simone bailed Kayla out and took her home. When she got there she packed up all of Happy's stuff and set it on the curb. She texted him, _You're right I am pissed, better pick up your shit before the trash guys do._

Happy had been sitting at the clubhouse getting his ass handed to him by ever member, even the prospects were making fun of his stupidity and Happy Lowman hated feeling like a chimp. Unser had told them, that Kayla didn't want bailed out and they could pick her up the following morning. So when his phone went off he was surprised. He growled reading her text, he texted her back, _Not fucking getting rid of me that easy La._

Kayla felt like her fingers were going to break the keyboard she was texting so hard, _Come near this bedroom and I'll shot you! _

Happy looked up and saw Tig watching him intently, Happy sighed, "Can I crash on the couch tonight?"

Tig looked at him for a minute, "She's giving you an out man. She's letting you walk away. She doesn't have any ink and today she proved she won't take any shit. I would say the next guy that fucks with Kayla will think twice before cheating on her, SON or not."

Happy growled, "There isn't gonna be anyone else."

Tig chuckled, "Well good luck with that, but if you fuck up this time I'll put a bullet thru your head, brother or not. And honestly when Quinn finds out, you might be fucking dead anyway."

Happy sighed, "He can fucking get in line, she threatened to fucking shot me if I came near our room. She said my shit is on the curb."

Tig smiled leaning back in his chair, "That's my girl."

When they got back to the house, he sighed seeing his shit sitting on the curb. He sighed carrying everything into the garage. He'd be damned if she was just going to throw him away. He sighed that night as he lay down on the couch, Simone had been running back and forth upstairs, but he hadn't seen Kayla. When he asked Kozic if she was alright, Kozic just shook his head, "She won't stop fucking crying man. Just leave her alone." Happy had fucked up, this old lady thing sucked and to make things worse Tig had taken great joy in telling him that Quinn was on his way down. The last thought that Happy had that night was, fuck my life.

**Ok, there you go! A SAMCRO thanksgiving! Do your thing! Your reviews, follows, and favorites rock my world**** Kaye**


	11. The Hardest Part

Chapter 11…..The Hardest Part

**LOL….Thank you so much for loving this one! I know a few of you were mad about how the guys screw around, well that's straight from the show, I won't be able to handle that, I would end up on the show 'Snapped'. I know a few of you asked why I had her sleep with him before she went after Ima. She wanted him to have it fresh in his mind what he lost, not the best reason, but I think that Kayla needed it as saying good bye to him. She doesn't care about the crow, the crow is just a symbol to her, she wants HIM, all of him. She wants him to either commit or walk away.**

**Ok, well here we go again….teehee….I really kind of feel bad for Happy this chapter, almost. Enjoy the ride. Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy woke up with the worse stiff neck of his life; he pulled himself off the couch and groaned. As he rolled his neck back and forth he heard noise above him, he knew it must early if La was still home. Almost on cue, she made her way down the stairs, her bag over her shoulder. He stood up almost chasing her out to her car; he grabbed her wrist, "Fucking stop! We need to talk."

Kayla had hoped that she would be able to get out of the house that morning without seeing him. When he grabbed her wrist the anger started bubbling up in her again, she turned to him glaring a hole through his head, "Let go."

Happy growled, pulling her closer to him, "You're pissed I get that, but this shit has to stop. I'm not letting you go La. You're mine and I'm yours, period."

Kayla laughed, pulling her wrist from his grasp, "That's funny, because if memory serves me right you belong to almost every whore on the West coast." She took a few steps toward him, "Maybe I need to go screw around a little, you think you're the only dick that wants in me?"

Happy grabbed her arms, pinning her against the wall, he spoke through clenched teeth, "NOT GONNA FUCKING HAPPEN!"

Tig had heard them and came stumbling out of the bedroom, "What the fuck is going on? It's too god damn early. Happy let her go, Kayla get your ass to school."

Kayla pushed Happy away from her and headed out the door, a few seconds later Happy heard her tires squeal down the street. Tig lit a smoke and stared at him. Happy just sighed going to get ready for work. He figured he had at least a few hours he could get in before Quinn got there.

**-Hard to Love-**

The morning had just gotten worse, while Happy was doing an oil change the prospect poured the oil in before Happy got the plug in and he was covered in oil. Tig and Chibs had laughed their asses off watching Happy pick up Rat by the throat. When he calmed down he went into the clubhouse to hunt for a clean shirt. He was changing when he heard the door close behind him. Happy turned and sighed, Quinn just nodded to him.

Happy threw the shirt on the bed knowing there was no use in dirtying another shirt. Happy looked at Quinn, "I know you feel you have to do this man, but she has already done enough."

Quinn cracked his knuckles and cracked his neck from side to side, "Don't fucking care, I told you, you hurt her and I'd come for you, brother or not."

Happy straightened up, glaring at Quinn, "You want to fuck her something? You sure seem to care an awful lot."

Quinn smirked at Happy, he was on him before Happy knew what to do, Happy felt the dresser up against his back as Quinn rammed him into it. Happy punched Quinn in the back trying to get the big man to release his bear hug on him. When Happy finally connected with one of Quinn's kidneys he watched the big man drop to one knee. Happy stood with his fists up; Quinn pulled a bitch move and grabbed Happy's leg pulling him to the floor, his head hitting the edge of a chair.

Quinn was on top of him, punch after punch connecting, Happy could taste blood in his mouth and he was damn sure his nose was broken, and probably a few ribs. Finally Jax and Chibs came in breaking the two up. Quinn sat on the floor across from Happy, both men out of breath. Happy's left eyebrow was bleeding from one of Quinn's rings, his nose was a mess, there was blood running down his face. Happy held onto his ribs. Quinn had blood running down into his beard from his mouth, and he was holding his back.

Jax sighed looking at the two men, "I'll call Tara." Jax looked at Happy, "Should I call my sister?" Happy just shook his head no, trying to catch his breath.

Chibs watched Jax leave and he pointed at the two men, "Now can I leave you two ladies alone? Or do I need to have the prospects carry one of your asses out of here?"

Quinn waved Chibs away, "We're good now." Chibs nodded leaving the two men to glare at each other.

Happy spit blood on the floor, "Why the fuck do you care so god damn much?"

Quinn sighed, "She helped me, when I fucked up like this with Karla, Kayla was the one that got her to give me a second chance. If it won't be for Kayla, little Anna never would've been born. You don't know what kind of pain you feel when you lose something like that. I've been trying to keep you from losing her. Remember that Mayan shoot out in Tuscon?"

Happy nodded, "Yeah what the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

Quinn looked at him, "My head was so fucked up, about Karla. She just left and took off to Florida, she didn't even tell Kozic where she was. It was the only time I ever got shot. They fuck with your head, when you're with them you worry all the fucking time about keeping them safe, fuck just keeping them with you drives you nuts. You see other guys staring at them and it rips you up inside, they make you have fear. For guys like us we don't do fear, we are the things that people fear. Then you get this soft, delicate thing that twists you up and it scares the shit out of you. I owe her for Karla, but I owe you my life from that night in Tucson. I hope you'll keep your shit about you now. I don't want to fucking do this again; I'm getting too old for this shit."

Happy just stared at Quinn, "Do you think she'll forgive me?"

Quinn sighed standing up with a groan, "I have no idea. But I know she needs space, I already asked Jax; he said you can come with me. Put some space between the two of you; give her time to cool down. That shit she pulled with the porn star, is just her letting her anger come to the surface for once. Think about my offer, I could use you out there right now."

After Quinn left Happy pulled himself into the bathroom, he looked at his face and winced. Quinn had been true to his word and fucked him up. Maybe some time apart would be good for the two of them, but he needed to talk to her first.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy sat on the couch waiting for her, he knew she would be home anytime now. His hands fisted in his lap, when he heard her car pull up, he just hoped that she won't scream at him this time.

When Kayla walked into the living room, she smirked at him, "Saw Quinn?"

Happy stood up, nodding his head, "He was a little pissed off at me. That why you beat up Ima instead of me? Figured Quinn could get the job done better?"

Kayla shrugged, throwing her bag down on the nearby chair, "What do you want Happy?"

Happy put his hands in his pockets and moved closer to her, "I wanted to tell you, that Jax is sending me out with Quinn for a few weeks. I'm giving you my word on my kutte, that I'm not gonna screw around while I'm gone. I'm with you, La. I just hope you're still with me." He took a few steps closer to her, "I'll see ya then."

Kayla just nodded, not saying anything. When Happy was gone, she went to her bedroom, sitting on her bed, she quietly let the tears fall, what was she going to do now.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla couldn't get that fucking Christmas song out of her head. As far as she was concerned this whole holly jolly bullshit was for the birds this year. Happy had been gone for two weeks; he hadn't even called to check in. The only reason she knew he was safe was the fact that from time to time Tig would mention he spoke to him or Quinn. She was shoving a bagel in her mouth as she made her way to her faculty meeting. As she was going in the door of the teacher's lounge Norman the PE teacher was coming out and the two collided with Kayla dropping her notepad and her nose going straight into the cream cheese from her bagel.

Norman laughed offering her his hand, "Sorry, guess they need to get a stop light."

Kayla chuckled, picking up her note pad, "I guess. Did I miss the meeting?"

Norman smiled taking his finger he gently wiped the cream cheese from her nose, "Trying to save you from walking around like that all day."

Kayla blushed, "Thank you, God I'm a mess today."

Norman nodded, "Meeting's over you didn't miss much. The same old same old, testing coming up, see you after the holidays."

Kayla sighed, "Well at least that's over, I guess. I was trying to get grades entered in the computer and forget the time. Oh well I guess I can pack it up and head home."

Norman fell in next to her as she walked toward her room. Kayla smiled at him, "Well this is me."

Norman smiled, "I know someone told me you have a boyfriend, but would you like to get a cup of coffee? I noticed you at one of my AA meetings, thought maybe we could talk, get to know each other, unless your boyfriend would be pissed."

Kayla knew she should say no, but it was just coffee and to be honest she had been lonely the last few weeks, though she would never tell anyone that. Her mother had coined her, the shank ass kicker, so she didn't want to disappoint anyone by letting on that she missed him. "You know what, let me get my purse and we can grab that coffee."

Happy had been never been so happy to be back in Charming in his life. Not hearing her voice in two weeks had worn on him. So after he left Quinn at the clubhouse he made a bee line for the school. Tig had told him that Kayla was working late, finishing up stuff for the Christmas break. When he was rounded the corner on Main heading to the school he saw her car sitting on Starbucks. He was waiting on the light when he saw her come out of Starbucks heading toward a table. She was laughing and talking to some scrawny ass guy. He bit down the rage, telling himself his girl grew up here and talked to everyone. But his rage went on hyper drive when he watched her sit down at a table with the fucking douche bag. The light changed and he slowly buzzed by Starbucks glaring at her through his sunglasses.

Kayla swallowed hard when she saw him. He was pissed, well he could be pissed, she was having coffee not fucking anyone. She turned back to Norman, who was also staring at Happy. "So Kayla you grew up here what do you think of the MC?"

Kayla chuckled, "They're alright they help make Charming, well Charming."

Norman laughed sitting back, "I wish I would've known about them before I moved here. Seems to me their just a bunch of assholes on bikes."

Kayla had heard this her whole life, sometimes she couldn't help herself baiting someone into telling her how they really felt about SAMCRO before she told them who she really was. But she didn't need to today; she heard his boots on the pavement and knew this wasn't going to be good.

Happy had parked his bike; there was no way in hell she was going to sit there in broad daylight with some asshole, making him look like a fucking pussy. She turned around when he walked up behind her, his voice menacing, "Time to go home, La."

Kayla smiled at him, "I'm just having coffee with a colleague big man. I'll see you at home."

Happy growled, "Then I'll stay." He sat down next to Kayla throwing his arm over the back of her chair, glaring at the little asshole across from him.

Kayla could honestly say she never saw someone find a reason to leave quicker in their life. When Norman had left she turned to Happy who was smirking at her, "Really Hap? You are ridiculous, it was fucking coffee." She got up from the table and started walking toward her car.

Happy was hot on her heels, when she opened the door to her car, he spun her around pinning her against the car, he grinned at her his face inches from hers, "Did you miss me, La?" His hand going a little up her shirt so he could touch her bare skin.

Kayla smiled sweetly at him, "Jealous big man?"

Happy snorted, his thumb tracing a small pattern on her skin, "Nothing to be jealous about, I know you know who you belong to."

Kayla pushed him away, "Yeah myself." As she backed up the car, she saw him running to get to his bike. She had to get away from him, she knew that just two more seconds of him so close and touching her would do her in and she would give in to whatever he wanted. She couldn't let that happen.

She pulled her car into Teller-Morrow, smiling to herself, Tig would protect her. She got out of the car and made her way to the garage. Tig looked up at her from under the hood of a car, "Hey peanut what's going on?"

She walked over and hugged Tig, "Thought you might come with me to the mall. I know you need to get a present for my mom yet."

When Tig saw Happy pull his bike in he knew what she was doing. He wiped off his hands with a rag, "Alright doll, just give me a few ."

Kayla nodded standing at the bay door; she watched Happy come walking toward her. He leaned one hand on the garage next to her, invading her space, "Where ya think you're running to, La?"

Kayla put her hands on his chest trying to keep him at arm's length, "Don't start with me, I'm still pissed at you."

Happy traced a finger down her cheek, "Can't stay mad at me forever, La."

Kayla smirked leaning close to him, "Doesn't it worry you being away from me. Don't you worry what I do when you're not here? Tig and Kozic have been gone a lot. Won't take anything for me to pick up some young hot man and bring him back to the house and let him fuck my senseless in our bed."

Happy glared at her, "That's fucking bullshit and you know it. You wouldn't do that."

Kayla smirked, "The what if's is what hurts the most right? Know you know how I feel."

Happy glared at her, "I'm done with games Kayla, you want me gone I'm gone, you need to make some choices. You've proved your point, I get it, I fucked up and I'm sorry."

Kayla sighed, "I was always all in Happy. It's you that needs to make the choice, it's either me or the shanks, you can't have both. But don't wait too long to make up your mind, I might not be here when you finally get your head out of your ass."

Happy stood there watching her walk toward her car with Tig. So the ball was completely in his court. That was a no brainer, being without her was driving him crazy.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy had totally been ready to go to her that night, whatever she needed him to do to prove he was ready to be all in, but there had been trouble in Tacoma and he had to ride out with Quinn to meet up with the other Nomads. When he finally headed back to Charming it was Christmas Day, he had spent Christmas Eve with his ma and aunt. He had been surprised to find out that Kayla had been by the day before dropping off gifts from the two of them. He had taken Kayla to meet his ma a few days before Thanksgiving and they had hit it off. Happy knew that they talked almost every night.

He headed to Teller-Morrow early on Christmas Day; he figured he would get there just in time for the big family meal. When he pulled in he saw Kozic leaning against his bike talking to Simone. The two were so cute it was fucking sick. Kozic nodded to him, "Hey Hap, didn't know you were coming."

Happy nodded, giving Koz a half hug, "Where's La?"

Kozic motioned toward the clubhouse, "Inside, she's been kind of sad today. I think she thought you weren't coming today."

Happy just walked toward the clubhouse. When he opened the door he scanned the room looking for her. Gemma came up and hugged him, "She's in the kitchen. Hope you brought her a present."

Happy chuckled, patting his kutte, "I did."

He stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching her as she finished up some dishes. When she turned around he could tell she had been crying. He walked right up to her, "Miss me?"

Kayla had never been so happy to see him in her life. She figured after their talk last time he had decided she wasn't worth the trouble. She took a deep breath, hugging herself, "I didn't think you were coming today."

Happy tilted her chin up so he could look into her eyes, "I couldn't stay away." His lips gently brushing hers, "Merry Christmas La, I love you."

Kayla stared up at him tears starting to fall from her eyes, he pulled her into his chest, "I thought you didn't want me."

Happy chuckled leaning back on the counter, letting her body pretty much melt up against his. "Ain't getting rid of me. I'm real sorry La, it won't happen again."

Kayla stared at him, "I'm scared. I don't want you to hurt me again."

Happy sighed, "I'm gonna try like fucking hell not to do that again. At least you know my dick won't leave my pants unless you take it out."

Kayla wiped a few tears from her face, "Did you say you loved me?"

Happy leaned down and kissed her hard, "I said that."

Kayla smiled, "Say it again."

Happy growled sucking on her bottom lip, "I love you."

Kayla deepened the kiss their tongues caressing each other, when they pulled away from each other they were both out of breath, "I love you more."

Happy slapped her ass, "Always have to have the last fucking word." Kayla giggled as she drug him into the clubhouse for dinner.

They were just finishing up when Gemma figured out they were missing whipped cream for the pies. Kayla smiled at Luann, "We should take that pretty little convertible of yours and go get it."

Luann smiled at her, "Well it was my gift from Otto. Let's do it."

Kayla came out and gave Happy a quick kiss, "Going to the store with Luann. Be right back."

Happy grabbed her ass, pulling her back into his lap, "Need more than that La." She rolled her eyes kissing him slower this time, her tongue suckling his. When she stood up, she felt a little drunk on lust. She grabbed her purse and headed out the door. Luann had gotten tired of waiting for her and went out to start the car. Kayla was almost to the car when there was a bright flash of light and Kayla could feel herself falling backwards.

Tig had been outside when Luann's car blew, he ran to Kayla who was struggling to get up. Tig fell to the ground, cradling her in his arms, holding her head into his chest. Luann's screams could be heard thru the lot and then it was silent. Tig rocked Kayla in his arms, "Don't look sweetie, don't look."

Kayla was screaming, "She's still alive, I have to get to her." But Tig won't loosen his hold on her, he knew she was in shock and he wasn't sure what she would do if he let her go. The only thing he knew for sure was that he came within a hair of losing the girl in his arms.

Happy came running outside with the others, his eyes going to the car, he wanted to vomit. He put his hands on his head, in disbelief, then he saw Tig holding Kayla on the ground. He pushed past everyone to get to her. She was sobbing into Tig's chest. Tig looked at him, "Take her inside."

Happy nodded scooping her up and carrying her inside the clubhouse. He sat down on the couch, sitting her next to him. He ran his hands up and down her arms and legs, "La, where does it hurt?"

Kayla just stared at him, "We were just going to get whipped cream."

Happy sighed, "La, snap the hell out of it. I need you to focus, tell me where it hurts."

Kayla looked up at him, her eyes were full of tears, one of her eyes was bright red from what Happy thought was a broken blood vessel from the impact. "Hap?"

Happy sighed, "Yeah, La?"

Kayla's chin started to quiver, "Please hold me and tell me it's gonna be ok."

Happy nodded shifting her to his lap. He just held her and stroked her hair as she cried. He had come so close to losing her again. All he wanted to do was lock her in their room and protect her from the world. He sighed; the engagement ring in his kutte would have to wait for another day. He pulled her closer to him, all that mattered was she was with him, everything else would work itself out.

**Ok, there you go, a SAMCRO Christmas….sorry about Luann, she was a fun character, but I needed her gone for something coming up later. So Kayla and Happy are working things out, not sure if she'll say yes, we will see. Let me know what you think! Hugs, Kaye**


	12. Can't Lose You

Chapter 12….Can't Lose You

**Well I hope you enjoy this next installment. I'm hoping to finish this one up in a few chapters; it's still flowing so we'll see. Yes Hap has an engagement ring for Kayla. I hope you enjoy the proposal, it's so Happy…LOL…Ok, here we go.**

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy felt the bed shift and he cracked opened an eye to watch Kayla's tattooed bare ass head towards the bathroom. He sat up and lit a smoke; the last few months had been rough since Luann's death. The Irish were acting like assholes, Zobelle was back on the map, and the Calveras, a bullshit MC out of Lodi was giving them hell. But his girl had been sober, she held up thru the worst. The first month was brutal, she had nightmares where he would wake up getting pushed out of the bed by her feet, the bed would be soaked with her sweat and she would be screaming for Luann. By the time he woke up Tig and Kozic would usually be in the room with their guns drawn. He would hold her and talk her through it and the nice thing was she let him.

That wasn't saying that she didn't get pissy whenever he had a run. He knew in his heart she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him, but he knew in time she would get better, that her anger would stop being so hot and cold.

But he had been home for a week, he wanted to make sure when Valentine's Day rounded around his ass would be in her bed. He had thought about giving her the ring a dozen times, but it never seemed like the right time. He sighed pulling himself off the bed and heading into the bathroom which was steamed up. He grinned as he stepped in behind Kayla, his hands going to the patch of daisies that were on her right cheek and the Celtic cross on the left cheek. He kneaded his hands into her flesh as she leaned back against him; he kissed her,"Who did this ink?"

Kayla smirked, he had asked her a million times, but she was too afraid to tell him. She knew if he knew he would go pay Skinny a personal visit. Skinny ran the little tattoo shop just outside of Colorado Springs. Kayla had gone to him for years; the nice thing about Skinny was after every tattoo they fucked. That's all it was, just plain old tie ya to the bed for three days, fucking. She wasn't proud of her behavior, but she had only had one boyfriend in Colorado, so Skinny helped her scratch the itch. "You know I'm not telling you. It was just a random shop."

Happy gripped her ass harder, biting her neck, "I don't like the thought of some asshole inking your ass."

Kayla turned around, her hand going in-between them to grip his growing shaft, "And I told you, it was just ink. No big deal. If we go to Colorado to visit I'll take you there, but other than that, stop worrying."

Happy growled as she continued to work him up and down. His eyes were half closed when she fell to her knees putting him in her mouth. Happy leaned back against the shower wall, his hands in her hair. Damn he loved his girl; she could suck cock like no one he knew. He had his eyes closed, "We should get hitched."

Kayla stopped moving and looked up at him, his hand pushing her head back to his throbbing cock, "Finish that La."

She figured she was just hearing things, she sighed and went back to him, he gripped her hair rough as he came. When she was finished Happy pulled her to her feet and kissed her hard. They finished their shower and Happy ended up taking her on the bed again, she just looked to god damn adorable.

When they were lying in bed cuddling he sighed, "So you didn't answer my question."

Kayla looked up at him, "You were serious? Really? You asked me to marry you while I was sucking your dick?"

Happy smirked wrapping his arms around her, "It was the happiest place I could think of."

Kayla rolled her eyes and got off the bed pulling on one of his shirts, "If I see a ring, I'll give you an answer."

Happy reached over and grabbed the ring out of his kutte pocket. When Kayla turned around from the dresser, he sat there with the box in his hand. Kayla smirked at him, "What's that?"

Happy shook his head, "Oh no, La. You come over here and give me an answer and then you'll see what's in the box."

Kayla crawled up his body toward his face, "What if the box is empty?"

Happy kissed her biting at her bottom lip, "Oh trust me, it's fucking not. So what's your answer? Take my ink and my ring or no?"

Kayla couldn't believe it, her face lit up, "Yes."

Happy gave her a cocky smirk, "Yes to what?"

Kayla wiped at a happy tear that had slipped down her cheek, "Yes I'll take your ink and be your wife."

Happy pulled her to him kissing her hard; when they pulled away he opened the box. Kayla couldn't help the tears streaming down her face, it was a white gold, antique engagement ring, the small diamond had two sapphires next to it. Kayla watched as Happy slipped it on her hand, "I knew you liked antique jewelry so Quinn took me to this place that he gets shit for Karla. Do you like it?"

Kayla sat back on her heels staring at her hand, when she launched herself at Happy hugging him and kissing him she knocked him back onto the bed. He laughed kissing her back. Kayla jumped up from the bed, a wild look on her face, "I have to tell Tig!"

She went running out of the room, Happy yelled after her, "Put some fucking pants on!"

He heard Kayla come running back up the stairs, she ran over to him and kissed him again, "Oops."

Happy slapped at her ass and grinned, "Whore."

Kayla smiled and winked at him, "Only for you baby."

Then she was down the stairs. She flung open Tig's room, scaring the shit out of one of the croweaters. Tig sat up trying to figure out what was going on, as Kayla hopped up and down on his side of the bed. "PEANUT! It's too fucking early what the hell?"

Kayla dropped down on her knees, putting her hand in front of her, "He asked me to marry him and take his ink."

Tig stared at her hand, he hugged her tight kissing her cheek, "Oh Baby girl I'm so happy for you. Did you tell Kozic yet?"

Kayla squealed, "No! I'll wake up him and Simone now! I love you Uncle Alex."

Tig chuckled as she ran across the hall to Kozic's room, but she stopped and came back, "Tig?"

Tig looked up at her, "Yes peanut."

Kayla took a deep breath, "I want you to walk me down the aisle when we do get married, if that's alright."

Tig felt himself choke up; he nodded his head, "Yeah Peanut that would be great."

Kayla squealed heading into Kozic's room to share the news with him. Tig was still sitting in stunned silence when he saw Happy standing in the hallway shaking his head, "Sorry man, she got so excited."

Tig grinned, "It's cool. I'm so happy for you brother."

Happy chuckled, motioning to the still sleeping croweater, "I'll leave you to celebrate." Tig smirked as Happy shut the door.

**-Hard to Love-**

Within a week, every charter of the SONS knew about the engagement, mostly thanks to Quinn having a big mouth. He had chuckled and told his wife, it was his gift to Kayla, alerting all the other croweaters that Happy was off the market for good.

Finally at the end of April, Happy had promise Kayla a little getaway for the two of them. So during her Spring Break he planned on taking her to Colorado Springs, he wanted to see the springs that she talked about all the time and he thought it was the right place to ink her. The trial for the gun charges at the Christian Center was coming up and he knew they would be going away, soon, but Jax was working on a plan to help get them some time off the sentence. When Kayla asked Happy about it he told her not to worry, which she still did, but she knew when not push things with him.

It was Spring Break and Kayla just had to get thru the SONS Founder's Day Poker Run and then she would have Happy all to herself.

SONS Founder's Day Poker Run was a chance for all the charters to get together and celebrate the first NINE and party. It was always in Charming, Gemma rented the fairgrounds for the weekend, having tents set up and chartering brought in, they even had a beer truck and a bar. Happy felt pride as he rolled up to the start of the run with his old lady on the back. She hugged up to him as they went from checkpoint to checkpoint collecting cards. She made sure to trash talk Tig at every stop, until he made her feel bad and she traded him cards so he had a better hand. When Happy asked her why the fuck she traded, she just smirked and said they had each other, and Tig was alone, he needed cheered up. Which Happy just rolled his eyes as she kissed his cheek?

The day had been wonderful and Kayla found herself sitting outside one of the tents with Kozic and Lorca. The two men had been sober a long time, but even these Founder's Day parties were too tempting for them. Simone had gone off to the rest room and Happy was bringing the three bottles of water, while pretending to not fill his pop can with whiskey. When he came back out and sat down pulling Kayla back onto his lap, she smirked at Lorca. The two of them had just finished talking about how he wasn't fooling anyone with the pop can filled with whiskey.

Kayla smiled and kissed Happy, "I want some pop. Let me have a sip." As she grabbed the can he jumped up.

Happy held the can over his head, "I'll get you one." Kayla and Lorca exploded into laughter as he walked back into the tent.

Kozic threw his cigarette butt and chuckled, "It has to suck being with the only three sober ones here."

Kayla slapped at his shoulder, "Speak for yourself! I'm fucking hot as hell."

Lorca laughed, his belly shaking, "Damn right, so am I!" Lorca looked over at Kayla, "So I hear your recovery is going good."

Kayla nodded, "It's hard some days, hell some days it's a fucking bitch. Hap's been great, he's really trying."

Lorca smiled, "Yeah, I'd be fucking good too if you destroyed a porn star over me."

Kozic laughed, "It was fucking brilliant. Kayla got all black ops on that bitch's ass."

The three were sitting laughing and talking, none of them noticed the green panel van that moving slowly toward them. Kozic saw them first. Everything moved in slow motion, Kayla felt an explosion in her chest, then Kozic was on top of her his gun out. She could see Lorca lying not too far away from her, his eyes were glassy and he was moving his mouth, but Kayla couldn't hear what he was saying.

Kayla heard someone screaming, she didn't know it was her, she saw Happy's face over her, his mouth was moving but she couldn't hear him, and then everything went black.

Happy had been almost thru the flap of the tent when he heard gun shots. He dropped the pop cans and was advancing forward shooting. They all watched as the van sped away, Happy turned to see Kozic leaning over Kayla. Happy ran to him, kneeling down next to her, she was hysterically screaming. There was blood all over her chest, when she screamed the blood was coming out of her mouth. He choked back a sob, "Kayla, KAYLA, settle down baby. Just hold on baby."

Tara came next to him, "Take off your shirt, apply pressure on her wound." Tara looked around, "WE NEED AN AMBULANCE HERE NOW!"

Happy just kept staring into her eyes, "Please don't leave me baby." He leaned down next to her; her screams had stopped; now she just stared wide eyed at him, trying to breath. Her chest was hurting worse and worse, she put her hand to Happy's face.

Happy looked down at her, "I'm not going anywhere, La."

She nodded at him, "I'm so sorry. I love you so much."

Happy watched as her eyes rolled back in her head, he looked at Tara, "Tara? TARA!"

Tara moved around him, starting CPR, she looked around for Chibs, "CHIBS! I need you."

Chibs came resting toward her dropping down on his knees he started helping her.

Tig saw Happy starting to lose it; he pulled him up on his feet, "Come on brother let them work on her. She's gonna be ok, she's gonna be fine."

Happy knelt down close to her, willing her to live, if he could he would reach inside her chest and make her live. He put his hands on his head and rocked back and forth, he felt Gemma kneel down next to him and grab his hand. He could hear her softly praying to herself, both of them trying to hold themselves together while they waited for the ambulance.

**Ok, this was shorter than I normally do, but I'm updating on four stories tonight and just couldn't go for my normal 5,000 words and I wanted to get something out there for you all to read! I hope you liked it! Who thought the way he proposed was so Happy? I know I left you with a cliffhanger….oh the plans for chapter 12 are wickedly good, I think! Ok, do your thing! Hugs, Kaye**


	13. What Did You Say?

Chapter 13…What did you say?

**Teehee…I'm peeking out from under my rock. I see a few broken bottles that were thrown for leaving you all hanging….Well here's comes the next installment….Oh you guys are gonna love this! I hope**

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy was covered in blood, he kept looking at his hands, he just stared at them as they waited in the emergency room waiting room. He had ridden with Kayla to the hospital, she had crashed in the ambulance and he watched helplessly as they brought her back. When they got to the hospital he had followed them as far as the nurses would let him. He just kept staring at his hands. He heard Tara behind him, running pass him to disappear through the doors that Kayla had been taken. Why was there was much blood? He stared at his hands, not knowing what to do.

Jax had never seen the Killer like this, he usually had control over his emotions, but watching Happy standing there outside the doors to the trauma center staring at his hands was unnerving. Jax moved up behind him, placing his hand on Happy's back, "Hap, let's go sit down and wait."

Happy turned to him and nodded, he let Jax walk him toward the plastic chairs. Jax sat down next to him, "Hap, she's gonna be alright, she's tough."

Happy just nodded, he was a mess and he knew it, what if she wasn't alright? She was all he had besides the club and his ma. There was just so much blood.

When Quinn and Karla came walking into the hospital, Quinn saw Jax's look, he could tell that Jax was worried about Happy. Quinn looked at his wife, "I want you to stay put here with Jax, I'm gonna get Hap cleaned up." Karla nodded taking a seat next to Jax.

Quinn stood in front of Happy, his voice was gruff, "Come on, we need to clean that shit off of you. Can't have her seeing you like this."

Happy stared up at Quinn; he just nodded and followed him to the bathroom. Quinn disappeared and showed back up with a clean scrub top, "Put this on. You gonna be alright man?"

Happy kept scrubbing his hands, "She was outside because she was trying to keep sober. If she would've been inside she won't be here. If she wasn't with me she would've been in Colorado, dating a normal guy, not me."

Quinn pushed him hard against the wall, "She needs you to be pissed. She needs you to be able to handle this shit. Now you good?"

Happy looked at Quinn for a few minutes, Quinn was starting to worry that the man was going to completely break down. He saw Happy nod at him, and he slowly released him. Happy leaned his head back against the wall for a few seconds and then he pulled on the clean scrub top.

Once they were back in the waiting room, a doctor came out with Tara. Happy stood, "How is she?"

The doctor looked at Happy, "She was hit in the left lower lobe of her left lung. We think we can remove the bullet. We have her on the ventilator because the lung has collapsed. The thing we are the most concerned about is her irregular heartbeat, which seems to be part of a congenital issue. We plan on shocking the heart back into rhythm, if that doesn't work we'll have to implant a pace maker. Once we get her heart rate stable we'll be taking her into surgery. The good news is the baby is fine."

Happy stared at him, "Baby?"

Tara smiled at him, "We found it in the blood tests the hospital runs whenever someone comes in with a trauma. I did an ultrasound and it looks like she's only just six weeks along."

Happy shook his head, "But the baby is strong?"

Tara pulled Happy into a hug, "The baby is very strong. I'll be back as soon as I know anything else."

As Tara turned to leave Happy stopped her, "Did she know? Did she know about the baby?"

Tara smiled at him, "She's not very far along, she probably didn't know yet. Do you want me to tell her if she wakes up?"

Happy shook his head, "No, I'll tell her when she wakes up. Thanks Tara."

**-Hard to Love-**

Hours passed, while Kayla was in surgery. The doctors were able to stabilize her heart rate and now they were repairing the damage to her lung. Tara had gone in to assist to keep an eye on the baby. Happy was still trying to wrap his head around that, he had just proposed to her, she had just started looking for a dress and now they were going to plan a baby. The thought had already gone through his mind that he won't be there when the baby was born. The thought was running through his mind that the club needed to set shit right to keep the women protected while they were inside.

Happy found himself in the gift shop; Quinn and Tig had sent him to get a cup of coffee. He knew they just wanted to keep him busy until she was out of surgery, so he went. While standing in line he saw a small white teddy bear in the gift shop window. He got out of the coffee line and went into the gift shop. He stood with the bear in his hands for the longest time, until he went to the cash register. The young girl behind the counter smiled at him as he paid for the bear.

When he walked back to the waiting room he sat down with the bear in his hands. Tig came over and sat next to him, "The doc said she's out and holding her own. Tara said she would come get us when she's in a room. The baby is still doing great." Tig looked at the little bear, "She's gonna love that."

Happy looked up at him, "She doesn't know. We all know and she doesn't."

Tig saw that Happy was close to breaking. He patted his back, "We're gonna make this right brother. Just keep holding it together. She's not leaving us."

Happy nodded, "I know that, there ain't nowhere she can go that I won't follow her."

Tig just sighed; he caught the meaning behind Happy's words. Tig frowned, his voice was soft but firm, "Now I know you're gonna get your ass together or I'm not letting you in that fucking room."

Happy glared at Tig, "Try and stop me."

Tig smirked, "If that's what it'll take then let's go."

Before Happy could take Tig challenge, Tara came into the waiting room and motioned for Happy. He followed her to Kayla's room. When Happy entered the ICU room, he listened as Tara went over everything the doctors had done for his girl. Happy just kept nodding; he just wanted to be alone with her. Tara touched his arm bringing him back to reality, "Happy it's all good news. Her and the baby are fine, she just needs to heal. I'll come back in thirty and bring Gemma and Tig."

Once she was gone, Happy walked over to the bed. His fingers ghosted down Kayla's cheek, he knew he was crying, he would never let anyone see him cry. He had only cried three times in his life, once when his dad died, once when his mom told him about the cancer, and now. He set the bear on the bed next to her, his voice cracking, "You scared me today, La. You hear me? I can't lose you; you're the only good part of me besides my mom." Happy leaned down kissing her forehead, leaning his forehead against hers, "Got to stay strong for our baby. I'll get these fuckers; I swear, just come back to me, La. I'm not done with you yet girl. Just wake up."

By the time that Gemma and Tig came in, he was sitting on a chair, one hand on her stomach and the other had a death grip on her hand. The hours passed, different members and their wives came and went, but he and Tig stayed by her side. Happy and Tig both watched as they took the tube from her throat, the doctors said that she was breathing on her own. Once the tube was out, Happy gently kissed her lips, "I'm right here, La. Tig is too, we just need you to wake up."

**-Hard to Love-**

The first thing Kayla heard was a beeping noise, she was confused, where was she? As she slowly opened her eyes, she had to blink hard from the light. Both of her hands were very warm, as she moved her head slowly from side to side she saw her men. Happy had his head on the bed his hands gripped around hers, on the other side Tig was holding her hand his head thrown back and he was snoring up a storm.

When she looked back at Happy she coughed, making his head snap up. When he looked at her, she saw the relief all over his face, "La, oh baby."

Tig sat up straight, "I'm up. What's wrong?" Tig looked over at Kayla and smiled, "Oh baby girl."

Happy kissed her hand, "You feeling alright La?"

Kayla nodded, when she spoke her throat hurt, "Is Kozic and Lorca ok?"

Tig laughed, standing up he leaned down and kissed her hard, "They're fine." He looked deep into her eyes; Kayla saw tears brimming "Don't ever scare your dad like that again." He kissed her again and nodded to Happy, "I'm going to let everyone know she's awake."

Kayla watched him go, her eyes were already getting heavy, she turned back to Happy, Happy stood up his hands softly stroking her face, "How bad is the pain?"

Kayla ran her hand up to her left side, "It hurts, but I'm alright. How bad?"

Happy sighed, "You're the worst, docs got the bullet out, it was stuck in your lung. You're heart rate got crazy, but they regulated it."

Kayla nodded, tears starting in her eyes, "I remember seeing my dad. He told me it wasn't time yet, that you needed me."

Happy swallowed hard, he knew he had almost lost her, but hearing her say that about broke him in two. He kissed her forehead, "Can't leave me yet, your mom wants a big wedding remember?"

Kayla coughed, wincing at the feeling in her side; Happy put the straw to her lips making her take a drink. Once she did she sat back against the bed, "Is there anything else? I'm going to be ok right?"

Happy stroked her hair, "Well sort of. La, the doctors did a blood test when you came in and well, we're going to have a kid."

Kayla stared at him, her hand going to her stomach, "A baby?"

Happy smiled, really smiled at her, "Yup, and I'm gonna spoil the hell out of both of you, so get use to it."

Kayla nodded as he hugged her gently, "I can't believe we're going to have a baby. Are you happy? You weren't mad were you?"

Happy laughed pulling back and looking into her big wide blue eyes, "No. I'm happy, but your mom thinks we should get hitch like tomorrow."

Kayla felt her eyes closing again, though she was struggling to keep awake, "I'm so sleepy. Will you stay with me while I sleep?"

Happy nodded, his hand going to her cheek, "Ain't going anywhere, La." Happy sat and watched as her eyes got heavy. It didn't take long for her to be out, his girl was alive, now all he needed was some pay back for the fuckers that did this to her.

**-Hard to Love-**

Two weeks after the shooting, Happy was ready to put his fist thru a wall. Kayla had only been home for one day and she was already doing shit she wasn't allowed to. He had been out all night with Quinn, Jax, and Chibs trying to run down the members of the Calveras, who were responsible for the shooting. He had just fallen asleep when he heard her on the stairs. On doctor's orders she had been staying in Tig's room, no up and down the stairs. The only reason he didn't go in and lay down with her was he didn't want to wake her up. So when the door opened and she saw him sitting up on his elbows, he knew she didn't think he was home. She laughed nervously, "Hey there big man. Didn't know you were home."

Happy pulled himself to the edge of the bed, taking her in, she was sweaty and pale from her walk up the stairs, "Want to tell me what the fuck you're doing up here?"

Kayla stared at the floor, "I was so bored and Simone just left to get us lunch. I wanted my wedding stuff."

Happy stood up and closed the distance between them, picking her up bridal style. Kayla sighed into his neck, "I was just trying to keep busy."

Happy walked her back down the stairs and back into Tig's room. He sat her down gently on the bed, and kissed her, his black eyes piercing into hers, "What do you need from upstairs?"

Kayla sighed, "There's a bag next to my desk and I wanted a clean pair of pjs."

Happy nodded going upstairs he grabbed what she needed. When he came back down she was sitting on the edge of the bed. He could tell she was in pain, he sighed, "La, you can take something for the pain you know."

Kayla shook her head, "It's not good for me or the baby. I took some Motrin; I'll be fine in a bit."

Happy picked up her pjs, "Come on, I'll help you."

Kayla shook her head, her eyes going to the floor. She was afraid of what her body looked like, with the new scar from the surgery and now the growing baby inside of her. "I can do it."

Happy roughly yanked the night gown over her head, he stepped back and smirked at her, "I like doing it, gives me a chance to see those fucking titties."

Kayla blushed as he slowly helped her into a clean tank top, his hands stopping to pinch her nipples. She slapped at his hands and he gave her his best cocky bastard smile. He helped her stand up and he yanked down her night shorts, his hands running up and down the back of her thighs, he rested his head against her crotch, he growled, "Can't fucking wait till I can fuck you." She giggled as he helped her into a new pair of sleep shorts. As he guided her to sit down on the bed, her hand grabbed the front of his sweatpants.

Happy looked down at her, "La, we can't." He whispered to her, he wasn't sure he trusted himself not to fuck her and he knew she couldn't take that just yet.

Kayla smiled up at him, pulling them down and letting his hard cock sprung from his pants, "I'm just using my mouth." Happy's eyes rolled back into his head as her mouth started working on him. It didn't take long for him to feel himself building up; he was coming into her mouth when he heard a voice.

He turned around to see Tig trying to shield his eyes, "ON MY FUCKING BED? JESUS CHRIST! You know she's not supposed to be doing anything. GOD DAMN!"

Kayla covered her face as Happy pulled up his sweats, he pointed to Kayla who was giggling behind her hands, "This is on her! She's a fucking temptress."

Kayla looked up at Tig using her innocence look, "I'm injured, I was just sitting here minding my own business."

Tig shook his head, "I ain't falling for that shit peanut. Just change those fucking sheets. Jesus."

When Tig left the room, Happy glared down at Kayla who was smirking up at him, her cheeks were still red from blushing, "You I'm gonna beat your ass when you're better." He leaned down to kiss her slowly.

Kayla smirked at him, "That's what I'm counting on."

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy stood staring down at the body of the Calveras' VP; he smirked as the blood ran underneath his feet. He could hear Hector, the Calveras President screaming, Quinn and Tig had been given the job of 'questioning' him and Happy knew the two of them were enjoying it. He walked over to Clay who was smoking a cigar and leaning on his bike.

Happy cased an eye towards the open door of the warehouse they had found the Calveras held up in, "Clay, what's the next move?"

Clay smirked up at Happy, "Well it seems our friend Zobelle hired them to send us a message. Quinn and Tig got it out of him an hour ago, but I thought I'd just let them play with him a little before we kill him. The other's dead?"

Happy nodded, "Want them burned or buried?"

Clay laughed, "Burned, we'll stack them all in the warehouse and I'll have Op blow it. Why don't you head home and be with our girl."

Happy looked at his president, "Are you sure?"

Clay nodded, "Yeah, we're good here. Give my love to Kayla."

Happy hugged Clay, "I will."

As Happy pulled away from the warehouse he didn't notice the van that was tailing him. As he rode home he was going over in his head, the kills he had racked up tonight for the club. He would be adding two new smiley faces to his collection, but these would be special, these had been for his girl. He pulled into the drive; he took off his helmet and slowly got off the bike. He heard the click of a safety being taken off, when he turned he saw AJ Weston staring at him, gun drawn.

AJ Weston smirked, "Well look what we got here, a biker wetback."

Happy held his hands up, "You don't want to do this, there won't be anywhere for you to hide."

Weston laughed, "I'm done hiding, you fucking wetbacks and race traders are killing our country. Your death will just be the first step to making this a brave new world."

Happy glared at him, "Didn't know you were out, with that carjacking charge."

Weston moved a little closer, "The Nation got me out and my first order was to come back here to Charming and make you asshole pay. Maybe after I kill you, I'll go in and visit your old lady, maybe make her see that white is right."

Happy growled taking a step toward him, "No gonna happen."

Weston motioned to the ground, "Get down on your knees asshole."

Happy set his jaw hard, he wasn't afraid to die; he just didn't want it to happen at the hands of some stupid white hate prick like Weston. He just hoped if this did happen, that Kayla didn't find him. He closed his eyes and waited.

Kayla had been bored all day, Kozic had to run out, but he left her with his glock. Telling her that if she didn't use it he'd kick her ass. When she heard the bike she went to the front window to see who was home. What she saw made fear run through her body. Happy was on his knees and AJ Weston was coming up behind him with a gun.

Kayla grabbed the Glock and slipped out the back door circling around the house. She quietly crept up on Weston; Happy saw her but didn't make a move. Kayla meant to just shot him in the leg, but Weston saw Happy's eyes drop and he turned.

Kayla was almost on top of him and when he turned she shot him pointblank in the head. Blood spraying everywhere, she dropped the gun covering her mouth to keep in a scream. Happy was at her side in seconds cradling her to him, he stroked her hair, "Sssh, don't cry, La." He walked her around Weston's dead body toward the house. As he did he kept talking to her, "Don't look baby girl. You did what had to be done. Please don't cry."

Happy flipped open his phone and went out to drag Weston's body into the garage. When he was done, he went back inside and sat on the couch holding Kayla. Kayla looked up at him, "It was you or him right?"

Happy nodded, "Yes. You did the right thing."

The door burst open and Tig, Chibs, and Jax came into the house. After Happy downloaded them on what had happened they all went out into the garage trying to figure out what to do with the body. They finally pulled up Weston's van and loaded him into it, taking his body and dumping it outside of the Calveras warehouse, making it look like Weston and his crew had burnt down the warehouse and that Weston got caught in the cross fire.

When Happy got back to the house, Kayla was still sitting on the couch. Kozic had made it back and was sitting talking to her quietly. Kozic looked up and nodded to him, "Kayla, I'm heading to bed. Try to get some sleep sweet cheeks."

Kayla leaned over and hugged Kozic, "Thanks for being here for me."

Kozic smiled at her, "Any time."

Happy sat down on the coffee table across from her, he ran his knuckle down her cheek, "You saved me tonight."

Kayla nodded, "You've saved me a million times, it was just my turn. Does it make me a bad person that I'm glad I did it."

Happy shook his head moving to sit next to her, his arm wrapping around her shoulders, "No, La. You were just protecting what was yours. You live, die, and kill for your family. You proved that tonight."

Kayla sighed moving her head so that she was lying in his lap, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Happy brushed her hair with his hand, "Me too, La. Me too."

**Ok, I hope you enjoyed**** A baby! Just so you know, there will be a wedding, but it will be SAMCRO style! Always full of drama. Ok, thank you for all the love and support! Do your thing! Hugs, Kaye**


	14. It's the Little Things

Chapter 14….It's the Little Things

**So after much turkey and family togetherness, I'm hiding out and writing all day. So glad that everyone goes back to work and school tomorrow**** So here is a nice fluffy chapter for everyone, we've had a lot of drama, so this chapter should be sweet with just enough smut thrown in.**

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla stood in the bathroom staring at herself, she was shaking, she couldn't believe that in just a few short hours she would be Mrs. Happy Lowman. She smoothed out the front of the plain white sun dress, it wasn't the wedding she had always hoped for, but she was getting married. Her mother came into the bathroom, she turned to look at her, "Oh baby you look beautiful!"

Kayla chuckled, "I think you'd say that if I was in a burlap bag today. You just want a wedding."

Gemma smiled as she came up behind her daughter and stared into the mirror at their reflections, "This is good baby. He's worried about you, he wants to make sure you'll be safe while he's inside, this way with a ring and a crow he insures that."

Lynn turned to her mother, "I won't have cheated on him. Really mom."

Gemma crossed her arms, "They worry about that shit. You know about the prison clause right?"

Lynn smiled putting on her eyeliner, "Yes mom, I know all about that, who would I use that for? And who wants an overly emotional pregnant woman? Besides no one makes me feel like he does, NO ONE."

Gemma smiled, "Well I hope so, cuz Hap's the kind of guy that would go ape shit if he thought someone else was touching what was his."

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy stood outside the clubhouse wearing a white button down shirt under his kutte. He watched as the prospects set up the last of the chairs as he smoked. He still wondered how the hell Gemma and the rest of the old lady brigade had thrown together a wedding in less than a week. He took a drag on his smoke as Quinn came up behind him and slapped him on the back, "You ready for this shit brother?"

Hap smirked, "Yeah, I'm ready. I finished drawing her crow last night. I figure I'll ink her tonight while we're at the hotel."

Quinn chuckled, "Who would've thought you'd get neutered."

Hap glared at him, "Look who's talking! Isn't you that has three damn kids and an old lady?"

Quinn chuckled, "Yup and my old lady keeps my balls on a shelf, but I figured of all of us, you would be the one to fight them off."

Happy shrugged, "They get under your skin worse than fucking ink. Now I'm gonna be a fucking dad, what the hell do I do with that?"

Quinn laughed, watching as Gemma's SUV pulled into the lot right up against the office door. He watched as Happy stared trying to get a glace of his wife to be. "Brother you're gonna do just fine. How'd they talk you into a night apart?"

Happy shrugged, rolling his eyes, "You don't say no to the queen. Gemma pretty much fucking ordered me to stay here last night."

The two men both sighed as the Queen herself came walking across the lot smiling at them, "Hey there boys, we're gonna start seating everyone. So you two go in and tell the rest of them to move their asses."

Quinn saluted the Queen turning to head into the clubhouse. Happy moved toward Gemma his eyes on the little office of the garage, "How's she doing?"

Gemma smiled, "She's doing great baby. She looks beautiful, you doing ok?"

Hap nodded, "I hope I don't fuck this up."

Gemma laughed kissing his cheek, "We all do, but it will be fine. Did your mom get here alright?"

Hap nodded, "Juice and Lynn picked her up this morning. She's inside talking about shit with Piney; the two of them look a little too cozy."

Gemma chuckled, "Let her have some fun baby. You're giving her a daughter and a grandbaby all on the same day. Now come on we need to get ready, you're not thinking of running are you?"

Hap chuckled, "No ma'am, she's scarier good with a gun." The two laughed as they entered the clubhouse.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla stood in the office staring out the window. She could see her mother bossing people around, people starting to find their seats. She knew it was almost time, she heard the door open and she turned to see Tig staring at her. Tig swallowed hard, "You look beautiful peanut."

Kayla felt her eyes well up, "Thank you. You clean up pretty good yourself."

Tig chuckled as he looked down at his blue button down and kutte, he spun around, "Why this old thing?" Tig walked over and hugged her, afraid to let her go, "I'm real happy for you baby."

Kayla buried her head into his chest, "You're still my number one."

Tig laughed, "Well that's good to know, what am I gonna do without you."

Kayla looked up at him, "I'll come visit, and hopefully Rosen will work out a good deal for you and it won't be too long."

Tig nodded, his hand going up and down her cheek, "It's time to go baby. If we wait too long, Hap will come in here and put a cap in both our asses."

Kayla laughed wiping at her tears; she took Tig's arm, "Let's do this."

It was a simple ceremony, just a narrow walkway that led down to a flower arch where a minister and Happy stood waiting. As Tig walked her to her new husband. Happy's face looked like it was set in granite as the minister said their vows, he only smirked at her when he promised to ride her like his Harley and take care of her like his leather. When he kissed her he pulled her into him, kissing her with every he had.

After the ceremony, her mother had the clubhouse decorated with white balloons; there were two long tables of charted food set up in the middle of the room. Kayla was snuggly pulled against Happy's side, while they talked to their guests, he almost had a death grip on her hip, his hand every once in awhile brushing against her stomach. He finally released her with a rough kiss when her mother called her back to the dorms. When she opened the door to Hap's dorm, her mother smiled at her evilly, "Luann and I got you a few things."

Kayla rolled her eyes as her mother held up a very sheer, white baby doll night gown with small pink ribbons on it, "Mom! I think Hap and I will figure something out, I can't wear that."

Gemma huffed at her, shoving the night gown in her travel bag, "You know you don't give me much notice so I have to throw together a wedding and now you're taking away my joy with the naughty nightgown. Jesus Kayla!"

Kayla sighed hugging her mother, "I'm sorry mom, it has been the most wonderful day. Thank you for everything."

Gemma smiled, "I know, you're welcome baby. Now get your ass changed because that tall dark bastard is gonna want to take you out of here and to the hotel, so he can fuck your brains out."

Kayla gasped, "Jesus mom."

Gemma just shrugged as she walked out the door, "Well it's true."

Kayla had just finished changing into her jeans and tank top and was pulling on her boots when Happy opened the door. He walked over and stood in front of her, "What the hell you doing woman?"

Kayla smiled as she stood up her hands running up the hard muscles of his chest, "I'm changing so my husband and old man can take me on my honeymoon. You know anything about that?"

Happy growled as he pulled her flush against his body, "I know plenty about it. I was hoping you would wear that little dress while we were on the bike."

Kayla laughed kissing him, "Yeah and I would've flashed half of California in the process."

Happy stiffened, "No body would fucking look or I'd shot them."

Kayla put her bag on her shoulder; walking toward him she patted his chest, "Let's go big man. Unless you're not in the mood." She bit her lip playfully and he grabbed her again, his hands going to her ass hard.

Happy bit the bottom of her lip, "Not gonna happen, La."

**-Hard to Love-**

An hour later they were opening the door to their hotel room in Seawater Springs, a small beach front town. Once Happy had opened the door he grinned at her pulling her up onto his shoulder she squealed, "Happy Lowman what the hell are you doing?"

Happy slapped her ass hard, "Carrying my old lady over the threshold, what's it look like?"

Kayla laughed as he threw her onto the bed, she giggled as he crawled on top of her like a cat looking to eat its prey. "Are you ready or something?"

Happy growled as he kissed her neck, his hand going up underneath her tank top, "Been thinking about that hot wet tight pussy all fucking day!"

Kayla sighed running her hand over his head, "Well if you want it fast and dirty than that's what my old man gets."

Happy stopped and stared at her, a small smirk playing at his lips, "Why got something else in mind La?"

Kayla smiled kissing him quick, "Mom and Luann got me a present for you."

Happy put both of his hand on her breasts, squeezing them, his eyebrows going up and down, "Really? Well get your happy ass in the bathroom and change then!"

Kayla smirked up at him, "So is that an order?"

Happy rolled off her watching her get up he leaned over and smacked her ass, "Dirty little bitch." She smiled over her shoulder as she grabbed her bag and headed into the bathroom.

Happy took off his kutte and set it on the chair next to the bed. He stripped out of his shirt and sat down on the bed against the headboard smoking impatiently waiting for Kayla to come out of the bathroom. When she did he felt his breath catch in his throat, Kayla was shyly standing in the doorway her arms crossed over her breasts. Happy smirked and used his finger to call her to him.

Kayla felt ridiculous in the sheer piece of fabric; she walked slowly toward the bed. Watching as her husband's face lit up like a hundred watt bulb. Happy moved to sit on the edge of the bed as she moved to stand between his legs. Happy moved her hands so that her arms were at her sides. He smirked at her hard nipples that peaked out of the fabric; Happy pulled her close as he slipped his tongue out licking at the now harder peak. Kayla groaned her hand going to his shaven head and then down to his neck. Happy moved at the speed of light, he had her down on the bed underneath him, he grinned at her, "Remind me to thank your mom."

Kayla smiled as he moved down her body; he stopped pulling her legs so that they fell to the sides. He ran his fingers slowly across the thin lace thong that hid her sex. Kayla bucked her hips up into his hand as he slowly pulled the thong down, his mouth leaving soft kisses everywhere. Kayla rocked her hips as his lips found her core, his tongue suckling at her clit, his fingers slowly working her up into a frenzy. When Happy felt she was close to the edge, he slammed his tongue into her and reached up pinching her nipple, hard. She threw her head back and screamed as her walls tightened around his tongue.

Happy smiled as he looked at her face, it was flush, a sheen of sweat covered her, and her eyes were half closed drunk with lust. He slammed his lips to hers and loved the groan that escaped her mouth. She was feverish in her response, he laughed as she rolled on top of him. When she smirked sexily at him as she slid down his lean body her fingers working fast on his pants, she stood long enough to throw the garment to the floor. She returned to him, straddling him, his erection digging into her through his boxers. Happy gripped her hips, "What're you doing La?"

Kayla leaned down her hands kneading his peck muscles, "Trying to drive you crazy." She rolled her hips into his cock and smiled as he groaned. Happy growled at her, pulling her down to his lips, once they pulled away he smiled at her, "You gonna sit up there all day or are you going to fuck me woman?"

Kayla smirked; she worked his boxers down just enough so that his cock was free. She positioned herself on top of him and they both moaned as she sunk down taking him all the way into her. Happy grabbed her hips with bruising force, "Fuck La, come on girl ride that shit."

Kayla settled herself her hands on his chest, she bucked up and down, Happy felt himself getting close. In one fluid movement he flipped the two of them over and he began thrusting into her at an amazing pace. He squeezed her tits in his hands as they came together. Happy collapsed on top of her, breathing hard, "Damn girl, I've been waiting for that all fucking day."

Kayla laughed, "Is it different fucking a married lady?"

Kayla felt his laugh thru his chest, "Different fucking my married lady. Damn girl, we have all week. I'm glad you're already knocked up, because you would be by the end of this week."

**-Hard to Love-**

When Kayla woke up she could make out Happy setting something up on the table next to the bed. She sat up and smiled at him, "What are you doing?"

Happy turned toward her and smiled, "Getting ready."

Kayla knew what he was doing, but she wanted to hear it from his mouth, "Getting ready for what?"

Happy sighed, moving toward the bed and kissing her shoulder, "I want it there. Your crow, I want it there so when I fuck you I can see it from either behind or when you're staring up at me."

Kayla sat up putting her arms around his neck, "Can I see the stencil?"

Happy smiled, grabbing the paper from the table. "I drew it."

Kayla stared at it, the crow had a happy face in its talons, and above it spread across the wings was one word, _Happy_. As she stared at it, tears filled her eyes, "I love it."

Happy smirked, "That's good because it's gonna be there forever, so if some fucker looks at you they'll see it. No one better ever see it all, you got me?"

Kayla gave him a wicked grin, "What no prison clause?"

Happy was on her covering her body and pinning her down, his eyes were wild; "Bitch there is no prison clause."

Kayla smirked at him, "Yes dear. No prison clause, but you better behave too. No fucking Juice in the shower."

Happy's face softened, "Wicked bitch." He kissed her again, licking the area that he planned on tattooing. After two hours he pulled away from her, the skin on her shoulder still vibrating from the feel of the needle. Kayla watched as he gently put ointment on the skin and covered it.

Once he was done, she swallowed hard, her voice a whisper, "It won't be long now and you and the others will be gone, right?"

Happy frowned, kissing her cheek quickly, "Let's not talk about that now La. Let's just enjoy this, I'm here right now girl and that's what matters."

Kayla nodded, "You'll tell me before it happens right? I won't come home from school and you'll just be gone, because that will kill me…" She choked back a sob as he put his thumb to her lips silencing her.

Happy stared at her blue eyes that were now filled with tears and fear, "La, it's gonna be alright. We're making sure things will be safe while we're gone. Chibs and Op will be here and Kozic will make sure you're taken care of. I'll be fine."

Kayla shook her head, staring down at her stomach, a single tear falling into her lap, "I know, I'm just scared. I've never done this before."

Happy pulled her into his chest, his hand running up and down her back, "Me neither girl, me neither." He wanted to tell her how sorry he was that he knocked her up and was leaving her to have their kid alone. He wanted to tell her that the feds were picking them up next week and that Jax had cut a deal that meant they were only going away for fourteen months, but he couldn't. He just held her as she cried, rocking her a little as her tears ran down his bare chest. He pulled her close and kissed her, looking into her eyes Happy knew he would do anything to keep his family safe, anything.

**Ok, their married, she has the ring and the crow. The next update will be the boys going to prison! Ok, let me know what you think! Hope your Thanksgiving was awesome! Hugs, Kaye**


	15. Miss You In A Heartbeat

Chapter 15….Miss You In A Heartbeat

**Now our story will jump around a bit, I will speed things up to give you an insight to what life was like with the boys inside. During these few chapters you will see the second part of the drama come into play. I think I have a really good idea, but you all can tell me. But for now here is the start of the prison chapters. Enjoy**

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy was on edge as he stood by his bike. He knew that Kayla and Gemma would be pulling in at any moment. Gemma had taken Kayla baby shopping for the day. Part of him wanted to see her before that bitch Stahl got there and the other half of him didn't want her to see him get hauled off in cuffs. He glanced over at Tig and Juice who were standing guard by the garage where they had Jimmy O hidden. As he looked back at the clubhouse door he could see Lynn and her mother Katherine staring toward the garage, while little Juan Carlos played on the ground in front of them. Happy shook his head, this shit was bad.

He sighed as he watched Gemma pull in with Kayla, as soon as his wife was out of the car his heart started to ache, she was walking over to him and she looked so happy. Shit this was bad.

Kayla smiled at her husband, when she got to him she pulled on his kutte, "I had a blast! This baby is going to be one spoiled kid."

Happy laughed running a hand down her cheek trying to memorize her face, "I'm glad La. Tell me you love me."

Kayla smiled, "You know I love you, Hap." Happy nodded bringing his lips down on hers kissing her hard, trying to get his last taste of her.

When he pulled away his thumb traced the corner of her mouth, "I love you, La. Don't ever forget that."

Kayla stared at him; her mind finally figuring out that something was off, "It's time isn't it? Oh Jesus Hap."

Happy pulled her into his chest, "No tears baby girl. I'm gonna be fine, I need you to be hard for me, please."

Kayla shook her head and pulled away kissing him one more time. Happy's head snapped at the sound of several cars pulling into the lot behind Jax's bike. Happy grabbed her face and kissed her once one, "Go stand with your mother, she's gonna need you." Kayla nodded and went to stand next to her mother.

Stahl got out of her car and looked around, "Tell me where he is. I know you have Jimmy O here and I need you to deliver him to me NOW!"

Clay chuckled, "We have no idea what you're talking about."

Stahl smirked, "Either give him to me or I'll have an army of agents rip this place apart."

Clay sighed motioning to Juice and Tig who opened the garage and reappeared with a gagged and tied Jimmy O. Stahl walked over to him and smiled motioning for her agents to put him in the car. Stahl turned and smirked at the members of SAMCRO, "You can thank your VP for cutting a deal with the ATF, you boys will only be gone for three years. If you're good and don't kill anyone it will be fourteen months."

Jax charged at Stahl, "You bitch! You've killed me!"

Everything moved in slow motion as the agents started pulling the guys to toward the paddy wagon. Gemma was screaming next to Kayla, Kayla kept her arms around her mother's waist. Gemma just kept screaming, "Clay he had no choice, please Clay!"

Kayla held her mother who sank to the ground, clinging to her. Kayla's eyes never left Happy, as he stepped up into the wagon he looked at her and gave her a nod. She nodded back and he disappeared from her sight. Kayla held her mother and finally let her own tears flow, it was going to be a long fourteen months.

**-Hard to Love-**

A week after the guys had been taken Kayla was still moping around the house. She went to work, checked on her mother, and made sure to take care of business at the clubhouse. But she felt like she was slowing going into Happy withdraw. She came home from school after a really long day and Kozic was standing in the kitchen smirking at her. Kayla hugged Simone, who had sold her business in Tacoma and was in the middle of opening a new one in Lodi. Kayla looked at Kozic, "What?"

Kozic smiled throwing a letter toward her, "Your man sent you mail."

Kayla squealed as she ran upstairs slamming the door she sat down on the bed staring at the writing. She opened the letter. The first thing she saw was a drawing of her; she felt tears in her eyes as her hand traced over the pencil drawing. She smiled wiping at her eyes, he was thinking of her.

Kayla unfolded the letter:

_La, Hey girl how you doing? I hope you like the drawing, I couldn't get you off my mind so I thought I'd put pencil to paper. I know the picture in my mind isn't as pretty as the real thing, but it helps when the lights go out. I'm sharing cells with Tig, he's a fucking freak and you just don't want to know. Fourteen months baby and I'll be home. How's the peanut? Are you eating? Make sure you listen to Koz; if you're not I'll fucking know! Can't wait to see you, La. Love you girl, Hap_

Kayla collapsed back on the bed rubbing her stomach, "He misses us little one. Your daddy misses us." She sighed sitting up on the bed, two weeks till visitation and she felt like she might explode.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy sat at the table his leg bouncing as he waited for her, he couldn't believe that it had only been three weeks, but he was craving being with her. He got a letter from her almost every week, sometimes twice if he was lucky and when he didn't get one Tig did. Damn he missed her. He steeled his face as she walked into the visitor's room wearing a pair of skinny jeans, white rebooks and a white peasant top. She smiled at him as she walked toward him. Damn he did miss her.

Kayla walked over to him and felt tears threatening her eyes, "Hey big man."

Happy swallowed hard, "Hey, La."

Kayla sat down across from him, his hand going to hers and squeezing her hand hard, "Damn girl, I've missed you. How's the peanut?"

Kayla wiped at a tear, "Peanut's great. How's daddy?"

Happy snickered, "He's fine, pissed that your visiting me and not him. He's probably out in the yard fucking with Juice."

Kayla nodded looking down at his hands, noticing some bruising across his knuckles, she looked up at him and scowled, "What happened?"

Happy rubbed the top of her hand, "Ain't nothin' I couldn't handle, damn Juice is just too fucking pretty for his own good. Tig and I are always protecting his honor. How's school?"

Kayla smirked, "It's great, almost done for the year. Looking forward to spending the summer taking classes at Lodi Community College. Kozic keeps me busy, he's got me going to meeting and helping mom organize her charity shit."

Happy grinned, "No calendars this year."

Kayla laughed, "No calendars unless there's the pregnancy are us, ones."

Happy stared at her wedding ring, "Damn girl, I miss you so fucking much."

Kayla felt tears welling up in her eyes again, she gave his hand a squeeze, "Well don't get caught next time dumbass."

Happy gave her a cocky smile, "You've got a mouth on ya while I've been in here. Have to beat that shit out of ya."

Kayla bit down on her lip, "I can only hope."

Happy set his head down on the table and shaking his head back and forth laughing. Kayla couldn't help it she reached out and ran her hand down the back of his shaved head. Happy thought he would cum right there, he groaned. A guard barked out a reminder to keep the touching to hands only and Kayla nodded at him. Happy looked back at his girl and saw how sad she was, he squeezed her hands, "Fuck La, I'm so damn sorry. Can I do anything?"

Kayla shook her head, trying to keep her overly hormonal tears at bay, "I'm fine. Let's talk about the others, how's Bobby?"

When it was time to go, Happy had never hated anything more. She promised to get by to see his mom and that she would see him next month. She stayed seated while the guard patted him down and walked him back through the doors toward his cell. He fucking hated this.

When Kayla came out of the visitor's center, Kozic threw his smoke on the ground; he could tell she had been crying. He sighed as she got closer, "How's the big bald bastard?"

Kayla started crying falling against his chest, "His knuckles were all banged up. What if he gets hurt in there? What will I do if I have to raise this baby alone?"

Kozic sighed wrapping his arms around her, "Come on sweet cheeks, we've been through this a million times, he's as bad ass as they come. Just take a breath. You didn't cry in there did you?"

Kayla pulled away and shook her head, "No, I did what you told me to. I didn't tell him anything that would upset him. I just told him I missed him."

Kozic kissed the top of her head, "You did good sweetheart. Come on let's get you home and feed you and the kid."

Kayla took one last look at the prison and wished fourteen months would come and go, she just needed him with her."

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy came back from the yard and found a letter on his bunk. He pulled himself up onto of the bed and opened it. The first thing he saw was a black and white sonogram picture, there was a circle drawn on it and an arrow pointing to it. Next to the arrow was the words, _'It's a boy'_. He grinned from ear to ear; he looked up and saw Tig staring at him. He handed him the picture and Tig smiled, "A boy, Jesus Christ that's awesome."

Happy nodded, they had been inside for six months and his visits with Kayla and her letters were his highlights as he fought to behave himself inside. When he went to open the rest of the letter another sonogram picture fell out and he picked it up swallowing hard, he looked at Tig going pale, "Shit."

Tig stared at him, "What?"

Happy handed him the second picture, it had a smiley face on it and said, '_It's a girl'_. Tig grinned at him, "Damn man you're having twins. I can tell you how bad that sucks but judging from your face you already know. At least it's a boy and a girl and not two girls."

Happy sat in stunned silence for the longest time just holding the pictures of his kids in his hands. What the hell was he going to do with two fucking kids? He unfolded the letter:

_Hey big man, I hope you're not having a heart attack, Koz and Quinn have a pool going that you probably fell over dead when you saw the pictures of our two little ones. That's right Mr. Lowman, your swimmers are some strong bastards, we're having twins. I couldn't believe it when the doctor told me. Mom is going nuts decorating everything. I'm glad we have the extra storage closet upstairs, Mom is having the prospects turn it into a little nursery. Piney has been so fun to watch ordering them around while he sits on the couch keeping me company. I might not be able to come to our next visit; the doctor said I've been overdoing it a bit. Don't worry I dropped out of the classes I was taking and staying off my feet. Which I can barely see now. Kozic has taken to calling me the great pumpkin, I might have to kill him. Well we miss you baby and can't wait till you're home with us. All my love forever, La._

Happy looked at Tig who was standing at the bars of their cell, "She's been overdoing it. Docs making her rest, she might not make the visit."

Tig nodded, "Dawn and Fawn's mom was on bed rest early. It's hard on their bodies carrying two. She'll be fine. I'm sure Kozic is all over her ass. She'll be fine. Lots of changes when we get back, sure you're up to it daddy?"

Happy smirked, "What about you grandpa?"

Tig just shook his head flipping him the bird and settling down on his bunk. Happy sat there staring at the pictures of his two kids wishing more than anything he could be with her.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kozic stood at the end of the bed, his arms crossed, "I mean it Kayla, you're not going. Now I've got Piney on watch today. Up to pee that's fucking it. You heard the doctor, if your heart rate and blood pressure don't settle down their gonna put you in the fucking hospital."

Kayla had tears running down her face, "But it's just there and back. I'll keep my legs up the whole time and I promise I won't get upset. I just need to see him. Make sure he's alright. Please Koz, please!"

Kozic sighed running his hand over his face; Happy owed him big fucking time for dealing with all this hormonal bullshit. "No, and that's final. I'll take him anything you want, but you are staying in bed. Chibs and Katherine brought over all those movies for you, fucking watch them. Go through the baby name book your mom brought over, I don't give a fuck, but you're not moving."

Kayla sighed flopping back on the bed, "Why do I have to stay in Tig's room? There's shit in here that I shouldn't know about the man I think of as my dad."

Kozic snickered, "Just don't open the dresser or the closet and you'll be fine. We talked about this; doc said stairs are too much for you. Now I've brought down everything you'll need."

Kayla sniffled, "Will you bring me his kutte from the closet? Please! It smells like him."

Kozic sighed, she had been doing so good till this fucking bed rest thing, but he knew how much she missed him. He nodded his head, "Alright and then I'm going, I want your word that you'll be good for Piney while I'm gone." Kayla nodded as he retreated upstairs to her and Happy's room. When he left her she was half asleep cuddled up with Hap's kutte, Kozic wanted the next eight months to past quicker.

An hour and half later he walked into the visitor's center and watched as Happy's face turned into something feral. Happy stood up, "Where the fuck is she?"

Kozic held up his hands, "Calm down man. Just sit and I'll tell you everything."

Happy clenched his fists in front of him as Kozic sat, "Why isn't she here?"

Kozic sighed, "Doc put her on bed rest. She passed out the other night at the clubhouse and gave us all a scare. She's been keeping busy trying to keep her mind off of shit. The doc had told her she was overdoing it a week ago and she dropped those classes she was taking at the college, thinking that would help. But after spending a night in hospital, it finally set in that she needs to just sit her ass down and let the kiddos bake a little bit longer."

Happy clenched his jaw, "Is she alright? What about the kids?"

Kozic nodded, "They're all fine. Kayla's heart rate and blood pressure are up, but their better since she's been on bed rest. Piney is sitting with her today. She was a mess when I left; she really wanted to be here. You want to see a picture they let me bring in?"

Happy nodded, Kozic pulled the picture out of his pocket and handed it to Happy. Happy stared at it, Kayla was sitting on Tig's bed cross legged, with her hair up in a messy ponytail, her glasses on, and one of his SAMCRO shirts was pulled tight around her huge belly. Happy smirked, "At least she's smiling."

Kozic nodded, "She had me take a picture of her every week, she's making you a scrap book so you don't miss anything. That was the other night when we got back from the hospital. She's gonna be fine. Her mom and the other old ladies are taking real good care of her. Quinn's wife has been down a lot and Simone is going to be her labor coach. She's doing great."

Happy nodded, he looked up at Kozic, "I didn't think it would be this hard. I've done time, fuck I've done longer stints, but this one is killing me man. If I don't get a letter every fucking day I worry till the next one comes. It's ripping me up inside that she's not with me."

Kozic nodded, "I know man, but we're all keeping a close eye on her. Her nightmares are bad some nights, but they're getting farther apart. Not to mention she hasn't missed a meeting while you've been in here, she's doing good. Once they kids pop out she'll be back to her normal."

Happy nodded, "Thanks man for taking care of her, while I'm in here."

Kozic nodded, "It's my job man, that kids like me and Tiggie's love child or something."

Happy roared with laughter, "I'll tell him you said that brother."

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla had been lying in bed for over an hour the cramps were getting closer together and she knew she needed to wake up Kozic and Simone, but she didn't want to send everyone running to the hospital for a false alarm. When she felt a wave of water flow down her legs she whimpered, she was doing this without him, it wasn't his fault, but she was scared. She stood up and slowly made her way across the hall and knocked softly on the door, when no one answered she opened the door slowly praying Kozic had pants on.

Kayla cleared her throat, "Koz, Simone?"

Simone popped her head up, "You alright?"

Kayla shook her head no, "My water just broke."

Kozic snapped up in bed, "Shit, your water broke, fuck." He jumped up from the bed naked and Kayla shielded her eyes. He threw on his pants, looking like a crack addict looking for his next fix. Kayla started laughing when in his half awake state he fell over pulling on his boots.

Simone laughed, "Ok, everyone slow down. Herman get her bag in the kitchen and put it in the car. Kayla how far apart are they?"

Kayla looked down at her cell phone, "About three minutes."

Simone nodded, pulling on her sweat pants and moving toward Kayla, "Ok, Herman will make the calls when we get to the hospital; you just focus on your breathing."

It took hours and Kayla was exhausted. Her mother was in the room with the video camera, Simone was at her head helping her through the delivery and Tara was given special permission to assist the doctor with the birth, since the twins were a few weeks early. When Kayla finally pushed out the first baby, she felt like her heart would burst, little Victor Alexander Lowman came screaming into the world just before the dawn the next morning. Tara took him and while she was checking him out Kayla felt the need to push again, she struggled with the second baby, at one point the doctor wanted to perform a c-section, but Kayla was able to soldier through. Little Nora Sophia was born sometime after eight that morning.

Once they got Kayla cleaned up, they set her two children into her arms. Kayla cried staring at the two perfect little dark skinned babies. Vic had dark eyes like his dad, while Nora had blue eyes like her mom. Gemma cried as she took a short video message that Kozic and Quinn were taking too Happy that afternoon.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy had been outside when the guard came to get him, saying he had visitors. He figured it was Rosen, because he wasn't due for a visit for a few days yet. As he sat watching the door he was shocked when Koz and Quinn came walking in. Happy stood right away, his heart beating in his chest, if something happened to her or one of the babies he didn't know what he would do. But Kozic smiled at him, "Miss me?"

Happy shook his head at the man. Quinn motioned him to sit down pulling out a small video camera from his hoodie pocket. "They let us bring this in so you could see them."

Happy stared at his two brothers, "She had them? Are they alright? How is she?"

Kozic smiled, "Just watch brother." He turned on the camera and Happy watched the small screen.

Kayla smiled at the camera holding two small bundles in her hands, "Hey big man. Our little people couldn't wait to greet the world so they came early." He watched as she handed one of the babies to Simone and she picked up the other one taking the blanket off. Happy could see the blue reaper beanie on his head. Kayla looked exhausted, but beautiful, "This daddy is Victor Alexander Lowman, Victor for your middle name and Alexander for Tig, he came first. His eyes are closed but they are black like yours." Kayla adjusted the baby so he looked like he was waving at the camera, "Say hi to daddy Vic, say hi and tell him to come home soon." Happy watched as Kayla rewrapped the little guy and traded Simone for their daughter. When she unwrapped her, she had a little pink reaper beanie on, Kayla smiled at the camera, "Now Nora Sophia, I hope you like that. It's for your mom and your aunt, she has blue eyes like me and she gave me a hard time. She wasn't wanting to come out and meet the world yet. Can you wave to daddy baby girl? Tell him we love him and we can't wait till he's home." Kayla looked up at the camera both babies now back in her arms and tears in her eyes, "We miss you and can't wait till you come home. Please be safe. We'll come see you as soon as they let us. We love you, big man."

Happy stared at the screen as it went black; he wiped at his eyes and looked up at his brothers who were grinning like idiots, "She did good?"

Kozic nodded, "She did great. Gave birth to both of them without any drugs. She was a fucking champ. You can tell Tig to blow me that she named that boy after him, pissed me off."

Happy laughed, "Next one we'll name Herman."

Quinn laughed, "That's fucking mean, who'd saddle a kid with that name, now Rane is a great name."

Kozic pulled out a photo from his pocket and handed it to Happy, "The guards said you could keep it." Happy looked down it was a picture of Kayla with both the babies close up. He could really see their little faces. He was so damn proud of his girl he couldn't stand it.

When he made it out to the yard the others came right up to him. He smiled, "She's fine, had them this morning. Victor Alexander and Nora Sophia are healthy and doing great."

Tig nodded his head, "Victor Alexander? Damn I love that girl."

After a round of congrats from the guys Happy pasted around the picture of his little family his heart felt like it would break out of his chest. His girl did real good.

**Ok, twins…teehee….poor Happy. Couldn't help myself. I just love writing A/U…Hope you enjoyed. I'll finish up the prison next chapter and start the new story arc! Hope you have a great night! Kaye**


	16. Changes Are Coming

Chapter 16…..Changes Are Coming

**Well, I'm sorry it took so long to get back to this one, but I've been writing like a mad woman on 'Breathe a Sigh'. I can't believe we are already to the season finale, my only complaint is that Jax is such a douche this season, I love Jax but man why can't JT show up and kick his ass…LOL. Ok well enough of my rant, off we go….Time for poor Happy to get ready for the changes that poor Happy will be walking into and of course the new story arc…there's a few of them**** Enjoy the ride! Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

Two weeks after the birth of her beautiful, cranky babies Kayla stood in front of her closet trying to figure out what to wear to go see their father. The doctor had finally given the three of them the green light to go visit and Kayla couldn't wait. Rosen had been by in the morning, letting her know that Happy could hold the babies, but she still wasn't allowed to touch anything but his hands. She sighed when Vic started fussing in his bassinet. When she walked over and looked down at him his black eyes were piercing, "I just fed you little man, what's your damage?" When she picked him up he started rooting around on her breasts. Kayla sighed; this little boy was for sure a boob man just like his dad. She sat on the edge of the bed nursing; she heard a light rap on her door. She moved Vic, who was now sleeping, back to his bassinet and opened the door, surprised to see Tara standing there.

Tara looked at her with red rimmed eyes, "I'm sorry to bother you; I didn't know who to talk to."

Kayla motioned for her to come into the bedroom, "What's the matter?"

Tara sat down in the recliner in the corner, her elbows resting on her knees, "I don't know what to do. Wendy showed up today at the hospital demanding she get to see Abel. What am I going to do?"

Kayla knelt down in front of her, "Call Rosen, make sure all your legal ducks are in a row. Then make sure someone is always with him; we won't let her get away with this. Tonight when I get back we'll have dinner here. You, me, Lyla, Lynn, and Simone, we'll come up with something. Just breathe."

Tara and Kayla stood up and hugged. Tara looked over at the bassinets, "Today's the day right?"

Kayla nodded, "I hope he likes them, hell I hope he likes me still. I've gained weight. I wish I could wait a few more weeks to get this baby weight off, but Koz said I'm being stupid."

Tara smiled at her, "You look great and you hardly gained any weight. He loves you. I'll see you tonight and thanks."

After Tara left Kayla went back to her finding the right outfit. Once she settled on one of her prettier maternity tops and jeans. She gave both the babies a bath and changed them into their best outfits. Vic had on a tiny pair of jean overalls with a black tee shirt, little tiny white Nike shoes and his black reaper beanie. Nora had on a white and pink dress, little white dress shoes with lacey socks, and a white bonnet. When they were all dressed Kayla laughed to herself, she needed a nap just from getting them all dressed.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy sat at the table, his hands folded so hard he thought he would break one of his hands. When she came in, he started vibrating. Sundays were family visitation at the prison, the room was filled with kids and old ladies, but this was the first time his old lady and his kids were coming to see him. He watched her carrying the two car seats, her face was glowing, her smile huge. She put the babies down on the table, "Hey big man."

He nodded to her, she looked tired, but she looked radiant. "Hey La, miss me?"

She nodded her head; she looked down at the car seats and took out Victor. She smiled stepping to his side of the table, "Daddy, I'd like to introduce you to your son, Vic this is your daddy."

Happy swallowed hard as she eased the little boy into his arms. Happy stared at him, his little hands, the way his black eyes looked back at Happy. Vic took his little hand and gripped Happy's finger, Happy laughed, "Jesus he's got a grip. You got a grip little man? You a little bad ass like your old man? Damn baby you did fucking awesome."

Kayla laughed now holding Nora in her hands, "You want to meet your princess daddy?"

Happy looked up at her, "How the hell do I hold them both?"

Kayla smiled as she helped him readjust Vic so she could ease Nora into his arms. He sat there just staring at her little nose and her blue eyes, "Damn La, she looks just like you."

Vic started to fuss and Happy looked at her, "What's wrong? What did I do?"

Kayla took the baby from him and cradled him close to her; he started rooting around for her boob. Happy raised an eyebrow at her. Kayla grinned, "He's a total boob man. He can't get enough."

Happy smirked his hand going up her leg, "Yes like his daddy."

Kayla sat down next to Happy and they talked about the babies, how things were going around the clubhouse, if she had enough help. When Nora stared to fuss Kayla leaned over the table to grab one of her pacifiers and Happy felt his crotch go hard, "Damn, I love that ass."

Kayla looked at him, "You'd fuck me right here if you could."

Happy growled at her, "Fuck ya. In front of God and kids and all. Damn I miss you."

Kayla sat down and leaned over to put the pacifier in Nora's little mouth, when she did Happy got a great view of her tits. When she looked up at his eyes seeing them trained on her chest she laughed, "You know I'm breast feeding."

Happy growled again, looking down at Nora who was falling asleep, "You hear that little girl, don't be like mommy. She's a tease."

The visit was wonderful and Kayla even got one of the guards to take a picture of the four of them. When it was time to say goodbye, it was harder this time. Once Kayla had gotten both the babies strapped back into their car seats he grabbed her hand, his thumb tracing a pattern on the back of her hand, "You gonna be alright, La?"

Kayla sighed, trying to bite down the tears, her voice was soft, "I miss you so much. I just can't wait for you to come home." She looked up at him and a tear rolled down her cheek.

Happy wiped the tear away; Kayla leaned into his hand, "Only seven more months to go La. Please hang in there for me."

Kayla nodded, straightening herself up and smiling, "I'm doing fine. It's just leaving is hard. I promise I'll be fine, I have part of you with me now." She smiled and glanced down at the sleeping babies.

Happy let his hand drop when the guard came closer, "Seven months baby, that's all it is, we're half way through this."

Kayla nodded, leaning over so that their noses almost touched, "I'm gonna be just fine, I'm a tough old lady. You just keep your promise and get home safe, you hear me?" She looked around and quickly licked her tongue across his lips and pulled back before the guard could see.

Happy was frozen, he was afraid to move, if he did he would pull her down right there and end up in solitary confinement. He smirked at her, "I'm going to punish you for that La."

She took her seat when the guards came in to pat down the prisoners, she smiled wickedly at him, "I'm counting on it. I love you."

Happy felt the guard behind him, he turned and looked at the man, "Can I kiss my kids goodbye?" The guard nodded. Happy leaned down and put a kiss on each child's head.

He heard the guard, "Go ahead Lowman, kiss your wife, make it quick."

Happy's smile was so wide Kayla felt her knees knock together. He leaned down and kissed her hard, letting his tongue invade her, the guard cleared his throat and Happy pulled back, his hand ghosting her cheek, "I love ya La."

Kayla watched as the guard patted him down, Happy's eyes never leaving hers. She mouthed 'I love you' again as he turned and disappeared back into the prison.

When she got outside her mother was waiting for her. Gemma smiled and took Nora from her, "How'd it go baby?"

Kayla smiled, "The guard let him kiss us goodbye. He loved them ma, he really did."

Gemma smiled at her daughter as they put the babies in the back seat, "Of course he did, you're his family. Now let's get home and get ready for your dinner tonight."

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla got the babies down to bed early and made sure there was plenty of food when the other old ladies got there. They were lounging around drinking wine and eating pizza. Kayla stood up, "Ok, girls we have a problem Wendy is back. Now we need to figure out what we need to do about it."

Gemma looked around at the girls, "We should tell the boys about this."

Lynn had been quiet most of the night, but she looked at Gemma, "This is our problem, not theirs we have to solve this ourselves."

Kayla nodded, "I agree. Opie and Chibs have their hands full taking care of everything else. What can we do?"

Gemma snorted, "I don't know girls. I gave the little bitch a dose of crank that should've killed her, I don't think there's a lot you can do."

Tara looked up at Kayla, "Maybe we just need to give her enough to help her fall off the wagon."

Kayla smirked, "Just enough to make her relapse. I think I know who can get us that. Lyla isn't there a dealer that still comes around Caracara?"

Gemma stood up, "Oh hell no! This is nuts, I won't have you girls go getting yourselves in trouble. Hell Kayla Nicole, you're in recovery."

Kayla sighed, "Mom I've never done crank and I'm not going to start. This about keeping your grandbaby safe. Now you're either going to help or you should leave, you pick."

Gemma sat there quiet for a moment, then she got up and kissed Kayla on the head, "I'm going home and I'm going to pretend I didn't hear any of this. Just cover your asses." Kayla watched her mother walk out the door.

Lyla looked at Kayla, "Alright, tell me what you need."

**-Hard to Love-**

It had been a long day at school for Kayla, she had finally started back after maternity leave and the kids were glad to see her, but her room was a miss, her grades weren't entered in the computer. She had a shit load of work to finish up. She was sitting at her desk trying to get things caught up when Ethan Zobelle walked into her classroom. She looked up and her heart skipped several beats, she unfroze and grabbed her gun from her purse. She stood the gun trained on him, "I think you should leave Mr. Zobelle."

Ethan Zobelle laughed, putting his hands up, "Calm down Mrs. Lowman, I'm just here giving you some information that you might find useful." He threw a file folder down on the desk, "I think it's worth a look. We both want the same thing Mrs. Lowman, we want Clay Morrow stopped. You have a good day."

Kayla watched as he left. Once he was gone she ran to the door and locked it, then she called Opie telling him that Zobelle had been there. He told her to stay put and someone would be there to pick her up. She eased herself behind her desk staring at the envelope; she took two deep breaths and opened it. Inside was a police report about her father's death, some of it she didn't understand.

She slipped through the other papers and her heart stopped on a DNA report. It had been ran by her father on her not long after Thomas had died. She sobbed when she saw that she was not a match, JT wasn't her father. Kayla sobbed holding the paper in her hands, if JT wasn't her father then who the fuck was, and if he knew is that why didn't he say anything?

Kayla hadn't felt the need to drink more in her life as she laid her head down on her desk. She didn't know how long she was sitting there; her head was too wrapped in the memories of the man she thought was her father. JT holding her on his shoulders to watch fireworks. The two of them sneaking up behind her mother with the garden hose. JT tucking her into bed at night, kissing her head and telling her how proud he was of her. It had all been a lie.

She was snapped out of her trance by a pounding on the door. When she got to the door she saw Opie standing there, she flung her arms around his waist and sobbed. Opie didn't know what to do, he just patted her back, "It's alright Kayla, relax. Do you think you're alright to drive?"

Kayla pulled away from him and nodded her head, "I just need to get my things."

Kayla went to her desk and put the papers back into the envelope, she wasn't going to talk to anyone about them yet. She still needed to wrap her head around what they meant.

**-Hard to Love-**

Clay Morrow frowned as he walked toward his brothers. He had just had a visit with Opie who told him about Zobelle's visit to Kayla. Clay hated telling Happy and Tig that their girl was in the line of fire yet again. What the fuck did Zobelle want with her? Why would he just stop in?

Clay sat down at the picnic table that all the guys were hanging around, "Talk to Op. We have some problems at home, seems our good friend Zobelle has showed up again."

Tig shook his head, "Everyone alright?"

Clay sighed, "Remember we need to keep our heads about us, we only have a few more months and then we're out of here. He stopped by and saw Kayla."

Happy was on his feet, his body was alive with energy, "WHAT THE FUCK? IS SHE OK? ARE THE KIDS OK?"

Clay stood up, putting his hand on Happy's shoulder, "They are just fine. Op has them at the clubhouse for now. He just showed up to rattle her cage and ours. He can't get to us with the protection we have in here so he's just trying to get us to slip up in here. Now Op said they haven't seen him before or since, it was just a matter of getting us to lose it and then we'll be in here for three years. Now I promise you that everything is fine."

Tig had his hands on his hips, staring at the ground, "This can't happen again Clay, she can't be in the center of shit. She has her hands full with the kids, work, and her own issues."

Clay took a step toward Tig; he was starting to get pissed. He hated how everyone seemed to have a soft spot for his step daughter, "I know that Tig, don't you think I know that? Jesus Christ, there's nothing we can do in here. I was just trying to let you all know. Are you all with me? I need all of you if we're going to make it out in a few months."

Tig nodded his head, "Yeah I'm with you." Happy stared at Tig; he could tell that Tig's loyalty was to Kayla first, he could also tell that Tig didn't trust Clay where Kayla was concerned.

Happy nodded to Clay, "Yeah, we're good, but I want my family taken care of."

Clay sat back down and looked around the yard, "No problem brother, Op said it's already done."

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla was running on steam, she had finally gotten the babies to bed and assured Kozic that she was fine. She sat down with the envelope that Zobelle had given her and began reading through the reports. The police reports seemed to point to the fact that John Teller didn't die in an accident, but it looked like someone had tampered with his bike. Kayla reread the report several times, John Teller had been murdered, she swallowed hard only one person stood to gain everything when John died and that was Clay.

Kayla pulled her legs up under herself and hugged her knees. She wiped at tears in her eyes staring at her two sleeping children in the playpen next to the bed. She had them to think about, when Jax got out of prison she would give them to him. He could deal with this; she was done putting herself in the line of fire for the club.

Her eyes went back to the DNA test; she had to talk to her mother. She had to know who her father was. Now she knew what Ethan Zobelle meant, he wanted her to expose Clay for killing JT, but he also thought that Clay might be her father and that sent shivers up her spine. She couldn't have Clay Morrow's blood flowing through her veins. She just couldn't.

Kayla checked the kids one more time and she slipped into the clubhouse. It was silent; Op and Chibs were home with their wives. She could hear Kozic and Simone down the hall. She knew that Rat and Miles were running an errand for Op and Filthy Phil always spent Tuesday nights with his mother. She went in and sat down at the bar just staring at the bottles. It would be so easy to take a drink and who would blame her? Her husband was in prison, she was juggling twins almost by herself, she had a visit from a monster, and now she knew her father wasn't really her father.

She felt the old need filling her mind again. She heard a noise and turned to see Simone standing there. Simone gave her a weak smile, "You alright?"

Kayla shook her head, "Can you ask Koz to come out, please."

Simone nodded, "I'll go sit with the kids."

A few minutes later Kozic came into the common room. He walked over and sat next to her at the bar, lighting a smoke for him and then her. They sat there in silence for a few minutes. He finally sighed, "You have to be strong right now."

Kayla nodded, squeezing his hand but her eyes were still on the bottles of whiskey behind the bar, "I have to be strong for my babies and my old man. I know that. I have to be strong for myself, so I don't lose myself again. But when does it get easier?" She turned to Kozic tears building up in her eyes. He pulled her into a hug and held her.

He finally let her go, "Come on, get dressed. There's a late meeting at St. Bart's. We'll have Simone watch the rug rats."

Kayla shook her head, "No, I'll go. You stay here."

Kozic grabbed her hand, "I need one too. You're not the only one that weak. Simone just told me I'm going to be a dad, I'm scared shitless right now kid. I love her, but I've never seen myself as a father. So I need a meeting too."

**-Hard to Love-**

Tig sat reading his letter from Kozic. Kozic had been sending him updates from time to time on Kayla. Both men were still worried about her staying sober, especially with twins and being on her own. They knew that Hap being away from her was going to be hard on her, but so far she had been doing good. Until the shit with Zobelle.

Tig stood up and ran a tired hand over his face. Happy was lying on his bunk reading a magazine. "Hap we have a problem."

Hap looked at him, "What the hell is wrong?"  
Tig sighed, "Our girl is starting to struggle a little. Kozic said she was close to slipping right after the whole Zobelle visit. He got her to a meeting, but he said something is weighing on her, but she's not talking. I think you need to have a talk with her when she comes next time."

Happy sighed, "I fucking hate being in here. She hasn't used right?"

Tig shook his head, "No, she's fine. He thinks she's shutting him out about something. Maybe you can get it out of her."

Happy stared at the ceiling of their cell; she was coming in a week. He would have a good talk with her, maybe he could figure out what the hell had her so upset.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla sat waiting for him at the table; both babies were sound asleep in their carriers. She couldn't wait to see him, they were down to three months and it was slowly eating away at her. She needed him. Needed him to be beside her in bed, needed him to be there to hold her when shit just got too much for her.

When Happy finally came into the room she smiled at him. Glad to finally see him. He smiled back at her, their hands wrapping together when he sat down across from her. He looked from one carrier to the other, "Shit, La. They're so big. I swear they've grown so much since last time."

Kayla smiled looking at their children, "I know baby, they are so good too. They have a lot of patience with me."

Happy grabbed her hands with his, staring into her eyes, "How are you doing, La? And don't bullshit me; I know shit is off at home. Koz told Tig you're struggling, is it because of Zobelle?"

Kayla sighed, staring at their hands that were locked together, "He brought me something."

Happy's face was hard when she looked up, "What the fuck did he bring you and why didn't I hear about that?"

Kayla swallowed hard, she tried to pull her hands away from his but he held on tight. "Kayla, knock off your shit and tell me what the fuck is going on!"

Kayla closed her eyes, "He gave me a DNA test JT had done right after Thomas died, it said I wasn't his daughter. I had Tara look at it, she did some digging and found a couple at the hospital in the archives, it's true, I'm not JT's daughter."

Happy stared at her, "Shit, La, you have to tell someone."

Kayla wiped a tear from her face, "I did, I told you. Zobelle is just trying to rattle me up. I'm rattled, but I think he wants me to use, that way Op and Chibs will be too busy taking care of me to pay attention to him. I'm doing ok. It's just hard and I don't know what to say to my mom. Jesus, maybe she doesn't even know."

Happy ran his thumb over her cheek, "Baby at least tell Kozic. He's worried as hell about you. Talk to your mother baby. Don't let this shit eat you up inside."

Kayla nodded, "I won't. I'm going to my meetings and I'm busy with these two. Which we need to wake up." She started to stand and Happy grabbed her wrist, kissing the inside of it. Kayla reached out and touched his face, "I love you so much Hap."

Happy nodded, "I know girl, I love you too. Do what I said, we'll figure this out, but talk to your mom first. I won't say anything to anyone. You realize your dad is probably a member or a past member."

Kayla nodded, "Yeah, I just hope it isn't Clay, I don't know if I can deal with that."

Happy ran a hand over his bald head, "You'll deal, because you're a Lowman. No matter what the fuck you find out, you're a Lowman now and because of that you'll be fine. I've got your back, La. Just do what I told you too and hand me one of those babies."

**Ok, now you can take guesses who her real dad is….teehee…and don't worry the old ladies have plans for Wendy. Ok, enjoy your week! Hugs! Kaye**


	17. Lucy and Ethel

Chapter 17….Lucy and Ethel

**Ok, this chapter is supposed to be funny. I hope I write it that way, you guys will have to let me know. Now I'm bringing the guys home in this one, but they come home to their hands full because of the Wendy problem. I hope you guys enjoy. A little dark humor**** Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

They were running out of time to deal with the Wendy problem. The girls had been taking turns following Wendy and getting use to her schedule. When the clock started running down on the guys coming home they knew they needed to act. There was no way they could pull off their plan with them home.

So on that Sunday night Kayla got Simone to watch the kids and Lynn's little on Juan Carlos. Simone knew their cover story in case Koz got home early. She was supposed to tell him that the two of them had gone out shopping for lingerie and a late dinner. Lynn had picked up the syringe of heroin from Lyla early in the day. Kayla found it funny that they were now sitting outside of Wendy's house dressed in black with ski masks waiting for the woman to leave for one of her help group meetings.

Once Wendy pulled down the street Kayla and Lynn slipped around to the back of the apartment building. Lynn looked at Kayla, "How the hell are we supposed to get up to her patio? She lives on the second floor."

Kayla rolled her eyes, "I forget you were a good girl. We have to climb on the one on the bottoms railing and pull ourselves up."

Kayla laughed as Lynn just stared at her, the girl's jaw open. Kayla pulled herself up onto the railing of the first floor patio and grabbed Wendy's patio railings and started pulling herself up. She was doing everything she could to get her ass onto the patio. She had been running and working out, but this was a reminder that she wasn't sixteen anymore sneaking out of her bedroom. She heard laughing from below her, when she finally put her feet on the solid patio; she glared down at Lynn, "What's so funny?" She yelled in a whisper.

Lynn laughed quietly pulling herself onto the first floor patio railing, "Your ass hanging off the patio, Jesus that was funny."

Kayla gave her a sarcastic laugh, "Laugh it up, not all of us can be build like a fourteen year old boy."

Lynn shot her a look, "Hey, you be nice or I'll throw you off when I get up there."

When Kayla finally helped pull Lynn up, she smirked at her, "I bet your ass looked funny too."

Lynn glared at her, "Are we gonna do this or would you like to kiss my ass."

Kayla chuckled as they made their way into the apartment. She was just walking into the bedroom when Lynn ran right into her back. Kayla turned around and sighed, "If you don't watch you're gonna have to be surgical removed from my ass." Lynn started to laugh just as they heard the key in the door.

The two women ran into the bedroom looking for a place to hide. Wendy was supposed to be gone for at least two hours, she must of forgotten something. Lynn hid in the closet, while Kayla hid behind the bedroom door. Both of them trying to quiet their beating hearts.

Wendy Teller had forgotten her cell phone. As she made her way into her bedroom she had no idea that there was anyone else in her apartment. She grabbed her phone and turned around, her eyes going to Kayla who wasn't quite hidden behind the door. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Kayla tried to think of Abel in Tara's arms, she didn't even remember to pull down her ski mask. She advanced on Wendy the two women rolling around on the floor. Wendy got in a few good punches as Kayla tried to get the cell phone from Wendy's hands. Kayla looked up and saw Lynn standing there scared not sure what to do. "FUCKING HELL LYNN! Do it!"

Lynn nodded her head and finally grabbed a hold of Wendy's arm and pushed the heroin into her arm. Kayla started feeling her body go slack. Kayla stood up and slapped Lynn in the chest, Lynn rubbed her chest, "What the hell Kayla?"

Kayla stood there wiping blood from her lip, "I was losing you retard. Jesus Christ you really did marry the right SON."

Lynn hit her on the shoulder, "Fuck you! I'm an old lady, this setting people up isn't like my day job or some shit."

Kayla rolled her eyes, "Just check her fucking pulse."

Lynn knelt down and put two fingers to Wendy's neck, she looked up at Kayla her eyes wide, "She's d…she's dea…she's dead."

Kayla stared at her, "No, no she's not. Check again."

Lynn rolled her eyes and checked again, "I'm a fucking paramedic Kayla; I can tell you she's dead!"

Kayla paced her hands going to her head, "FUCKING HELL! How did this happen? Wait how much did you give her? Tell me you didn't give her all of it!"

Lynn looked at her, her face going pale, "I….I was scared…don't YELL AT ME!"

Kayla sat down on the bed, "Jesus Christ the plan was simple! We only wanted to give her some of it! Make her look like she had gone off the wagon! Now we fucking killed her."

Lynn stood up and ran a tired hand over her face, "Well the bright side is she won't be a problem again."

Kayla shook her head, "FUCK! What do we do now?" Kayla slapped herself in the head, "Think, think Kayla. Ok, if I was Happy what would I do?"

Lynn looked green, "Oh Jesus what if the guys figure out we did this?"

Kayla walked across the room and grabbed her arms shaking her, "KNOCK IT OFF! They WILL NEVER find out! You hear me? Now pull yourself together."

Lynn shook her head, tears were threatening her eyes. Kayla sighed pulling her into a hug, "Lynn, we can do this; we just have to be smarter than the body."

Lynn nodded, wiping at her cheeks, "I know, I'm sorry. I've never killed someone before."

Kayla looked at her, "Honey you didn't kill her, I did. This was my stupid ass plan. Now grab her legs and we'll put her in the bed, make it look like an overdose."

Lynn took Wendy's legs and the two of them almost had her into the bed, when they both lost their grip and Wendy's body hit the ground with a thump, blood gushing from her head. Kayla groaned, "Jesus Fucking Christ, we can't even do this right."

Lynn started crying again, "Oh Jesus, we're going to jail. I can't go to jail Kayla, I'm too pretty."

Kayla groaned, pointing to the door, "Go out into the living room and don't come back till I tell you too."

Kayla watched her go, she knelt down on the ground and stared at Wendy's body, "You were a bitch in life and now you're a bitch in death. Shit."

Lynn sat on the couch and opened her cell phone, she knew the only way to get out of this mess was to call her dad. When she told Chibs where they were he cursed up a blue streak, telling her to stay put, that he and Op would be there right away.

Within twenty minutes Chibs and Op climbed onto the patio. Lynn smiled at her dad, "Hey da, Op, thanks for coming."

Chibs frowned, pointing a finger at her, "You are in deep shite young lady. Where the fuck is my grandson?"

Lynn laughed nervously, "With Simone."

Op sighed, "Where's the other retard?"

Lynn pointed to the bedroom. When Chibs and Op walked in they couldn't help but laugh. Kayla had half of Wendy's body on the bed, when she tried to get the other half on the body fell off onto the floor. Kayla was pouring with sweat, when she looked up at the two men she sighed, "PLEASE DON'T TELL HAP. I beg of you."

Op laughed walking over to help her with the body, "Can't do that."

Kayla stared at Lynn who was hiding behind her dad, "I can't believe you called them!"

Lynn tried to smile, "I'm sorry, I don't want to go to jail."

Chibs looked at the body, noticing all the bumps and bruises that were now forming on the body, "Aye, you two idiots, need help from the looks of things. Your husbands are not going to be happy tomorrow girls."

Kayla groaned, "Please don't tell Hap, he's gonna kick my ass."

Opie elbowed her in the side, "Not that you deserve it or anything. Just tell me that Lyla had nothing to do with this little plan of yours."

Lynn laughed nervously and Kayla glared at her. Opie sighed, "On second thought I don't want to know. Chibs since these two chuckle heads busted open her head, why don't we throw her down the stairs and call Unser."

Chibs ran a hand over his face, "Aye, get her legs boy. You two go the fuck home and keep your damn mouths shut."

Kayla nodded, she grabbed Lynn's arm and they headed for the front door. Chibs shouted to them, "Oh no lasses out the way you came in."

After they half fell getting off the patio they made their way over to Kayla's car. Once they got in Lynn took a deep breath, "I'm so sorry Kayla."

Kayla gave her a weak smile, "At least you'll be alright. At worst Juice will yell at you, Happy's gonna kill my ass." They rode back to the house in silence both of them now dreading their husbands coming home.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla stood holding Victor as the bikes pulled in; Nora was asleep in her stroller. Kayla felt like she might explode when she saw him pull in on his bike, damn was her guy sexy. She felt her mother's hand on her back, "Go get him, I'll take Vic."

Kayla handed over the little guy and took off in a jog toward her husband. Happy smirked as he started toward her. Kayla jumped up wrapping her legs around her husband's waist, her arms going around his neck; their lips were together in an instant. When she finally unwrapped herself from him, he chuckled, "Miss me or something La?"

Kayla smiled at him, "Oh fuck yeah."

Happy smiled, kissing her again. Kayla let him pull her into his side as they walked toward the babies. Happy scooped up Vic, the little boy getting so excited when his dad threw him up in the air, "Hey big boy you miss your daddy too?" Happy hugged his son and then handed him off to Kayla while he picked up Nora who rubbed her eyes and stared at him wide eyed. Happy kissed her little chubby cheeks, then he grabbed his wife and pulled his family into a long hug, kissing Kayla again. "Damn girl I don't think I could miss someone more than you."

Kayla looked up at him, "I'm so glad you're home baby."

Happy smirked at her, his hand going to her ass, "Did you now? You gonna show me soon?"

Kayla laughed, "As soon as we get home, I'll lay the babies down and I'll show you all kinds of shit."

Happy kissed her again, his tongue caressing hers; they pulled apart when Clay called for Chapel. Happy slapped her ass and grabbed it hard, "Damn girl."

Tig came up behind them and motioned for Vic from Kayla. He smiled at the little boy, "Hey there buddy, Uncle Alex is home! We're gonna watch the playboy channel and I'll even buy you, your first hustler if you're good."

Kayla slapped at him, "No you will not!"

Tig kissed her and handed her back Vic, "Don't be so serious peanut." Tig stopped long enough to kiss Nora before they all disappeared inside the clubhouse.

Lynn walked over with little Juan Carlos, frowning, "Did da tell you we have to stick around."

Kayla nodded, "Yeah, but at least he was happy to see me for a few minutes." She looked down at the kids, "Would you two put in a good word for mommy, cuz daddy is going to kill her. It's really been wonderful being your mommy."

**-Hard to Love-**

Clay was just getting ready to dismiss the group when Chibs leaned forward toward the table, "Before we let you all go home, we had a small situation last night that Op and I took care of, but it involved all of our old ladies as far as we can tell."

Happy sighed and leaned back listening to Chibs tell the story, how the women took it upon themselves to get rid of Wendy. How they didn't mean to kill her just make it look like she was doing drugs again. By the time the story was over he had his elbows leaning on the table and his head in his hands. Jax sighed, "So it was all of them?"

Chibs chuckled, "Well they made sure Tara was at the hospital. Lyla got them the drugs, Simone watched the kids. While Ethel and Lucy went to Wendy's, now I would've beat both their asses but I figured that I'd leave that to you two." He pointed to Happy and Juice who both groaned.

Opie laughed, "I took care of Lyla last night, but they seem to have this whole don't rat bullshit down pat."

Koz snickered, "Simone is grounded too, they were planning this for weeks following Wendy and all kinds of shit."

Jax looked around the table, "Can't even come home without shit hitting the fan. So where are the lovely ladies?"

Chibs smiled, "I told them to keep their arses here. They should be waiting out in the bar."

Happy stared at Clay, "Can we get this over with, I'm gonna ring her fucking neck."

Clay nodded and chuckled as the guys got up from the table. He was just glad his old lady for once had nothing to do with this.

Kayla and Lynn sat next to each other, when the guys came out they grabbed each other's hands and give a squeeze. Kayla smiled sweetly up at Happy, "Hey baby, ready to go home?"

Happy slammed his fist on the table in front of her, he growled through clenched teeth, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

Kayla sighed, "We just wanted to help, take the stress of Chibs and Opie. I know it was stupid and I'm sorry."

Happy moved closer to her, leaning so he pinned her in the chair, his eyes dark, "What if you got caught? Did you dumbasses think of that?"

Kayla just swallowed hard, "I know, it was really stupid. But we really were just trying to help Jax and Tara. We didn't mean to kill her."

Happy picked up her chair a little and slammed it back down making her jump, "Well you did fucking kill her."

Kayla looked around and saw Jax tearing into Tara, Juice was standing real close to Lynn but didn't say anything, but he looked pissed. Lynn grabbed Happy's arm, "I know you're mad, but Kayla and I were just trying to help, Jesus it's not like you and Juice haven't killed people."

Kayla slapped at Lynn, her eyes going to Happy, she knew the younger woman had crossed the line. Kayla's voice was low, "The opinions of my partner in crime are not my own."

Happy stood up and pointed to the clubhouse door, "HOME NOW!"

Kayla sighed walking toward the door, she could feel Happy walking right up against her, he was furious, but she could feel his erection as they walked. Tig shot her a weak smile, he secretly thought it was kind of cute the two retards had tried to take care of the druggie bitch alone, but he wasn't going to get in the way of Hap and her.

Kayla took the kids from her mom, Gemma gave her a hug, she whispered in her ear, "Get him in bed and all will be forgiven."

Kayla sighed, "Yeah." Happy snapped at her from his bike, "MOVE YOUR ASS KAYLA!"

Kayla waved good bye to her mom and buckled the kids into the car. As they drove home she watched his face, he was riding right on her bumper, his face had that nervous tick in his cheek. She sighed as they pulled into the driveway. Happy was off his bike and opening the door getting Nora. Kayla got their bag and Vic. She could hear him grumbling as she opened the door, "Can't fucking be away without you doing something fucking stupid. What the hell were you thinking? I swear to fucking god Kayla, I'm going to beat your fucking ass." She just sighed taking the kids in and putting them in the corner of the room where she had a playpen area set up.

She turned and looked at him, he was standing at the door his whole body was vibrating, "I'm sorry Hap. I really am, this isn't what I wanted to do when you came home. I'll go in the kitchen so you can play with the kids. When it's their nap time we can have this out. I am sorry."

She walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table, pulling her legs up so she could hug them. She let silent tears fall down her face. She could hear Happy in the living room with the kids, she hated that he was so angry at her.

Happy sat on the floor and played with his two beautiful kids. He couldn't believe all the things he missed. Now at eight months old they were both sitting up and crawling all over the place. He couldn't help but laugh as Nora got Vic to hand her a block she wanted. Happy sighed staring at the doorway to the kitchen, she was stupid, she was so fucking stupid, but he had missed her so bad. After an hour the babies started yawning, so he picked them up and went into kitchen. He sighed when Kayla looked up at him, her makeup was smeared on her face, she wiped her cheeks and stood up, "Are they alright?"

Hap gave her a sideways smile, looking at the kids, "Yeah, I think they're hungry and tired."

Kayla walked over to the sink and started making them both a bottle, "I'll get them down for a nap. I usually do it upstairs so I can change them."

Happy shrugged, "I'll help." They worked in silence, Kayla only chuckling a little when he changed Vic's diaper and the boy almost got him in the face. After they were changed, Happy sat on the floor with Vic giving the boy his bottle while Kayla sat in the rocking chair feeding Nora. Happy watched her as she stared at her daughter; she had a peace about her when she was with the kids that he had never seen before. Being a mom looked real good on his girl.

Once they laid them down, Kayla walked into their room and sat down on the bed. Happy followed her into the bedroom closing the door behind him. Kayla stared at the floor; she was scared shitless, she wasn't stupid she knew what they did was against about a million old lady rules.

Happy stood at the dresser slowly taking off his rings and sitting them down. He took off his knife and wallet too. He walked over and stood in front of his wife, he sighed reaching down and moving her so she was looking at him, "You were real stupid, you have those kids to think about. I mean it Kayla, that shit ain't your job, you hear me?"

Kayla nodded, "I'm sorry. I really am. We thought we were helping. Just get it over with, hit me scream at me, whatever you need to do."

Happy sighed, he had never hit her before, no matter how much he'd like too sometimes, he loved her too damn much. He pulled her off the bed, making her shake a little. He traced his thumb across her jaw line, staring into her blue eyes, "I should beat your ass, this might be the single stupidest thing you ever did." Kayla nodded as his thumb brushed against her lips; he leaned in and kissed her, "I should beat your ass." His lips trailing down her neck, he felt her grab onto the back of his kutte. He pulled her hair hard, giving him better access to her neck. "I should beat your ass, but damn I can't, if you tell anyone I'll beat it for sure." His black eyes staring into hers, she smiled and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him with everything she had.

Happy backed her up to the bed, her jeans coming off in one quick movement. Happy was on her, his zipper coming down, her shirt was pulled up and her bra pulled down, he had waited fourteen months and he wasn't waiting any longer. He was in her before she could blink, Happy hissed, "Fuck, La. Just Fuck." He rammed into her, going at her harder than he ever had. He stared down at her face as she screamed and moaned, she liked it. He bit into her collarbone as he came, her coming right along with him. He lay on top of her, they were both panting. Kayla kept kissing him as they both came down from the ride.

Happy was still inside her, he grinned at her like an animal, his lips going to her nipples. Kayla gripped the back of his head, her nails digging into his skin. He chuckled as he thrust inside her again; Kayla gripped the sheets, "Oh my God, Hap." He was ready again, this time; he loved her, licking her skin. Taking his time, almost punishing her with his speed. Going fast and then pulling back, waiting for her to scream out his name. When he finally came again, they were both soaked with sweat. Happy rolled over and pulled her onto his chest. She laid there tracing his ink, her fingers stopping on three hearts that were interlocked, one said Nora, one said Victor, and the last one had an H and K in it.

Kayla looked up at him, "This is new."

Happy chuckled, "You like it baby?"

Kayla nodded, tears filling her eyes, "I really can't believe you're here. I missed you so much. Please don't go away again."

Happy laughed kissing her, "I'll try not to, I missed you too La. You did real good, last night not counting."

Kayla sighed laying back down on his chest, "I think it might've been easier to have you beat my ass."

Happy smirked gripping her ass kneading it, "Oh I think I like this better."

He moved on top of her kissing her as she giggled, he was getting ready to take her again when the sound of Nora playing in her crib came floating through the baby monitor. Happy sighed laying his head on her chest, "Cockblocked by my own daughter."

Kayla laughed, pulling his head back up to her lips, "Make it quick and we can."

Happy raised his eyebrow at her, "You dirty bitch." She squealed as he thrust into her again, God she was glad he was home.

**Ok, the boys are home! I hope it was kind of funny the death of poor Wendy. Ok, off to write on the others! Hope your night is awesome! Hugs, Kaye**


	18. Daddy Blues

Chapter 18….Daddy Blues

**Ok, this one won't be as long as most of my updates, but I think this should be a good one. It will deal with Happy adjusting to being a daddy and of course the issue of who really is Kayla's father. And believe me she is going to need him in the upcoming chapters. Remember the kids are about 9 months old and if a kid hears a word enough….well you know what I mean**** Ok, here we go!**

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla had only been gone an hour, just an hour, but all hell had broken loose. When she left both kids were playing quietly in the playpen, Kayla said she would run to the store and be right back. Well that was an hour ago and now he had Vic on the changing table screaming his head off, oh God was that shit on his hand? Happy could kill a man, but changing a shitty diaper was going to kill him. He gagged and gagged, "God damn little man what is your momma feeding you?"

He felt an empty sippy cup hit him upside his head; he growled looking over at Nora who was standing in her crib with her jumper pants pulled open and her diaper in her hand. She giggled as she peed all over the bed. "JESUS, really? God damn how does your mother do this?"

Nora looked at him and cocked her head, "Gud damm."

Happy's eyes went wide, "No, No, baby girl don't say that…shit!"

Little Vic looked up at him as Happy finished up his diaper, "Shute."

Happy groaned as he put Vic into his crib, he stared at his two children and wondered how the hell he lost control on this situation. He got rid of Vic's shitty diaper, washing his hands a million times, then returned to redress and diaper Nora. When he heard Kayla's voice coming from downstairs, "Where is everybody?"

Happy wanted to cry for happiness, not that he would, but he was out of his league with these two little people. "Up here!"

When Kayla entered the kids room in the small two bedroom house they had bought down the street from Tig and Kozic she laughed. Vic was trying to climb out of his crib, Happy had baby powder all over the changing table and Nora was giggling as he tried to get her little pants on her. Kayla tried to hold in the smirk, "How's it going ?"

Happy glared at her, "I thought you said you'd be right back! What the fuck La? That one over there took a dump. This one you need to talk to she won't keep her fucking clothes on, she pissed all over the crib. Shit!"

Kayla walked over and helped him finish up changing Nora, then she set Nora in Vic's crib and turned to her husband who was trying to clean up the baby powder mess he had made. She walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist, kissing his cheek, "Go, go to the clubhouse and have some fun. Since you guys have been home the last few months you haven't had much fun."

Happy grinned at her pulling her into him, "I know what kind of fun I'd like to have."

Kayla slipped her hand between them cupping his now growing cock, Happy hissed, "Let me clean up in here and I'll rock your world baby, then you can go play with the boys."

Happy slapped her on the ass, "Come on move it woman."

**-Hard to Love-**

Once Happy had been fucked ten ways till Sunday and on his way to the clubhouse, Kayla did something she had been putting off for months, she called Tig. She had seen him earlier in the day when she was grocery shopping and had decided she needed to figure out who her father was, Tig would be the best place to start.

Now sitting in front of him watching him nurse a beer, her courage was draining. Tig eyed her, "Ok doll, why am I here? You said it was important, so I'm here."

Kayla sighed going to her built in desk in the kitchen and coming back with the DNA test that JT had ran. She handed it to Tig and watched him as he read the paper. Tig looked up at her confused, "Where did you get this?"

Kayla took a deep breath, "Ethan Zobelle brought that to me along with a few other things that I handed over to Jax. I have only shared this with you and Happy. I know out of everyone you would tell me the truth, do you think Clay is my father?"

Tig stared at the paper for the longest time, his mind trying to wrap around things. He sighed, looking at Kayla, "I know Clay's not your dad."

Kayla sat up straight and stared at him, "How do you know that?"

Tig grimaced, "He was in Tacoma for over a year. Most of us figured he had fallen in love with Gemma and went up there to get her out of his system. Gemma and Clay started about two years before that, it was around the time that JT first went to Ireland. When Thomas got sick, Clay went to Tacoma, hell you know doll that Thomas was sick for a long time, he rallied right after you were born, but it didn't take long before he was struggling again. Poor kid never had a chance, not with the heart defect. So you thought that Clay was your dad?"

Kayla nodded, "Yeah, I want to talk to mom about this, but we both know that she isn't the most straight forward with shit like this, hell maybe she really thinks I am JT's kid."

Tig looked down at his hands; Kayla could tell he was working through something. Tig took a deep breath and looked up at her, "I think I'm your dad."

Kayla reached across the table and squeezed his hand giving him a smile, "I know, I think of you as my dad too."

Tig shook his head, his eyes welling up, "NO! I think I'm your dad. Gemma was hurting and it's no secret that I've loved that woman in one form or another since I met her. She was upset one night missing Clay and I slept with her, we were drunk, and it never happened again. When you were born with your dark hair and blue eyes I always wondered but knew if I asked it could mean a beating or worse for Gemma, so I protected you the best I could. I think I'm your dad."

Kayla stared at him, not sure what to say, she loved Tig. If a dream could come true it would be that he would be her father, but why didn't he tell her, all these years and he never said anything to her. She felt tears falling from her eyes, "So if you thought I was your daughter, why didn't you say anything? Were you ashamed of me?"

Tig stood up and came to her side of the table kneeling down next to her, "No baby girl. I was young and stupid; I was eighteen when I slept with Gemma, a fucking prospect. She was almost ten years old and the President's wife, I would've been killed and she would've been beat all to hell by MC Law. As you got older, I saw more and more of JT in you, the way you thought out situations, the way you loved someone with all your heart, how loyal you are."

Kayla took in a deep breath, staring at her hands that were folded in front of her; she felt if she looked at him she might break into two. One half of her wanted so badly for him to be her father and the other half was sad that she had missed out on so many years. "But you are all those things too! You love with all your heart and you are so loyal, how could not think that you are my father. Hell look at me, dark curly hair, blue eyes. You just didn't want saddled with another kid."

Kayla pushed away from the table and went to the sink, hugging herself, "Tig I think you should go."

Tig frowned, walking toward her, his hands going to her shoulders, "I hope I am your real dad kid, because if I am, I'm gonna make it up to you for the rest of your life. No matter what I couldn't love you more." He kissed her forehead and left.

Kayla sunk to the floor crying, her eyes out. Thirty minutes later Happy found her in the same spot. Tig had called him and told him what went down between the two of them. Tig also told him that he had called Tara and would be going to the hospital the next day to get the DNA test. Tig wanted him to get Kayla there, so they could find out for sure. Happy had told him he would, but now as he stood staring at his wife, he felt sick for both of them. Tig was sad and he never got that way, now Kayla was staring blankly at the kitchen cabinets, Happy sighed reaching down and picking her up bridal style. She quietly wrapped her arms around his neck, at least with Hap she felt safe.

**-Hard to Love-**

Weeks passed slowly as they waited for the results. Happy watched both Tig and Kayla; he could tell that both of them were really afraid to get hurt. He knew for Kayla, her biggest fear was that Clay was her real father and not Tig. For Tig he knew it was the fact that he loved this girl so much and so deeply, that if she was one of his brother's, it would kill him. They had kept this whole thing between the four of them, him, Tara, Kayla and Tig. There was no reason to upset everyone over something like this until they knew for sure.

Kayla had answered her phone on the first ring when she saw it was Tara. It was a Friday afternoon and she was just finishing up at school, "Tara any news?"

Tara laughed, "Well yes, are you sure you want to know?"

Kayla took a deep breath, "Yeah, I want to know."

Tara paused, "He's a match Kayla, Tig's your father."

Kayla sobbed, "Oh my God, you're sure right?"

Tara smiled against the phone, knowing how excited her sister in law was, "Yes it's ninety nine percent sure."

Kayla couldn't help the tears and the smile, "Thank you so much for this, you don't even know how much this means to me."

After she talked to Tara she went to pick up the kids from Neeta and headed to Teller Morrow. She pulled up and Happy came to the car, he leaned over and pinned her to the car kissing her, his hand going to her hip, "Hey La, miss me so much today you needed to come by?"

Kayla put her hands on his face tears threatening again, "He's my dad babe. He's my dad."

Happy smiled at her, a real smile, he knew how much she wanted Tig to be her real father. He picked her up and swung her around, he sat her down and they kissed again. As they were getting the kids out of the car, Tig walked by on his way toward the clubhouse. He smiled at her, "Hey peanut."

Kayla knew he had been staying away from her, he was scared too. She set down Nora who was now walking just a little bit, "Nora go walk to your grandpa and tell him that mommy loves him."

Kayla watched as Tig froze, he turned around and swallowed hard, "What did you say?"

Kayla grinned, "I told your granddaughter to walk to you dad."

A single tear rolled down Tig's cheek, "Tara called you? I'm a match?"

Kayla nodded, "You're stuck with me now. I hope it's alright?"

Tig was too her in minutes, squeezing her breath away as he hugged her. Happy slapped him on the back, but Tig was too busy hugging his daughter, HIS daughter. The girl he had taken care of her whole life, really was his.

**-Hard to Love-**

Tig vibrated as he sat down at the long table in Gemma's dining room. Kayla had called the queen and asked her to meet them at her house. Happy had followed them and now was entertaining both kids in the living room.

Gemma came in like a whirlwind, "Ok what was so important you couldn't tell me on the phone?"

Tig stood up and gestured toward the chair by Kayla, "Gem we need to talk to you."

Gemma rolled her eyes, "Shit. What is it now? I swear to god Tig are you fucking her?" Her eyes narrowing, Kayla laughed.

Kayla gestured to her mother, "Mom you're gonna want to sit."

Gemma sat down lighting a cigarette, she didn't like the way the two of them were passing glancing at each other. Kayla pulled out the DNA test and handed it to her. Gemma read the paper over and over again, "What does this mean? Where the hell did you get this?"

Kayla took a deep breath, "Zobelle gave it to me, I think he thought Clay was my dad and that the information would rip apart the club. So I waited, trying to figure out what to do. Mom did you have any idea that I wasn't JT's daughter?"

Gemma had tears filling her eyes, she shrugged, "I don't think I knew. I guess I kind of wondered sometimes, but I really didn't….." Gemma's eyes got wide as she looked at Tig.

Tig smiled at her, "She's knows about it all Gem. She knows that we slept together; she came to me thinking that maybe I would know and I told her. We had a DNA test and I'm her dad."

Gemma shook her head, tears now flowing down her face, "I'm so sorry, I made a mess of things. Jesus, I kept a father from his child. Oh god baby girl what you must think of me."

Kayla reached across the table and squeezed her mother's hand, a small smile spreading across her face, "I know mom, it's alright. I understand, and the pull between me and Tig was too strong, he loved me anyway, like me and him always knew. Now I know, and he can at least be a grandfather to my kids. He doesn't have to play the Uncle card; he's their grandfather and my father. But we need your help to tell Jax and Clay. We have to protect the two of you."

Gemma nodded, "We do, this might be bad. But I'll do everything I can to make sure we all come out of this whole."

Tig nodded his hand going to Kayla's other hand, Kayla was holding hands with each of her parents at the same time, it was a dream come true, now to just let the club realize that this didn't have to be a bad thing.

**Alright! There you go! You all knew it was Tig! Now how will they protect Gemma and Tig, because Clay is going to be pissed! Even though Gemma was married to JT when they were sleeping together, Clay was in love with her at the time, and his rage will probably be directed at the person it always, Kayla! So you will all get your Tig/Clay beat down! Hope I didn't disappoint! Cold meds really suck, so sorry if this wasn't my best work**** Hugs, Kaye**


	19. TRY

Chapter 19….TRY

**Sorry it's been so long! I broke a few fingers and trying to figure out how to type has been interesting to say the least! Well this one should be a little crazy! Hang in there everything will be answered, I think that Hap and Kayla are both equally screwed up, and this chapter will make you mad at both of them but also at Clay. **

**Skinny Johnson was mentioned in earlier chapters, he is the tattoo artist in Colorado Springs that Kayla had a flung with when she lived in Colorado. Remember she never would tell Happy who did all her ink, well he comes into play in this chapter. I like to think he looks a lot like Dwayne the Rock Johnson, ex wrestler, beautiful body….LOL.**

**There are several time jumps, which I've tried to help out with by noting them. Sorry if it's confusing, but I wanted to try something a little different this time! Enjoy….and Happy Holiday**** Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

Where there is desire there's gonna be a flame,

Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burnt,

Just because it's burns doesn't mean you're gonna die,

You gotta get up and try, try, try,

You gotta get up and try!

Try – Pink

The sound of her cell phone vibrating on the counter of the sink, made her crank her neck. As she did Skinny growled biting down onto her collar bone. Kayla moaned, turning her head back to face the shower wall, her hands bracing their weight as he drilled inside her. She didn't cry, her heart was broken and this final act of betrayal was hers. She wanted him to hurt just as much as she did. Her life was forever changed because of Happy's decision to not honor her or their relationship. She had felt him growing distant over the last two months but last night had confirmed that he wanted a way out and now he had it. Her being there with Skinny was just her way of getting back at him.

Her thoughts turned back to the large tan man that was now massaging her tits. She could feel her own building climax and she could tell by his breathing that he would be coming soon. She screamed as she clamped down around him, he came right after her collapsing against her back. Skinny chuckled, "Glad your old man pissed you off; I've missed that tight little pussy."

Kayla leaned back against him, "I've missed you too, but don't get use to this, you know what this was."

There had always been rules with her and Skinny, no kissing, and he always took her from behind. But the sex was mind blowing and he always made her feel beautiful, something that Happy hadn't done in a long time. As she stepped out of the shower she flipped open her phone, it was Happy again, _**La, where the fuck are you? Our kids need you! I need to fucking talk to you! Get your ass home!**_

Kayla gave out a sarcastic huff; she felt Skinny's hands on her hips, his voice in her ear, "Wanna go again?"

Kayla sighed, leaning back against him, feeling his hands slid up and down her body, she closed her eyes, "Why the fuck not?"

**-Hard to Love-**

**Six weeks earlier**

Kayla was almost bouncing as her and Tig stood waiting for Jax to answer his door. Gemma had called and let her and Tig know that she was at Jax and that Clay was off in Oakland at a meeting, it was the perfect time to tell Jax about Kayla's parentage.

Gemma opened the door and gave them a small smile. They walked into the kitchen where Jax and Tara sat; Jax stood up and hugged his sister, "Hey shortie."

Kayla kissed his cheek, she smiled, "Asshole."

Jax smirked sitting back down, "So what's so important that mom said you needed to talk to me in private? Everything alright with you and Hap?"

Kayla gave him a soft smile as she sat down at the table, her stomach doing flip flops. In the MC world, what her parents had done could be punishable by death. She was scared what her brother would say, would he hate her too. Kayla sighed, pulling the DNA tests from her purse, "I want you to know that I love you. No matter what is said here tonight, you will always be the best brother a girl could have."

Jax sat up straight his face looking a little panicked, "What the fuck is going on Kayla?"

Gemma reached across the table and grabbed Jax's hand, "Baby, JT wasn't Kayla's father."

Tara gasped as Jax looked instantly pissed, he recoiled his hand from his mother, his words coming out slow and through clenched teeth, "What are you talking about?"

Tig shifted on his feet, he really did feel for the prince, "Your mom and I hooked up one night while your dad was in Ireland."

Jax was on his feet charging at Tig. Tig held his hands up as Jax grabbed his shirt, Kayla rushed in-between them. She put both of her hands on her brother's face, "JAX, PLEASE. He's my dad, you can't. Just hear them both out. Please?"

Jax looked from his sister to her father, he finally released Tig and stalked over to the fridge and kicked it hard. He put his hands on the counter and took in deep breaths. Tara came up behind him and put a hand on his back, her voice was low, "Baby, hear them out."

Once Jax had calm down a little Tara walked him back to the kitchen table and he sat down folding his hands in front of him. Kayla took a deep breath, she pulled out the DNA test that JT had ran all those years ago, "JT did a DNA test on me right after Thomas died. Zobelle gave it to me that night; I didn't know who my dad was when I gave you the rest of the papers."

Tig pushed off the counter, "What other papers?" Kayla held up her hand, she continued to look at Jax as he looked over the papers. His face quickly turning to sorrow.

Jax swallowed hard, "So he raised you and knew that you weren't his. Jesus Christ, Ma how the fuck could you do this to him? He loved you? Am I even his? What about Thomas?"

Gemma let a tear roll down her cheek, her voice cracking, "You were his, that I know. He gave you blood when you needed stitches when you were ten and you and Op tried climbing that fence. You two have the same blood type. I kind of thought that Kayla was Tig's but I hoped that she was JT's."

Jax's face was stone hard as he looked at his mother, "What about Thomas?"

Gemma let out a ragged breath, her voice was soft, "He was Clay's."

Jax slammed his fist into the table, "You had three kids with three different men? And then passed them off as my father's? What the fuck is wrong with you? I should gut you right here!"

Gemma sobbed nodding her head, "I know. I'll do whatever you feel is best. I know I've messed everything up. But Thomas died, so I never told Clay. And Tig has always been drawn to Kayla, so I thought the secrets were safe. But Kayla went to Tig and he took the test and it confirmed what I had always thought. I know you hate me baby but I love you, please don't shut me out or hate me."

Jax looked over at Tig, "Did you ever know? Did you ever think she was yours?"

Tig shook his head, "No man, I would've claimed her ages ago if I thought she was mine. You know how much I love Kayla. I never would've left her with Clay all those years if I knew. The night I slept with Gemma I was drunk and I half thought it didn't happen. Let this land on me, don't punish Gemma."

Jax shook his head, he looked at his hands that were clasped together tightly, "Everybody out, but Kayla."

Tara stood up and kissed her husband on the cheek. Gemma sighed looking at Jax one last time before she went into the living room. Tig nodded to Kayla and shut the kitchen door when he left. Kayla was getting ready to reach for Jax when he stood up and came over to her, his arms wrapping around her. He held her tightly, "I love you sis. I'm sorry all this has fell on you. Just because we don't share a dad doesn't mean we aren't still full brother and sister."

Kayla nodded, hot tears falling onto her brother's shoulder. Jax pulled away and sat down next to her his hands going to hers, "Kayla, we have to be smart about this. No one can know outside of us all here that Tig's your dad. Who else knows?"

Kayla stared at him a little confused, "Just Happy. We haven't told anyone."

Jax nodded, "I looked into those papers that you gave me. I did some digging down at the police station with Hale. Clay killed my dad. I talked to Lowell Jr, and he filled in the rest. Clay paid Lowell Sr, to fuck with my dad's bike. He didn't have an accident; he just got in the way of Clay. Clay wanted his life so he fucking took it."

Kayla shook her head, the memory of Tig holding her after he told her of JT's death flashed in her mind. The years of abuse and hate she took from Clay. She let out a soft sob, "What are you going to do? Please tell me that you won't hurt mom or Tig. What are you going to do with Clay?"

Jax sighed, looking much older than he was, "Don't worry about Clay, he's all mine. I won't let him hurt anyone else in this family. As far as Tig goes he's fine, he has always loved you like a father. I know you want to shout it from the rooftops, but we have to keep it quiet for now, maybe the old crazy bastard will help me bring down Clay. I know if you download Hap he'll keep his mouth shut. Mom and me have to work out our own shit. She has a lot to answer for Kayla, but I won't hurt either of them. But if Clay finds out, he'll probably have them killed. We have to play this smart. I love you sis."

Kayla nodded, her hand going to her brother's cheek, "I love you Jackson. You always tried to protect me and I'll never forget that. Thank you for understanding. Can I do anything to help with Clay?"

Jax shook his head, "No I want you far away from this. You and the kids, just keep this to yourself and keep an eye on mom."

After they were done talking, the two of them went into the living room and talked to the others. It was a hard night; Gemma looked lost when she left. Jax and Tig headed outside to talk alone. Tara sat down next to Kayla and gave her a hug, "It's gonna be alright."

Kayla nodded, her stomach doing flip flops, "I hope so, I hope so."

**-Hard to Love-**

**Four weeks earlier**

Happy couldn't believe he was standing in his backyard watching his two kids as they tore through the mountain of presents that they had been given. His kids, their kids, were one. He couldn't help but smile at Kayla as she smiled looking at Nora and then Vic as they opened matching motorized Harleys. Nora's was pink and Vic's was black. A gift from Tig, who hung off to the side while Gemma snapped picture after picture. The day was going great, Hap glanced over at Clay who was sitting with Piney, he wondered if things would be alright when the President found out about the little whose her daddy issue. He sighed as Vic came running up to him holding up his hands, "Da da da da."

Hap smiled picking up his son, his voice thick and raspy, "What's up little dude? You still got shit to open."

Vic smiled at him, "Shit!"

Kayla rolled her eyes as she walked toward her two men, "I thought you were going to watch that around him."

Hap smiled at his wife kissing her and pulling her into his other side, "Just teaching the kid how to be a man."

Kayla huffed, "So all men have foul mouths?"

Hap leaned down and bit down on her lip, "Never heard you complain about my foul mouth and what it does for you."

Kayla laughed, kissing him back, "I forgot guess you will have to remind me tonight. Now would you please put the kiddos in their high chairs so I can give them their cake?"

Happy growled, but nodded; as she walked away he playfully slapped her ass. She gave him the smile that she saved just for him and Happy couldn't help but think that his life was pretty damn good.

**-Hard to Love-**

It had only been three days since the birthday party, the birthday party of his kids, his little kids. He stood over the body of the little girl and felt the bile rising in his throat. It was supposed to be in and out, just kill the Aryans sitting on the meth house. They had no idea that there were women and kids. When he saw the movement out of the corner of his eye, he had shot, thinking it was one of the Aryans. When he had advanced down the hall and saw the woman holding onto the little girl not that much older than Nora, he had checked them both for pulses, but it was too late, they were both dead.

Happy was now crouched down in front of the two bodies, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. He kept staring at the little girls face, how could he go home and kiss his kids after what he just did. He heard Tig behind him, "Holy fuck. Jesus Christ why the fuck were there women and kids here. Hap, Hap….you alright man?"

Happy stood up and nodded, swallowing hard, "I didn't see the kid man." His eyes were tearing up, Happy never cried, but he had just fucking killed a kid, a baby.

Tig put a hand on his shoulder, "Hap go out with the others, I'll take care of this. Just go."

Tig watched as Happy walked like a ghost back out to the others. He had never seen the killer so upset, but as he looked back down at the little girl he knew why, she looked a little like Nora and Tig felt himself feeling the need to get sick. Tig shook his head and began moving the bodies.

That night when they got back to the clubhouse Tig watched as Happy drunk himself stupid. He knew his son in law was hurting over what had happened, before Kayla, Happy had been in a dark place. Kayla had saved him from himself, but now as Tig watched him he could tell that the dark place again. When Happy grabbed a blond croweater and headed back toward his dorm Tig sighed taking a long drink, this was the beginning of the end and Tig knew it. He knew his daughter would be left heartbroken and all because some Aryan bastard had his old lady and kid at that fucking house.

**-Hard to Love-**

**One week earlier**

Kayla knew something was wrong, he didn't have to say it but she knew. He wasn't coming home at night and when he did the sex was brutal, leaving her with bruises and sores. Not that she didn't like him when he was rough, but gone were the gentle kisses and the way he use to make love to her in the mornings. He didn't even look at the kids, he screamed at her if they bothered him. She knew it had to stop; she had taken the kids to Neeta's house and circled back around to the house. She knew he would still be sleeping off the whiskey from the night before.

She was glad for Saturdays and she usually drug the kids with her everywhere she went but she knew they needed to talk alone. When she got into the house Happy was standing shirtless at the sink drinking coffee, he didn't turn to look at her, "Thought you'd be out doing shit."

Kayla sighed, feeling nervous by her husband's behavior, she had never been afraid of Happy but the darkness around him seemed to be leaking out and pouring into all of their lives. "I thought we could talk."

Happy turned and leaned against the sink, "What about? You have everything you need, the house, the kids, I take care of everything. What could you have to bitch about?"

Kayla took a step toward him putting a hand on his bare chest, "I'm worried about you. What's wrong?"

Happy scoffed knocking her hand from his chest and heading toward the living room, "You worry to damn much I'm fine."

Kayla followed him hot on his heels, "That's not true. Jesus Hap you've been moody, you won't even look at the kids and when we have sex…"

Happy had sat down on the couch and he was now staring at her with the same hard look he usually saved for people he hated. He wasn't mad at her, he really wasn't, he was just so fucked up over what he had done, he didn't feel like he deserved her or the kids anymore. Not understanding those feelings was what made him so pissed. He threw the coffee mug at the wall next to her, Kayla ducked with a squeal and he was on her pushing her against the wall. "What's wrong with our sex life? Huh? Answer me you needy bitch! Not getting enough? Well let's fix that."

He turned her slamming her hard into the wall, his hands pulling down her leggings roughly, Kayla let out a sob, "Please Hap, not like this. Please, I love you." She felt him freeze.

Happy could feel her whole body shaking; he looked down at where he had pulled down her leggings. All down her legs were small finger print size bruises, they were from him. What the fuck was he doing? He fucking loved this woman; this was his La, why was he taking this out on her? He didn't know what to do; he had never dealt with all the demons that were in his head. He leaned in closer to her, trying to take in her scent, "I'll go to the clubhouse."

Kayla didn't say anything, she listened to him go upstairs and she pulled up her leggings and crumbled to the floor. She didn't move looking at the wall as tears silently fell from her eyes; he had never been like this with her, NEVER. When she heard him come back downstairs she didn't look up.

Happy felt something in stomach turn when he saw her in the same position against the wall. He sighed getting into his wallet he walked over and threw several hundred dollars down next to her, "Get whatever shit you need, I don't know how long I'll be gone."

With that he left out of the house, Kayla balled herself up on the floor, broken pieces of the coffee mug digging into her skin and she sobbed. What was happening to her family?

**-Hard to Love-**

When Tig saw Happy come into the clubhouse four nights later he let out a sigh of relief. Kayla had called him and unloaded about everything that had been going on. Tig finally broke down and told her about the little girl that Happy had accidently killed. Kayla had sobbed, asking her father what she could do to help her husband. Tig had told her that as soon as he heard from him he would let her know. Tig figured Happy just needed someone to be there for him and who better to be there then his wife.

Tig watched Happy that night as he drank everything in sight, he had already called Kayla and told her that Happy was back and that she should come to the clubhouse. Now as he watched the killer getting drunk he wondered if that was such a good idea.

**-Hard to Love-**

When Tig had called and told her that Happy was finally back she was relieved. All the shit that her father had told her weighed on her, why hadn't he told her? Why didn't he ask her for help? She was his wife, his old lady and she would never judge him, she loved him too much.

She had called her mom and dropped the kids off with Gemma and headed toward the clubhouse. Once she got there Tig came up to her, "Hey baby girl." He pulled her into a hug.

Kayla took a deep breath, "Hey Tiggie, is he in his room?"

Tig nodded, "Yeah, I had to run out to help your brother with something, but as far as I know he's in the back. You sure you want to do this tonight?"

Kayla nodded hugging herself, "Yeah, it has to be tonight. He needs me, he's hurting and I'm gonna be here for him."

Tig sighed, "Ok kid, if you need me let me know."

Kayla smiled as she walked past the other guys, but her mind was a mess. Kozic and Simone had made sure she was hitting her meetings, with all the stress at home, just to make sure she was working the steps and she was. She paused at his door taking a deep breath; she opened the door and felt her heart being ripped out of her chest.

Happy was slamming into a large breasted skinny blond, who was screaming out his name. Kayla charged him knocking him off the woman. Happy flew into the wall, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Kayla stood over him her chest rising and falling hard; she glanced at the croweater, "GET OUT!" The blond scrambled out of the room and Kayla slammed the door behind her. When she turned around Happy was laughing.

Kayla stared at him, his dick still erected, "What the FUCK IS SO FUNNY?"

Happy looked up at her, "You! You bring your big fat ass in here and think you have a RIGHT to knock me off some bitch. Who the FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

Kayla heard every word, it bounced around her head, _**your big fat ass**_, her voice was soft, "I thought I was your wife. I thought you loved me as much as I loved you. I guess I was wrong. I'll send her back in."

Kayla opened the door with so much force that the door knob dug into the wall. She walked into the clubhouse and yelled to the blond who was now shrinking behind Opie, "He's all YOURS good luck."

She heard Tig yelling her name but she didn't stop. She stopped for a second in front of Happy's bike and something snapped in her. She ran to her Ford Shelby and squealed the tires as she put it into reverse. She stopped at Happy's bike getting out she had her small glock in her hand, she shot out the tires slamming her wedding ring onto the seat, she was officially DONE. She saw Tig standing under the awning of the clubhouse his hands on his head, as she sped out of the lot.

Happy was still sitting on the floor of his room when Tig found him. Happy didn't look up, his hands were holding his head, he could see Tig's boots and that was all. Tig crouched down, his words coming out through clenched teeth, "RING NOW MOTHERFUCKER."

Happy stood pulling up his pants; he deserved everything Tig had to give him. He knew what he had said coupled with what Kayla had saw had finally pushed her too far. He hung his head and followed Tig to the ring.

It took Jax, Juice, and Opie to get Tig off of him. Happy was sure he was going to black out, but Tig won't let him. He kept slapping his face, "No falling asleep you dumb sonofabitch! You WILL stay awake for this."

Now sitting on the picnic table while Chibs patched him up, he saw the looks on all his brother's faces. He had fucked up bad, he started to get up and head toward his bike, hoping to go home and make things right with her when Jax stopped him, "Not tonight brother, you can't ride anyway she shot out your tires."

Happy sighed walking toward the bike; he couldn't believe she had shot out his fucking tires. But yes he could, if she cheated on him, he would do a hell of a lot worse. It was the gold rings that sat on the seat that caught his eye, her engagement ring and the simple band he had put on her finger. He sighed crouching down shaking his head. He heard noise behind him, when he looked up Tig was handing him a cigarette, Happy took it and stood up. Tig passed him a lighter and quietly stood looking at the bike, when Happy handed him back the lighter Tig patted his back, "Make this right or I'll fucking kill you."

Happy nodded watching as his father in law walked away. This was going to take a lot of work if he was going to fix things, but maybe a shower and a good night's sleep is what he needed and then he would work on fixing his family.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla had driven until the fuel light went on; she pulled into a gas station and began filling the tank. Her mind clicking over everything that Happy had done and said over the last few weeks. He didn't love her; she was just a possession to him. She needed some place to go, some place to get her head on straight, a small smile spread across her face. She finished pumping the gas and got into the car, taking out her cell phone she called the one person who would make her feel beautiful and help calm all the shit going on in her head. The phone rang twice and a husky voice answered, "Sugar is that you?"

Kayla laughed, "I need a little distraction Skinny, anyway you could set aside some time for an old friend."

She heard him chuckle, "Oh baby I thought you'd never call."

She drove for hours to Colorado Springs knowing that her mother had the kids for the night. She finally got to Skinny's apartment just after dawn. She sat in the car for a few minutes letting her mind wrap around everything, she had told him a long time ago that she wasn't one of those old ladies that sat around letting their old man fuck around, he deserved what she was going to do and honestly it was over so why did it matter.

It had taken five minutes for Skinny to let her into his place and another five minutes for him to fuck her on his kitchen table. Kayla cleared her mind, not thinking of her kids, or their father who had broken her heart, her only thought was that she needed to feel good, wanted.

**-Hard to Love-**

When Happy didn't find her in the morning at the house, he rode over to Gemma's. He knocked on the door half figuring that Kayla would answer with her glock in her hand and shot him in the nuts. Instead Gemma answered with Nora on her hip. Gemma glared at him as Nora reached for her father, "Dada!"

Happy took his daughter and kissed her head, "Hey kid at least you're happy to see me. Gem can I talk to Kayla?"

Gemma huffed at him rolling her eyes, "She's not here. She called and asked me to keep the kids for a few days, said she needed some space."

Happy stared at Gemma; she's not here, where the fuck was she? "Where is she? I need to see her."

Gemma shook her head, "You really fucked up, not only with that croweater, but the shit you said to her, I'd be surprised if she didn't come into town in the dead of night and take these babies and never turn back. You're a real mother fucker."

Happy glared at her, he hadn't thought about the fact that she might come back and take his kids from him. Shit, he couldn't live without her! "Gemma if you know where my old lady is, you better fucking tell me!"

Clay walked into the kitchen and glared at Happy, "You best rethink how you talk to my old lady."

Happy wanted to knock the shit out of both of them, but he didn't, "I just want to know where she is, Clay. I didn't mean any disrespect."

Clay nodded, looking at Gemma, "Where is she Gem?"

Gemma shook her head and crossed her arms, "I don't know, she said if I needed her to call, that she would be home Sunday night. It's all I know."

Happy nodded, he could hear Vic playing in the living room, he knew he had to take the kids home. If he had the kids she would have to come and get them at least and he would be waiting. He had to make her understand, she had to forgive him, had to.

Happy shifted Nora to his other arm, "I'm gonna take the kids home. Do you think I could borrow the SUV?"

Gemma nodded surprised, "Sure, you think you can handle these two on your own? Kayla said you haven't been doing much parenting lately."

Happy gritted his teeth, he might've been a dickhead dad the last few weeks, but he could take care of his own kids, "I got this."

Gemma nodded with a wicked smirk, "I hope for their sakes and yours you do. You've fucked up enough already."

**-Hard to Love-**

Saturday night, Kayla laid on one of Skinny's tattoo tables and smiled as the needle sunk into her skin. Her phone had been going haywire all day. She didn't text back Happy, but she did her mom and Tig. Letting them know that she was safe, but she didn't say where she was. She needed this time to herself, she didn't need Happy showing up and fucking up the one place she could go. The only person she did call was Kozic to let him know she was sober and planned on staying that way. She had also asked him to check on Happy and the kids. Kozic had called her back an hour later from the house and tried to get her to talk to Happy. Kayla had told him no, but Happy had grabbed the phone from Kozic, "La, knock this shit off and come home the kids ….." She had hung up not even giving him an answer.

Now she smiled up at Skinny as he crafted the word, _**jaded**_, on her left breast near her heart. It truly was what she was now, she was jaded, hard. Being with a man like Happy did that to you.

Skinny smiled down at her, "Your old man is gonna kill us both for this little vacation of yours."

Kayla smirked up at him, "What you afraid?"

Skinny laughed, he was ex marine, who had retired to Colorado Springs and opened his own tattoo shop, not much scared him. "No, I'm ready to die, your asshole husband comes walking in here, he'll have a fucking fight on his hands. So it's over between the two of you?"

Kayla sighed, "Yeah, I think it is. Too much to come back from, he cheated, I cheated. It's done. But he'll always be the father of my kids."

Skinny nodded, "Well maybe you can sneak away again. I've missed out little rumps." He stopped the needle and bit down on her left nipple making her back arch.

Kayla ran a hand over his short hair, "You always bring a girl back for more."

Skinny just laughed and continued his work on her tattoo. Kayla closed her eyes and let herself get lost in the hum of the needle; things were going to change one way or the other. All that mattered was she was going home tomorrow and no matter what shit storm she walked into, she would do it with her head held high. She may have cheated, but she knew he had countless times, and this was her run and what happens on a run stays on a run. And it didn't matter, she knew what she had to do to get the club to release her from the crow on her shoulder, she just wondered if he would let her go.

**Ok, I'm evil I know…..OH SHIT IS GOING TO GET NUTS when Hap finds out what she did. He is fucked up with shooting the little girl, and she should've have cheated, but I felt she had every right! What happens on a run should go both ways….ok, enough rant, I hope you all don't hate me too much! Do your thing! **


	20. Through Heartbreak Comes Clarity

Chapter 20….Through Heartbreak Comes Clarity

**Greetings all! Well I had a really great response to the last chapter….a few of you were unsure of the way I was going, but you are willing to hang in there and see what happens. Ok, I'm off enjoy the ride!**

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla sighed as she pulled her Shelby into the garage. As she cut the ignition she sighed, on the way home she had called Gemma and she had told her that Happy had the kids at home. Kayla had hoped that he would be on a run and she could hold this off at least till the next day. But no such luck. She got out of the car and headed into the house. When she flipped on the kitchen light she saw Happy sitting at the kitchen table. He had a smoke in one hand and a beer in the other; he glared at her as she went to the sink and got a glass of water. "Where the fuck you been all weekend?"

Kayla huffed as she drank the rest of the water; she set the glass in the sink and headed toward the stairs. But Happy grabbed her wrist and spun her around; his eyes were boring into her, "WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?"

Kayla didn't back down she went toe to toe with him, "Why do you care? I made sure the kids were alright, I needed some time to think."

Happy glared at her, "So where did you do this thinking?"

Kayla tore her wrist from his grasp, "It's funny you're more worried about where I was over what I thought about, that tells me loads. You can leave, I'm home and I'm not leaving."

Happy clenched his fists at his side, his voice was extra gravelly, "I ain't going anywhere, this is my home."

Kayla snickered, "For now it is, enjoy the couch asshole."

Happy watched her as she went up the stairs and disappeared into the kid's room. He ran a tried hand over his face; this was going to be harder than he thought.

Kayla stood over Nora's sleeping body, she ran a hand over the little girl's back, she really had missed the kids when she was gone. She covered up both kids and walked across the hall to her and Happy's room, she rolled her eyes when she saw him sitting on the bed. She put her bag down and grabbed her bed clothes and headed into the bathroom. She locked the door staring at herself in the mirror, what the hell was she going to do? She thought that sleeping with Skinny would be the end of everything, that she would be able to move on kick him out. But after seeing him, she knew it won't be that easy. She sighed and slipped into the shower letting the hot water hit her body.

Happy waited till he heard the water start and he went over and turned the knob to the bathroom door. He figured they needed to fuck, just fuck hard and sweaty that was what he could do to remind her what they had. He felt instantly pissed when he found the door locked, this was his god damn house and he'd be damned if she was going to lock him out. He went to his cut and got out his lock picking kit and had the door open quickly. He slipped into the shower using all of his skills to quietly take off his clothes, when he slipped in behind her Kayla turned. Her arms going up to her chest, but not soon enough, he saw the bright red tattoo on her left breast glaring at him.

Kayla couldn't believe he had gotten into the bathroom, fear gripped her as his head cocked to one side, his eyes were hard black gems boring into her flesh. In one quick move he slammed her against the wall, pinning her wrist one handed above her head. His other hand ghosting over the word that was etched into her skin, his voice was quiet, "Who inked you?"

Kayla trembled, "A friend did it, it's no big deal, now please get out."

Happy was like in a trance as he continued to touch the tattoo, his hand getting more and more aggressive, almost hurting her as he massaged her breast, "Who did this ink? Who touched your skin, MY SKIN with a needle? You best tell me La."

Kayla swallowed hard, putting her hand on his, "Hap, you're hurting me." That made his head snap up, his eyes glaring at her, he was pissed.

He slammed her body against the wall, his voice coming out through clenched teeth, "WHO THE FUCK DID YOU LET TOUCH YOU? YOU KNOW I TOLD YOU THE ONLY ONE TO INK YOU WOULD BE ME NOW!"

Kayla's head was throbbing from him slamming her into the shower twice and her tattoo felt like it was being ripped from her skin. But she was pissed, she had seen him fuck someone with her own two eyes, she pushed him back a little, "You lost the right to tell me who could and couldn't touch me when you fucked that croweater."

She moved fast getting out of the shower, if they were having this out she didn't want to be stuck in the shower with him. She scrambled into the bedroom grabbing a towel as she went, but he was on her pinning her to the bed. His eyes were wild, his hand on her neck, putting just enough pressure to scare her, "Was it the guy from Colorado? Is that where you were held up all weekend? Answer me!"

Kayla stared up at him, trying to will the tears to stay at bay, "If you're gonna beat me, just get it over with." Her words coming out softly, she resigned herself to this on the way home. She had hoped stupidly that he would just leave her alone, she had been stupid.

Happy stared down at her, his breathing ragged, "Did you fuck him?"

Kayla didn't say anything she just turned her head, not looking at him. Happy's heart broke he knew he had hurt her, it seemed to be what he was good at, but he was too selfish to let her go. He leaned down and kissed her neck, making her let out a soft sob. He was gentle with her, trying to make her realize that he loved her that he was sorry. He turned her so she was facing him, he crushed his lips to hers, it took a few minutes but she finally kissed him back. When she put her arms around his neck, he thought maybe she would forgive him, just maybe. But then he heard the knocking at the door. It was after ten who the fuck was at the door?

He looked down at Kayla, his voice was soft, "Stay here I'll get rid of them."

Kayla sat up and pulled on some sleep shorts and a tee shirt. She heard Happy talking loudly, so she went to the top of the stairs and saw David Hale standing there.

When Happy opened the door he was instantly pissed, Hale stood there in all his glory, he nodded at Hap, "Lowman."

Happy sighed, his face going hard, "What the fuck do you want it's late, my kids are sleeping."

Happy heard Kayla come down the stairs behind him. Hale shot her a look that was one of regret, "I'm here to take Kayla in."

Happy's fists clenched at his side, he pushed Kayla behind him, "What the fuck for? This is bullshit; she'll come down in the morning for whatever stupid ass questions you have."

Hale sighed, "It's not for questioning, she's under arrest for the murder of Wendy Teller. I'm so sorry Kayla."

When Hale moved to cuff Kayla, Happy sprung at him, Kayla put herself in-between him and Hale, her hand on his chest, her eyes full of tears, "NO! It's alright Hap; someone has to take care of the kids."

Happy didn't look at her, his cheek twitching as he looked at Hale. Kayla put her hands on his face making him look at her, "Baby, I need you to take care of the kids. Call my mom, call my dad, call Rosen. Please Happy, I love you and I'm so sorry."

Happy looked into her eyes, this shouldn't be happening, Chibs and Opie had covered this up, why was this happening? He felt her hug him hard, his arms going around her, he kissed the top of her head. When she looked up at him, she tried to smile, but he could see that she was scared. He kissed her hard and then Hale pulled them apart, two of the other officers had their guns drawn as Hale cuffed her. Happy was ordered to sit on the stairs as they walked her to the car. Happy watched her in disbelief through the open door, what the fuck was going on? He pulled out his phone and started making calls.

**-Hard to Love-**

They didn't take her to Charming PD; instead they took her to County. When they handed her off to the sheriffs they put her in a holding cell with at least thirty other women. She saw Lynn right away and went to her, the younger woman grabbing her into a hug, "Oh god Kayla, they took me from my bed. Juan Carlos was screaming and Juice tried to stop them, but they held him on the ground. What the fuck did we do?"

Kayla pulled away from her putting her hands on the girl's face, "We didn't do anything, remember? That's the story. That night you and I were out shopping, but we didn't get anything, remember? Stick to the story and everything will be fine. We have each other and that's something. Now pull it together or we're gonna get killed in here."

Lynn sobbed burying her head into Kayla's chest, "What are we gonna do?"

Kayla stroked her hair, "I'm going to take care of you, just hold it together till the guys figure out what to do. We have each other."

Lynn nodded and they sat down next to each other, Lynn put her hand on top of Kayla's, "Everything alright at home? I heard you took off this weekend."

Kayla huffed, "I found Hap cheating on me with that new croweater and I kind of lost my shit. I went to Colorado." She looked at Lynn sharing the information of her weekend with Skinny without really saying what happened.

Lynn sighed, feeling sorrow for her friend, she squeezed Kayla's hand, "I'm so sorry. Happy loves you; you guys will work this out."

Kayla wiped quickly at a few tears that slipped down her cheek, "At least if I'm in here, when I tell him he can't kill me. He'll just leave me and never come back." Kayla leaned her head back against the wall trying to hold in the tears in her eyes, she knew her life was completely fucked up. She was now going to lose everything she held dear, her husband, her kids, and now her freedom. She stared at Lynn if she could she would do what she had to, to protect her friend.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy sat across the table from Rosen listening to the evidence against the girls. Someone had seen them climbing onto the balcony at Wendy's and the person had positively id'd them. This was bad, they had to figure out who saw them and put an end to this. Before anyone could ask any more questions Rosen's phone went off, "Hold on I have to answer this."

Tig leaned down and whispered to Happy, "We have to find this fucker and shut them up." Happy nodded, this was a fucking nightmare, that morning the kids had been screaming for her, why were things so out of control? They didn't even have anything solved yet. He sighed as Rosen came back toward the table.

Rosen sat down his face grim, "First of all they're fine. But someone tried to jump Lynn and Kayla stepped in, she took the worst of the beating."

Juice stood up his hands going to his head, Happy held his head in his hands, Tig growled, "We have to get them out, this is bullshit. They have to set bail."

Rosen nodded, "Their bail hearing is set for this afternoon at four. If we can't make bail they will be left in general population till the trial. I'll meet you guys at the County Courthouse; get whatever money you can together and I'll work on bail."

When Rosen left Happy looked up at Clay who was leaning against the bar, "We have to find this witness."

Clay nodded, "I'll see what I can do. Tig call Oswald and set up a met."

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy and Juice vibrated as they waited for the girl's to be called. The County Courthouse was filled to the brim. Rosen had told them that the District Attorney was playing hard ball and to their disgust Agent Stahl was sitting behind the DA smiling like it was Christmas. When they walked the girls out Happy felt his blood boil, they were half carrying Kayla. One eye was completely swelled shut; her lip was two times bigger than it should be. She wrapped a hand around her waist; he knew she was holding her ribs. Lynn looked rough but nowhere as bad as Kayla.

The judge looked down at his notes, "This is the case of Ortiz and Lowman vs. the State of California. The charge is Murder One, suggestions on bail."

The DA stood up, "The state feels with the ties to a national MC they could be a flight risk, we are asking for five hundred thousand a piece in bail."

Happy watched Juice the kid looked as bad as he felt, where the fuck were they going to get that kind of money. The judge slammed down his gavel down, "Bail is set at two hundred thousand each, next case."

Kayla scanned the court room, when she saw Happy she mouth, 'I'm sorry'. He sighed heavily and nodded to her, he didn't know what they would do. Two hundred thousand was better than what the DA wanted, but shit, it was still a lot. Once the girls were gone they walked out into the hall, they were talking to Rosen when Agent Stahl cleared her throat, "Oh boys this must be so hard having the girls so far away. I sure hope nothing bad happens to your wives, with all your enemies it might be rough for the two cream puffs inside."

Happy grabbed Juice's arm as the little retard tried to go for Stahl. The bitch just laughed, "See you boys soon."

Happy growled looking at Rosen, "We need to get them out, NOW."

**-Hard to Love-**

Sitting in the yard of the women's county holding Kayla scanned the yard, the day before had been so shitty. Lynn really was too pretty for her own good and when the big dike looking bitch had cornered her in the shower there was nothing else for Kayla to do but stand up for the girl. But now as they watched hardened women stare at them with Aryan tattoos Kayla knew they were totally fucked. Lynn sighed next to her, "We are going to die in here."

Kayla frowned looking at her friend, "Just stay close to me, hopefully the guys will get us out of here."

The guard came over, "Lowman, lawyers here. Come on."

Kayla looked at Lynn giving her one last squeeze on her shoulder, "Stay close to the guards I'll be right back." Lynn nodded, Kayla thought the girl looked sick, how the hell were they going to get out of this.

When Kayla came into the visitation room, Rosen stood up and smiled weakly at her, "Kayla, how are you?"

Kayla sat down across from him, "Sore, but alright. Any news on when we can get the hell out of here?"

Rosen shook his head, "No, the guys are trying to come up with the bail, but it's a lot of money."

Kayla nodded, she leaned forward, "Here is what you need to do."

Close to lights out one of the guards came in and nodded to Lynn, "Ortiz, you're out of here, grab your shit."

Lynn glanced back at Kayla, "Not without her."

Kayla sighed jumping off her cot, "You go, they could only come up with bail for one of us. I told Rosen to make sure you got out of here. Now you go, take care of your boy. Tell Hap I'm fine and how sorry I am for all this and kiss my kids for me. No crying now, you're an old lady." They hugged, Kayla watched as Lynn disappeared out the cell doors, she knew she did the right thing by getting Rosen to get her the hell out of there, she knew that Alaverez would front the bail for her, he had owed her after all. She just hoped that Happy would understand that Lynn's safety was more important than her own. She eased back on the cot and stared at the ceiling thinking of her kids and her husband, what the hell was she going to do? How would she fix this shit?

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy sat rocking Nora. The little girl had been screaming on and off, calling for her mother. Every time she did cried it broke Happy's heart a little bit more. It should be him in lock up not Kayla and the shit she pulled today keeping Lynn safe by calling Alaverez for the bail money. She was just as important as Lynn and Christ he had to make this right. They had a lead on witness and that bitch was dead once he got a hold of them, DEAD. He kissed Nora's head and gently sat her down in the crib, he made sure both kids were covered up and he headed into their bedroom.

When he sat down on the bed he heard her cell phone vibrate in her purse. He opened it, "Hey sugar did you get home alright?"

Happy's blood boiled, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?"

He heard silence on the other end, "Where is Kayla? If you hurt her you motherfucker!"

Happy grinned sinisterly, "This her little tattoo boy toy? I'm gonna find you, you fucker and I'm gonna gut you slow."

Skinny laughed, "Come and find me." The phone went dead. Happy chucked it at the wall, watching it shatter into millions of pieces, oh he and Miss Kayla were going to have a very long talk. A VERY LONG TALK.

**-Hard to Love-**

Tig stood outside the County Jail and paced back and forth. He and Gemma had mortgaged and pawned everything they had to get her out. They were making a run on the witness in two days, but for now he needed to get her home to her kids and Hap. When Kayla came walking out, Tig took a deep breath, he opened his arms, "Baby girl."

Kayla buried herself in his arms, "Thank you." She sobbed hard as Tig kissed her cheek; he rocked back and forth a little trying to soothe her.

He pulled away, "Come on kid, let's get you home."

When Kayla opened the door to the house, she had never been so happy to be home. Nora screamed, "Ma!" The little girl came running toward her and Kayla scooped her up hugging her close to her. Vic came running from the kitchen with Happy on his heels.

Kayla tried to pick up Vic too, but her ribs won't let her so she sat down on the ground letting the two toddlers crawl all over her lap. Happy one armed hugged Tig, "Thanks brother."

Tig nodded, "No problem, just glad she's home. I'll see you in the morning at the clubhouse." Tig stopped and knelt down next to his daughter, "Love you kid, have a good night's sleep, you need it."

Kayla nodded squeezing her dad's hand, "Thanks daddy." Tig nodded and left. Kayla stayed on the floor letting the kids hug and kiss on her.

Her and Happy didn't really speak; she knew that things were bad between them. She knew he was pissed, but she was just glad that he was there. Once she got the kids settled in for the night she headed to their room. Hap was sitting shirtless on his side of the bed, his back to her. Kayla sighed shutting the door behind her and leaning on it, "I think we should talk."

Happy nodded, he patted the bed next to him and she slowly made her way over and sat down next to him. He sighed, his hands clenched tight together in his lap, "Do you love him?"

Kayla sighed, tears rolling down her cheeks, "No, I never did. I wanted you to hurt like I did. I know you have been fucking around over the last few months and I was hurt. It was just sex."

Happy stood up fast pacing back and forth in front of her, his mind was moving at a million miles per minute, she had fucked someone else, but so had he. He wanted to hit her, throw her around the house, make her beg him to forgive her. But he knew he was in the wrong too. He stopped and looked at her, his breathing heavy, "Who knows?"

Kayla looked up at him, "What?"

Happy went up to her and pulled her to her feet his hands digging into her shoulders hard, "WHO ELSE KNOWS YOU FUCKED AROUND?"

Kayla swallowed hard, "Just Lynn, but she won't tell anyone."

Happy released her; he turned toward the window his body shaking. He was envisioning her laying in a bloody mess while he gutted the fucker in front of her, he shook his head and leaned down his hands resting on her desk, he felt her hand on his back.

Kayla knew he was going to leave her, she was shaking as she touched his back, her voice was barely a whisper, "I'm so sorry. But now you know how I feel, how I've felt. I love you but you don't love me and I'm happy to let you go if that makes you happy. That's all I want from you is for you to be happy and I don't do that I know that. You will always be the kid's father, I won't keep them from you, so you can leave if that's what you want."

Happy spun around towering over her, "Is that what you want? You want me to leave La? You done with me?"

Kayla shook her head and tried to back up a little bit, but Happy pulled her closer to him, "I ain't letting you go La, but this shit has to stop, no more fucking around. Both of us made a promise to our family. I fucked up and I deserved what you did, I don't fucking like it and if I figure out who that fucker is he's dead. But is that what you want me to go?"

Kayla shook her head, "No, I love you. I just want you, all of you. I've never faulted you for who you are or what you do; I've never judged you as long as you come home to me. Please just be with me Hap. I can't take it if you fuck around. I'm not the kind of old lady that puts up with that shit. And what you said to me, it cut me deep."

Happy leaned his forehead against hers, his hands ghosting up her arms, "How do we fix this La? I can't stop thinking of his hands all over you. I'm not leaving but I just…." Kayla watched as he stormed out of the bedroom. She heard the door from the garage to the kitchen open and then things being broken in the garage. She sobbed crumbling to the floor what the hell had she done. Why did she go to Skinny?

Once the house had become quiet, Kayla made her way downstairs after checking on the kids. She found Happy sitting on the back patio, his hands a bloody mess and a smoke held in-between his teeth. He growled at her, "Go to bed La."

Kayla took a deep breath, "No." She crossed in front of him, she stared at him, "Hit me if it helps, just please forgive me."

Happy shook his head and threw his cigarette butt to the ground, "I ain't gonna hit you La. That's why I just fucked up the garage and your car. I'm an asshole, but I ain't gonna hit my old lady."

Kayla fell on her knees in front of him, "Isn't there anything I can do? To move us pass this? Please Hap." Her eyes begging him, she was scared. Scared that she would be going away for years, missing out on her children growing up, missing out on the life that before a few months ago the two of them had together.

Happy looked at her battered face, who ever worked her over inside did a good fucking job. He ran a few fingers across her cheek and she turned into the touch, he finally pulled her to him and she sobbed out grabbing her ribs. He sighed kissing her head, his voice was firm, when he pulled her away to look in her eyes, "If you ever fuck someone else I'll kill you. You're mine La, no more of this bullshit. I don't give a shit what I do, you are better than that. I won't pull my dick out again, but if you hurt me like this again I'll kill you."

Kayla nodded and he pulled her into his chest, he held her as she cried. Three things had to happen, first he needed to kill the witness and get his girl in the clear. Second, he needed to make sure that they got back to where they were, though he knew he would never trust her again, her slight was too deep. Third, he had to kill the fucker that she had been with, no man alive was going to fuck around with his wife and live.

**Ok, there you go! I hope you don't want to beat me too badly, they made up, but not really. Clay will come into play the next chapter…teehee….just you wait! And Happy will find Skinny, the double standard, but Hap has learned his lesson and he won't stray again. Ok, thanks for reading and staying with me on this one! Hugs, Kaye**


	21. Ghosts Of The Past

Chapter 21….Ghost Of The Past

**Hey all! Well there has been a lot of reaction to Hap and his 'not trusting her' line. Well he will, he's just hurt and besides his mom no one in his life has ever put him first, so this was a hit to his male ego. But I promise Skinny will come up in a few chapters and the fight will be EPIC, the funny thing is I'm not sure who you guys want to win….LOL.**

**Well this chapter is the meat and bones for the whole story, there is a huge reveal that will really, shock you all. I hope I do it justice, here we go! Hugs, Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla laughed as she spun around the kitchen the kids dancing at her feet. They had just finished breakfast, Happy was still in the shower and she had a mess on her hands in the kitchen. So she turned on the radio and Lady Gaga's Judas was now blaring through the house. She loved watching the kids dance; Vic always got this really serious expression on his face as he wiggled his little butt, while hanging onto his Sippy cup for dear life. Nora just spun in circles laughing her head off. Kayla loved watching them, she picked up Vic and spun him around with her making the usually serious toddler grin and hide his face in her shoulder. Kayla set him down leaning down with her ass in the air, holding his hand singing the words of the song to him. Nora was now holding onto her leg squealing with delight. With all the noise she didn't hear her husband behind her.

Happy heard the music as he came down the stairs. The last week had been hard, he and Kayla were moving on from their betrayals, but they still slept on opposite sides of the bed, neither one ready to take the next step in fixing their shit. It has broke his heart when Kayla had voluntarily given her resignation to the school board, but with all the shit around a possible trial for murder he knew it was just a matter of time before she lost her job. He also knew she thought she was probably going away for a long time and if that was the case she wanted to spend every free moment with the kids.

He couldn't help the smile that crept across his face when he saw her round beautiful ass in the air; his girl had moves that was for sure. Nora peeked out from behind Kayla's legs and gave him away, "Da da da." The little girl ran to him and he flung her in the air kissing her face. Kayla turned and became instantly red.

He had seen her dancing around like a fucking foul, of all the shit to see first thing in the morning. She gave a nervous laugh, "I didn't know you were out of the shower." She walked over and turned the music down, Vic still swaying back and forth.

Happy chuckled picking up his son and putting him on his other hip, he kissed the boy's cheek, "What the hell they got you doing boy? Momma and sissy making you dance, need to get you a hustler and a can of beer."

Kayla rolled her eyes trying to hide a smile, "And a wife beater to go with them."

Happy grinned, "Why of course, he's a future SON." He walked the kids into the living room and turned on their daily dose of Sesame Street. When he came back into the kitchen Kayla was standing at the sink doing dishes, she looked good. Her hair was still messy from sleep, her ass filling out a pair of purple booty shorts and a pink tank top without a bra he noticed. Shit, being mad at her was hard, especially when she looked so god damn good.

He walked slowly up behind her, his arms going to her waist; he felt her body relax back into him, a small moan escaping her lips. He smirked realizing how much she missed him too. He put his head on her shoulder, his lips barely touching her ear, "Why don't you dance for me, La?"

Kayla laughed, "I'm afraid my dancing skills only entertain the toddler crowd. I can't compete with the girls that dance for you for a living."

Happy heard the dig, but let it go, he squeezed tighter, knowing that some of it came from her self esteem, "I think it's the other way around those girls don't got nothing on you." He kissed the side of her neck and her hands went to his. He grinned as he ran his tongue up to her ear, he sucked gently on her ear lobe, "I think we should put the kids down for a nap."

Kayla turned in his arms, "They just got up, daddy."

Happy thrust his hips into her as her arms went around his neck, he smirked down at her, "They could play in their cribs for a little bit."

Kayla smiled up at him, "Oh yeah, why? Daddy want to spend some time with Mommy?"

Happy looked at her thoughtfully, "Mommy and Daddy need to get over all their shit and get back to what makes them both happy. We need to fucking make up and stop this shit."

Kayla felt tears brimming in her eyes, her voice was soft, "You still want me?"

Happy didn't say anything, he just leaned down his lips gentle as he kissed her, he wanted her to know that more than anything he was sorry and that nothing would stop him from wanting her. If that made him a pussy while then fuck it, this was his girl, his La and they both hurt each other, but they came out the other side still together. When he pulled away they were both breathless, "I love you La."

Kayla let the tears fall, "I love you so much. I'm so sorry."

Happy ran a hand down her cheek, his thumb catching a few tears, "Me too girl, me too." He pulled her to him and held her as she sobbed into his chest. He pulled away a little and kissed her again, as his hands grabbed her ass to set her on the countertop, they both heard the kids, "PAPA."

Kayla laughed against his mouth when Happy growled. Tig came walking into the kitchen a few seconds later, putting his hands over his eyes, "Oh shit, sorry, could you not mount my kid in front of me?"

Happy glared at him, "Fucking knock."

Tig smiled at him, "I don't have to, I'm the PAPA, so bite me."

Kayla laughed, "Morning daddy."

Happy grabbed a cup of coffee trying to not kill his father in law for the cockblock. Kayla hopped off the counter smiling at her father, "Can I get you some coffee or something dad?"

Tig shook his head as Vic came running in and holding his arms up for his grandfather to pick him up. When he did he rubbed his goatee on the boy's face making him laugh, "Nah doll, Hap and I have shit to do today. You stay close to home today alright?"

Kayla nodded, "Sure, Simone is coming over later today to go over stuff for the baby shower. I'm sure mom will be by too. Will you two be home for dinner?" Most nights ever since all the shit with Happy and Kayla, Tig had been eating with them and watching television till late. Kayla knew it was to be a buffer between the two of them, god how she loved her dad.

Tig smiled, "Well I have a date tonight."

Kayla's face lit up, "What? You have a date tonight, with who?"

Happy started chuckling, "How much did you pay her?"

Tig punched him hard in the arm, "With an old friend who just moved back into town. I'll bring her around maybe."

Kayla tried to bite the insides of her cheeks to keep from smiling but it was useless, she was happy for her dad. She turned to her husband, "Will you be home for dinner?"

Happy looked her up and down making her blush, damn he loved that he could do that to her, "I'll at least be home for dessert. Keep your ass out of trouble you hear me?" He pulled her into his side and kissed her hard; letting her know all the bad things he planned on doing to her later.

Tig cleared his throat, "This is disturbing should I get hard watching that?"

Kayla and Happy both yelled at him, "STOP!"

Happy patted Kayla on the ass, "See you tonight, La."

Kayla kissed him once more quick, "Be safe big man." He nodded, a few minutes later after he and Tig had kissed the kids she heard the bikes roar to life and they were gone.

**-Hard to Love-**

Jax led the way into the small apartment that was leased to a John McGee. They had gotten the name of the witness from one of Oswald's judge friends. Happy, Tig, and Juice were vibrating as they took up the rear. Happy and Tig took the kitchen making sure that no one was there. As they were making their way back to the living room, they heard Jax, "JESUS CHRIST, Juice hold still. OPIE!"

When they all got into the bedroom, they saw Juice standing there he was a fraction away from setting off a trip wire that would've brought the whole place down. There were explosives wired all throughout the room.

Opie looked around the room in awe, "JESUS. Juice don't move. CHIBS, BOBBY, give me a hand."

The men worked together for over an hour to get Juice back out of the room without setting the bomb off, but Clay Morrow's eyes were busy staring at the army flask on the nightstand next to the bed. He swallowed hard, "Jax, this was meant for us. I know who John McGee is and if I'm right Kayla and your mother are both in danger."

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla had finally gotten the kids down for their nap; she had run them hard all day, going to the park and the grocery store. She hugged herself as she walked into the kitchen getting ready to make a cup of tea. She was humming to herself as she did. As she turned on the water, the patio door opened. She couldn't believe her eyes.

"Hello there darlin', my didn't you grow up into a beautiful woman. Now come over here and sit down with your daddy."

Kayla's eyes were focused on the gun that was aimed at her head. Her mind was a jumbled mess, how the fuck was JT still alive? What was he doing? He motioned for her to sit down at the table, she did folding her hands in front of her, "Dad, I thought you were dead, we all did."

JT snickered, sitting down across from her, "Yeah, Clay made sure I was gone for good. Fucker wanted my life and I guess he got it. Not that I cared since none of you kids were mine anyway."

Kayla shook her head, "Jax is yours, you know that. Jax loves you and so do I. Dad where have you been?"

JT snorted angrily, "Yeah you kids loved me. You know after Thomas died, when I was home you two were too busy going to Clay and Tig. Neither one of you wanted shit to do with me. That's why when Clay exiled me and made it look like I was dead, I didn't give a shit. I had another family in Ireland, with my Maureen and Trinity. But SAMCRO took that from me too, Clay took that from me, and now I'm going to take everything he cares about from him. You do know that Jax isn't mine either, who the fuck knows whose he is. Christ a blind man could see you're Tig's you fucking look and act just like him, the fucker."

Kayla shook her head, "Please put the gun away and we can talk this out. You know I love you, I mourned for you when I thought you were dead. It almost killed me. I'm still your daughter."

JT tear up and then shook his head, sliding a cell phone to her, "Call your mother, call her now. If you call anyone else I'll go upstairs and kill those little ones you love so much."

Kayla shook as she dialed her mother, she told Gemma that the kids were really sick and she was worried. She asked her if she would come right away, her mother had agreed and it didn't take long for Gemma to get to the house. JT stood behind the door as Kayla answered. Gemma came storming in, "Ok, where are they? Should we go to the hosp….." Gemma turned around and saw JT standing there with his gun.

JT smiled evilly at Gemma, "Hello honey I'm home. Now move your ass into the kitchen we need to have a family meeting."

When they got into the kitchen JT made Gemma tie Kayla up with a rope he found in the garage. Gemma glared at him, "Now what? You want to kill me John? Is that the plan? Well fucking do it!"

JT laughed, "Nope, not going to kill you, though I'm sure your precious Jackson and most of SAMCRO if not all of them are dead thanks to the bomb I planted in my apartment. See I have been following you all for a long time and I'm the one that went to the police and told them I saw your little bastard here and her friend sneak into Wendy's place. I figured that she'd get killed in jail, but she's tough like you and her father."

Gemma shook her head, "You can't take her from me, she had nothing to do with this, she was innocent. So was Jax and Thomas. You can't do this John, I loved you."

John huffed, the gun going right up against Gemma's forehead, "BULLSHIT! You couldn't keep your legs closed! You were always fucking someone else, you stupid bitch! You and Clay deserve each other, but I'll deal with him too. Stupid fucker, I wanted out of guns, out of all of this shit, when he found out him and Tig came for me. Told me if I was smart I'd go to Ireland and never come back. Told me I was exiled, he knew I would take the club in a different direction before I left. He took everything from me."

Gemma blinked back tears, "So this is about you losing your seat at the table? You stupid asshole!"

JT pushed the gun into her cheek, "No it's about my family. A year ago, SAMBEL bombed the store that I ran with my wife Maureen and my daughter Trinity. This is about taking from you and Clay everything, just like the two of you did to me. Now this is how this is going to work, I won't kill you if Kayla swallows this bottle of pain killers. It's a real bad habit drug addiction. No one will be the wiser; she's just another junkie that fell off the wagon. By the time they find her, we'll be long gone and then I'll reach out to Clay and we can settle this once and for all. Now what's it gonna be Kayla? I shot your mommy right here in front of you and then I kill your kids or you take those pills and kill yourself? How selfish are you?"

Kayla felt tears streaming down her face, Gemma lunged for the gun, but John slapped her sending her to the ground. When he took the safety off and cocked the gun, Kayla screamed, "OK, I'll do it. Please don't hurt them, please."

John poured out twenty pain killers in front of her and got a glass of water. He slowly feed them one by one to her; Gemma was still out cold on the floor. As Gemma finally started to come too, John gave her the last two pills. Gemma shook her head sitting up, "NO, NO, not my little girl. Jesus, Kayla."

John snickered, "Better kiss her mom; we have a long drive ahead of us. And I'm not the bad guy, I'll let you say good bye to your daughter it's more than I got when my Trinity was killed."

Gemma kissed her forehead, both mother and daughter sobbing, "I'm so sorry baby girl, this is all my fault. I'm so sorry."

Kayla just shook her head, "I love you mom. I really do. I hope you get out of this so you can take care of the kids. Tell Happy I love him."

John pulled Gemma away from Kayla, "That's enough. Let's go."

Gemma pleaded with him all the way out to the car, trying to get him to at least call someone to save Kayla, but John had snapped, losing his wife and daughter in Ireland had been the final straw to his sanity. As they pulled up he didn't see the powder blue pickup truck that held Simone.

**-Hard to Love-**

Once Kayla heard the front door shut she began rocking the chair back and forth, hoping that she could at least get her hands free. On the third try the chair went over and Kayla screamed when her wrist snapped under the weight of her and the chair. She worked as fast as she could getting her good hand free. Once it was she freed the broken hand and began sticking her finger down her throat, hoping to throw up the pain killers.

She could feel her head getting fuzzy and her heart beating faster and faster. She gagged herself again and brought up more pills, but it wasn't enough. She was slipping into a warm darkness, she prayed that Happy was alright and he would take care of their kids.

**-Hard to Love-**

Simone opened the door and smiled, she figured that Kayla must have gotten a nap with the kids. She tip toed upstairs and peeked into the kid's room. On seeing both of the little ones asleep she absently touched her now eight month large stomach. Soon it would be her that had a little one running around. She smiled as she stepped into Kayla and Happy's room, but there was no one there. Maybe Kayla was in the backyard, so she went back down stairs and started into the kitchen when she saw Kayla's lifeless body on the floor.

She went to her, untying her legs and laying her flat on her back. Simone felt for a pulse, but found nothing, "Oh Jesus Kayla, you can't do this to me." Simone pulled out her cell phone and dialed 911 putting it on speaker phone.

As it was dialing she started CPR, the operator finally answer, "911 what is your emergency?"

Simone was out of breath, her pregnant belly making it difficult to perform CPR, but she wasn't giving up on Kayla, "My friend isn't breathing, I'm doing CPR. We're at 755 Willowbrook Lane. Please HURRY."

Simone kept working not giving up, as she worked she talked to her friend tears streaming down her face, "God damn it Kayla, you can't do this to your family. Happy needs you, the kids need you. This will send Herman over the fucking edge, I need you my friend, don't leave us. Hang on, you hear me?"

It seemed like forever when the paramedics arrived and took over. As the paramedics were loading her into the ambulance Simone heard the bikes come down the street. Happy was off his bike first.

Happy saw the ambulance and panic ripped through his body. He ran up to the paramedics who were helping Kayla breath, "What the fuck happened?"

The paramedic stopped him, "I'm sorry sir you have to stay back."

Happy lunged at the man, his eyes wild, "THAT'S MY WIFE YOU STUPID FUCKER!"

Simone and Tig pulled him back, "She wasn't breathing when I got here, she was tied to a chair. She had thrown up pills; I think someone made her take them."

Before Happy or Tig could say anything, the paramedics were scrambling, "I've lost her pulse, charging paddles."

Happy felt his world spinning out of control as he watched them work on his wife, when they got a weak pulse, they ushered him into the ambulance and they sped toward St. Thomas. Happy leaned down to her ear, "La, this ain't gonna happen. We've been through too much shit. You fight your way back to me La, you hear me. You fight for me."

**Ok, so huge huge drama and wow I brought John Teller back from the dead….teehee….so now I'll hide under my rock, oh it's just getting good! If it makes you feel better I started crying at a few parts… Let me know what you think**** Hugs, Kaye**


	22. Shortcomings, Endings, and New Beginning

Chapter 22….Shortcomings, Endings, and New Beginnings

**First off let me say you guys blow me away with your love of Kayla and Happy! Thank you guys so much. I know throwing JT into the mix was a real shock, but I thought it would be something a little bit different. So thank you for the support…..I hope this new update gets the same love! Ok here we go…enjoy the ride, Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

Put your lighter in the air and lead me back home,

When it's all said and done I'll follow the echo,

I hear you night after night calling out my name,

And I find myself running to meet you,

I didn't want to escape from the bricks that I laid down,

You were the only one, the only one to taste me,

Trust me and Believes me,

You were the only one, the only one that knows me, and in the dark you show me,

Yeah it's totally wreck less, Damn you leave me defenseless, So Break In

Break in – Halestrom

Happy replayed the words over and over in his head, heart valve, damage to great from the onslaught of pain pills, mixed with the stress of her situation and a small genetic defect. The doctor's had gone on but the words that were screaming at him were possible death. The doctor had said the surgery would be tricky, that he couldn't guarantee her survival. Happy just nodded his head to the doctors, "Just do what you have to do."

After the doctor had nodded at him, he retreated Happy had sat down in one of the hard plastic emergency room chairs and stared at the trauma doors, they won't let him back with her. Somewhere back in the maze of St. Thomas' hallways his wife, his old lady, the mother to his children, was being prepped for surgery and there wasn't a god damn thing the man known as the Tacoma Killer could do about it.

The last few months played over and over in his head, almost making him dizzy. He had panicked acted like an asshole, pushed her away, he had cheated, she had cheated. She had cheated, at the moment that didn't seem like such a bad thing, he'd let her do anything at this point if she would just walk through those doors and smile at him, tell him this was all a bad dream. He had only ever loved one woman in his whole life beside her and that was his mother. What the hell was he going to do if she didn't make it? Happy just continued to stare at those god damn doors, she had to be alright.

**-Hard to Love-**

When Tig finally got to the emergency room his eyes found Hap. Tig walked toward Happy, he could tell his body was tense, his jaw was twitching. Tig sat down next to the man, "Tara has the kids."

Happy snapped his head toward his father-in-law, "Why the fuck doesn't Simone have them?"

Tig sighed, "She went into labor. Kozic said it was probably the stress of all this shit. He took her upstairs a few minutes ago."

Happy ran a tired hand over his face, "Shit, this just keeps getting better and fucking better."

Tig nodded, "What did the doctors say?"

Happy sat back and sighed, "Said something about one of her heart valves being fucked up. They're going to try and repair the damage, taking her to surgery now. So why'd you do it? Why'd you help Clay fake JT's death?"

Tig shook his head, "I don't know man. I'm a fucking soldier, I follow orders. It's something I do well. When Clay came to me and said that JT wanted out, but with JT still alive he couldn't be with Gemma, I just went along for the ride. I didn't think it would ever come back to bite my ass. Let alone hurt Kayla."

Happy stood up his frame towering over Tig's, "If she dies….."

Tig stood up going toe to toe with his son-in-law, "If she dies, I'll load the gun for you." Tig turned and walked out of the emergency room, he wasn't going to do his little girl any good sitting there, he needed to help get her mother back and make sure that JT was dead for good this time.

**-Hard to Love-**

The Redwood Table was in chaos as everyone screamed at each other. Jax had tried to get across it no less than three times to grab Clay; this was getting them nowhere fast. Juice shook his head in disbelief, he knew when Happy called in from the hospital, he was going to want to know what the fuck was being done to stop JT. Juice stood up and whistled hard, the room went still as all eyes were on him, "SIT THE FUCK DOWN! This isn't getting us anywhere, we still need to find Gemma and JT has to be dealt with. We can't do that if we're killing each other."

Everyone stared at the usually quiet intelligence officer. Bobby cleared his throat, "Juice is right! We need to figure this shit out! Everyone sit the fuck down."

The table grew quiet as they all sat down. Clay running a hand over his head, "I should've came to the club when JT told me he wanted out. But I loved Gemma so much, I knew if JT was dead and she was a widow the club would let me be with her. But I loved JT, I couldn't kill him, so I got Tig and we arranged everything. Now Tig just did what I asked, he wasn't part of the plan, that all fell on me."

Jax was simmering with rage; Opie had one hand on his shoulder, while Chibs stood on his other side, "Why? Why would he do this? All of his writings, he was a good man! This guy isn't my father."

Clay took a deep breath, "Your father was broken after Thomas died, he lost himself. I think he had a break from reality. I'm so sorry son."

Jax struggled against Opie and Chibs, his face bright red, "You stupid son of a bitch! All your games and lies have probably killed my mom and my sister!"

Before Clay could answer Rat came in with Clay's prepay in his hand, "It's him. He says he will only talk to Clay."

Clay took the phone from Rat and sighed, "JT."

JT chuckled, "Well if it isn't my best friend in the whole wide fucking world."

Clay looked at Jax, "You have something that belongs to me."

JT took a deep breath, "Well she once belonged to me too, so isn't possession nine tenths the law in this case? Tell you what, you get your ass up to the bluebird property and maybe, just maybe I'll trade her for you. Say how's Kayla?"

Clay felt his blood boil, "She's not your concern, her FATHER is taking care of her and her old man. Now put Gemma on the phone, I'm not coming if she's not alright."

Clay listened to the silence and then Gemma's voice flowed over the phone line, "Clay, is she alive?"

Clay closed his eyes, drinking in his wife's voice, "Yeah she's fine baby. I'm coming for you."

She didn't answer, JT had already taken the phone back, "See you soon Clay." Then the phone went dead.

**-Hard to Love-**

An hour later Clay pulled up to the old Blue bird property. The others were hiding nearby; he scanned the area waiting for JT. A few seconds later JT emerged from the tree line with Gemma in tow, "Clay it's good to see you."

Clay stared at the now darkening bruise on Gemma's face, "Hey baby you alright?"

Gemma nodded her head, "I'm fine Clay."

JT grinned, "Well isn't this sweet, just wish I had Tig and Kayla here and everyone that ruined my life could be taken care of all at once."

Clay took a step closer and JT pulled Gemma closer to him, the gun cold against her temple, "Your guns, throw them out onto the ground."

Clay sighed pulling his weapons out and throwing them onto the ground. JT motioned to him to get down on the ground, which Clay did. JT pushed Gemma down on the ground with her husband. Clay grabbed her hand, "I love you baby. I always did, I always will."

JT slammed his boot down into Clay's back, "Shut up. Now I think I'll kill the whore first. That way you can watch her die."

JT raised his gun. Jax screamed, "NO!" JT looked up and watched as his son came walking toward him, "You can't do this dad, you can't do this. Remember what you said in your writings, there's nothing more important than family. I'm your family, they're MY family. That's my mom, you can't fucking do this."

JT felt tears welling up in his eyes, "Jackson, is that you?"

Jax nodded stopping just in front of his mom and Clay that were on the ground, "It's me. I have two little boys of my own, Abel and Thomas. I have a great old lady; I'm VP of the club. Dad, I'm trying to make you proud of me, please don't fuck that up. Don't fuck up how I feel about you by killing my mom. Kayla and I love you; she was destroyed when we thought you were dead. She has two kids. You're a grandfather four times over. Just put the gun down and we'll fucking talk about this."

JT felt a tear roll down his cheek, "You know I meant every word in those writings, don't you son?"

Jax nodded, "Yeah, I'm gonna get us out of guns, move us toward more legit businesses, just like you wanted. You could watch that."

JT nodded, "I would like that, but we both know what I've done, you can't let that go unanswered. I love you son, raise your boys strong and proud."

Jax felt like the world went into slow motion, one minute JT was talking and the next he moved his gun to his mouth blowing the back of his head out. Jax screamed, but it was too late, his father had taken his own life. Jax fell to his knees, sobs wrecking his body. Gemma sat up pulling her son to her rocking him back and forth. Clay just stared at the now lifeless body of John Teller.

**-Hard to Love-**

The only good news of the day was little Nicole Kayla Kozic had been born at nine that evening. Kozic had come down to the surgery waiting room to tell the SONS that were now awaiting word from Tara about Kayla. Everyone slapped the new father on the back, he looked exhausted. Happy gave him a hug, "Congratulations man. Give your old lady my best."

Kozic nodded pulling away from him, "How's Kayla? Simone is already asking me."

Happy looked grim, "She's out of surgery but we haven't heard anything else. We're waiting on Tara for the next update, she's in recovery, but I don't know anything else."

Kozic nodded, "Alright man, keep us updated. I'm sorry I can't wait with you."

Happy cocked his head toward the elevators, "No man, get back to your family. They need you, I've got this."

Kozic shook his head and retreated back toward the elevator and disappeared. Happy was getting ready to sit down when Tara came walking toward them. Everyone crowded behind Happy and Tig, Tara gave them a weak smile, "The surgery was a success, they couldn't repair the valve, there was too much damage, but they were able to replace it. Unfortunately they had to crack her chest, so that means a little longer recovery time."

Happy sighed, "Is she going to be alright?"

Tara crossed her arms, "We need to see when she wakes up, but so far everything points toward a full recovery. Over the next few months she needs to be in a stress less environment. It will give her heart time to heal and readjust to the new valve. Do you want to see her?"

Happy nodded, "Tig too?"

Tara smiled, "Tig too."

Just as they were turning to walk toward the ICU, Gemma, Clay, and Jax stepped off the elevator. Gemma ran up to them, "Is she alright?"

Tig smiled hugging her, "She's gonna be just fine Gem. Tara take Hap in, Gem and I will wait. Hap take your time."

Happy nodded falling into step behind Tara, his stomach clenching with worry and doubt, but at least she survived the surgery.

**-Hard to Love-**

Tara eased open the door to Kayla's room, she held the door open for Happy smiling at him. Happy took a deep breath getting himself ready for what he was about to see, but there was a nurse blocking his view. When the nurse stepped aside he looked into the blue eyes of his wife.

Kayla smiled at him, her voice slurring, "Hey big guy."

Happy felt his throat close up, "Hey La."

Tara smiled, "I'll leave you two, nurse can we go over Mrs. Lowman's chart." Tara and the nurse disappeared the door closing, leaving Happy and Kayla staring at each other.

Happy took a few steps toward the bed, taking in the vision of his wife, she looked tried. Her face was pale and he could see a white bandage running up from underneath her hospital gown. "You scared me."

Kayla nodded a few tears falling down her cheeks, "I'm sorry. He said….he said he would…the kids….OH GOD, where are the kids? Where's my mom?"

Happy crossed the room leaning down over her, his hands caressing her face, "That's enough, everyone is fine. Simone found you; she saved your fucking life, doing CPR till the ambulance got there. Neeta has the kids at Jax's, the guys just got your mom here a little bit ago, she's fine."

Kayla nodded, her eyes still burning with tears, "Did they…did they kill him?"

Happy eased himself onto the bed, he leaned himself down so that his forehead touched hers, "He did it himself, Jax is a mess, but Gemma is handling that."

Kayla sobbed hard, her hand going to her chest. Happy grabbed the sides of her face, "Shhh, come on girl, it's not going to help you get better. If you don't settle down they'll kick my ass out of here. Come on La, you need to heal. He was a sick man baby; you didn't do anything to cause this."

Kayla nodded, her hands fisting into his kutte. Happy kept stroking her hair and whispering to her, "I'm here, everyone is fine. Please baby."

Kayla looked up at him, "I was so scared."

Happy half lay down on her, his face buried into her hair, "I know baby, but he's gone. No one is going to hurt you anymore baby."

Kayla stared at him as he pulled away from her to look into her face, his thumbs wiping away stray tears, "Why does it keep happening to me? When will I stop being the victim?"

Happy frowned, he fucking hated that she felt like that, "You're a strong bitch! You put up with all my shit. You had those two kids alone and didn't blink an eye, you're tough. So stop talking like that. Not to mention you have a new little niece upstairs that needs her godmother."

Happy watched as Kayla's face softened, "Simone? She had the baby?"

Happy smiled, "Yeah La, Nicole Kayla was born just about an hour ago. If you promise to calm down, I'll see if Koz will bring them down to see you tomorrow. Now your mom and dad are waiting to see you. Do you think you can handle that?" Kayla nodded her head, Happy leaned in and kissed her softly, his thumb trace a pattern on her cheek, "I love you La, please don't scare me again, I can't lose you."

Kayla nodded, they sat like that their foreheads touching, just staring at each other. When Happy heard the door open he turned to see Tig and Gemma standing there. Happy moved letting her parents see she was awake. Gemma was next to her bed kissing her, "Baby girl, I was so scared."

Kayla nodded, "I'm fine mom, really. Just sore." Gemma nodded, a few stray tears escaping the hard woman's eyes. Kayla looked at Tig, "Hey daddy."

Tig's voice cracked, "Hey peanut. You look like shit."

Kayla laughed and grabbed her chest, "Damn that hurts."

Happy went to the door, growling toward the nurse's station, "She needs some fucking pain meds."

Kayla shook her head, "I can't. Remember I'm an addict. I'll be fine."

Happy scowled at her, "There's got to be something they can fucking give you, I'm going to find a god damn doctor."

Kayla looked at Tig, as her husband disappeared out the door, "Will you please go keep the hospital staff safe."

Tig chuckled, "Yeah I got this."

Once both men were gone, Kayla looked at her mother, "Is Jax alright?"

Gemma sighed stroking her daughter's hair, "Yeah, he'll be fine baby. Don't you worry about all the shit outside this room. Your babies are fine; you are going to be fine. Just please take care of healing."

Kayla nodded her head as the door came open, Kayla's doctor walking in front of her pissed off husband and her father. "Mrs. Lowman, I've order some morphine for you. We'll keep a close eye on you, but with the surgery you had I'm afraid pain meds are the only way you're going to sleep and sleep helps with the healing process. So I'm going to give you some, it's probably time to leave everyone."

Happy stood rod straight, "I'm staying here."

Before the doctor could protest, Kayla looked up at the doctor, "Please I'll rest better if he's here."

The doctor nodded his head and pushed the morphine into her IV. Kayla kissed her parents and waited for them to leave. Once they were gone she watched as Happy pulled a chair next to her bed. Kayla gave him a sluggish smile, "Trying to get closer big guy?"

Happy laughed leaning up to kiss her, he took a deep breath of her scent, "Go to sleep you naughty bitch. Trying to flirt with me when you're laid up."

Kayla closed her eyes a small smirk on her lips, "Asshole."

Happy chuckled as he kissed her hand, "Go to bed bitch."

Kayla yawned as the meds began to work, her head getting swimmy, "Sweet talker."

Happy sat with her as the machines beeped around them, he knew they had a long road to go, but he never thought in his life he would love a woman like he loved her. He put his down on the bed, still holding her hand, he watched as her chest rose and fell letting her breathing send him off to sleep.

**There's still a lot of fallout from JT, but at least they are on the upswing of things. One more chapter till the Skinny vs. Happy blows up! But the next one will be them all trying to settle in with a lot of changes coming to the club. Ok, do your thing! Happy New Year! You guys all rock! Hugs, Kaye.**


	23. Unanswered

Chapter 23….Unanswered

**Well here we go….the introduction of Skinny and Happy to each other! HA! I was trapped in the car for stinking ever today and this came to me….so I'm sharing it with all of you! Enjoy!**

**-Hard to Love-**

Two weeks, that's how long she had been trapped in that stupid hospital room. Sure there was always someone there with her, but she was going crazy! She wanted to go home, where her things were, where her kids were, but NOOOO, two more days the doctor had said before he turned tail and ran. Of course when she threatened to check herself out against doctor's orders Happy had a shit fit. So here she sat with Half-Sack watching a Snapped marathon on the Oxygen channel, just because it was the only thing they could both agree on.

Kayla was getting ready to close her eyes when her room door opened to reveal Skinny standing there smirking at her. Kayla smiled, "Hey there, what are you doing here?"

Skinny shot a quick glance at Half-Sack who was now standing with his arms crossed giving Skinny his best glare. "Should I come back?"

Kayla turned to Half-Sack, "Kip, he's an old friend from Colorado, would you mind grabbing us a coffee?"

Half-Sack glanced at her and then Skinny, "I really shouldn't, Happy will fucking flip."

Kayla gritted her teeth, "KIP, Happy told you to make sure I was happy and calm. You doing this is, not making me happy and for sure not calm. Now two coffees, Skinny likes his black."

Half-Sack sighed and retreated out the door, but not before he glared at Skinny, "I'll be right back."

When he was gone Skinny laughed, "Nice little terrier guard dog you have there."

Kayla stretched, "What are you doing here?"

Skinny came over and sat down grabbing her hand, "I was worried your old man put you in here. Lynn called me, she wanted me to draw up something for Juice for his birthday and she mentioned you were in here. What the fuck happened?"

Kayla sighed, "You really shouldn't be here you know that, Kip is probably calling Hap right now."

Skinny laughed, "Your old man doesn't scare me, you know that." Kayla was well aware of Skinny's side work and she knew he could hold his own against Hap, but the one thing Hap would have on his side was blind rage.

Kayla sat up more in the bed turning off the television, "Just my stupid heart. We have a family defect that finally caught up with me. So you here for business?"

Skinny leaned back in his chair, "Yeah, a big tattoo show in Stockton, but really it was just an excuse to see you. How you feeling? How's things going with the old man? Need a little distraction?" He wiggled his eyebrows and gave her one of his hundred watt smiles.

Kayla smirked and rolled her eyes, "Things are going fine, I'm sorry I brought you into this."

Skinny stood up and brushed a few curls from her face, "Well you know if you need me, I'm just a phone call away." He leaned over and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. "I'll see ya."

Kayla smiled at him, "Stay safe Skinny." He winked at her and disappeared out the door. As soon as he was gone Kip opened the door looking more nervous than he did before. Kayla sighed, she knew Happy was on his way, now she wished she was still bored, because in a few minutes she was going to have a very pissed off biker on her hands. She sunk down on the bed and turned on the television, maybe she could fake a heart attack.

**-Hard to Love-**

When Sack had called and told him that some big ass motherfucker was in Kayla's room alone he was pissed. He nodded to Tig who was working on the car next time. Tig wiped his hands on his grease rag, "What's up?" He had to almost run to keep up with Happy as he walked across the lot toward his bike.

Happy growled when he sat down on his bike, "Some asshole came to visit your daughter. Sack said she told him, the guy is an old friend from Colorado."

Tig sighed getting on his bike, "Shit." They rode hard through the streets and reached St. Thomas in record time. When Happy saw the crowd of people in front of the elevators he headed for the stairs taking them two at a time. Tig huffing behind him trying to keep up.

When they got to her floor, Happy watched as a large muscular dude got onto the elevator. When their eyes met the asshole smirked at him, before Happy could get to the elevator the doors closed. Happy turned around and Tig felt sick watching his eyes turn black and his fist clench at his sides.

Tig headed him off before he went into Kayla's room, "Remember what the doc said she has to stay calm. He wasn't here long, so nothing happened."

Happy cocked his head at him, speaking through clenched teeth, "That son of a bitch is HIM. I fucking know it in my blood."

Tig pulled him closer, "So what? You gonna go blow his fucking head off? You think that will fix things? If that's the case then Kayla should just go down and clear out ALL the croweaters at the clubhouse and then ride up to Tacoma and kill those bitches too. I know how much fucking around you did, she only knows about one. Now you either pull your ass together or I'll let her loose."

Happy stormed passed him, when he opened the door to her room she was sitting looking through a magazine. She smiled at him, "Hey big guy what are you doing here in the middle of the afternoon?"

Happy nodded to Half Sack, "OUT." Sack scrambled to get out of the room.

Happy stalked over to her, his knees hitting the hospital bed, "Who was here?"

Kayla kept her eyes on the magazine, "My friend from Colorado."

Happy balled up his fist; he pulled the magazine from her hands and tossed it across the room, "WHO WAS HERE?"

Kayla crossed her arms and sighed, "His name is Skinny, he used to date my old roommate from college. He was in town and stopped by to see how I was."

Happy leaned in closer to her, his eyes black, "HOW DID HE KNOW YOU WERE IN HERE?"

Kayla pursed her lips, "Lynn told him. She asked him to work on a tattoo for Juice. He was worried, he was here for a few minutes and he left. Kip was outside the whole time."

Happy punched the bed making her jump, "He's the one…..right? He's the one you fucked?"

Kayla sighed sitting up more, as Happy paced back and forth, "I didn't ask him to come. I haven't talked to him since I left Colorado."

Happy stopped and stared at her, his eyes narrowing, "You love him?"

Kayla threw the blankets off and struggled to her feet. She moved in front of him putting her hands gently on his chest, "I love you big guy. Only you, please don't do this, when you push me away you end up buried in someone else's pussy. We have to stop this Hap, unless you want to be done."

Happy grabbed her arms, "Don't fucking talk like that. Who the fuck do you think you are getting pissed at me when the asshole you fucked comes walking into the hospital…..Wait…he was working on a tattoo for Juice? How many of your tats has he done?"

Kayla backed up against the bed as Happy crowded her, when she hit the bed hard; he tilted her head up so she had to look at him. "All but two." The words coming out soft.

Happy's mind raced, "So you've been fucking him for years? BULLSHIT! You don't keep going back unless there's something there!"

Kayla wiped at a few tears that had slipped down her face, "You don't know shit about me."

Happy grabbed her arms hard pulling her up so they were standing chest to chest; he cocked his head to the side, "Enlighten me then."

Kayla choked back a small sob, "It was just sex for fuck sakes!"

Happy wasn't going to let up; he squeezed her arms harder, "DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME! What he make you cum harder than me?"

Kayla looked down at the ground, "NO! You asshole! He always made me feel safe, it was just sex. Let it go."

Happy shook his head, "Either fucking tell me what you're holding back or I'll hunt him down now and put a bullet in lover boy's head."

Kayla shrugged, "Kill him, I don't love him."

Happy pushed her back onto the bed with more force than he wanted to. As soon as she hit the bed she grabbed her chest, tears streaming down her face, "YOU ASSHOLE! You want to know why I kept going back to him. Do you really want to know?"

Happy nodded, his chest heaving. Kayla looked up at him, anger coming off her in waves, "He let me dominate him! Is that what you want to know? That I couldn't have sex with a guy until you, unless I tied him up? Is that what you fucking wanted to know? Before you the only way I got off was if pain was involved?"

He stared at her; he couldn't believe the shit coming out of her mouth. They had sex, they had great sex, but she had never been into the pain thing. Kayla glared at him, "Maybe we should talk about all the croweaters? What do you think? All the fucked up shit you did with them and don't tell me you didn't."

Happy ran a hand over his head, "So you what? You tied him up? That big ass man liked to get his ass beat?"

Kayla glared at him, "He begged for it."

Happy raised his hand; he wanted to hit her so fucking bad, who the fuck was this woman? He stopped himself when she flinched, not sure what to think. Both their heads snapped when Tig opened the door, he glared at Happy, "Everything alright in here kids?"

Kayla snorted, "Happy was just leaving."

**-Hard to Love-**

Four days later she hadn't seen him since the blow up at the hospital. Tig and her mom had come by, even Jax and Tara, but Happy had stayed away. Lynn picked her up at the hospital, giving her a sad look, "Straight home then?"

Kayla shook her head, "Take me to my mom's. I just talked to her, the kids are there and she said I can stay with them for now."

Lynn patted her hand, "I'm really sorry I told Skinny about you. I never would've thought he would come."

Kayla gave her friend a weak smile, "It's alright, I made my bed, now I'm just laying in it."

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy had volunteered to help out the NOMADS and Quinn on a protection run into Canada. He needed the road to clear his head, there was just too much shit in there. Skinny Johnson's address was burning a hole in his kutte, he needed to go see the stupid fucker, in fact Happy had been planning the man's death since that day in the hospital. Once the protection run was done, he asked Quinn to follow him to Colorado. He had been checking in with Tig and was pissed as hell that Kayla didn't go home; instead she was staying with HIS KIDS at Gemma's house. How did things get so fucked up?

When Happy and Quinn finally made Colorado Springs they got a motel room and slept. The next day Happy pulled his Dyna up to the front of Empire Ink, Skinny's shop. He had told Quinn he wanted to go alone, but would call him if shit got to crazy. Happy left his gloves on as he swung off his bike. He crossed the lot fast; when he pulled the door to the shop open his eyes fell on the bastard's back. He was leaning over some little college girl. A slender kid with ink and gauges was behind the desk, "Can we help you?"

Happy growled, "Here to see Skinny."

Skinny turned and looked at him, giving him a half smile, "Wondered when you were going to show up. Let me finish this up and we'll 'TALK'."

Once Skinny finished up the ink on the college girl and had sent the slender kid packing he locked the front door and put up the closed sign. Happy stood taking him in, the guy was his height, but twice as wide as Happy and ripped. Happy cracked his neck, "You've been fucking around with my old lady."

Skinny folded his arms and leaned against the wall, "Well if it counts she usually fucks me, but this time she let me fuck her."

Happy was on him, his right connected with Skinny's jaw, but the man came back and delivered a rib shot that sent Happy stumbling back. Happy growled as he advanced again running at Skinny he planted him on the ground. Once Skinny hit the floor with a thud, he stood up and went to put his boot down on the man's stomach, but Skinny grabbed his boot, twisted, and threw Happy into the reception desk. Skinny came up behind him and got him in a bear hug, "You have enough yet?"

Happy snarled, "Not even fucking close." He delivered a backward head butt temporarily blinding Skinny as he staggered backwards. The two men fell to the floor both of them breathing heavy. Skinny and Happy glared at each other for the longest time.

Finally Skinny got up and held his hand out for Happy, "We need to talk now, if after we talk you still want to kill my ass then we'll do it like men, not a couple of bitches."

Happy slapped at his hand, but pulled himself up and followed Skinny back to his office. Happy watched as Skinny pulled his shirt off and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and flopped into his chair. Skinny took a gulp of whiskey and then offered the bottle to him. Happy took a drink and handed it back, "Why the fuck does she keep coming back?"

Skinny shook his head, when he smiled Happy took a little pleasure in seeing his teeth were bloody, "I gave her back her power."

Happy wrinkled his eyebrows, "What the fuck do you mean you gave her back her power?"

Skinny sighed, "You didn't know her after the rape. You didn't know her after the addiction. She was broken. She came in here one night with a group of girls from the college, she was so cute. She didn't want to get an ink'd she came with her friends. While the others were busy getting ink'd by my other artists I sat down next to her, she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. I'd seen that look before, my mother was a rape survivor and she had that same look. I chatted her up and talked her into a tat. The first one I did on her was that cameo. Her friends got done first; my guys went home, so it was just the two of us. You're married to her, she's fucking hot. You should've seen the nineteen year old version of her; I was pushing up on that hard. But she wasn't having it, I could tell the longer I had her in the chair and we were alone the more nervous she got."

Skinny took another drink and sighed, "So I asked her."

Happy narrowed his eyes at him, "What did you ask her?"

Skinny looked up at him, "I asked her who raped her. She froze. Got up told me that she didn't want to finish the tattoo. I stopped her, telling her that sometimes it just helps to talk about it. I finally got her back into the chair; I admit I gave her a shit load of whiskey. She finally told me what they did to her."

Happy sat down in the chair across from him, "What does this have to do with you fucking her?"

Skinny smirked, "You know they tied her up right?" Happy didn't say anything, his face was blank. No one in SAMCRO knew what happened that night she got taken. He wasn't sure he could handle knowing the details. Skinny sighed, "When she was finished with her story, I asked her if she had been with anyone else. She smiled and told me one of her good friends gave her one hell of a night, but that she was afraid to have sex with anyone else. We talked until the early hours of the morning. When she left I told her next time she needed ink done, we could take it out in trade. She blushed saying she wasn't that kind of girl. I told her that she would be in control, I could tell she was thinking about it."

Happy snorted, "So she let you fuck her….is there an end to this story? Cuz if you think this is helping me not want to put a fucking bullet in your head, it's fucking not."

Skinny laughed, "I see why she likes you, blunt to the point. She came back, but we set rules. She needed experience and honestly I'm kind of a sick fuck. I taught her things, she taught me things. But she was always in control. I scratched an itch for her, nothing more. Fuck I hadn't even seen her in three years until you fucked around on her."

Happy leaned closer to his desk, "BUT YOU FUCKED HER."

Skinny laughed, "Yup, I fucked her, she fucked me. It was hot and messy, but it meant shit to her. The only reason I stopped by to see her was because I thought you had put her in the hospital."

Happy stood up and towered over his desk, "What would you do about it if I did?"

Before Happy could blink Skinny was over the desk, he put Happy into a choke hold and slammed his head against the desk. Skinny's voice rang in Happy's ears, "Because you blind motherfucker, I'm a killer like you. If I wanted to, I could snap your neck." Skinny pushed away from Happy, "But I won't because she loves you."

Happy stood up his hand on his gun, Skinny smiled at him, "Go ahead, I've made my peace with God. But if you kill me, you'll never know what happened to Ramirez, because I know you want to know that story."

Happy lunged at him and they rolled around on the floor, each man giving as good as he got. When they came up for air again the office was a mess and they were both holding their ribs and bleeding. Happy was exhausted; he had never gone toe to toe with someone that was his equal. Happy looked over at Skinny who was struggling to breath just like him, he growled and decked the man again. Both of them falling to the ground. "If you fuck my old lady again while I'm breathing I'll fucking kill you."

Skinny nodded, "If you cheat on her again I'll fucking kill you."

Happy nodded, sitting up his back against what use to be Skinny's desk. Skinny laughed, "How about a drink and I'll tell you everything you want to know about Ramirez." Happy nodded, too tired to do anything else.

By the time Happy got back to the motel and got Quinn he was a mess. He took a shower and Quinn helped him dress the numerous cuts on his face and wrap his broken ribs. Quinn laughed, "Did you kill him?"

Happy glared at him, "We came to an understanding." Quinn just smirked and started packing up.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy had said good bye to Quinn and rode straight through to Charming only stopping to gas up. When he got into town two days later his ribs were fucking killing him and he was exhausted, but he was going to get his family. He pulled into Gemma's driveway, he sighed it was early, the sun just barely peeking out from the horizon.

He opened his phone and called Gemma, who answered quickly and came to open the door for him. Gemma put one hand on her hip, "I don't want any trouble."

Happy sighed, "Just here to get my wife and kids."

Gemma nodded letting him inside, "You look like shit, why don't you just crash on the couch and get some sleep before her and the kids get up."

Happy nodded, "That might be good." Happy watched his mother-in-law head back toward her bedroom and he bedded down on the couch, figuring that a few hours of sleep would help.

When he woke back up he heard the god damn wiggles singing on the television and there was a weight on his stomach. He opened one eye and saw Vic sitting there eating toast staring at the television, "What the hell are you doing little buddy?"

Vic turned and smiled at his dad, "Eatin'."

Happy smiled, "Eating, can I have a bite?"

Vic shook his head and gave his dad a bite of his toast. Happy took a big bite and grinned at his son who started giggling. Nora came over to them and kissed her dad getting jelly all over his cheek. Happy sighed pulling both of his sticky from toast kids into his arms, the kids laughed as he rubbed three days worth of stubble against their faces.

When Kayla had gotten up and seen him sleeping on the couch she didn't know what to think about how he got all the bruises on his face. She had the urge to call Quinn and find out what the hell had happened but she didn't. She watched from the doorway as he loved all over their kids, her heart hurt. She missed him so much. She smiled, "Ok, you two let daddy wake up more. Both of you upstairs Nana Gemma has a bath ran to wash off the jelly."

Happy looked at her, his girl was beautiful, beautiful and strong. He kissed the kids one more time and watched them go running upstairs. He pulled out a smoke from his kutte and followed her into the kitchen where she was slowly cleaning up the mess from breakfast. He sighed, "We need to talk."

Kayla nodded, going to the sliding doors of the patio and stepping outside. Happy followed her and lit his cigarette. Kayla sat down on one of the lawn chairs and stared at the grass, Happy sat down near her watching her face. He sighed, "I don't know how to do this. I never wanted to be an old man, have kids. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."

Kayla looked at him and shook her head, "I figured that was what you came here for. Well don't worry I won't keep them from you." She started to stand and Happy caught her wrist.

"Sit the fuck down La. That's not what I meant; I meant I have no fucking clue how to do this. I've never told someone when I'm hurting or pissed. There's shit you don't know about me and I'm finding out there's shit I don't know about you. The shit in the past doesn't matter, what matters now is our future. We need to fucking talk to each other."

Kayla sighed, sitting back down, "I fucking try, you're not the easiest person to talk to Hap. I've told you a million times how sorry I am. I've told you that."

Happy nodded his head, "I heard you, just having trouble dealing with the fact that some parts of you I don't know."

Kayla sat up folding her hands on her knees, staring at them, "But there are parts of you I don't know. The side of you that you use for the club, I've seen parts of it, but never really seen that side of you. But I still accept you for who you are and I don't want you to change. I just want you to be all in with me, I want to be enough for you."

Happy eyed her for a few minutes, "We're a lot alike, we both have our dark sides. Just like both of us has killed."

Kayla stared at him, she knew in that moment that Skinny had told him about Ramirez, she closed her eyes and sunk back into the chair, "Yeah, we have a lot in common. I guess I know where you got those bruises."

Happy smirked at her, "You didn't think I'd let that shit at the hospital go unanswered did you?"

Kayla stared at the ground, "What do you want to do?"

Happy reached for her hand tugging her up as he stood, his hand tracing a soft pattern on her cheek, "I want it all, La." His lips crushed hers, she tried to pull away at first, but he won't let her. When she moaned and fisted his shirt in her hands, his tongue invaded her mouth. When they finally pulled away they were both breathless.

Kayla smiled at him, her hand going to his rock hard chest, "Take us home big guy."

Happy smiled, growling as he kissed her again, "Abso-fucking-lutely."

**Well I hope you all enjoyed Skinny vs. Happy. Skinny will be back around, I have plans…evil plans….Not to mention the fact that we now know that Kayla was there when Ramirez died. Remember the two Mayans that took her when she was sixteen were Alaverz Jr and the Mayan VP Ramirez, but I never said what happened to him. That will be coming up. Ok, let me know what you think**** Hugs, Kaye**


	24. Heartbeats and Broken Hearts

Chapter 24….heartbeats and broken hearts

**So the Skinny/Happy fight was to your liking! I'm so glad! I wasn't sure if you all would like me leaving him alive, either one in some cases, but I liked how they were evenly matched. And NO, Happy isn't going to cheat again, that is nowhere in the plans and I've mapped out to Chapter 35. Ok, so sit back relax and read! Oh if I haven't said it in a while I adore all of you and if you were all men I'd married you for your sweet reviews! Enjoy the ride! Kaye**

**p.s. I don't own SOA, the wonderful Kurt Sutter does, but if I could I would so own TIG…LOL**

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla smiled as she leaned against the railing of her mother's patio; a lot of things had changed in Charming in the six months since JT had made his appearance. First thing was her big brother now held the gravel. While she was in hospital Jax and Tara had taken the kids and headed out of town for him to clear his head, when he came back two weeks later he demanded a change in leadership. He said that Clay had lied and manipulated one too many times and that the club needed new blood. The rest of the club agreed with him and to his surprise he was voted president, not Bobby.

Her father who was now sleeping on one of her mother's lounge chairs was still SAA to her surprise. Jax had told him that their shared love for her was enough for the two men to have each other's backs. There had been a great change in her father since Clay stepped down, the two had grown apart slowly, to the point that he and Clay hardly spoke at all. Kayla liked to think it had something to do with the mystery lady that her father was taking off to see from time to time. When she asked him about her, he would just smirk and shrug telling her that when the time was right she would meet her.

The biggest change was the one between her and Happy. After coming home from his 'meeting' with Skinny he became more attentive, he hardly ever left for more than three days at a time. When he was home he couldn't keep his hands off her, he said if he had to give up all the easy pussy then she needed to be ready at a moment's notice and honestly she wasn't complaining the sex was mind blowing. The kids were growing like weeds and her bad ass biker had done it all from the stomach flu, potty training, to Nora's first dance recital to Vic's first visit to the day care director's office.

Kayla herself was in a good place, she had her family, the man she loved, and a job she loved. After resigning from the school system she went to the Lodi Community Theatre and got a job as their creative director, she loved it and Happy didn't mind the nights she worked as long as her ass was his bed before midnight.

Kayla felt a hand on her back and turned to see her mother smiling at her, "Why do you look like the cat that ate the canary?"

Kayla just smiled, looking away sheepishly, "Just happy ma."

Gemma stared at her for a long minute but let it go heading back inside to get dessert ready. Since Clay had been replaced, her mother had been going out of her way to have these little club get togethers at least once a month. Gemma was hoping that it would be just what Clay needed to show him that his brothers still had his back. But unfortunately he just usually sat in a corner scowling at everyone that came near him.

But Clay wasn't Kayla's problem; she smiled as her hand went to her stomach. She had suspected that she was pregnant, but yesterday Tara had confirmed it. Happy had been out late with club stuff so Kayla hadn't had a moment's peace to tell him. She just hoped it was only one this time. As Kayla scanned the yard full of the guys and their kids she crossed her arms and shook her head. Tig and Juice had fallen asleep in the lounge chairs right after dinner; Kayla now stood watching her brother and Happy getting ready to write on both their foreheads with Sharpie.

Kayla cleared her throat loudly, "Happy Victor Lowman, don't even think about writing on my father!"

Happy jumped, his head snapping to look up at his wife, his eyes narrowing, "Fucking hell La." Before either of them could say anything else Tig jumped up from his chair and took Hap down. The two men rolling around like lunatics. Kayla laughed as Juice sat up looking confused, life really was good.

**-Hard to Love-**

That night Kayla had just put the kids the kids to bed; she made her way into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around her husband's waist. She felt Happy's chest rumble, "What're you doing La?"

Kayla kissed his bare back; he had already showered and was just wearing a pair of sweats, "Just glad you're home tonight."

Happy turned around and kissed her softly, "I'm home every night."

Kayla leaned against his chest staring up at him, "I know, but having you home is wonderful."

Happy laughed, "Even when you're pissed at me?"

Kayla stood on her tip toes and kissed his lips, "Even when I'm pissed, it makes it easier to make up if you're around."

Kayla grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down at the table watching Happy as he dished up a large bowl of chocolate chip ice cream. He sat down and started to eat, he could feel Kayla's eyes on him. He looked up at her, "What?"

Kayla smiled at him, her heart beat going through the roof, "I have something to tell you."

Happy threw the spoon into his bowl and sighed, "Fucking A, really, last time you said that you got a four hundred dollar speeding ticket."

Kayla laughed, remembering the look on David Hale's face when he caught her going 120 in a 45 zone, "No, it's not a speeding ticket."

Happy watched her smile get bigger, "Ok, are you going to tell me or should I just guess?"

Kayla closed her eyes for a brief minute trying to get a hold of her nerves, she knew Happy loved her, but they already had two kids that were barely potty trained, what would he think of another one.

Happy tapped her hand with his fingers, "Earth to Kayla? What the fuck is going on?"

Kayla smiled at him, "I'm pregnant."

Happy could kill a man with no problem; he had a stomach of steel. Hell he had taken a punch from the best of them, but he couldn't breathe for a minute. He just stared at her; he watched as her face changed, replacing the smile, he saw tears brimming in her eyes. He knelt down in front of her, his hand going to her stomach, he finally looked up at her, he loved this woman and he would love this baby, "A baby? Guess I have some Olympic style swimmers in there." Happy smiled smugly up at her, his hand tracing a soft pattern on her stomach.

Kayla slapped at his chest, tears rolling down her face, "Cocky bastard."

Happy pulled her onto the floor with him and kissed her hard, he guided her so that she was straddling him while he was lying on the floor. When she broke the kiss she stared down at him, "I hope you're not mad."

Happy grinned at her, "Baby I love you and I love those kids, what's one fucking more? And this time I get to be there for everything."

Kayla smirked at him, "Ever fucked a pregnant woman on her kitchen floor?"

Happy smiled smugly at her, his hands already going up under her shirt, "Nope, so shut your mouth and get busy, La."

**-Hard to Love-**

Ethan Zobelle sat at Johnny's Diner in Lodi staring into his coffee mug. When the door opened he sighed as Jacob Hale slid into the booth across from him. Jacob Hale scanned the diner, "What can I do for you Mr. Zobelle?"

Ethan Zobelle sighed, "Mr. Hale as I see it we have a common enemy."

Jacob Hale chuckled, "We do, but honestly you are washed up here. Your business has been closed for weeks, most of your guys are either gone or in the wind. I don't see how there is anything you can do about the SONS."

Ethan Zobelle smiled at Hale, "Oh there is a lot I can do. The only thing I need from you is money for me and my daughter to get out of the country once I've settled my debt with the SONS. I can make them go away forever, just say the word."

Jacob Hale leaned back in the booth looking at the man, "Alright, tell me what you need."

**-Hard to Love-**

Three days later Kayla was lying on the exam table waiting on the doctor. With her heart valve issues she was a high risk pregnancy so that morning she and Happy had already been to see the cardiologist and now they were waiting on Tara and Dr. Williams her OB/GYN. The three doctors planned on keeping a close eye on her. She sighed looking over at Happy who was staring at the newspaper. She wondered how he would do with this visit, he missed out on this visits with the twins. When they had came in the nurse had told her to get undress and handed her a gown, Happy had cocked his eyebrow at her but didn't say anything. Kayla was a little nervous about how he would take to the internal exam, she sighed again trying to get her nerves under control.

Happy looked over at her, "Stop freaking La."

Kayla nodded, "Just worried."

Happy stood up and walked over to her, leaning down one hand fisted next to her head, while his other hand caressed her cheek, "Ain't got shit to worry about, this kid is tough as fucking nails, have you seen his father?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her and leaned down softly kissing her. Kayla nodded to him and gave him a weak smile; he seemed to know just what to say to her. Before they could say anything else the door opened and Tara and Dr. Williams came walking in.

Happy stared at the young male doctor next to Tara; he had to be younger than Kayla, what the fuck? The man approached him with his hand out, "Mr. Lowman, Dr. Williams it's a pleasure."

Happy shook the man's hand but didn't say anything; he was too busy eyeing this stupid fucker.

Dr. Williams turned to Kayla smiling warmly, "Well Kayla, it looks like we get to do this again. How's the morning sickness?"

Kayla smiled, "Hardly any this time, really tired though, but I do have a job and a set of twins to take care of."

Dr. Williams laughed, "How are my favorite twins by the way?"

Kayla smiled looking at Happy for a quick second, "They are great, both are now potty trained. Nora is taking a beginner ballet class even had her first recital and Vic is just a little bad ass like his father can't keep him still."

Happy watched as the doctor put on a set of gloves and moved to his wife's knees. Now Happy was feeling pissed, what the fuck did he think he was doing? The kid wasn't coming out for months, so why did he think this fucker was going to…..WHAT THE FUCK?

Dr. Williams and Kayla continued to talk as Happy watched the man do the pelvic exam. Happy stood glaring at the man, "What the hell?"

Kayla held back a giggle as did Tara. Dr. Williams looked at Happy, "Oh sorry Mr. Lowman I forgot you were out of town on business last time. We have to an internal to check the cervix."

Happy just stared at him, his black eyes narrowing, "So is everything good? Cuz if it is get your hand out of my wife."

Dr. Williams blushed pulling his hand out of Kayla. Kayla touched Happy's arm, "He has to check to make sure everything is holding up for the baby. If my cervix is too open then the chance of me losing the baby is high. Relax big guy." Happy kept his eyes on the doctor as he leaned down and kissed her cheek; Kayla looked into his eyes and smiled. When she smiled some of the tension in him eased away.

Tara moved the ultrasound machine closer to her, "Happy we need to do the ultrasound, are you ready to see your baby?"

Happy nodded as Dr. Williams sat down next to Kayla. He turned on the machine and squeezed glop all over her stomach, after a few minutes of staring at the screen Dr. Williams turned to them and smiled. The doctor pointed to the small fetus, "There is your baby." He turned on the sound and the heartbeat flowed the room.

Happy had a hold of Kayla's hand, she smiled at him and he grinned like a fool, "So the kid's alright?"

Dr. Williams smiled at him, "Looks like you're about twelve weeks along, everything looks just fine." The doctor printed off a few pictures and wiped off Kayla's belly, "I want to see you in two weeks, just so we can keep an eye on your blood pressure. Keep the stress down Kayla remember last time."

Happy cocked an eyebrow at his wife but didn't say anything. After Tara had hugged her and they were alone Happy helped her get dressed. He was just handing her, her jacket, "What about last time?"

Kayla sighed, "It's no big deal. Last time with you away and working, trying to take those classes at the college, I was just under a lot of stress."

Happy folded his arms over his chest, glaring down at her, "This time you're gonna fucking take care of yourself right?"

Kayla nodded wrapping her arms around his waist, "I love you big guy. I promise no stress."

Happy sighed wrapping his arms around her pulling her into his chest; he kissed her hard, letting his hand drift up to her breast. She felt him smile against her lips, she pulled away and looked at him, "What?"

Happy just grinned shaking his head as they walked out of the exam room, "Nothing."

Kayla put her arm around his waist, her hand slipping into his pocket to squeeze his ass, "It's not nothing, what is it?"

Happy smirked just as they stepped onto the elevator, "Just thinking how big your tits are gonna get, I missed out on that last time."

Kayla slapped at his chest, he laughed pulling her into him. They were alone on the elevator, so he took the chance and leaned back against the wall, grinding his hard on into her, "Fucking love, like worship your fucking tits." He kissed her hard, his hand going back to her breast.

When the door opened they pulled away, Happy's hand on her lower back. He stared at Kayla who was smirking. Kayla looked at him almost blushing, "I was really horny last time too."

Happy smirked putting on his sunglasses, "Glad I'm here to help with that." Kayla laughed as they got into her car and headed home.

**-Hard to Love-**

The next day Kayla and Lynn laughed as they made their way into Gemma and Clay's house. The two girls had planned on a day of shopping and her mother had jumped at the chance to keep Nora, Vic, and Juan Carlos Jr., so the girls were giddy as they made their way into the kitchen.

Lynn sighed, "God you have no idea how happy I am for a day of just us."

Kayla laughed as Vic and Nora made their way over to the fridge, "I hear you, after the new baby comes I'm sure it will take forever for me to get out of the house. Hey you two no snacks! Where is your grandmother? Lynn will you take them into the living room, I bet mom over slept."

Lynn laughed as she moved all three kids into the living room, she called over her shoulder, "Hurry up, I want to spend some money!"

Kayla laughed as she made her way into her mother's bedroom. She knocked softly on the door and opened the door slowly, "Mom?" When she came into the room she gasped, lying on the bed on her stomach was her mother. Kayla could see a red pool of blood on the sheets. She rushed to her mother, "NO, NO, NO!"

When Kayla rolled her mother over she let out a sob, she cradled her mother's lifeless body. Kissing her forehead, tears hitting her mother's face, "I love you mommy. Please don't leave me, mommy."

Lynn had heard her scream. Leaving the kids in the living room she grabbed her gun from her purse and made her way down the hall. What she saw broke her heart; Kayla was kneeling on the bed cradling the bloody body of Gemma Teller-Morrow. Lynn's hand went to her mouth, "Jesus Christ. Kayla? Kayla we need to call for help."

But Kayla couldn't hear her, she was in shock. She just held her mother and sobbed. Lynn came around to the side of the bed; she could see the exit wound from the gun shot that had taken the SAMCRO Queen's life. Lynn reached out and took Gemma's hand checking for a pulse. Kayla looked up to her hopefully, hoping against fate that her mother was still alive. Lynn had tears in her eyes as she shook her head telling her friend that her mother was dead.

Kayla let out an animalistic scream as she gathered her mother more into her arms and rocked them back and forth. Lynn tried for several minutes to get Kayla to leave Gemma, but she won't let go of her mother.

Lynn stepped into the kitchen; she checked on the kids and then got her phone. She knew that Juice, Happy, and Jax were in Oakland, so she called her father.

Chibs was standing watching Tig harass Rat when his phone rang. He smiled when he saw Lynn's name, "Hey darlin'."

Lynn took a deep breath, "Da, something happened at Gemma's. When we got here Kayla found her, she's been shot, da she's dead. I need you. I don't know if I should call the police and Kayla is in shock, I can't get her to leave Gemma. And I have all three kids."

Chibs felt his stomach fall, "Jesus Christ. Alright sweetheart, ya listen to your da. Call your mother tell her to come get the kids and bring them back to the clubhouse. Tig and I will be right there. Now darling are you sure there's no one there?"

Lynn wiped at the tears falling down her face, "Yeah da, there's no one here. I know Half Sack's bike was out front but I don't see him anywhere."

Chibs had already motioned to Tig who was now listening to the conversation, "We're coming right now darlin'." Chibs snapped his phone shut, he yelled to Rat, "CALL THE OTHERS, TELL THEM TO MEET US AT GEMMA'S NOW!" Chibs turned to Tig, "Gemma's dead, Kayla found her, we have to move brother."

Chibs loaded a stunned Tig into the van and they raced through the streets of Charming. When they pulled up both men drew their guns and made their way into the house. Lynn was standing in the doorway where she could see down the hallway to Kayla, but yet keep an eye on the kids. Lynn sobbed as her father came to her pulling her into his chest, Chibs kissed her head, "It's alright lass, you did right. Now go into the living room with the kids and don't move till Tiggie or I come get you."

Tig had already moved down the hallway. He walked slowly toward the bed where Kayla was crying silently, her hand tracing a pattern on her mother's face. Tig felt tears burning in his eyes as he took in the scene, he reached out slowly for Kayla, "Kayla baby, she's gone sweetheart. You need to come out into the dining room with me."

Kayla just shook her head, not looking at her father. Tig knelt down next her, his hand going to his daughter's back, "Baby girl, your mother won't want you to see her like this. Now I need to call the police, so you're going to have to come with me, just to the dining room baby."

Kayla looked down at her mother's face; she slowly leaned over and kissed her mother's cheek. She pulled away from her mother and went to her father letting him pick her up and carry her into the dining room. Kayla didn't say anything she just clung to him.

When Tig got Kayla to the dining room, Chibs came in from the backyard, his face was pale and his eyes full of tears, "Brother, they got Half Sack too. Looks like he was smoking a cigarette, gunshot to the head, he never fucking saw it coming."

Tig nodded sitting Kayla down a chair, "Clay?"

Chibs shook his head, "He's not here brother. We need to call the cops."

Tig nodded, running his hand down his daughter's cheek, "Yeah, we do. Make the call."

**-Hard to Love-**

When Rat had called them and said they were needed at Gemma's house they were half way to Oakland. Jax had turned them all around and they had done eighty all the way to Charming. Happy felt himself die a little more with each passing mile, Rat hadn't said what was going on so his first fear was she had lost the baby.

When they pulled up and saw the corner and the police cars he was ready to go crazy. After some fast talking with Hale, he finally let them into the house. The first thing he saw was Tig, his father-in-law looked horrible, there was blood down the front of his little blue button down and some on his neck.

Jax stepped toward Tig, "What the hell happened?"

Chibs stepped up and put a hand on Jax's chest, "It's your mom brother, Kayla found her dead."

Jax's eyes went wild, "No, no, not ma." The man started to push and shove his brothers as they tried to control him. Jax was screaming as they took them down to the ground. Once Jax had pulled himself somewhat together, they all went outside.

Happy walked toward Tig, "Where's Kayla and my kids?"

Tig sighed taking a long drag off his smoke, "Hale's talking to her, Kat came and picked the kids up."

Happy balled up his fist, "You let her talk to Hale alone?"

Tig shook his head, "No, Lynn's in there with her, she's bad off brother. She hasn't said a word since I got here. Found her holding Gemma's body…." Tig choked up, he couldn't get the image out of his head. Happy didn't say anything he just pulled his father-in-law into a hug.

Happy walked into the living room and his heart fell. Hale stood and nodded to him, Hale looked back at Lynn, "If you think of anything else please call me."

Lynn nodded her arm around Kayla, "Thank you Officer Hale."

Hale stopped close to Happy, he whispered, "You should have Tara look at her, she's in shock."

Happy nodded walking over to the couch and kneeling down in front of his wife, her face was pale. Her clothes were covered in blood and he could see her shake a little, he took both of his hands and cupped her face, his voice cracking, "La? La baby I need you to look at me." He kept staring into her eyes, but she didn't move, she was staring off into the distance almost through him. Happy sighed moving closer to her so that their noses were almost touching, "La, I need you to come back to me baby girl. The club needs you with her gone. La?"

Kayla finally looked at him, her face scrunching up as she started to cry, her voice was a whisper, "My mom's dead."

Happy wiped at her tears as he pulled the two of them to the floor, "I know baby, I know. I got ya, La…I got ya."

Happy rocked her back and forth wishes there was something he could do. Things were totally fucked, Gemma and Half-Sack had been killed, Jax and Kayla were a mess as well as the rest of them. Not to mention the fact that they still had to tell Clay that his wife was dead, Phil and Clay had gone out to pick up some parts in Stockdon. Chibs had gotten a hold of the Phil and told him not to say anything just get Clay back as soon as he could. Things were fucked, he just hoped he could hold together the most important thing in his life, but at the moment he could feel her falling further apart in his arms. He stroked her hair as she sobbed, "I'm not going anywhere La, I'm here baby."

**So should I be under a rock? I cried my eyes out while I wrote this if it helps, I know I killed Gemma and Kip. Well do your thing, at least the first half was sweet right? Thanks for reading and all the support! You guys make my life a better place**** Hugs, Kaye**


	25. The Son Will Rise

Chapter 25….The Son Will Rise

**Thank you all so much for the response for the last chapter. I was pretty nervous about killing off Gemma, but you all seemed either touched by it or happy. I have to tell you that I totally agree, on the show that bitch needs to DIE! I use to adore Gemma, sure she was rude, blunt, and manipulative, but she did what she did for her family. The Gemma we have now, well she's just downright wrong! Ok, enough of my rant. This one will be touching again, after this chapter we will move into the heavy action of them finally chasing down Zobelle! I hope I do this justice, remember Gemma was still Kayla's mother, no matter what, so losing her is heartbreaking. The song that Kayla sings is "The Sun Will Rise" by Kelly Clarkson, it just seems like the words fit. Ok, here we go! Hugs, Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

A sea of leather and black, that's what Kayla could see from her seat at the funeral home. Members from as far as Ireland had come to pay their respects to the Queen of SAMCRO. Not to mention all the people in the community from all of Gemma's fundraising activates. Kayla had been hugged to many times to count and she was ready to kill the next person that told her how sorry they were. Happy had been wonderful staying by her side the whole night, but she had waved him off to go grab a cigarette outside with the rest of the guys.

Now she sat staring at the small gold cross that use to be her mother's. She twisted around her hand gently; she didn't see Clay until he sat down right next to her, his hand going on her knee, "You doing alright?"

Kayla gave him a weak nod, "Just can't believe she's gone."

Clay nodded his head, "Me either kid, me either. Don't you worry we will get the monster that did this."

Kayla nodded, her voice was low, "I know. How are you doing Clay?"

Clay sighed, a tear slowly rolling down his cheek, his voice cracking when he spoke, "I was thinking last night about when you were little, before everything went to shit, I use to love coming home and hearing you and your mom singing while she played the piano."

Kayla smiled sadly, "Mom always had the best voice, I wanted to be just like her when I grew up."

Clay patted her knee, "You sell yourself short kid, you have a great voice too. You know what your mother use to say to me, she said someday Clay my baby girl is gonna have her name up in lights. It broke her heart when you stopped singing. That was my fault too. I never meant for you to get the short end of the stick. I was just looking out for the club, I'm sorry kid." He looked at her and she just nodded, she could never forgive Clay for all the shit he put her through. But she did feel bad for him, if she ever lost Happy she didn't know what she would do. She watched as Clay stood up and made his way across the funeral home.

She got up and walked over to the room that held her mother's casket. She stood in the doorway watching people pay their respects. She felt someone wrap their arms around her waist and turned to see her husband smirking at her, "How you doing La?"

Kayla sighed, looking back toward the casket, "I'm ok. Just gonna miss her."

Happy kissed her neck, "I know baby. Why don't we head back to the clubhouse, we can put the kids to bed and crawl into bed."

Kayla turned around and kissed her husband, she rested her head on his chest, "No, I want to stay till everybody is gone. I want to tell her goodnight."

Happy just nodded running his hands up and down his wife's back. He kissed the top of her head, burying his nose, just taking in her scent. She had been so strong through everything, but he was really worried about her and the baby, the stress. He wished he could kiss her and hold her and make all the bad go away. He looked up and saw Tig eyeing them and he nodded. The two of them had made sure Kayla hadn't been alone over the last few days. If one of them had to leave the other one was there, they weren't going to let her float off and do something stupid.

Skeeter was slowly clearing everyone out from the funeral home. Kayla put her hand on her brother's back, "Why don't you go in first, I'll wait."

Jax gave her a hard hug, "You sure?"

Kayla nodded, "Yeah, I'm sure."

While she was waiting, Happy and Tig came over to stand with her, Happy ran a hand down her cheek, "Want me to come with you baby?"

Kayla smiled, "No, I just want to say good night alone."

Tig put his hand on his daughter's back, "You sure peanut?"

Kayla nodded, "Yeah, you guys can wait outside. I promise I'll be fine."

Reluctantly the two of them went outside to wait for her. When Jax came out with Tara, Kayla pulled him to her letting her brother sob against her. She stroked his hair, "She loved you so much Jackson. She was so proud of the man that you've become." Jax nodded wiping at his eyes.

Jax scanned the room, "You want me to go in with you?"

Kayla gave him a weak smile, "No, I wanted to go alone."

Kayla waited till Jax and Tara had walked outside and she headed into the small room that held her mother's casket. She closed the doors and walked slowly toward her mother, wiping at a stray tear. "Hey ma, you wouldn't believe the people that were here tonight. I think you had more people here tonight than most charter presidents." Kayla paused and stroked her mother's hair, "I talked to Clay earlier, he's really messed up ma, but I'll look out for him. We were talking about when we use to sing, remember that? After what happened I stopped singing, I was afraid to sing in front of anyone, behind the scenes was safer. I'm gonna teach the kids all the songs you use to sing with me, I promise."

Kayla softly stroked her mother's cheek, tears gently rolling down her cheeks, she started singing softly a song her and her mom use to sing together, "_**I can see the weight there in your eyes, I can feel the thorn in your side, your knuckles are bruised from a losing fight, one way down dead end street, broken glass underneath your feet, you think the day won't break the sunless night, The sun will raise, the sun will raise, when you've lost your light, the sun will raise and it'll be alright. It will be alright." **_

Jax had been worried about his sister, so he grabbed Happy and the two of them went back inside. When they saw the doors to the small room holding the casket were empty both of them felt panicked, but as they got closer they could hear her singing.

Kayla smiled through her tears as she continued, thinking of all the hours she and her mother use to spend singing after school, "_**I've stuck in the storm before, Felt the winds raging at my door, couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't find a way out, somehow the clouds disappeared, somehow I made it here, maybe just so you could hear me say, the sun will raise, the sun will raise, when you've lost your light, the sun will raise, It'll be alright."**_

Happy tilted his head and looked at Jax, his voice nothing more than a whisper, "What is she doing?"

Jax looked at him, a tear running down his cheek, "Her and mom use to sing all the time. Kayla was really good; Mom use to think Kayla would end up singing for a living. But after that summer with the Mayans she stopped, I don't think I've heard her sing since she was fourteen. That song was one her and ma use to sing a lot."

Happy leaned closer to the door just listening to his wife's sweet voice, wondering if he would ever really know everything there was to know about her.

Kayla had sunk onto her knees in front of the casket, her sobs getting the better of her. She hugged herself telling herself that her mother would want her to be strong, for her family and for the club. She stood up and leaned over kissing her mother's cold cheek, "Good night mom."

When she opened the door Happy stood there, his eyes shiny, he pulled her to him and kissed her head, "Let's go home La."

**-Hard to Love-**

Once Happy had gotten her into bed, he made sure the kids were still asleep, Simone had stayed with them while they were at the funeral home and made sure they got to bed on time, he headed to church. Once the doors were closed Jax took a deep breath, "Lorca and Koz found a few witnesses that saw Ethan Zobelle coming out of ma's house that morning."

Tig slammed his fist against the table, "Then why are we sitting here? Let's go get this fucker!"

Chibs pounded the table too, "Aye, brother let's get bloody!"

The room was erupting in agreement, but Jax held up his hand, "We need to do this smart. Remember last fucking time we went off half cocked that son of a bitch got us all fourteen months inside. We can't do that again, not with our families unprotected. Now everybody settle the fuck down. What we need to know is whose helping this fucker and where is he?"

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla knew they were going to discuss retaliation, she also knew they would probably know who did this to her family. So after making sure the kids were sleeping she crept into the common room and stood outside the church doors listening. She heard Jax say they needed to know who had helped Zobelle and where he was. Those were answers that Kayla could get quicker than even Juice and his computer.

She walked outside letting the night air hit her and sat down on the picnic table pulling out her phone. She was relieved when he answered, "Empire Ink."

Kayla swallowed hard, "Skinny, it's me, I'm in trouble."

"Kayla, what the fuck is wrong sugar?"

Kayla took a deep breath, "Skinny someone killed my mom and I need you to call your friends and see if you can help us find the guy."

"You planning on taking care of this yourself?"

Kayla shook her head, "No, I can't its not my place, but I can help. This will be on the boys to take care of. Do you think you can get me the information?"

"Yeah, girl what's the name?"

Kayla smirked, "Ethan. Ethan Zobelle. How long?"

"Two days tops, you want me to call you with it?"

Kayla shook her head, "No, can you bring it to me and give it to Happy?"

"Yeah girl I can do that. Sorry about your mom, I know how much you loved her."

Kayla hugged herself, "Yeah I did. Thanks Skinny, sorry to drag you into my shit again. Just let me know how much I owe you for this shit."

Skinny laughed, "Ain't taking your money sugar, just name one of your kids after me."

Kayla laughed, "How the fuck am I gonna get that passed Happy?"

Skinny chuckled, "Well that's what makes it fun! Now get to sleep I have work to do."

Once Kayla closed the phone she went back inside, as she was walking by the bar the pull of the bottles filled with ember liquid called to her. She sat down on the bar stool, her hand going to her stomach gently rubbing circles. Times like this, when she was passed her limit on what she could take, she always leaned on a bottle or a pill. She felt tears welling up in her eyes at how weak she was being. She could always go get Koz out of church he would take her to a meeting.

She heard the door open behind her and she turned to see Clay. Clay looked at her and sighed, "You alright?"

Kayla nodded her head turning back to the bar, "Hard night tonight."

Clay nodded walking up behind her, his hand going to her back, "Why don't you go to bed, tomorrow is going to be really hard."

Kayla nodded when she slipped off the bar stool, Clay grabbed her for a hug. Kayla was stunned; in all the years she had known Clay Morrow he had never given her a hug unless he wanted something. Clay pulled away, "Get some sleep." Kayla nodded and retreated back to her room.

Clay watched her go and he went back into church. When he did all talking stopped, he looked over at Koz, "I think our girl is having a bad night." Clay looked at Jax, "I know you are in the middle of it Prez, but I think your sister might need support tonight." With that Clay Morrow left the room, grabbed a bottle of Jack and headed to his dorm room so he could cry himself to sleep in private.

Happy stood up and looked at Jax, "We know who we're looking for, why don't we table this till we have more intel, I need to get back."

Jax ran a hand over his face, "Yeah, let's put out feelers and talk more tomorrow after the funeral."

Happy bee lined it to his dorm, Koz and Tig hot on his heels. When he opened the door they found Kayla sitting on the bed with her head buried in her pillow trying to block out the sounds of her sobs, she didn't want to wake the kids. Happy sat down next to her and pulled her into his chest, "Oh, La, why didn't you come get me girl?"

Kayla looked up at him, her eyes were red and her face was a mess, "You were busy. I have to learn how to deal."

Koz stepped closer, "Why don't we hit the late meeting at St. Nicholas?"

Kayla shook her head, "I can't do that to you or Simone. She's been with the kids all day and I know you haven't see the baby hardly at all today."

Tig sighed, "Well why don't you have Hap take you and I'll crash here with the kids till you get back."

Kayla shook her head, "No, we all need sleep; it's not fair that you three have to stop to baby me, I'll be fine."

Happy stood up and gave her a hard stare, "We're going La, get your ass dressed."

Kayla wanted to protest, but she knew by the look in her husband's eyes there was no way she would win. She sighed going into the bathroom to get changed.

**-Hard to Love-**

The meeting was like the numerous ones she had been to, the room was filled with smoke. She listened as person after person got up and shared. There was something about a room full of strangers that knew how it felt to be so miserable and out of control. She took a deep breath and she stood up, she needed to share tonight, she knew it would help.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy had waited outside for thirty minutes, smoking and staring at the people passing. He knew this was her thing, it was private, the things she had going on inside her head she had only ever shared with Koz. Koz had warned him a number of times that it was shit that would just piss him off, so it was better if he didn't know how she felt when it came to this part of her, the addict part. But Happy was just worried, losing Gemma, finding Gemma like that had broken her, he could see it in her eyes. So he had slowly made his way into the meeting room. To his surprise it was fucking packed, he found a seat by the door, just so he could keep an eye on her. But when she stood he felt his heart beat increase, he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what she was going to say.

**-Hard to Love-**

"Hi I'm Kayla and I'm an addict."

"Hi Kayla", the crowd's attention now turned to her and Kayla felt herself sick, she knew she needed to share, it would help break her down, make her declare to the world her problems, but at the same time it scared her every time she did it.

"I've been sober now for three years. Before that I was sober for six, but I was weak and slipped. I was ganged raped when I was sixteen and to help the pain I turned to Oxy and Jack Daniels to help keep the pain at bay. I felt like it would just be better if the world didn't have me in it. I felt like I was nothing, a loser, but now I have things in my life that make me feel different. I have two wonderful children and one on the way. I have a large family that keeps me in check and a husband that I know I don't deserve. I'm here tonight because I just lost my mother and I thought about using. I wanted something to dull the pain, make me forget the hurt that I felt in my heart. But I know I can't do that, I'm stronger than that, people count on me."

The man leading the meeting nodded his head, "How do you feel now?"

Kayla swallowed hard, "Empty. But strong, I know I don't think much of myself, but I know I'm loved and those people must see something in me that I don't, to love me like they do. I can make it through this; I just need to remember my steps."

When Kayla sat down everyone applauded her, Hap watched as a woman sitting next to her hugged her. He slipped out the door trying to wrap his head around what she said, why didn't she fucking think she deserved him? He was the one who didn't deserve her! Koz was right the self-hating shit pissed him the fuck off; he lit a smoke and tried to relax. The next few days were going to be hell, but he would get her through them.

**-Hard to Love-**

The funeral had been lovely, with masses of people. Kayla stood next to Happy, he held Nora, while she held Vic's hand. She smiled as she looked around her, her father stood halfway behind her, his hand on her back. Koz and Simone and the baby just behind him. She was surrounded, surrounded by her family, something her mother had always held dear and wanted for Kayla and now she had it.

They were back at the clubhouse for a little under an hour. People were everywhere eating, drinking, and toasting her mother. Kayla sat in the playground watching as Nora and Vic ran around playing with the other kids, she smiled loving her children even more for the happiness they made her feel, even on one of the worse days of her life. She turned her head just in time to see Skinny walking toward Happy who was standing outside with his brothers. Kayla took a deep breath hoping this didn't come back to bite her in the ass.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy couldn't believe his fucking eyes when that dark skinned brick wall of a bastard came walking up to him. Happy felt his body go stiff, every muscle on attention, "What the fuck are you doing here?" Happy could feel his brothers moving up behind him.

Skinny just chuckled, "Can I have a word in private?" Happy gave a curt nod and the two men moved closer to the garage.

Happy flicked his smoke to the pavement, "So fucking talk."

Skinny pulled a file from his jacket, "Kayla called, said you were looking for this asshole. I think if you hand that over to your intelligence officer you'll be able to find him."

Happy stared at the folder then over to the playground where Kayla was watching them. Their eyes locked and Happy could tell she was silently begging him not to be pissed, but it was too late he was. Happy looked at Skinny, "Why the fuck did she call you?"

Skinny shifted nervously, "I have connections, connections that Kayla knows about. It only took them a day to find the information in this file. This had nothing to do with me and Kayla or you and everything to do with helping you guys find the asshole that took her mother. Now how you going to play this? Gonna get pissed or take my help?"

Happy sighed looking through the file in his hands; he stopped on a grainy photo of Ethan Zobelle and Jacob Hale. His blood boiled, "Son of a bitch."

Skinny nodded, "I knew you would want this shit. Especially when I saw that the person that helped him was your mayor. I expect you to keep her and those kids safe, guard them with your life."

Happy glared at him, his eyes narrowing, he took a step closer to him, "I LIVE, I DIE, I KILL for my family. Don't fucking EVER question my level of loyalty to that woman."

Skinny just smirked, "Oh I know, I've been keeping tabs on you and several croweaters have sobbed alone in their pillows at night since you've been keeping your dick in check. Tell her I'm sorry about her mom."

Happy watched as Skinny walked back out of the lot and disappeared. Once he was gone, he walked over and handed the file to Juice. The younger man looking through the file with a look of awe, "Where the fuck did you get this Hap?"

Happy just shook his head, "Kayla called in a favor to an old friend, just get that shit looked at and have Jax gather everyone for church." Juice nodded and headed toward the clubhouse.

Happy was already half way to the playground when Kayla met him, "How much trouble am I in?"

Happy grabbed her arms, "Who does he know? Why could he get this information so fast?"

Kayla took a deep breath, "He's ex CIA, he has lots of friends. The only reason I called him was so I could help, do something to help you guys catch him before Zobelle made it out of the country."

Happy stared at her, his thumbs rubbing a pattern on her arms, "You heard us in church."

Kayla nodded her head, "I just wanted to know. I found her; do you have any idea how bad that hurts? I had to do something; I knew you guys weren't going to let me go with you." Happy started to say something, but she cut him off, "I get it, no going off all crazy. But I had to help! My mom would've done the same fucking thing. So if you're going to be pissed then just be fucking pissed."

Kayla started to storm away when Happy grabbed her waist pulling her back flush against his chest, his voice in her ear, "I ain't pissed, I don't like it, but I get it. I just wish you didn't call that fuck for help, but I get it. You deserve a good life La, you deserve good things. I might be a selfish prick, but I'm so fucking glad I'm the one that gets to try and give that good life to you. Now settle the fuck down. That kid doesn't need you getting all upset, been enough of that as it is." He gently kissed her neck, letting his lips linger. He felt her lean back into him, a soft groan escaping her lips. Happy smirked, his hand moving down and squeezing her ass, he growled in her ear, "After church, get the kids to bed, you're gonna have to keep your fucking mouth shut but I'll take care of my baby." He bite her neck playfully and pulled away heading back toward the clubhouse.

Kayla stood there watching her husband as he retreated, even in the darkest hours of her life, he was her light, her SON that would always make sure she rose out of the darkness.

**Ok, that was it, Gemma is buried, now the guys have to move on to stomping out Zobelle. But don't worry; I have a few light hearted things planned in the next chapter. But it will be all about some ass kicking! Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews! Hugs Kaye**


	26. trailer

Author's Note!

Howdy everyone, I usually don't do this but I just wanted to put it out there if you want to watch my inspiration for the story you can go to the link below. I put in spaces where there isn't any so you have to put it all together.

youtu .be/ sAa Sg 3-8 u Yg

If you put it all together you will find my little amateur video trailer for the story! I have pics of Kayla (my muse is Kat Dennings) and the twins! If the link doesn't work then you just need to search for Hard to Love: Happy and Kayla. I hope it works! Enjoy I put a shout out at the end for all of you who support the living hell out of this story! Thank you! Kaye


	27. Know My Place

Chapter 27…Knowing My Place

**Thank you so much for all the love of this story! I'm also touched by the support you all gave the little video I put up. So here is the next installment, I hope you enjoy! The drama, drama, drama. Ok, enjoy the ride**** Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

Half-Sack's funeral was the day after Gemma's, the clubhouse was still packed with SONS from all over and Kayla was beginning to wonder if they were all sticking around to see what SAMCRO had planned for the bastard that had killed one of their brothers and the Queen. Kayla sighed as she made her way across the bar picking up trash as she went. Most of the guys were outside watching her father and Kozic go toe to toe in the ring. She was seriously thinking about going to bed when Clay caught her eye. He motioned to her to follow him outside, that was weird, Clay never wanted to talk to her alone. She handed off her trash bag to Lynn and went outside.

She scanned the crowd and noticed the glow of Clay cigar over by the garage office. She picked up her pace heading toward the office. When she walked in the door Clay was sitting at her mother's desk, his hand ghosting loving over her mother's things, "I don't know how to stop missing her. Do you think she knew just how much I loved her?"

Kayla leaned against the door jamb, "Clay she knew, you know how much she loved you. She would've moved heaven and hell for you."

Clay nodded taking a drag off his cigar, "The boys are dragging their feet, I want to move on Hale but they think they should wait." Clay stood up and looked her in the eyes, "The way I see it you and me might be her only chance at making this shit right."

Kayla cocked her head, "What do you want me to do? I can talk to Hap and Jax….."

Clay huffed in irritation, "No, they won't listen to reason. I won't come to you, you're a woman and I hate putting you in the line of fire, but I need your help."

Kayla sighed, "What do you have in mind?"

Clay smiled at her, "Come take a ride with me and we'll talk about it on the way. I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

Kayla nodded, "Ok, well that has to include saving me from my husband. But if you think this will help, I'll do it."

**-Hard to Love-**

A half an hour later she was standing at Jacob Hale's door, she knocked softly gripping the bottle of bourbon in her hand, she hoped for the sake of her unborn baby and her own life, Clay was doing what he promised. She normally won't follow Clay into something this stupid, but the man was right, the boys were dragging their feet. She had gotten them the information they needed and now knowing what that information said had her body coursing with anger. She smiled as Jacob Hale opened the door, the man gave her a sad smile, "Kayla, what can I do for you?"

Kayla smiled, holding the bottle of bourbon up, "I wanted to stop by and personally thank you for every you did with mom's funeral. I know you don't like the SONS but flying the flags at half staff and closing down the streets for the funeral processional, it was wonderful of you."

Jacob moved out of the way gesturing for her to come in. Kayla walked into his house and kept herself in check when the door shut behind her. Once they were in the living room she handed Jacob the bottle of bourbon, Hale smiled, "No matter what I think about your family and their club, your mother meant a lot to this community and she deserved the respect. Care to join me?" He asked as he walked over to his small bar and opened the bottle.

Kayla sat down and shook her head, her hand going to her stomach, "No thank you, Hap and I are expecting again."

Jacob smiled at her as he poured a glass of the bourbon she brought, "Congratulations, hoping for twins again?"

Kayla laughed, "No, once was good enough for the two of us. But we are very happy, any child is a blessing."

Hale sat down across from her, "Yeah children are a blessing. So you didn't come here just to thank me, is there anything I can do for you?"

Kayla watched as he sipped from the glass, "Really I just wanted to thank you. I knew the boys won't, so I wanted to personally make sure you got what you deserved."

See saw a moment of panic in Hale's eyes, he swallowed down the bourbon fast and got up to refill his glass, Kayla smirked standing up, "I hope the bourbon was alright. I wasn't sure what your favorite kind was, I wanted to make sure your last drink was at least what you wanted."

Hale turned around and blinked fast, he looked at the glass, "What did you do?"

Kayla walked to the front door and opened it for Clay. Hale was already stumbling around the living room, he fell to the floor the effects of the sedative already working on him. Clay smirked at him kneeling down in front of him, "You think you could kill MY wife in MY town and we'd just let that slide? Tsk Tsk Jacob, now it's time for a little nap and then we'll talk all of us together."

When Jacob Hale woke up he was tied to a chair, Clay sat across from him, while Kayla stood in the background glaring at him. He struggled against the ropes as Clay chuckled, "You aren't going anywhere Mayor. Now tell me why you helped Ethan Zobelle."

Jacob hung his head, "I didn't know he was going to do what he did. He was supposed to kill you, not Gemma. You have to believe me Kayla, it was suppose to be Clay."

Clay stood up and slapped him hard against the face, he leaned down getting into his face, "You don't get to talk to her, you've taken her mother away. I told her she should leave after she drugged you, but you see she wants to see this, she wants to see you die."

Jacob shook his head, "He told me he was going to chase the SONS out of Charming. He said if he killed you and Piney Winston the last of the first nine would be dead and the SONS would crumble."

Clay grabbed his hair pulling his head back, "So I was suppose to die not Gemma. Well he fucked up, now tell us where he went and I might let you live."

Jacob took several deep breaths, "I gave him ten grand, last I knew he was headed for Mexico. I swear that's all I know."

Kayla stepped forward, her arms crossed, "Why? Why have you hated us? We have done nothing but keep Charming safe; we never gave your family any trouble, why?"

Hale glared at her, "Your family took my family's power away. Once the cancer that is SAMCRO infected this town, no one looked at my family for shit. They went to you people, you criminals, someone had to stop you!"

Kayla stepped closer to him, her eyes narrowing at him; Clay thought she looked like a good mix of her father and her old man. Kayla gently slapped Hale's face, "You know the funny thing Hale, you think Clay is the one you need to be afraid of, but the truth is, I'm the one you should be afraid of. I've killed and I enjoy it, how do you want to die? Fast or slow? It's more of a choice than what my mother got."

Hale's face paled, he looked from Kayla to Clay shaking his head, "If you let me go I'll help you. I'll help SAMCRO, I have money I'm sure we can work something out. That land you want on RT 45 I could make that happen."

Clay smirked, "What do you think sweetie? Should we let him live?"

Kayla's face turned up into a huge scary smile, "He should meet Mr. Mayhem."

Clay nodded, he picked up one of the 'man of the year' trophies that was sitting on the fireplace mantle and slammed it into Hale's skull. He looked at Kayla, "You know what to do?"

Kayla nodded, "I'm on it. Just make sure you make it look good in here."

Clay smiled at his step-daughter finding it funny that they were finally bounding over something like murder. "I will."

Kayla went into the kitchen slipping onto the floor she pulled off the front of the gas stove and set to work undoing the gas line, once she was done she set to lighting a few candles that Hale had in the dining room. By the time she made it into the living room, Clay had put Hale on the couch a lit cigar in the knocked out man's hand.

Clay smirked at Kayla, throwing an arm over her shoulder, "Let's go little girl."

Kayla took one last look at Hale and nodded. Once they down the street in the club van they waited, neither one of them saying anything. When they finally saw the fire ball in the sky, Clay reached over and squeezed her hand, "You did real good little girl, your mother would've been proud of you."

Kayla nodded her head as Clay steered the van back toward Teller-Morrow. She just hoped that her old man felt the same way.

**-Hard to Love-**

An hour later Kayla was sitting on one of the couches drinking a bottle of water, when Unser came walking in. Kayla looked at Clay then let her eyes go to the bottle in her hand.

Jax crossed the room, "Chief what's going on?"

Unser sighed, "Well Jackson, I hate to bother you all during the kid's wake, but I thought you should know that Jacob Hale's house blew up tonight. We found his body in the living room; it looks like it was a faulty gas line. I know he had information on your mother, so I wanted you to hear it from me."

Jax looked around the room, "Shit, alright. Thanks for the heads up Chief."

Unser nodded and headed back outside. Jax scanned the room, "CHURCH, NOW!"

Kayla sat still, listening to the raised voices behind the large doors. She knew that Clay had told them what they had done. Not too long after the yelling started the doors burst open Jax leading the pack towards her. Her brother stopped in front of her, his chest raising and falling hard, "YOU had no right getting involved in this!"

Kayla stood up and glared at him, "I had every fucking right, she was my mother and you were pussy footing around! This wait and see bullshit is for the fucking birds and you damn well know it!"

Kayla didn't see his hand as it snapped up and slapped her across the face; there was so much force she was spun around, her body falling against the small oak coffee table. She slowly pushed herself up the room was silent, she won't cry, not here. She squared her shoulder and glared at her brother, stepping forward she looked into his eye, "The only reason I'm not president of this club is because I'm a woman. You don't deserve to even call yourself her son!"

Happy stepped in-between them, his eyes narrowing at Kayla, "Enough! Go to the fucking dorm Kayla."

Kayla shook her head, a half smirk playing at her lips, "You too, yeah you're a good little soldier, doing what everyone tells you too. Be nice to see one of you think for yourself instead of following some asshole blindly."

Happy's jaw clenched, "You need to go back to the fucking room; you're an old lady you need to know your place. Now shut your fucking mouth and go take care of our kids."

Kayla stepped around them and headed through the clubhouse, when she slammed the door of their dorm she locked the door, putting a chair under the door knob, she had all she was going to take of these assholes for one night.

Clay glared at Jax, "Your sister is right, she has more balls then any of you. You didn't think she would just let this slide did you? You really are an idiot." Clay started toward the bar to get a bottle of Jack, but was cut off by a right hook from Tig.

When the ex-president hit the ground he looked up to see Tig towering over him, "You played her just like you always do! You played on her grief and got her to help you. I should put a fucking bullet in your head." Tig pulled his gun his hand shaking as he aimed for Clay's head.

Happy and Koz were at his side, Happy put his hand on Tig's, "Not like this brother. Just put the gun away."

Tig glared down at Clay, "Someday they won't be here to save your sorry ass." He kicked Clay in the ribs and moved away from him.

Jax looked at Happy, "I didn't mean to hit her."

Happy nodded his head, then he surprised Jax with a fist to the jaw. As Jax stood there rubbing his jaw Happy leaned in so he was almost directly in his face, "DON'T EVER, put your hands on my old lady again. If something happens to that baby you and me are gonna have problems."

Jax nodded as Happy stalked down the hallway to his dorm. Once Happy got to his door he found it locked, he sighed pulling out his key. Once he unlocked the door he felt resistance, he sighed, "Damn it La, open the fucking door."

He heard movement, and then the door opened; he could already see a bruise forming on her cheek. She glared at him, "What?"

Happy sighed, "Let me in."

Kayla walked away and headed toward the bed. She flopped down, her back facing away from him. Happy took off his rings and knife setting them on the dresser. He walked over to the playpen in the corner of the room and checked on his sleeping children. He climbed into the bed behind Kayla and pulled her against him, "You can't go off doing shit like that. You have the kids to think about, especially the little one." His hand ghosting across her belly, "You need to take care of yourself."

Kayla kept her mouth shut; she wasn't in the mood to discuss anything. She felt Happy pull her closer, his lips grazing her neck; he mumbled into her hair, "Night La, I love you."

**Ok, not as long as I usually give you…but I wanted to get an update up for you today! I have a ton of writing to catch up on, so there you go! Ok, off to write on other things! Hope your weekend is awesome! Hugs, Kaye**


	28. Hope Against Hope

Chapter 28….Hope against Hope

**Well I hope this chapter comes out like I see it in my head. Lots of stuff is going to come to a head. The boys are heading to Mexico to take care of Zobelle while, things are having back in Charming. Don't throw stuff at me! You know you all love me. Ok, off we go, enjoy the ride.**

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla watched as Happy packed his saddle bags. The kids were playing on the floor of the dorm room, bringing him toys once in awhile. After Vic brought him the same block three times, Happy set the saddle bags down and knelt down to pick up his son, "You gonna miss me big boy? Huh?" He tickled his son who roared out in laughter.

Before Happy could put him down, Nora was pulling at his pant leg, "Up dada, up!"

Happy picked her up balancing her on the other hip, "What little princess you need love too?" He showered his daughter's face with kisses. Then he turned to Vic doing the same thing to him. When he looked at Kayla she was sitting staring at her hands.

Over the last week the two of them had hardly spoken unless it was about the kids. She was shutting him out; he had seen her do it before. He sighed kissing each kid on the head and setting them back down with their toys. He walked over and knelt down in front of her, "La, what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

Kayla sighed, looking into his eyes, "I'm scared."

Happy sighed, brushing her hair from her face, "What're you afraid of?"

Kayla's eyes started to tear, "What if you don't come back? I've already lost so much to this bastard."

Happy smiled leaning in to kiss her lips, he leaned his forehead against hers, "Baby I'm coming back. This asshole will be dead, very fucking dead. You just need to relax, remember what Tara said your stress level is through the fucking roof. If I didn't think the club needed me on this, I wouldn't be going. Koz is staying behind and so is Clay and Piney. Just listen to Koz and take care of our kids. I'll be back by the end of the week. Alright?"

Kayla nodded wiping at a few stray tears that had rolled down her cheeks; she stared at him, her hazel eyes full of pain, "I'm really sorry I helped Clay." A sob escaping her lips, Happy sighed moving onto the bed pulling her into his lap. He just sat there holding her, stroking her hair, he hated her crying, but at least she was talking to him.

He felt her relax and he pulled away to look at her, "La, I'm going to be just fine. Promise me while I'm gone you'll stay out of trouble. PROMISE ME."

Kayla nodded her head, "Promise me you'll come home to us."

Happy laughed, "You bet your ass." He crushed his lips to hers, his tongue tasting her as deep as he could. He felt her shiver under his touch as his hand snaked up inside her shirt, touching her bare back. Before things could go too far, there was a knock on the door, they both laughed.

Kayla smiled, "I guess we can't finish this right now."

Happy kissed her once more, setting her back on the bed, "We will when I get back." He squeezed her breast and kissed her once one, then opened the door.

Jax was standing there, "Bro we need to get going."

Happy nodded, "Be right there."

Jax looked at Kayla, "You doing alright sis?"

Kayla just glared at him, she turned back to Happy, "Be safe and come back."

Happy grabbed his saddle bag, "I promise, behave La." He kissed each of the kids and her once more before disappeared out the door and shutting the door.

Jax was hot on his heels, "Do you think she'll ever talk to me again?"

Happy turned around and looked at the now fading bruises that he had given Jax for laying his hands on Kayla, Happy smirked glad they were still there, "She's not as forgiving as I am." He turned and headed toward his bike, leaving Jax to stand there and hang his head.

**-Hard to Love-**

The kids had finally gone down to bed, both of them fighting it. Every time Hap went on a run they always acted like this, she sighed as she sipped her water. She was watching all the kids, letting Tara work late and Simone and Koz had gone out for a ride. She heard the door open and her head snapped up; she smiled when she saw Skinny walking toward her. "What are you doing here?"

She stood and hugged him, Skinny sat down across from her, "You won't believe this, but I found some shit that I wanted to give you directly. It's some bad shit Kayla and you have to promise me that you'll stay away from this person."

Kayla's eyes went wide, "What do you know? Jesus Christ Skinny, tell me."

Skinny sighed, pulling out a stack of papers, "This is your mother's will, it leaves her half of Teller-Morrow to you, the clubhouse goes to Jackson."

Kayla shook her head, "No, that can't be. We had the reading of the will and it said everything went to Clay."

Skinny sighed flipping through the stack of papers, he pulled out a blurry photo, "It looks like your mother and father rekindled their romance."

Kayla sat staring at the photo of Gemma and Tig; they were sitting in a park both of them deep in a lip lock. Kayla put her heart to her chest; this was crazy, had her mother been the mystery woman that her father was seeing. With tears in her eyes, she looked at Skinny, "Are you sure they were having an affair?"

Skinny nodded, "Yes, they have been spending a lot of time at the motel just outside of Lodi. I found the receipts."

Kayla nodded her head, "What about the will? Where did you find it?"

Skinny leaned back in his chair, "It was filed by a lawyer in LA, but the paperwork got held up. I stumbled across it by accident. I was doing a search of your mother's name. Something just wasn't adding up with everything. Who had the most to gain?"

Kayla stared at him, "Clay."

Skinny nodded, leaning forward his arms resting on the table, "I think you and the kids should come with me until Happy gets back. We can hide out until they get back, you're not safe here."

Kayla nodded, "I can't leave until Kozic and Simone get back."

Skinny sighed, "You can't tell them anything, if you do it could tip off Clay. I'll wait on the street and come back and get you all. Just be careful. I won't let anything happen to you or the kids."

Kayla nodded, they stood and Skinny hugged her, "It's gonna be fine. Once Happy is back this shit will all go away."

**-Hard to Love-**

Clay stood in the darkened kitchen listening to Skinny tell Kayla everything. He knew it was just a matter of time before someone figured it out. He had hoped that pulling Kayla closer and playing the grieving husband would throw everyone off his scent. He didn't want to kill her, but her sleeping with Tig had been the final straw. Half-Sack had just been causality, he didn't want to kill the kid, but when he found him standing over Gemma's body, he knew he couldn't live. Clay sighed, he would have to follow them and then he would take care of Kayla and her little CIA boy toy. He could make it look like a lover's tryst gone wrong. He smiled to himself as he watched Kayla head back to her and Happy's dorm room; he had been waiting to kill the little bitch for years. He would kill her and then he would take back his club, things were looking up.

**-Hard to Love-**

Skinny was just where he said he would be, he got out of the car and helped her put the kids in the back seat. Once they were on the road, she wiped at tears that were falling from her eyes, she just hoped that Happy would understand why she left.

The next morning Kayla stood on the porch of a cabin just outside of Reno. Skinny said it was the safest place, getting her and the kids out of California. Koz and Happy had been blowing up her phone, but Skinny told her not to contact them until they knew that Hap was in California. She sipped her coffee and stared out onto the desert, praying that things would get back to normal, she didn't know how much more she could take.

Clay Morrow leaned against the small garage behind the house, he was just waiting for the stupid bastard to leave her and the kids alone and then he would strike. By the end of the day, Kayla Lowman would be just another page in MC history.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla sat on the floor playing with the kids, "Are you sure we're safe here?"

Skinny nodded, "I'm just running into town to meet a contact. Just keep your gun handy. If what I hear is right Happy and the others should be back to Charming by tonight. I'll take you home tomorrow and we'll stop Clay from ever hurting anyone again."

Kayla nodded smiling at her children, "Thank you Skinny, I'll never be able to thank you for all you've done for my family."

Skinny smirked, "I'd say we could take it out in trade, but I like my balls right where they are."

Kayla laughed as he headed out, she heard the car fade away and she turned back to the kids, "Who wants to help me make dinner?"

Vic looked disgusted, but Nora jumped up and down, "I do, I do."

Just as Kayla stood up, the door to the cabin opened, standing there was Clay, his gun drawn and a sinister smile on his face, "What no kiss for daddy?"

Kayla pushed the kids behind her, "Don't hurt them!"

Clay laughed, shutting the door behind him, "Why don't you put the kids in the bathroom, won't want them to see their mother get killed, now would we?"

Kayla picked up both kids and started down the hallway, Clay following right behind them, the gun pressed into her back. Clay opened the door to the bathroom and motioned her to put the kids down. Kayla did shaking, she kissed both of their heads, "Now be a good girl and boy and stay here for mommy. I need to talk to Clay for just a few minutes. I'll be right back."

Once they left the kids, Clay pushed her back into the kitchen; he slammed her into the kitchen table. As soon as she hit the table she felt an explosion in her abdomen, Kayla groaned as he pushed her into a chair. Kayla held her stomach, "So what's the play here? You know that Happy and Jax will hunt you down. It's over! You killed her didn't you?"

Clay snickered, lowering to be on her eye level, "Your dad-de sealed your fate the moment he fucked my wife!"

Kayla laughed at him, "Well go ahead you sick fuck! What are you waiting for?"

Clay stood up and back handed her, Kayla hit the floor hard. She could feel blood rushing down her legs, her head was swimming. She laid there on the floor, trying to hold onto the memory of the last time Happy held her, when the kids took their first steps, and the first time Tig held her knowing he was her father. She closed her eyes and waited for him to shot her, but he didn't. She heard one of the kitchen chairs move and she sat up slowly.

Clay laughed at her, motioning to the floor, "Looks like you might be losing that baby."

Kayla fought back the tears, she hugged her knees, "Just kill me and get it over."

Clay smirked lighting his cigar, "Just waiting on your little boy toy, have to make this look like he got pissed and killed you and then killed himself. So just settle down, death will come soon enough."

**-Hard to Love-**

On the outskirts of Reno, Skinny pulled over to a rest stop, SAMCRO was already lined up waiting for him. Happy was off his bike and heading for him before the man got out of the car. "How is she?"

Skinny nodded to him, "She's fine man, so are the kids. But he's there; saw him this morning hiding behind the garage. I left her with the gun. I don't think he'll make a move till I get back."

Jax had walked up and joined them, "You sure about that?"

Skinny nodded, "He needs to kill me, it's the only way he can explain it to SAMCRO. If you take the back road, he won't hear the bikes. We need to move."

Happy grabbed Skinny's arm, "Thanks man."

Skinny nodded, "I told you I'd watch out for your family, I meant it."

Skinny had called Hap before he went to Charming. He had told them all about Clay and the will, he also told Happy about Gemma and Tig's affair. That was something that Happy had kept to himself, but as he rode toward his wife and kids, he couldn't help but have a sinking feeling in his gut. Not all of them were going to make it out alive.

**-Hard to Love-**

Skinny pulled up to the cabin and took a deep breath; he had to play this just right. He could already see SAMCRO taking up post around the cabin. He had never been in love with Kayla, but he loved her, as much as a man like him could. He promised himself a long time ago when she had finally opened up and told him about the rape, that he would move heaven and earth to keep her safe and happy.

He made his way into the cabin, Clay was behind the door gun drawn, "Well look what we have here, a boy toy. Welcome boy toy, why don't you go sit on the floor over there with your little girlfriend."

Skinny slowly sank down on the floor next to Kayla, his eyes never leaving Clay, he reached out and took her hand, "You alright?"

Kayla sobbed, "I think I lost the baby."

Skinny squeezed her hand, "It's gonna be alright Kayla. Where are the kids?"

Kayla clung to his arm, "In the bathroom."

Clay laughed, "You two are so sweet, taking care of each other like that. Tsk, Tsk, what would your husband say?"

Before Clay could react the door flung open, Happy had his gun drawn, "NOT A FUCKING THING!"

Clay turned his eyes wide, "How?"

Skinny stood up his gun now pulled out of his boot, he pointed it at Clay, "I fucking called him."

Within minutes, the rest of SAMCRO rushed the cabin. Once Tig and Jax had Clay tied to one of the chairs he scooped up Kayla and carried her back to the bedroom, Chibs on his heels. Kayla buried her face in his kutte, sobbing, "I thought ….the kids…..the baby….Oh God I'm so sorry."

Happy kissed her head, "Settle down La, it's alright. Chibs would you please help her?"

Tig came to the door holding the kids, "I got them brother where do you want them?"

Happy looked at his kids, "Can you have Lorca and Donut take them to our hotel room."

Tig nodded, looking at his daughter, "You gonna be alright peanut?"

Kayla sobbed as Chibs pushed on her stomach, "I'm trying daddy."

Tig had tears in his eyes, "I'll be right back peanut."

Happy turned to her, stroking her hair, "Baby it's alright, I'm right here. Just hang on for me."

Happy looked at Chibs, the Scot's face was grim, he simply shook his head. Happy cupped her face, "La, it's alright. We're gonna get you back to the hotel, Tara is there."

Kayla looked at Chibs, "Is the baby gone?"

Chibs stared at her and then Hap, he sighed, "Aye, darlin'. I'm so sorry."

Kayla gasped pulling Happy to her, her baby was gone. Happy held her letting her cry. Chibs retreated into the living room where Jax stood next to Clay, Tig on the other side. Chibs sighed, "She lost the wee one."

Tig went nuts working Clay over, finally Chibs and Jax pulled him off once Clay had blacked out. Jax whispered in his ear, "He'll get his brother, he will. You need to pull yourself together for Kayla. Now go help Happy get her into Skinny's car."

Tig nodded, his mind spinning, Clay had took so much from him already. He walked over and spat on him, he pulled his head up, growling in his face, "I'm gonna love watching you die mother fucker."

**Ok, there you go! The truth is out! Next chapter we see Clay pay for his sins, and we see Kayla struggle with her loss. Happier times are coming! Gold stars to those of you that knew Clay was behind everything! Hugs, Kaye**


	29. As Much Mine

Chapter 29…..As Much Mine

**Well I thought about ending this one and starting a sequel, but I thought why not keep going…I'm going to do a few times jumps to get us to the new part of this one. New villains, I hope I pull it off, Let me know what you think! Ok, here we go, Enjoy the ride.**

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy stood smirking down at Clay, the man was finally coming to terms with his fate. Happy had to see this through, he didn't want to leave Kayla back at the hotel, but when Tig said he'd rather stay back with her and the kids, while Happy jumped at the chance. He wanted to make sure it got done, that there was no way for Clay to come back. Happy had to make sure that Clay met Mr. Mayhem.

They had worked the man over for hours the night before, letting everyone get their pound of flesh. Clay tried to cut deals with everyone of them, but in the end he finally realized that there was no talking to the men he use to call brothers.

Now standing over him watching the realization hit Clay, Happy got some sick satisfaction. The man had taken everything from them, the trust that came with the kutte, Gemma, and his own child. Now Clay Morrow would understand what violating that trust got someone.

Clay had a rope attached to each of his limbs, the ropes led to bikes. Happy didn't want to ride; he wanted to watch first hand as the bikes ripped him apart. Jax felt a bullet to the head was too good for Clay after all the damage that had been done, so Happy had given them the idea.

Jax put a hand on Happy's shoulder, "You got this brother?"

Happy nodded grimly looking at Clay, "Oh yeah, this will be perfect."

Jax simply nodded climbing onto his bike, Chibs, Juice, and Quinn following suit. Quinn had gotten there the night before and when he found out all of Clay's crimes, he wanted to get bloody with the rest of them. Happy looked to make sure all four bikes were ready, he lifted his gun and fired into the air. With a twisted smile on his face, he watched as the bikes pulled Clay Morrow apart. It was a slow and horrible death, when it was over, Clay Morrow was no more.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla sat on the floor, Nora was in her lap and Vic was next to her, the three of them were coloring. She hadn't said two words since they got back from the cabin. Tig stood at the open door of the hotel room staring out to the horizon, a cigarette in his hand.

Kayla stared at her father's back; she could tell he was hurting too. She gently sat down Nora and made her way behind her father, she gently put her hand on his back. Tig turned to her and smile, "Hey peanut."

Kayla stared at him for a minute, "You really loved her didn't you?"

Tig sighed putting an arm around his daughter, "Yes. I really did. She was going to leave him. She couldn't take anymore. It happened by accident. I was over at the house one night when she was watching the kids. We had just put them down, so we got out a bottle of whiskey and sat there talking. Talking about you and the babies and how lucky we were to have you. Well we ended up finishing up the bottle, the next thing I know I woke up next to her. I figured we would never speak of it again, but a few days later at the garage, she cornered me and kissed me. Telling me she couldn't stop thinking about me. It just went on from there, I just couldn't live without her, I don't know how I'm doing it now. I think if it wasn't for you and the kids well…"

Kayla held him as he sobbed, she stroked his hair, "Dad, mom would want you to go on. She always wanted you to find someone to love, someone to call your own. You can't talk like this dad, please. If I lost you I don't think I can take anymore loss."

Tig looked up at his daughter and cupped her face in his hands, "You don't EVER have to worry about me peanut. I ain't leaving you, I swear." The two sat there together holding each other, both mourning the losses they had suffered and thankful for each other.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy and the others got back a few hours later, Tig greeted them, "How'd it go?"

Happy's jaw was clenched tight and his eyes were black, "It's done."

Tig nodded patting his son in law on the back, "They're asleep, for about an hour."

Happy lit a joint and leaned back against the wall, "She talk yet?"

Tig sighed, "She's torn up about the baby. She's worried you'll blame her, because she went with Skinny."

Happy took a drag and handed the joint to Tig, "It was my fucking idea. Did you tell her that?"

Tig exhaled, "Yeah, I told that again today, Quinn told her last night, and Skinny told her. I think she needs to hear it from you. She cried, I'm worried about her."

Happy nodded, "I am too."

**-Hard to Love-**

The next day Kayla found herself stuck in the van with Donut, she didn't mind the NOMAD, but damn could he talk. Honestly the only thing she wanted to do was get home, drink too much, and fall asleep in her own bed. When they finally stopped for gas, she stared at her husband, she needed him to hold her, she needed him to tell her everything would be alright.

Kayla looked back at her two little ones that were playing and watching a DVD, "Let's go for a potty break."

Nora shook her head, while Vic rolled his eyes in true Lowman fashion. As Kayla started across the parking lot toward the gas station, she heard footsteps behind her. She turned and saw Happy quickly closing the distance between them, his face hard, "What the hell are you doing going off alone?"

Kayla sighed, "Taking the kids to the bathroom, Jesus Hap."

She turned and headed toward the bathrooms, but Hap scooped up Vic, "I'll take him."

Kayla just rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

By the time that she and Nora were finished and headed toward the van she saw Donut sitting on Happy's bike. Kayla sighed loading Nora into the back of the van, when she got into the van; Happy was already drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He glared at her, "What the fuck too so long?"

Kayla huffed, "Well she's little it takes time."

Happy pulled the van out of the gas station, "Vic and I made it back, what the hell did you do her fucking makeup?"

Kayla glared at him; she turned toward the window and stared out at the passing scenery. Happy sighed, "Fuck, La, I'm sorry. I just need you to talk to me. Not shut me the fuck out."

Kayla turned to him, "What do you want to hear? Huh? Tell me what you want to hear? I feel fucking empty! EMPTY! My mom is gone; I have no one to talk to about the baby." Kayla buried her head into her knees and sobbed.

Happy sighed; he flicked the van lights and pulled over on the side of the road. He put the van onto the side of the road, he sighed, "Alright, let's get a few things straight here. One, you are NOT FUCKING ALONE. I'm right fucking here! Two, we'll have another baby; if you want a fucking house full of babies I'll fucking give them to you. But don't you fucking sit there and act like I don't give a shit."

Kayla didn't look up, so Happy moved so he could force her to look at him, "Let me fucking in."

Tears were rolling down her cheeks, "I'm so afraid."

Happy grabbed her face in his hands, "What are you afraid of?"

Kayla let out a breathy sigh, "I'm afraid this club will take you, my dad, and the kids away from me. Just like it's taken everything else."

Happy sighed moving her over into his lap; he stroked her back and softly kissed her forehead. He looked out the windshield and saw the others sitting waiting on their bikes, he knew they had to get going; sitting out in the open like this wasn't good. He pulled away from her slowly, "La, I ain't going anywhere. I know things of been shit and I know that you're hurting. I'm hurting too. La, I wanted that baby so fucking bad, but that is on Clay and now he won't ever hurt you again. I need you to hang in there for me, hang in there for me and the kids. I love you."

Kayla nodded her head, throwing her arms around his neck, "I love you too." They sat like that for awhile, neither of them saying anything.

Finally Tig walked over and knocked on the window, "Everything alright?"

Happy rolled down the window, "Yeah, just working some shit out. We're ready to go, right La?"

Kayla nodded her head sliding back over to her seat. As they drove down the road toward Charming, Happy reached over and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

**-Hard to Love-**

That night Kayla felt a great relief fill her as she laid the kids down to bed. There was nothing like being in your own bed. She stood and smiled as she leaned against the door jamb, her two little ones were such a blessing. She sighed as she walked down the hall towards her and Hap's room.

Hap was sitting on the edge of the bed, shirtless; he motioned for her to come towards him. She smiled as she came to rest in-between his legs, his hands working up and down the back of her thighs. He leaned his head against her hip and growled, "Fuck, I need you, La."

Kayla ran her hand over his shaved head, enjoying the feel under her hand, "You have to be gentle."

Happy grinned up at her, pulling her night gown up so his head rested against her stomach, "I think I can do that."

He was gentle guiding her onto her back, his calloused hands working hard to caress every part of her, he softly kissed a trail down her neck, "I fucking love you."

Kayla sighed as he pulled away, "I love you too Happy." He grinned at her, helping her pull the night gown from her body, his lips landing on her breasts. He felt her shiver and he loved the feeling it shot through his body, this woman was his everything.

Never in his life had he thought a woman would stir so much feeling in him. He never thought a woman would want him like she wanted him. He hooked his thumbs inside the band of her pink lacy boy shorts and pulled them down, kissing a trail down her legs. When he stood he took of his pants and boxers in one fast move, getting back on the bed, his lips returned to hers.

When he entered her she hissed, he looked at her, studying her face, his hand gently caressing her cheek. She finally looked up at him and smiled, "I'm fine." She reached up and brought their lips together again. They moved slowly, drinking in each other. When they finally came, they did together, both clinging to the other.

Afterward Hap pulled her onto his chest, her dark brown hair falling in cascades, he buried his nose into her hair enjoying the scent of vanilla that was all her. He kissed her head, "Get some sleep, La." He felt her nod against his chest, not missing the feel of tears coming from her eyes. He just held her knowing that she didn't need his words; she just needed him to be there for her.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy was nervous, he hated all this cartel bullshit, this was something that Clay had drug them into and now with him gone, the cartel was antsy about the new changes in SAMCRO. Happy watched as the two hummers pulled up and Romeo stepped out. Happy fell in next to Tig, he knew his father-in-law wasn't too crazy about this new deal that Jax had been working on, but both men had kept their thoughts to themselves.

Romeo smiled, "Jackson, so good to see you again." The two men shook hands.

Jax nodded, "Good to see you too, thanks for this meeting."

Romeo sighed, crossing his arms, "Jackson we are a little nervous about this now that Clay is gone. We understand why it had to be done, but we don't like to be left out of the loop."

Jax looked back at them and then to Romeo, "We had to do what was best for the club, this had nothing to do with our deal with the cartel. Clay killed my mother and tried to kill my sister, we had to make sure our innocents were safe."

Romeo nodded, "We have the first shipment due this weekend. Are we set on your end?"

Jax nodded, "Yeah we're set. I've already talked to Alavarez and they are all set to pick up the shipment from us."

Romeo took a step closer, "I hear your sister has some kind of sway over him. It might come in handy. Marcus has been feeling the need to pull out of this deal, so I'm counting on you to make sure he holds up his end of this."

Jax sighed, "I don't think my sister can really help."

Romeo chuckled looking down at the ground, "Well you need to make sure she does help. Would hate for anything to go wrong with our arrangement and some innocents were hurt."

Happy started to take a step forward, but Opie put a hand on his shoulder holding him in place. Chibs had turned around and put a hand on Tig's chest holding him in place. Neither man wanted anything to fucking do with this deal with the cartel and now Kayla's name was coming up, that shit wasn't going to sit well.

Jax shook Romeo's hand, "I'll see what I can do."

Romeo smiled, "See that you do."

**-Hard to Love-**

Jax sat with his head in his hands; they had been at this for over an hour. Happy at one point had threatened to kill his president, saying that he wasn't going to let his wife get fucked over because of this deal with the cartel. Tig had been ranting and raving until Bobby muscled him into his chair. It was finally Quinn who got them all to sit the fuck down.

Jax looked around the room, he took a deep breath, "I know this is fucked up. I didn't want this deal with the cartel, I inherited it. It's bad enough that we've kept this shit from our old ladies. I don't know about the rest of you, but the ladies are going to be fucking pissed that we're involved with drugs in anyway. I don't want Kayla near this, but Romeo is right the only person that can talk Alaverez into going along with this. If we don't, we put all of our families at risk."

Happy stood up his chair falling over, "So it's fucking alright to put my old lady at risk? What the fuck is wrong with you? She's your fucking sister! She's been through enough!"

Quinn grabbed onto Happy, making sure the Killer was well out of arms length from the president. Jax stood up his hands up, "HAP! Don't you think I fucking know that! I don't like this anymore than you do, but I don't know how to keep us all fucking safe!"

Quinn whispered into Happy's ear, "Sit down, man. Killing her brother isn't going to help matters."

Happy shrugged off Quinn, "Are we done here?"

Jax looked around staring at the rest of the table, "Yeah, we're done but Church tomorrow at five. I'll talk to Kayla."

Happy stopped at the door, turning he glared at Jax, "Don't you fucking go near her. She's my old lady god damn it and I'll fucking talk to her, but you stay away from her."

Jax stood in disbelief as Happy slammed the door open and took off. Tig stood up, "I'll talk to him. Just don't go near Kayla." Jax nodded; once everyone was gone he sank into his seat, feeling the weight of the president's patch on his chest. Things were way too fucked up, Jax sighed hoping that he would figure out a way to keep everyone safe.

**-Hard to Love-**

Quinn knew as soon as Happy and Tig took off that they were going for a ride to clear both of their heads. So he did what he thought was best, he headed to Kayla. When she opened the door she knew something was wrong. With both kids in bed she sat down across from him, "What the hell is going on? I know that Hap's fine, he just texted and said he would be late. But if you're here I know shit is going on."

Quinn sighed taking a drink from the beer he took from the fridge, "You know I'm patching SAMCRO, Jax disbanded the NOMADS."

Kayla stared at him, "What? You've never patched, why the hell did he disband the NOMADS?"

Quinn couldn't believe that Happy had kept her out of the loop, "Hell Kayla I thought you knew. Shit." He sat back in his chair, "Jax wants a NOMAD at every table on the ready. He wants us close to the charters."

Kayla eyed her friend nervously, "Why?"

Quinn leaned in toward her, "Clay made a deal with the Galindo cartel, we've been mulling drugs for them to the Mayans."

Kayla felt like the air was sucked out of the room, "WHAT? SAMCRO has never, NEVER dealt with drugs!"  
Quinn patted her hand, "We are just moving the drugs, we aren't dealing them. The problem is Clay got us so far in, if we pull out we're all dead. Now it looks like Alaverez wants out, he wants the Mayans clear of this."

Kayla felt tears welling up in her eyes, "So now that means…."

Quinn sighed, "Yeah, that's why your old man is out there riding. He's thinking of leaving, him and Tig. They don't want you anywhere near this shit, but we both know if they leave, they're both gonna end up getting killed. I'm not happy about this, not at all, but I love this club. I can't let them get killed. I can't let you lose anyone else."

Kayla felt a tear roll down her face, "So you need me to talk to Marcus? What do you think I'm going to say to him? He knows the risk, me telling him that isn't going to do any good."

Quinn nodded taking a drink of his beer, "I fucking know, but Romeo thinks you'll have some kind of pull."

Kayla wiped at her tears, "Why are you here?"

Quinn sighed, "I don't know what Hap is going to say to you, I wanted you to know the whole truth. I wanted you to know so you can do what you have to, protect this club."

Kayla sighed, "Protecting this club hasn't gotten me much more than shit. What if I don't care? What if I want my family away from this bullshit?"

Quinn stood up; he came over and kissed her head, "This club is just as much yours as it is ours. I don't like this anymore than you do, but you're smart. Maybe you'll find us a way out of this shit, before it kills us all."

Kayla sat there; she heard the front door open and close and then the sound of Quinn's bike taking off. She stared out her patio window and sighed, her mother would know how to keep this club together. She hated that her mom wasn't there now to help, but Quinn was right this club was just as much hers as it was theirs and she wasn't going to let it die without a fight.

**Ok, there we go….Let me know what you think. I thought I killed Clay quite poetically. LOL, thank you for your continued support! Hugs, Kaye**


	30. The Crack

Chapter 30…The Crack

**Sorry for such a long absence. Lots been going on in life and I am just finally getting into the swing of things. Helped my mom through chemo and she is doing great, so my free time is back to my own. I haven't forgotten these stories and plan on updating them all as soon as I can. This one will be my priority out of the SOA stories! **

**Now, for this to go the way I planned there will be chapters that combine all three couples, because the action will need all three couples to have some kind of problem that is the catalyst for one hell of an ending and the beginning of a new fic for one of our guys.**

**So here we go! Thanks for taking a second to read this! You all rock! Hugs, Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla sat at the kitchen table, her hands absently playing with her water bottle. She kept running over in her mind how she would handle this new role she was taking on. If she went to Marcus she would have to do it behind Hap's back and that wasn't going to sit well with him. But she knew the first thing she needed to do tonight was make sure that he and Tig stayed. They had to stay, they had to keep SAMCRO whole, they had all lost so much already. When she heard the sound of Harleys, she snapped from her own mind and walked into the living room. Hap opened the door followed by her father. The two men looked exhausted.

Kayla smiled at them, "Can I get you two anything?"

Hap shook his head, "No, La. We need to talk."

Kayla looked at her father and saw his face was hard and set, "Alright then. Talk."

Tig sat down near the door in the recliner, while Happy paced back and forth, his mind was a fucking mess. Even the ride hadn't helped clear the noise. He took a deep breath and stared at her, "We're in deep shit, La. So deep that your dad and me think we need to cut out. I never thought I would fucking say this but we need to go Tacoma, transfer."

Kayla sat back taking in what he said, they didn't want out, just out of Charming, she could work with that, "Why? You said you'd never go back to Tacoma. Hell Kozic even lives down here now; he moved here to be with us. Quinn is patching in."

Happy's head snapped up, "What did you say?" His eyes narrowing at her.

Kayla swallowed hard, "All our family is here now."

Happy walked toward his wife, his eyes narrowing, "Was Quinn here?"

Kayla slowly nodded her head; she looked at her father to see him sit up putting his head in his hands. When she looked over at Happy he stalked over to the nearest wall and punched the wall. "FUCK!"

Kayla jumped up going to him, his knuckles bleeding, "Jesus Hap." She heard Nora screaming upstairs and she glared at him, "Nice, real fucking nice." She retreated up the stairs, when he heard her talking softly to his daughter he turned to his father-in-law.

"What the fuck was he thinking?"

Tig shrugged sitting back in the chair, "I don't know. Maybe he thought he was helping or some shit. I bet two to one she knows it fucking all."

Happy kicked the wall, leaning his forehead against it, "Son of a fucking bitch."

Kayla sat there on Nora's bed, rubbing soft circles on her daughter's back. She sighed, was there ever going to be a time when things weren't shitty. She took a deep breath and softly kissed her daughter's head, hoping she could make things right.

**-Hard to Love-**

When Kayla came back downstairs her father was gone. Happy was sitting at the kitchen table his kutte thrown on the back of a chair, a beer in his hand, "What did that big dumb fucker say to you?"

Kayla sighed leaning against the door way, crossing her arms, "He said that you have been dealing with the Galindo cartel. That's some serious shit Hap, why didn't you tell me?"

Happy slammed his beer down on the table, "THERE'S NO WE! Clay got us into this shit, I voted fucking against it. And I didn't tell you because I thought it would keep you safe, keep you and the kids safe."

Kayla looked down at her feet, "I thought we were in this together?"

Happy stood up walking slowly toward her, "We are in this. Fuck, La, I did what I thought was best to keep you and the kids safe." He pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head, "I can't lose you."

Kayla wrapped her arms around him, taking in the scent which was all her husband, "I know, but I can't lose you either."

Happy pulled away looking down at her, his thumbs tracing circles on her cheeks, his eyes searching hers, "I want you to stay away from this." His voice was a pleading whisper, "Promise me."

In all the time they had been together she had never seen him look nervous, but she saw a hint of fear in her husband's eyes. She nodded, her hands going to his hard chest, "I promise big man, not gonna do anything stupid."

Happy let out a sigh of relief as he tilted her head up and kissed her slow. He didn't give a shit what was going on outside this house, for now he was focused on his family. Tomorrow after some sleep he'd figure out how to deal with the club.

**-Hard to Love-**

Quinn had gotten the call the night before from Karla that he needed to come home. Karla had stayed in Washington waiting for their youngest girl, Anna to finish up with the current school year. He hated being so far from his family, but after all his years on the road as a NOMAD his family was use to his absence. But that night there was something different in Karla's voice when she called. He had tried to get her to tell him what was wrong, but she simply told him she had never asked him to come home before and she just needed him to trust her.

Quinn felt sick as he pulled up into his driveway, he sighed taking a deep breath knowing that whatever happened when he walked into the house was going to turn his world upside down. He snickered to himself; maybe one of the girls finally got themselves knocked up. Christ knew his oldest was always rubbing up on someone. He sighed running a tired hand over his face as he opened his front door.

Karla had heard the bike pull up. She knew he would home that night so she stayed up; this was something he had to hear in person. She just hoped he would still want her after she said her peace. She sat on the couch and swallowed hard when he came into the living room. She smiled at him, "Hey big man, miss me?"

Quinn crossed his arms, his face hard, "I did, but what the fuck is going on? I'm here now so let me know whose ass I need to kick or what needs paid off."

Karla sighed patting the couch next to her, "Will you sit with me?"

Quinn didn't like this, if it was one of the kids she would've been throwing shit and screaming, her eerie calm was unnerving. He slowly made his way toward his wife, he stopped kissing her forehead, closing his eyes he inhaled her scent, "You got me worried baby."

He sat down and stared into her eyes, unshed tears staring back at him. So many things were running through his mind, did she cheat on him? Was she leaving him?

As if she could read his mind Karla cupped his face, her thumb brushing his cheek down to his beard, "You know I never thought I could love someone like I love you. I never thought I deserved to be loved like that by anyone, not after what I did to my dad. But there you came with all your leather and bikes, and those two beautiful girls and you made me love you like crazy. I don't thank you enough for giving me this life and your love."

Quinn wiped the tears from her face; he swallowed hard, "Fucking hell Karla, what the hell is going on?"

Karla took a deep breath, her eyes staring at her hands that now lay limply in her lap, her voice a whisper, "I have breast cancer."

Quinn felt like he couldn't breathe, "What?"

Karla stood up starting to pace, "I found a lump. So I went to the doctor and they ran some tests."

Quinn was standing now, he felt pissed, "WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

Karla turned her fists clenched at her sides, "I WAS SCARED!" She hugged herself, "It's bad Rane….It's so bad."

Quinn felt fear pricking up his spine; he went to his wife, pulling her into his chest, stroking her hair as she sobbed. His voice cracking, "How bad?"

Karla pulled away from him to look into his eyes, "Stage three, maybe four. They won't know until they do the surgery. They have to cut them off; they're taking them from me. The thing that makes me a woman. How will you be able to look at me?"

She tried to pull away from him, but he held her hard against his chest, afraid that death would take her right there from his arms, "That's enough of that shit! I'll always be able to look at you, we're gonna fight this shit baby. I'll call Jax and Lorca, I'll transfer into Tacoma. No one will say shit to me. I'll send Frankie to Charming, it's cool. It's gonna be fine baby, I'll be here the whole time. I swear. I love you dancer, ain't nothing gonna change that shit. This shit, you and me that's fucking forever so don't go using this as an excuse to get rid of me, ain't gonna happen."

Karla nodded into his kutte, tears wetting his tee shirt, her arms drawn up between them resting on his chest. Quinn buried his nose into her hair, just rocking her, knowing that the time for the ride was over. What mattered most to him was in his arms.

**-Hard to Love-**

Juice sat staring into the darkness; he could see the warehouse in the distance. He could do it here and someone would find him and the club would take care of his family. He knew he should go home, but what fucking good was he to his family. He was a rat, a fucking rat. When Roosevelt and that creepy fucker Lincoln Potter had come to him telling him if he gave them information on the IRA that they would get Lynn clear of her murder charges he felt he had to do it. He loved that woman like crazy. The club had taken him in when he had no one but his grandmother, but Lynn had given him what he needed, the roots and love that he craved.

He quietly took his 9MM from his waist band and held it in his hands. He could do it here, it wouldn't take long for someone to find him, he could just end it. He heard a bike rumbling toward him and he wiped at his tears, putting his gun away. He walked toward Chibs, hoping the man won't notice how upset he was.

Chibs had gotten the call from Lynn earlier that something was off with Juice. She had told him that he was acting funny and she wasn't sure why, but she was worried. With his grandmother passing away and all the pressure with the club she was worried. Chibs had told her he would ride up to the warehouse and check on his son-in-law, when Chibs got there it was hard to not notice the wet cheeks and haunted look on the man's face. "Hey Juicer, why you up here? Got my daughter scared out of her damn mind."

Juice flipped out his phone and saw six missed calls and three text messages from his wife, "Oh shit, yeah sorry I just needed to think to clear my head."

Chibs got off the bike and walked toward Juice, he put his hand on the man's shoulder and pulled him into him, hugging him, "Boy you know I love ya like my own son. I know you're working through a bunch of shite in that little head of yours, but you need to talk to us. We're your family." Chibs pulled back his hand on the back of Juice's neck, "We're here for ya."

Juice nodded, hating himself for what he did and for the tears he was spilling in front of his father-in-law, he wiped at his face laughing nervously, "I didn't think it would be this hard."

Chibs thought he was talking about losing his grandmother, he nodded his head pulling the man back into his arms, "I know kid, I know."

Juice let his father-in-law hold him for a few minutes knowing that he would likely be the one to have to put the bullet in his head when the club found out about his betrayal. He needed to find a way out for him and his family before that time came.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla waited until Hap had left the next morning to pull out her phone. The kids were playing quietly in the back yard. She took a deep breath smiling as her two little ones ran and played on their swing set. She chanted to herself that this was what her mother would do. She opened her phone and hit Marcus' number.

"Hey chica, how's my favorite old lady doing?"

Kayla chuckled, "Oh don't let Carmen hear that."

Marcus laughed, "Oh she knows and she loves it. Once you've been married as long as we have you'll understand chica. Now I know you didn't call just to hear my voice."

Kayla sighed, "Yeah, this has to be just between us. Is there any way I could come to Oakland and visit with you and Carmen today. I won't be long, it's important."

Marcus was silent for a moment, "Alright, I take it Happy doesn't know you're calling me?"

Kayla felt her insides churn, "No, I'd like to keep it that way. I'll tell him I'm buying for the next production at the theatre."

Marcus sighed, "Alright, just be careful. I'll see you this afternoon."

Two hours later she sat on the back patio at the Alaverez home, Carmen brought her and Marcus beers. They talked for a little while and then the Mayan Queen excused herself. Marcus sat up leaning on the small glass patio table, "What's going on chica?"

Kayla swallowed hard, "I know about Galindo and they know about our relationship. They told the SONS if I didn't get you to stay in the loop with this deal then they'll take apart the club SON by SON."

Marcus sighed running his hands through his hair; he was quiet for a long time. He reached across the table taking Kayla's hand, "I can't do it chica. I'm getting out, Martinez is taking over in six months and one thing my guys want to go strictly home brewed 'H' they don't want to be involved with this shit anymore. Honestly I'm not even running shit really any more. If you're boys were smart they would do the same thing, get the fuck away from Galindo, find someone else to take over. You know I'd do anything for you."

Kayla wiped a tear from her cheek, squeezing his hand, giving him a small smile, "I know. I really do know you would. I had to try, their my family."

Marcus nodded, "I know chica, but maybe your family isn't what you need anymore. Maybe you need to take Hap and the kids and get the fuck away from Charming, let Jax sort this shit out. With Gemma gone they'll hit at you, to make the club bend to their will. They're scary men chica, really scary doesn't even cover it. Stay the fuck away from this."

Kayla sighed, she realized how fucked she was. She had no 'in' with the Mayans now and no way to tell Happy she asked. She knew then she would have to have a little heart to heart with her brother and she knew this wasn't going to end good.

**Ok, what do you think? I'm super excited for the ending….it will be sad….like really sad in some parts and there will be deaths, because it's SOA. Well do your thing! Hope you are having a kick ass day! Kaye**


	31. The Rat in the Crow House

Chapter 31….A Rat in the Crow House

**Thank you guys soooo much! I'm sorry I scared you with the hint of upcoming deaths. There will be two and one of them will come from left field. I have this planned to the end. Lots going on this chapter, so get ready!**

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla drove from Alaverez's house straight to Teller-Morrow. She needed to talk to her brother before anything else happened, then she would deal with Hap. She pulled onto the lot noticing Juice standing outside the garage smoking, he looked nervous, but she shook it off. Great now I'm getting fucking paranoid. She walked toward the clubhouse and smiled at Bobby who was standing behind the bar drinking coffee, "Hey Elvis, where's my brother?"

Bobby kissed her forehead and motioned to the back, "In his dorm working on some shit. How's my favorite niece and nephew?"

Kayla laughed, "They're perfect, busy but perfect."

When Kayla got to Jax's dorm she leaned on the door jamb watching her brother as he went through a stack of papers, she knocked on the door letting him know she was there. Jax turned around and nodded to her, "Hey sis."

Kayla walked toward him, "You have a minute?"

Jax sighed leaning back in his chair, "Not really but for you what the hell." He motioned to an empty chair and Kayla sat down her hands fidgeting in her lap.

She swallowed hard, "I went to see Alaverez, against Hap's orders, but I knew you needed me too."

Jax smiled at her, reaching forward to grab her hand, "Thanks sis, I'm sorry I put you in that shit and I know that Hap's gonna go ape shit, but it was for the club."

Kayla sighed, "Well it was for nothing. Marcus is stepping down Jax; Martinez is running the show there now. I don't have any way to help, I'm so sorry. Marcus told me to tell you, to get the guys the hell away from the cartel before it's too late."

Jax sighed leaning back looking at his sister, "Thanks for trying."

Kayla nodded, "I'll tell Hap tonight what I did, that should give you time to figure out what you're going to do. I know I don't need to say this, but you know this cartel shit will only destroy REDWOOD, if not the whole club."

Jax tensed, "Yeah I know. Don't worry I'll figure something out."

Kayla nodded, "If you need any help just let me know."

Before Jax could say anything Sheriff Roosevelt appeared in the doorway, "Well, well, well, the Teller siblings. Now why don't you two come with me and join the rest of the criminals in the front room."

Jax stood up putting himself between Kayla and the Sheriff, "What the hell is this?"

Roosevelt laughed, "Got a tip that there was illegal weapons here. We just need to have a look see around."

Jax just shook his head, he couldn't believe this shit, he was walking behind Kayla when two overzealous deputies started pushing the two of them down the hall toward the bar. Kayla saw Happy and her father on the floor by the pool table. Happy looked like he wanted to kill someone when he saw her there, great two things for him to be pissed about.

Before she had another thought the deputy pushed her down hard, "ON YOUR STOMACH, biker whore." Kayla hadn't been ready for him to be so rough and her head hit the side of one of the tables. Pain exploded on the left hand side of her head.

Happy growled coming off the floor, the deputies drew their guns, "ON THE FLOOR!"

Roosevelt came into the bar, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? LOWMAN?"

Happy nodded to Kayla who had a small trickle of blood running down her face, "You're fucking deputy thinks he can lay his god damn hands on my wife! Look at that shit, she's fucking bleeding!"

Roosevelt let out a deep breath, pulling Kayla up and helping her to a chair, he tilted her head back, "I'm sorry Kayla, looks like you'll need at least a stitch or two." Roosevelt knelt down in front of her, giving her a small smile, "I'm gonna let your husband take ya to the hospital to have that looked at."

Roosevelt stood up and approached his deputy, "DID YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON MRS. LOWMAN?"

The deputy turned pale, "I didn't mean to push her so hard….." Before the man could say another word, the sheriff decked the man.

Happy smirked when he saw the stupid asshole go down, he would be paying the asshole a visit too, but seeing him hit the ground hard on his ass with blood dripping from his mouth was enough for NOW. Roosevelt towered over the man pissed at the unneeded violence toward Kayla and the lack of weapons that Juice said were there, "You lay another damn hand on a woman and you'll be out of a job asshole! Lowman get her out of here, but make sure you stay in town."

Happy nodded walking over he grabbed Kayla's arm and drug her out of the clubhouse. He saw Lynn standing by the garage, cops were tearing apart the garage too, "LYNN!" The young woman snapped her eyes up to him, "Take Kayla to the hospital have her stitched up."

Kayla put a hand on his chest, "Hap?"

Happy shook his head, he was ready to blow and he knew he just needed her the fuck away from him. He had told her to stay clear of the clubhouse. Jax had figured out a few days before that they had a rat feeding information to the cops. He had pulled Happy, Chibs, and Tig into church and told them to start feeding information to different guys trying to figure out who it was. Each of the other members were to be feed different information, that way they would be sure who it was. Happy had told Juice that they were going to store a shipment of weapons in the hidey hole in the weight room and now the cops were here looking for guns. He knew the president was going to ask for Juice's head and he knew it would fall on his shoulders to do it. "Not now La, get the fuck out of here. I'll be home when I can."

Kayla nodded blood still dripping down her face, he saw the tears in her eyes and he sighed, giving her a quick kiss on the head, "We'll talk later Kayla, just go with Lynn."

Kayla nodded, letting Lynn lead her toward her car, Kayla knew something was really wrong, he never used her full name unless shit was bad.

**-Hard to Love-**

Jax Teller sat at the Redwood table in disbelief; Happy had just downloaded Tig, Chibs, and himself about what he told Juice. This was insane, Juice had always been a loyal guy to the SONS, they were his brothers, his family.

Chibs looked sick, "Jacky-boy, he's a good kid. Are we sure it was him, maybe the rat overheard Hap and him talkin'."

Happy shook his head, "No man, I made sure there was NO ONE else around."

Chibs sighed, "He's my son-in-law, the father to my grandson. He had to have a good reason."

Tig leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table, "Jax he's got a kid, hell Lynn grew the fuck up here. We can't do this to her. Give him the same deal that we gave Kyle, excommunicate his ass."

Jax huffed, pushing up from the table, "I need to think, don't say shit to anyone, but keep your fucking eyes on him. We don't need him telling anymore shit about this club to the ATF or the cops." Jax stormed out of the room, leaving the three men to sit there.

Tig looked at Hap, "This shit is bad."

Chibs looked up from red rimmed eyes, "Aye brother, it is."

**-Hard to Love-**

Juice stood watching his wife as she kissed their son goodnight. His heart was heavy, too much shit in his head. Lynn looked up at him and smiled, "Well when did you get home?"

Juan Carols, Jr sat up and smiled that big ass goofy Ortiz smile at his father, "DADDY!"

Juice walked over and kissed his son, a tear running down his face. He pulled away and Lynn felt cold hard fear run through her body. Juice stroked his son's cheek, "You waitin' up for me little dude?"

The now six year old boy nodded his head, "Yup! Momma said that I needed to go to sleep but I just knew you'd make it home to kiss me good night."

Juice nodded, tucking the blanket around his son, "You bet. Now to bed with you. Love you dude."

Juan Carlos laughed as he snuggled down into his bed, "Night momma, night daddy."

When Lynn walked into the living room and sat down she sighed, "What's going on?"

Juice sat down on the coffee table in front of her, taking his wife's hands, "I fucked up bad Lynnie. It's real fucking bad." He started to sob. Lynn pulled her husband into her arms and held him, not sure what the hell she should do. Whatever was going on was going to either tear her family apart or make them stronger.

**-Hard to Love-**

Quinn had ridden as hard as he could. The news from the doctor hadn't been promising. The cancer had spread to Karla's lymph nodes; they wanted to do a round of chemo before the surgery. He watched his hard as nails wife crumble when they told their three daughters. After he was sure she was asleep he hit the road needing to clear his head. When he finally stopped he pulled out his phone calling the one person who had always supported his marriage, Kayla.

"Hello, is this my other husband?"

Quinn laughed, "Yeah, how'd you know?"

Kayla snickered, "What did you do?"

Quinn paced by his bike, "What do you mean? Can't it be her that is in the wrong?"

"No! Your wife is a saint for dealing with a fucking NOMAD for ten years."

Quinn nodded, tears welling up in his eyes, "Yeah, she is. Kayla, she's real sick."

"What? What do you mean she's real sick? Is this way Koz and Simone took off this week? What's wrong with her? Do you need me to come? Are you alright?"

Quinn wiped at his eyes, "It's cancer, it's bad. Koz and Simone are here they came to help us tell the kids." Quinn knelt down, "I'm so fucking scared, I can't lose her. FUCK, Anna isn't out of school yet, she needs her mom. I need her, this wasn't the deal Kayla, she was supposed to be here with me forever."

Kayla listened as her friend broke apart on the other end of the phone, tears fell from her eyes, "She'll be with you, she's tough. She can beat this Rane; you have to be strong for her and the girls."

Quinn nodded, standing up, "I know. I just love her damn much."

Kayla sighed, "I know you do, I know you do."

**-Hard to Love-**

When Happy walked into the house he could hear her in the kitchen. It was late so he wasn't sure why she was still up. When he walked in he saw her sitting there with a bottle of Jack in front of her a cigarette in her hand. He walked over and took the bottle, noticing that the seal hadn't been broken yet. Kayla had tears in her eyes, "I wasn't going too. Sometimes it just helps to focus on something else. I wasn't going to drink it, but I really wanted to."

Happy sighed taking the bottle and putting it back in the cabinet. He walked over and sat next to his wife, "What the fuck is going on, La? I need you to be strong right now, shits going nuts around here right now and I can't be worrying about you."

Kayla nodded, wiping at her tears, "It's Karla. Rane called, Happy she has cancer. She's one of the first women in the club to be my friend. She's been through everything with me, what am I gonna do without her? What if she doesn't make it?"

Happy pulled her into his lap, kissing her cheeks as she sob, "Fuck, La. I'm so fucking sorry baby girl. She's tough baby, just relax." He sat there and rocked her in his arms until she settled down. When the crying got softer, he moved her back to her chair and got her a bottle of water.

He watched her as she shook taking a sip of the water, this day couldn't get more fucked up if it tried, "What were you doing at the clubhouse today?"

Kayla sighed, "If you're gonna be pissed then can you save it for tomorrow, because my head is still killing me and I just found out one of my best friends might be dying and honestly I'm kind of wallowing in self pity right now."

Happy sighed leaning back against his chair, "What the fuck did you do?"

Kayla took a deep breath, "I went to Alaverez."

Happy stood up knocking his chair over, "FUCKING HELL KAYLA! I fucking told you stay out of this shit."

Kayla stood up, tears filling her eyes again, " I know! I KNOW! But I had to try! It was all for nothing, Marcus is stepping down; he's nothing more than a figure head right now, while Martinez makes the transition. I went to him and Carmen's house, there was no danger and I didn't take the kids."

Happy glared at her, "What if you were followed? You don't know these people Kayla. They don't give a shit, they will hurt you, hurt the kids."

Kayla sighed sitting down hard, toying with the water bottle in her hands, "If they did follow me at least they'll know I tried to get Marcus to help. They can't say I didn't try." Kayla stood up, Happy honestly didn't remember in his life ever seeing her so exhausted. "I'm going to take a shower; I need to clear my head."

Happy got the Jack back out of the cabinet and stood there taking large gulps out of it, this day had been pure shit. Jax had called church in the morning and Happy knew orders were going to come down that weren't going to make anyone happy, least of all him. Maybe having a wife and kids was making his ass soft. He wasn't worried about himself when it came to Galindo; he was terrified of what could happen to his family. But the thing with Juice was really weighing on him; he cared about the stupid retard. Happy felt old as he stomped up the stairs, he stopped in his kids room, smiling at the two of them cuddled up together in the same bed. No matter how many times Kayla moved them back into their own beds the two always ended up together. He walked over kissing Nora and then Vic.

When he got into their room, he took off his rings and then his weapons. Stripping from his clothes he walked into the steam filled shower. He could hear her soft sobs coming from the shower; he slipped in behind her and pulled her to his chest holding her. He closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of her in his arms, safe and for the time being that was enough.

**-Hard to Love-**

Lynn sat in stunned silence as Juice told her everything; he told her that Roosevelt and Lincoln Potter had approached him, telling him if he didn't give them information on the club then she would go to prison. They had told them that there was enough evidence without the witness to put her and Kayla away for a really long time. Lynn looked up into her husband's eyes, "Why didn't they do the same to Happy then?"

Juice looked at their hands that were entwined, "I don't know. They probably did, but Hap probably told them to fuck off." Juice let out a nervous laugh, "You know him, he's hardcore, he probably figured he'd get Kayla out of here if that was going to happen. I'm weak, I've always been weak and you and Juan Carlos are all I have."

Lynn let a sob escape her throat, "What are we going to do? They'll kill you!"

Juice looked up into his wife's eyes, his face set in granite, "We have to run. I don't think they know anything yet. It will take a few days to get things together, but when the times comes we'll run. I need to get us new passports and ids and I have money saved for us to live on. If you'll come with me."

Lynn nodded falling to her knees, she wrapped her arms around Juice's waist, "I'd go anywhere with you. You know that and you're not weak, you just love your family more than that fucking club."

Juice took a deep breath hugging his wife close to him, she was going with him and for now that was enough.

**-Hard to Love-**

Juice was working in the garage the next day, half paying attention as he worked on the engine of the mustang in front of him. Tig had been keeping close to him all day, not giving the kid too much room to breathe. He felt like shit, he was pissed at the kid, he felt like the only answer for a rat was to kill the bastard, but he had always had a soft spot for Lynn. With Lynn in the mix he couldn't let Jax kill the little dumbass. Juice looked up at him and saw Tig studying him again, "Everything alright Tig?"

Tig nodded, looking around the garage, "Yeah, just was thinking. Hey how's the kid and Lynn, haven't seen them around lately."

Juice gave him a weak smile, Tig could tell the kid was scared, "They're great. Juan Carlos got two runs last night at his baseball game. Kid fucking loves baseball."

Tig nodded, looking at Juice, his eyes hard, "You know I'd never let anything happen to either one of them right?"

Juice nodded, he knew this was Tig's way of telling him they knew and that sent chills down his spine, "Yeah I know. You've always been there for Lynn."

Tig nodded, turning he walked away heading toward the clubhouse, he need a fucking drink and maybe a warm wet pussy to drown his sorrows in.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy was in his garage working on his bike when he heard Jax pull up. Hap had taken the day off to stay with the kids; Kayla had left earlier that morning to head to Tacoma. She wanted to be with Karla for her first treatment, so he was stuck on kid duty. He had laid the kids down for a nap and decided to work on his bike hoping to clear his mind. He had no idea how things were going to work out with all the shit hanging around them.

Jax nodded to his brother-in-law walking toward him, he leaned on his work bench, "I need you to do something for the club."

Happy nodded, his face hard, "Ain't take the kid down until the club calls for it."

Jax crossed his arms, "I know, this isn't about him. I think I have a solution to our Mayan/Cartel problem. If Martinez dies then Alaverez will be forced to stay in power, that way we can get him to stay on board with all this shit. We make it look like the cartel did it as a warning. I already talked to Romeo and he agreed it might be the only way."

Happy nodded, "Kayla is gone to Tacoma, I can have Tig watch the kids while I'm gone. It'll be perfect."

Jax clapped him on the back, "I knew I could count on you."

**Soooo much going on and none of it is good! Holy shit this chapter was rough to write, I guess it's because I know what's coming at the end. I hope you all don't hate me too much. This one might not end happy, but I promise that the squeal will. UGH…wish I could just write it all at once so you knew where this was going. Ok, do your thing! HUGS! Kaye**


	32. Shattered Lives

Chapter 32…..Shattered Lives

**This is my second update today! So make sure you read Chapter 31 before you read this one!**

**Well this is the big chapter! Holy shit I hope you all don't kill me after this one. Please remember that this is just fan fic, it's for fun while we wait for our shows to kick back into new seasons. This chapter will maybe rip your heart out. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…..IT'S REALLY, REALLY SAD. And it's really long, but I didn't want to break it up. Both deaths are in this chapter and so far no one has guessed who is getting killed.**

**Ok, here we go….on our way toward the end of this one. The new story will be 'The Sun Will Rise', it was the song that Kayla use to sing with Gemma when she was young. **

**I don't own SOA, but I do own Kayla and Lynn and Karla and I love them all! Though if I did own SOA David Labarva wouldn't be allowed to wear a shirt on screen, LIKE EVER.**

**TISSUES at the ready…hang on it's gonna get bumpy from here on out.**

**-Hard to Love-**

Two days after Jax stopped at Happy's house to order the hit on the new Mayan president, Martinez, he was standing outside the man's house waiting for his wife and daughters to leave. He had left the night Jax asked to carry out the hit. Kayla was still in Tacoma with Karla and Quinn, so Tig was playing grandpa and babysitter, until Kayla got home with the help of Lynn.

Happy watched as Martinez's wife loaded up their girls for dance class. This was a nightly routine; the dumb prick didn't even know to change things up. Once the car was out of sight, Happy slipped around the side of the house and made his way through the house. He had already been inside twice to check out the layout and make sure there were no security systems, this guy really was a dumb ass. Happy heard the shower going in the master bedroom and he knew he had his chance. He walked slowly inside the bathroom, pulling back the shower curtain he put two bullets into Roberto Martinez's head, the man was just another smiley face tattoo to add to his collection.

Happy made sure to quietly slip back out of the house, figuring it was just another clean hit. What he didn't know was the oldest Martinez girl had stayed home sick from dance class. The thirteen year old girl had seen Happy slip into her parent's room, when she heard the two gunshots she hid herself sobbing in her closet. She opened her cell phone and called the one person she knew could help her, her uncle Marcus.

Marcus Alaverez hung up the phone from talking to his niece and he gritted his teeth, his nephew was dead and the description that his great niece had given him sounded a lot like Happy Lowman. There was nothing Marcus could do to protect Happy, but he would try to protect Kayla and her children.

**-Hard to Love-**

Jax looked around the table; he had called church after he sent Juice on a bullshit errand to Lodi. Jax leaned back looking at the faces of the men he called brothers. He nodded to Happy at the end of the table, "That little matter I asked you to take care of done?"

Happy smirked and nodded, "Yup, clean. It was perfect."

Jax nodded knowing his enforcer was if nothing, careful about his work. Jax blew out a breath, "Well I asked you here because we have a rat." There was a murmur through the room, which Jax held up his hand, "We know who it is."

Bobby looked at him with his eyebrows raised, "Who the fuck would rat on us? We're a good crew, we're brothers."

Chibs looked down at his fists that were balled up in front of him, "It's the boy. It's Juice."

The table erupted everyone talking over the other. Finally Jax slammed his hand on the table, "ENOUGH! That little visit we had out at the warehouse two weeks ago tipped us off. We started feeding bad info to some of you to weed out the rat. When Roosevelt came in here the other day it was because we told Juice we were hiding a shipment of guns here."

Koz shook his head, "No fucking way. Maybe someone overheard the kid, it can't be him damnit! He has a kid, fuck he's married to Lynn for god sakes why would he do this?"

Jax sighed, "From what we have gathered through Unser poking around the sheriff station, Lincoln Potter the assistants attorney general came to him and told him if he talked they would make the evidence against Lynn for the murder of Wendy go away. They offered the same deal to Hap, but he told them to fuck themselves and told me. Juice never did."

Koz leaned back in his chair, "FUCK."

Bobby looked around the room, "Well what do you want us to do? A rat is a rat."

Jax nodded, "I'm calling a vote who wants Juice stripped of his kutte." The vote was all in favor. Jax took a deep breath, "Who wants Juice to meet Mr. Mayhem?"

Chibs shook his head, "I know that's what you want brother. I understand your pissed, hell I'm pissed too, but I just can't fucking do it. I love the boy and more importantly I love my fucking daughter and grandson. I'm a Nah."

Happy nodded his head, "Nah."

Tig nodded, "Nah."

Koz sighed, "You can't kill him man, he's got a fucking family. If we gave that bastard Kyle the chance to get out of town then we need to give this to Juice. Nah."

Jax was pissed, he had hoped that at least one of them would vote with him, but all the others voted no. Before Jax could say anything else Rat came busting into the room, "Jax you told Vin to call in if there was any movement at Juice's house, well Vin said Juice is loading up the SUV in the garage."

Jax slammed his fist into the table, "We ride, he's not getting off that fucking easy. Come on."

The boys rode hard toward the Ortiz house, parking down the street. Happy and Tig took the back door, Chibs, Koz, Vin, and Phil took the front. Jax, Bobby, and Chibs walked up to the garage, Chibs entered the code and the door came up. Juice standing there staring at them.

Jax walked over and leaned against the SUV, "Where you going Juice?"

Juice swallowed hard, "Listen, just let me say good bye to Lynn and Juan Carlos and then I'll go with you. They had nothing to do with this."

Jax smirked as he buried his fist into the man's stomach. Juice went down hard grabbing his stomach. Jax was raging; he paced back and forth, "WHY? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS? Answer me you piece of shit!"

Juice looked up at him, tears in his eyes, "I was trying to protect my old lady, I understand what you need to do."

Chibs shook his head, "Boy, we ain't killin' ya. But you have to pay for what ya did, that shite don't go unanswered for. Let him talk to my daughter."

Lynn had been packing up snacks for the road, her heart beating in her chest. When Juice had gotten home earlier he was a mess, Roosevelt had told him that Unser had gotten some information from one of his deputies and he was afraid for Juice and his family. His only thought was they needed to run, Canada would be fairly safe. So Lynn and Juice had worked their asses off packing what they could. The plan was to pick up Juan Carlos from school and just drive off into the sunset together. But that's not what happened.

Lynn had looked up as Happy and Tig came into the kitchen using her patio door. She shook her head backing up, "No, please. Please don't…." She turned to run and ran right into Koz's chest.

Koz grabbed her arm, not saying anything he drug her into the living room and sat her down hard on the couch. She could hear Jax screaming and beating her husband in the garage. She put her head in her hands pulling at her hair, trying to block out the sounds of the hits she knew were connecting with her husband's body.

What felt like hours later, but was probably just a few minutes, Jax drug Juice into the house pushing him down in front of Lynn. She wrapped her arms around her husband, crying. Juice rose up a battered hand to his wife's face, "It's alright Lynnie. I promise, they just want to end this. I'll be home soon. I have to be stripped of my colors and then we can leave."

Lynn stared at her husband's beautiful loving brown eyes, "Baby, no. You can't go with them."

Chibs sighed, "We ain't gonna kill him."

Lynn glared at her father, "You don't get to talk to me EVER!" Lynn kissed her husband with everything she had, "I love you so much baby! I'll never love anyone like I love you."

Juice nodded tears welling in his eyes; he pulled her in and kissed her again. When he pulled away he memorized her face afraid that it might be the last time he saw her, he ran a thumb across her cheek catching her tears, "When I get back we can go where ever you want. We could go to New Orleans and live you like it there."

Lynn nodded resting her forehead against his, "Yeah." Jax motioned to Happy and Tig, they started pulling the two apart, "NO! Don't take him, take me. I'll go instead of him. Please. Please Tig, Happy….someone don't do this."

Tig felt like his insides were being ripped apart, he couldn't even look her in the eye. Happy just kept seeing Kayla in this situation, even harden killer had to look away.

Jax motioned to Vin and Phil, "You two will drive him to the clubhouse. I'll drive with him, just encase he gets brave and tries to make a run for it. Koz, Hap, Tig you stay here with her and make sure the kid gets picked up from school." Jax knelt down in front of Lynn, "You can either go with him or you can stay and the club will take care of you. You could pick a new old man; raise your boy here with his family."

Lynn glared at Jax; there was no trace of the boy she had grown up with. She took a deep breath and spit right in his face. Jax wiped his face off and stood up, he stood there a second but then he lunged for her, Tig getting in his way pushing him away, "WE DON'T HURT WOMEN." Tig held him against the wall his arm on Jax's throat. Jax took a few breaths and nodded, Tig released him.

Once they had left, Lynn curled up on the couch and cried, her life was being ripped apart. No matter what happened after this night Charming and the people in it meant nothing to her.

**-Hard to Love-**

Jax had Vin and Phil chain Juice up on one of the car lifts. By the time they were done, the new NOMAD president Ram and his guys had rolled in to give a hand with the cartel business. When Jax downloaded them on what had happened, Ram volunteered to be the one to burn the colors off of Juice. Bobby made sure the lot was cleared and he now stood watching the scene in front of him, this club was so broken it was fucking crazy.

Jax stepped up to a semi conscious Juice, he had been worked over pretty good by the NOMADS and Jax. Even Phil and Vin got in a few hits, trying to prove themselves to their president. Chibs stood back with his sun glasses on he had lost a big part of his family today and he didn't want to watch this, but he had to make sure Jax stuck to his word and took the boy home to his daughter.

Jax slapped Juice's face, "Any thing you want to say before we do this? Because after this you and YOUR family are dead to SAMCRO."

Juice swallowed hard, he wasn't sure if it was from the beating, but he was having trouble breathing and his heart felt funny in his chest, he spoke blood running down his quivering chin, "I loved this club and I'm sorry for what I did. But I loved my wife more than this club. I forgive you all for this; I knew what I was doing."

Ram fired up the blow torch and started burning away the reaper on Juice's forearm. Chibs looked away as his son-in-law thrashed around in his chains. Bobby gagged a little at the smell of burning flesh. Jax stared at Juice, his face set in stone, though in his heart he was regretting what they were doing.

Juice kept his mind on Lynn and Juan Carlos, his heart started beating faster in his chest and he knew something was wrong. His last thought as he slipped away was of his beautiful Lynn, he hoped she would be happy some day.

Ram watched as the man's body slumped, he knew something was wrong. He stepped forward and put his finger on his neck checking for a pulse. Chibs walked over, feeling his heart ripped out of his chest, he slapped Juice's face, "Juicy! BOY!"

Ram shook his head and turned off the blow torch. Jax's eyes went wide, "NO! Fucking NO!" He kicked the tool box next to him sending it flying. The garage was silent but for the sobbing of Chibs, who was now cradling the body of the man who had became a son to him.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy snapped his phone shut; he couldn't believe they had accidentally killed him. He felt sick; he had just gone and picked up Juan Carlos bringing him home to his mother who was in a state of shock already. Happy walked back into the house motioning to Tig who had been keeping silent watch over the young woman who was now an MC Widow. Tig nodded to Koz making sure the man would stay with them.

Once outside Happy lit a cigarette, Tig watching the usually hard killer's face twitch with a hint of emotion, "That was Bobby. Something went wrong. They think he had a fucking heart attack. Kid's dead."

Tig stumbled sitting down on a patio chair, his hands racking over his face, "FUCK. How the fuck did this happen? We fucking voted! Jax and his god damn temper!"

Happy nodded, "You want me to tell her?"

Tig took a few deep breaths, "No, I'll tell her."

Happy nodded, "Kat and the boys know they're on their way here to take over. We need to get to the clubhouse. Skeeter is already on his way to take the body away. Shit Tig what the fuck is happening to us?"

Tig shook his head standing up, "I don't know man, but I'll tell you this, if it would've been you I never would've let them take you."

Happy nodded, his face set in stone, "Problem is, you'd never have to be in that position, I wouldn't rat."

Silently the two men walked back into the house. Lynn looked up at Tig as he made his way toward her, she shook her head, "You promised. Tig you promised me."

Tig knelt down in front of her, Koz taking Juan Carlos out of the room. Tig watched as Lynn came undone in front of him, he grabbed her face, making her look at him, "They didn't mean to, they think he's heart stopped. I'm really fucking sorry sweetheart. We were going to let you go."

Lynn screamed, pounding on his chest, "NO!" Tig held her as she thrashed all around, "JUICE, no! I want Juice I want to see him! I want him."

Tig stroked her hair, tears falling from his eyes, "I know doll, I fucking know."

A few minutes later Tara and Kat arrived. Tig held Lynn as Tara gave her a sedative. Kat crying as she told Juan Carlos that his daddy had an accident and had gone to heaven.

Happy, Tig, and Koz were heading to their bikes, their bodies exhausted from the shit of the day. Koz felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out seeing it was Simone. He sighed, "Hey."

Simone was sobbing, "YOU HAVE TO COME. IT'S SO BAD KOZ. Kayla…..you have to come!"

Koz looked over at Tig and Happy, "Where are you baby?"

Simone choked on a sob, "At Kayla's….the cops…she won't…..You have to come."

Koz slammed his phone shut, but Happy was already on his way toward his house, fear chasing him as he pushed the limits of his Dyna.

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla had been happy when Simone came over to keep her company with little baby Nicole. The baby was playing on a blanket in the front yard while Nora and Vic ran around chasing after a butterfly they had found. They would normally play in the back yard, but Happy had the prospects putting in a hot tub and pool, so the whole back yard was ripped apart.

Simone laughed as baby Nicole let out a little squeal of frustration, "She wants to turn over so bad."

Kayla laughed too as Simone picked up the baby, whose face was bright red, "She's like her father thinking too hard about it."

Nora ran over her face fixed in a very Happy looking glare, "Vic won't let me use the net mommy."

Kayla sighed, "I knew I should've gotten you two bug nets at the store." Just as she started to stand up to chase down her almost four year old son to get the said bug net, shots rang out. Kayla dived on top of her daughter, her eyes frantically scanning the yard for her son. The car was already moving away from them.

Kayla got up her head shaking, "NO, NO….NOOOOO!" She ran toward Vic's motionless body, when she turned him over there was a gunshot wound in the front of his little SAMCRO shirt. There was blood everywhere, she rocked him back and forth, slapping gently at his face, "Come on little man, don't do this to mommy."

She laid him down; Simone was now at her side, after having shoved Nora and the baby inside the house. They started CPR trying to well her son to breath. An ambulance appeared; Simone gently helped Kayla up, as the paramedics tried to bring him back. After shocking him several times, the paramedic looked up at Kayla with pity in his eyes.

Kayla crumbled pushing the two men away, grabbing her baby boy to her chest. An animal-like scream ripped from her lungs, she had just lost her first born son to a bullet.

Simone watched in horror as Roosevelt knelt down in front of Kayla, "Kayla honey we need to take him. There's nothing you can do for him now. I need you to give him over, we need to take now."

Kayla just kept rocking, placing soft kisses on her son's head. The sound of bikes made Simone look up, Tig, Koz and Happy ran toward them. Happy put his hands on his head, shaking his head at the scene in front of him. "NO! Somebody fucking help him!"

Roosevelt looked at Tig knowing that Happy was going to lose his shit, "They worked on him for an hour, he's gone."

Happy charged Roosevelt knocking the man onto the ground. His mind was blank but for blind rage. He had shut down, his son was dead and there was nothing he could do to bring him back. Three deputies and Kozic pulled Happy off the sheriff; Roosevelt shook his head at his men. He knew the father's grief and he knew that once he spoke he would draw Lowman on him and not his wife or the others.

Happy shook as he sat on the ground, not far from his wife who was in some kind of catatonic trance. Her hand ghosting over her son's face. Happy pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face. Koz knelt down next to him, his hand on his brother's back. Happy hardly noticed when the others arrived, Jax sitting down next to Happy pulling his brother into his shoulder, shocked by the hot tears he could feel coming from the killer's eyes.

Tig was destroyed; he knelt down in front of his daughter, his voice cracking, "Peanut….little girl. I need you to let these men take him now sweetie. You can't hold him like this forever. Nora's inside and she's real scared she needs her momma."

Kayla looked up into her father's blue eyes, "I tried to get to him, they just started shooting."

Happy growled from behind her, ripping himself from Jax and Koz, he towered over her, "YOU STUPID BITCH! WHY WERE YOU OUTSIDE? WHY? YOU COULDN'T EVEN PROTECT MY SON!"

Kayla crumbled, Tig taking his grandson from her arms and handing him over to the paramedic that was waiting. Tig grabbed her, not even letting his attention turn to Happy, the motherfucker just needed to get the fuck away from his daughter. Tig held her as she screamed, his heart breaking a little bit more with each gut wrenching sob. They had lost Victor and Tig knew his daughter would never be the same.

Tig felt Simone next to him, tears were falling from her eyes, "The paramedics can give her something so we can get her inside." Tig nodded, gripping his daughter harder as he watched the paramedic sedate her. He knew right then after holding two women that had lost so much from this club in one day he wasn't going to let either one of them stay in Charming. Charming was poison.

**Ok, I know I'm a bitch. I cried like a baby writing both scenes. I told you this would be hard, really hard. Happy is going off into his own personal hell inside his head. Kayla will have Tig holding her up and Lynn will too.**

**I wasn't sure if I wanted to do both in one update but I thought it would be like ripping off a band aid. There is still a lot more to come in the last two chapters. I know I'm leaving both Lynn and Kayla and Happy totally wrecked but that's why the next one will be much better. It will be about all of them finding happiness and themselves.**

**I love Juice so that you all know and was OVERJOYED, when they didn't kill him on the show, but I had to do this. I had the idea a few months ago and it was too good not to do it. I promise I will give Lynn a very happy ending in the next story.**

**I hated killing a child and I kind of went over it fast so that you didn't have to suffer anymore, but I needed something to break Happy and Kayla. But I promise they will have their happy ending too.**

**Ok, off to hide under my rock. Please don't hate me too. I'm a mess too, Kaye**


	33. Goodbye is the Hardest

Chapter 33….Goodbye is the Hardest

**Wow! Thank you guys so much for your support for this one! I'm peeking out from under my rock and I hope to leave this one on a halfway hopeful note. This chapter will deal with the loss that Lynn and Kayla are facing. The next chapter will be the last one that leads into the new story. **

**Well here we go….Hang on tight. Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

Chibs sighed staring at his daughter's sleeping form. Tara had left, leaving him an extra sedative if he needed it for her. When she had woke up from the first injection, Lynn had grabbed one of Juice's tee shirts and put it on lying down on their bed. Juan Carlos crawled in next to her, the two talking quietly to each other. Lynn hadn't talked to anyone but Juan Carlos and her two brothers. Kat had said she won't even look at her. Chibs knew his daughter was broken and he had no fucking idea what to do. Things were so far gone for the Redwood charter that Chibs wasn't sure they would ever recover. While he was at the funeral home with Juice's body, Koz had called and told him about Vic. The little boy's death was just the last straw to break the men that sat at the Redwood table. Chibs walked over to his daughter and silently bent down kissing her still wet cheek, "I love ya little hen, I love ya."

Lynn didn't stir, so Chibs sunk down in a chair in the corner of the room and did something he hadn't done in years, he prayed. He prayed to God to forgive him for his part in Juice's death and he prayed that his daughter would one day forgive him.

The next morning when Lynn woke up, she felt the familiar pain shot through her. She took a ragged breath hugging her still sleeping son to her, he was all she had left in the world, and he would forever be her connection to Juice. Sitting up she saw her father sleeping quietly in the corner chair. Anger flared at him, he was there when her husband, the only person that loved her unconditionally had died. Lynn pulled herself from the bed and took her cell phone from the nightstand. She walked into the living room and saw Phil and Rat sound asleep on her couch. She heard her mother in the kitchen with the boys already making breakfast. Lynn walked through the kitchen and out onto the back patio. Her first call was to the funeral home. She let Skeeter know she didn't want a service, just his body cremated. Skeeter had told her that was fine, but the club had already made arrangements for a full SON funeral for Juice. Lynn told him that Juice wasn't a SON when he died and that as his wife her wishes were to stand. Skeeter finally agreed.

Her next call was to the only person who had her back. Tig had been lying with his daughter and granddaughter when her phone went off. When he looked and saw it was Lynn he picked up the phone, "Hey Lynn."

Lynn was shocked to hear the pain in his voice, "Hey Tig, sorry to bother you but I really need Kayla right now."

Tig ran a tired hand over his face, "Shit, no one told you."

Lynn swallowed hard, "No one told me what?"

Tig glanced back toward his daughter, "Victor was killed yesterday during a drive by shooting. Kayla is a real mess right now. How are you doing kid? You alright?"

Lynn gasped as tears ran down her face, "Oh Jesus, Tig I'm so fucking sorry."

Tig sighed, "Why don't you pack up a small bag and you and Juan Carlos come here. It's just me, Koz, and Quinn's family will be here today. Kayla has already threatened to kill anyone else that comes near the house."

Lynn put her hand on her chest, the pain too much, "Is she….how is she? Where is Hap? My God Tig how much more can we all take?"

Tig swallowed hard, "I don't know where Hap is. She's probably as good as you are, she's sleeping." He paused for a long time and Lynn worried maybe he hung up. "Just get your boy and get the hell over here. I don't trust SAMCRO to keep you or Kayla safe anymore."

Lynn heard the phone go dead. She sat holding the phone to her chest, sobbing hard. She heard her mother come out of the house, "Lynn, honey are you alright?"

Lynn didn't say anything she just got up and wiped her face with her hand and walked past her mother not even acknowledging her. When she got to her and Juice's room her father woke up and gave her an uneasy smile. Lynn didn't look at him, "Get out. I want to be alone with my son."

Lynn sat down on the bed next to her son stroking his hair smiling sadly at the little carbon copy of her husband. Chibs laid a hand on his daughter's shoulder; Lynn pulled away from his touch and continued to stare at her son. Chibs sighed and left the room, leaving her and Juan Carlos alone.

Once the door was closed, Lynn got up and started putting things into a bag. Right now she needed to be with the people that she knew had no part in her husband's death and the one person that knew what she was going through. By the time she packed up a bag for Juan Carlos the little boy was awake. Lynn helped him get dressed; they were standing in the bedroom staring at their bags, when Juan Carlos took her hand into his. He turned his big brown eyes up at her, "It's gonna be alright momma. Daddy taught me everything that I needed to know so I could take care of you when he was on a run. This is just like a really long run. I won't leave you." He smiled up at her and Lynn felt her heart ache, he was so little and now he felt he had to take care of her.

Lynn knelt down running her hand across his little tan cheek, "It's just you and me little dude."

**-Hard to Love-**

Koz had been with him all night. He followed him as he rode. It took him, Jax, and Bobby to get the killer away from the scene. Koz was worried about Kayla, but Tig said he wouldn't leave her side. The loss of a child was enough to push anyone to the brink. He watched as Happy pulled his bike into Teller-Morrow. Koz pulled into the line of bikes, exhaustion filling his body. He watched as Happy stormed toward the clubhouse. Koz followed watching as everyone gave Happy a wide birth, Hap grabbed a bottle of Jack from behind the bar and then he stalked toward the back. A few seconds later they heard the sound of a door being slammed.

Koz ran a tired hand over his face, watching as Jax walked toward him, "How's he doing?"

Koz shook his head, swallowing back bile in his throat, "How would you be man?" Koz walked over to the bar and grabbed a bottle of water. His head was pounding and for the first time in almost ten years he wanted a fix to help him clear away the bullshit in his head.

His head snapped up when the door to the clubhouse swung open, walking in the door was Quinn and Karla. Quinn went to the others while Karla walked over to him, her arms going around her brother. Koz grabbed her tightly pulling her close. Karla rubbed circles on his back, "I know, I'm here. I know little man, I got ya." And just like she had always been his big sister was there to help fight down the dark and scare away all the bad shit.

**-Hard to Love-**

Happy sat on his bed, tears streaming down his face. He took a long pull off the bottle of Jack staring at the picture in his hand. He traced his hand over his son's face, his mistake, that's what Jax had said earlier. He had missed one of Martinez's daughters being still at home. He had started a Mayan war, which had left his son dead. How could he look at her? How could he get the image of her cradling their dead son to her chest? He had failed her in so many ways, but this was the biggest failure. He had yelled at her, told her it was her fault. But he had promised to protect her, told her countless times that he would never let anything touch her or the kids. He had lied.

He looked up when the door opened and Quinn stepped in, the big man's arms crossing as he leaned against the closed door. Happy just kept his eyes focused on his son's face in the picture. Quinn sighed, "Just left your old lady. Her and Nora are a mess, don't you think you should head over there and check on them?"

Happy huffed, getting up and walking over to the dresser and pulling an envelope of money he kept there, he threw it to Quinn and sat back down on the bed, "Ain't going anywhere near there till this shit is done."

Quinn looked at the envelope and then Hap, "What the fuck is wrong with you? So you screwed up! They should've NEVER fucking went for a god damn kid! We don't touch family! It's a fucking unwritten rule!"

Happy just shook his head, "Yeah, but they did and my son is dead. I can't go back to her till the fucker that shot her is ten feet in the grave."

Quinn walked toward the bed, squaring his shoulders, his voice menacing, "If you do this…..if you push her away now….you'll never get her back."

Happy looked up at him, his face looked hollow and his eyes empty, "Then maybe I just never deserved her to begin with."

**-Hard to Love-**

Kayla woke slowly, her body feeling like lead, her arms were wrapped around Nora who was sucking her thumb and whimpering quietly in her sleep. Kayla stroked her daughter's hair, she knew she would never be able to fix the whole in her daughter's heart from losing her twin brother and that thought made her sick. Her head came up when she heard semi loud shouting from downstairs. Kayla eased from Nora and slipped onto the stairs where she could listen. Lynn had come earlier and the two women had slumped to the floor, sobbing in each other's arms over the losses they had both endured. But now she listened as her brother tried to convince the young widow to have a full SON funeral for her husband.

Jax sighed, his eyes tracking Tig who was pacing with his fists clenched behind Lynn, "Lynn, listen to reason, we owe this to you and to Juice! What he did was wrong, but we didn't mean for it to go down like this! Do it for your son, let him see how many of his father's brothers were affected by his death."

Lynn squared her shoulders, "NO. It will be family only."

Jax sighed running a hand over his face, "Listen, we'll take care of you and Juan Carlos."

Lynn let out a weak laugh, "No, you've done enough."

Tig stopped pacing and glared at Jax, "You need to go."

Jax scowled at him, but kept his focus on Lynn, "Come on, this is what's right Lynn. You have to give the brothers a chance to say goodbye to him."

Kayla couldn't take anymore; she made her presence known on the stairs. Jax turned and looked at his sister; she looked like the walking dead standing there. Jax started toward her, but Kayla held her hand up, "Lynn doesn't want a funeral and you will respect that. Juice didn't die a SON; he died a husband and a father. You have no say in what happens to him."

Jax sighed, putting his hands on his hips, "What do I tell the others? If I let out what happened with Juice and the cops she'll never be able to get help from any charter. Her and Juan Carlos will be unprotected."

Kayla smirked coming off the stairs standing toe to toe with her brother, "Then you don't say anything! You have your little pussy for free group put together a wake at the clubhouse for both Juice and Vic. You make up whatever story you want that fits your agenda, but that woman over there didn't do anything but take care of your ex-wife so that you could keep your son and for that YOU owe her. You will make sure that whatever clubhouse we land near they will open their arms to us and watch over us."

Jax's eyes went wide, "What the hell are you talking about 'us'?"

Kayla's smirk turned sinister, "I had a long talk with Alaverez earlier, he came here to tell him he was sorry. But he always said that Happy killed his nephew and the shooting was payback. They were supposed to kill me Jax, your SISTER, because of YOUR need to be in control. Why not your family? Why not your old lady? No they came here. Happy followed your orders, like a good little mindless soldier and my son is dead. So you know what that means?"

Jax shook his head to afraid to look her in the eye, "It means you WILL DO WHAT I SAY THIS TIME. You will leave Lynn and Juan Carlos alone. After you leave here tonight you won't open your mouth, you won't say shit to me or her. As far as I'm concerned you don't have a sister. The moment you came in here throwing around your weight sealed that fate. Tig is going NOMAD, going with Ram and his crew; we'll be leaving right after Vic's funeral. So do yourself a favor and stay out of my sight." Kayla turned going back up the stairs, she looked over her shoulder at him, "The SONS can come to my son's funeral, I want them all to see what not thinking through a situation gets them. I want my son's death to mean something. And tell my husband, if he isn't there then he shouldn't bother ever showing his face around me again either. I can take care of my own, even if it's just me and Nora now." Jax walked in silence as his sister walked back upstairs, the quiet click of her door shutting ripping through his heart worse than a bullet.

Tig walked over and opened the front door, motioning for him to leave. Jax hung his head walking toward the door, he stopped to look at Tig, tears in his eyes, "I didn't mean for this to happen."

Tig nodded looking past Jax, his voice breaking, "Not gonna bring back my grandson is it?"

Jax sighed in defeat and when he was standing on the porch he heard Tig behind him, "You tell Hap if he doesn't make this right, I'm afraid she will. I can't lose her too." Jax sighed as the door slammed behind him, there were a lot of things he could do but bringing back the dead wasn't one of them.

**-Hard to Love-**

In his drunken haze he remembered talking to Jax. Jax telling him that Tig was afraid that Kayla would go after the Mayans responsible for what happened to Victor. Now standing in front of his house the next morning he took a deep breath as Tig stepped out onto the porch. Tig nodded to him as he lit a cigarette, "Here to take care of your family?"

Happy's jaw was clenched tight, "Just here to get some shit for a run."

Tig let out a huff, "Yeah, figured as much. Tell me what you need I'll get it, no need to upset her or Nora. You know Nora your kid that's still alive?"

Happy closed the distance between him and Tig, his fists clenching at his side, "I fucking know who my kids are! What a few years being called Daddy and you think you know better than me?"

Tig chuckled, sitting down on the stairs. Hap walked toward the door, when he heard Tig behind him, "I won't leave her alone too long. Do what ya got to do, but if you wait too long someone else will be there. She's not the kind of girl that will go for a civilian so just keep in mind that it will be one of your brothers keeping her warm."

Happy didn't say anything he just pushed inside the house heading upstairs. He stopped in Nora and Vic's room first. His little girl was playing with Juan Carlos when he knelt down in front of her. Nora smiled up at him, throwing her arms around his neck, "DADDY!"

Happy hugged her close to him, "Hey baby you doing ok?"

Nora pulled away tears in her eyes, "I'm ok, daddy, mommy said that Vic went to be in heaven with Uncle Juice and Grandma Gemma. She said they were lonely so God needed Vic to be with them so they weren't so lonely." A small tear slipped from her eye.

Happy wiped it away his own eyes starting to water, "Yeah baby, he's having a great time. Hanging out waiting for us to get there someday."

Nora threw her arms around his neck tight, "I don't want to go yet daddy. I don't want you or mommy to go either."

Happy sighed sitting down on the little girl's bed, "I know baby girl. You, Me, Your mommy, we're gonna be around for awhile. We have too much shit to do here; God's not ready for us yet. You hear me?"

Nora nodded pulling back letting Happy's arms keep her in his lap, "Papa said we're going to Tacoma to be with Uncle Quinn. Are you coming with us?"

Happy sighed, giving his daughter a tired smile, "Not just yet princess. Daddy has shit to do here. But as soon as I'm all done I'll be there. You and Mommy are gonna go with Papa, Aunt Lynn, and little JC there to get everything ready. But I'll be there real soon. Daddy loves you."

Nora nodded, kissing her father, "I love you too daddy."

Happy entered his and Kayla's room glad to hear the shower on. He grabbed a duffle from the closet and was filling it when she came out. He didn't look up, "Just getting my shit and I'll be out."

Kayla looked at him, she had been with him long enough to know the guilt was eating him up from inside. She nodded her head, "Funeral's tomorrow."

Happy looked up and met her eyes and saw the longing, the need she had for him to hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright, but he couldn't. He couldn't till he showed her the fucking heads of the Mayan bastards that shot their son. "I'll be there."

Kayla took a ragged breath, "We're going to Tacoma to be near Karla."

Happy nodded, still grabbing shit from his dresser. Kayla hugged herself, trying to fight the tears, "That's it then. This is it? No goodbye, just silence? You hate me that much?"

Happy slammed his fists into his dresser, leaning down his palms flat on the top, he talked through gritted teeth, "AIn't like that, I have shit I have to do before…." He turned motioning between them, "THIS can be anything, if I hated you I won't give a shit, but I do give a shit."

Kayla nodded, wiping at the tears falling from her eyes, "So I'm alone in this?"

Happy growled, turning his back on her, it was too much to see her so torn apart, "You got your dad and Lynn. You guys all need each other right now."

Kayla took a few steps toward him, "What about you? What do you need?"

Happy turned around pulling from somewhere deep inside him, he had to do this if he got killed looking for the fucking Mayans, he wanted her hating him. She had lost so much he'd be damned if she sobbed over his coffin too, "Ain't nothing I need but my club." He grabbed his bag off the bed and left not giving her a second look. When he slammed the door he heard Kayla's sobs through the door. He stood there a mind his own heart tearing apart, he touched the door looking at his wedding band, his voice barely a whisper, "Hang on La, I'm gonna make this all right."

As he stormed down the stairs and out the front door he kept his eyes focused straight. Tig was still on the stairs, "Watch her, don't need her using . I'll be back when it's done." He picked up the pace heading for his bike.

Tig stood and watched his son-in-law go and knew that the man they called the Tacoma Killer was hurting as much as his little girl was. But he was on his own; Tig was the one who was going to have to put all the pieces back together for his daughter. Tig sighed feeling every one of his years as he went back into the house.

**-Hard to Love-**

Bikes were lined up for as far as the eye could see as Lynn pulled the SUV down the road of the cemetery. Kayla looked out the window closing her eyes, listening to the hum of the NOMADS and Tacoma behind her. The car came to a stop and she stared at the small burial site that was surrounded by SONS from all over the country. She knew they were paying tribute to not only her son but also Juice with their presence. The night before Lynn, JC, Tig, Quinn, and Ram the new NOMAD president had gone to a small park where Juice had taken Lynn on their first date and scattered his ashes at dusk. Kayla had been strong for her friend holding her as they said good bye in a small way to the goofy man that had touched all their lives. Lynn had joked that Juice always said that park reminded Juice of the shire from the movie the hobbit. It was just a fitting place for her geeky husband to be at rest.

Now it was Lynn's turn to hold her up as she said goodbye to her son. Kayla was startled back from her thoughts when Ram opened the door for her, offering her his hand. She gave him a tired smile as he helped her and Nora out of the SUV. Tig walked over picking up Nora, his hand going into Kayla's, she knew the sunglasses were for the tears, but she couldn't help but think her father looked handsome, "Let's go kitten, I'm right here." He squeezed her hand.

Kayla nodded, putting a small kiss on her father's cheek, "I know, thank you daddy."

They walked silently toward the burial site; there were four chairs empty in the front. Tig helped her into her seat placing Nora next to her; he sat on the other side of Nora, while Lynn sat with JC in her lap next to Kayla. Kayla had asked Lorca, Tacoma's president to say a few words for her son.

Lorca moved to stand in front of the small black coffin, "In times like this we need our family to hold us up, when things are tough and we just want to ask why. Victor Alexander Lowman was one of the cutest damn kids that every walked this Earth. He was a serious fellow, like his father, with a big heart like his mother. And even though his soul was taken from this us way too soon, his life touched more people than most. Jesus said that the little children were to come to him, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. I have no doubt that the little man is running around taking charge of heaven today just like the Teller-Lowman blood would dictate…"

Kayla stared at the coffin, listening to the words that Lorca said. She pictured Vic growing up, going on his first date, getting kicked out of school, driving his first car, his first bike. Wearing his prospect kutte and having his first child. All the things that he would get to do. Without realizing it, she had stood walking toward the coffin, kneeling on the ground next to it, tears streaming down her face. Her hand ghosting over the coffin, she laid her head down on the cold metal, her words a whisper, "You sleep now baby boy. Momma will be there real soon, you take real good care of grammie Gemma. Give her a kiss for me and tell her how much I love her. I love you baby boy and mommy's so sorry."

Tig watched her in horror, Nora crawling up onto his lap, sobbing. He could hear sniffling going on all around him. He went to stand up, when he felt Quinn's hand on his shoulder holding him in place. Tig watched as Ram walked around and knelt down whispering to Kayla. She nodded her head and started to stand, but her legs gave out and Ram caught her scooping her up. Tig and Lynn stood with the kids and walked behind Ram and Kayla back to the car. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Happy and Koz standing together, the big man's face hidden behind sunglasses, but Tig could tell he was crying too.

Happy had wanted to go to her, when she fell and he felt hatred for himself burn through his veins when the big young NOMAD scooped her up and carried her back to the SUV. Koz kept his hand on his shoulder, squeezing as Happy's breaths came out in small gasps. He watched as his family pulled away from the funeral and he vowed he would fix this, he would kill the fuckers that took his son and he would bring his family back together. He had too.

**Alright….UGH….the last of the really heavy stuff. I need a drink and about two days sleep. But I'm going to try to post the last chapter today! I'm gonna work on getting this one done! Ok, thank you guys for all the love of the last chapter, you'll never know how hard it was to write and this one was worse. I listened to the song, "The Sun Will Rise" by Kelly Clarkson, it kind of puts me in the mind of where both Kayla and Happy are at this moment. Ok, enjoy your weekend….Kaye**


	34. Epilogue

Chapter 34….Epilogue

**This chapter will lead into the new story which I will try to post the first chapter of by Monday and the video that goes with it. That one will have a lot less crying and a lot more sexual build up and love. Ok, that one will just be a little on the smutty side, but damn Kayla and Happy both should have that. Not to mention poor Lynn….her eyes will be open to a whole new side of life!**

**So here is the end of Hard to Love! This story has been a joy and heartbreak to write. I never thought one of my stories would be this popular. I want to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to even look at this one. I will continue to add from time to time on the Quinn and Karla's, 'God Love Her', because I have requests for them. **

**Well here it goes; we've reached the end of the line. Enjoy and thanks for hanging on for the ride. Kaye**

**-Hard to Love-**

**One Year Later, Tacoma, Washington**

Tig had his head under the hood of a '97 Olds when he heard the sound of bikes thundering into the yard. He had stayed close to home in the last year that he, Lynn, and Kayla had made the move to Tacoma. He was a NOMAD now and wore the patch proudly, he didn't mind working under Ram, even though the kid was a little wet behind the ears for him, he had been trained by Quinn and for Tig that had been enough. Ram was very understanding when he stayed off the road from time to time to help the two women that he kept a protective eye over a hump. Sometimes it was a birthday, or Mother's Day, or an anniversary, but Tig had been there through it all. He was there when Lynn disappeared for two days before Juice's birthday only to come home exhausted and half drunk. He was there when Vic's first birthday passed and he found Kayla sitting at the clubhouse with an unopened bottle in her hands. He had seen them through it all without hesitation, they were the family he never asked for, but always wanted. Now the sound of the lone bike pulling into place with the others snapped him out of his daze. Tig looked up to Happy Lowman get off his bike.

Tig sighed, putting down his tools; he grabbed a rag and walked toward his son-in-law. Happy nodded to Tig, Tig squared his shoulders, the Tacoma Killer had stayed in Charming after his family had left, much to Tig's dismay. He showed up from time to time, usually after he had killed one of the four men that had been responsible for his son's death. The first time Hap had returned he came to the house. That had gone badly, Kayla and Nora hadn't seen him for four months and she was enraged. He showed up at three in the morning trying to kiss her and tell her how much he missed her, drunk off his ass. Kayla had held a gun on the Killer and told him if he so much as touched her again she would end him. Tig had taken to sneaking Nora away when Hap came into town so the man could at least see his daughter. Kayla never say anything when Nora said she saw her daddy, she would just kiss her father's cheek and act like nothing happened. Kayla would talk about Vic would cry; break down, but Happy was a subject that NO ONE, not even Lynn tried to talk to her about. His absence had torn apart what was left of his daughter's heart.

Tig sighed, "Back for a visit?"

Hap nodded, "Yeah, I was hoping to come over tonight to see Nora and talk to Kayla."

Tig nodded, looking across the yard at Ram who stood glaring in Happy's direction, "This won't have anything to do with a certain Son pushing up on my daughter would it?"

Happy huffed pulling a smoke from his kutte, "I ain't worried about that fucker."

Tig smirked to himself as he watched Kayla's Ford Shelby pull onto the lot. Nora throwing open the door. He saw the look on Happy's face go from happy to rage, when the little girl didn't even notice him, "UNCLE RAM! She got it! She got it!"

Happy watched as his little girl, his daughter ran toward the big fucker and throw her arms around his neck as he scooped her up twirling her around, the NOMAD president glared at him with satisfaction as his little girl snuggled into his neck, "She got it huh?"

Nora pulled away giggling, "Yes! We are going to be theatre owners! Isn't it awesome! Mommy said I could have my own desk and everything!"

Ram chuckled, "That's awesome peaches and cream."

Happy looked over at his wife, her face half hidden by sunglasses. He knew she was staring at him, he knew the hate that he had worked a whole year on building was right there plain on her face. But it was over, he had finished it. He had gunned down every asshole that had been responsible for the death of their son and now he was ready. He was ready to be here, to be with her, to do whatever it took to make her understand. The one problem he wasn't counting on was the big ass mother fucker that was now walking toward his wife, HIS OLD LADY, holding his daughter in his arms. Happy growled as he watched Kayla turn and smile at the asshole.

Kayla had gotten out of the car; her eyes focused on Ram, the man had been a god send the last year. He understood having lost his wife and daughter five years before to a fire. He knew the pain of losing a child and had been patient with her, helping her and Nora through so much. The memory of him showing up on Christmas with a Santa beard on still made her giggle. He just seemed to know what to say and what to do when she was at her lowest. He was the one who had pushed her to purchase the old theatre with the money she got from her buy out of her share of Teller-Morrow. Now watching her daughter hug up to one of the most dangerous men in the MC world she sighed. As she turned her head she saw her father, but standing next to him was the one man that would always have her heart.

He looked older, the past year etched on his face. She hadn't seen him since their drunken run in, in her kitchen over nine months ago. He had been rough with her that night, asking her who she was letting touch her, but in that year there had been no one. She needed time to get her head straight. Time to try to deal with the betrayals and hurt that losing her son had done to her. Now just looking at him, her heart surged, her body reacted to seeing him there, his body a testament to years of hard work and dedication. She could almost feel his muscles under her hands and she clenched her fists to stop herself from reaching out toward him. She saw his face set in that hard pissed off look he wore so often. She followed his line of sight and saw him staring at their daughter giggling and laughing with Ram. When she looked back at Happy she saw that look was just his normal pissed off look, but it was mixed with fear and jealous. A combination that made the man she married a very dangerous mother fucker. She swallowed hard as he turned to look at her. She steeled herself, not letting him see that his presence was getting to her, he had to anoint for what he did. She didn't blame him for Vic; she had for awhile, but not now. She DID blame him for leaving her and Nora alone.

She turned as Ram smiled down at her, Nora in his arms, "How's it going Ta?"

Kayla giggled; Ram had called her Ta since he saw her in her sleep shorts shortly after they moved to Tacoma. He said it was short for Tits and Ass, but it never stopped the blush that came to her cheeks. "It's going pretty damn good. This one here was promised ice cream today and a ride on your bike?"

Ram tickled Nora, "Is that so? Who said that?"

Nora was laughing hard, "You did Uncle Ram! You promised and it was on your kutte so you HAVE to take me!"

Ram sighed, playing irritated, "I did. Alright short stuff, go say hi to your papa and your dad and then we'll go."

Nora twisted in his arms, her eyes going wide when she saw Happy. She squirmed out of Ram's arms, running toward her father, "DADDY!"

Happy knelt down a big smile plastered across his face, "Hey baby girl." He scooped her up and littered her face with kisses, "Have ya been good?"

Nora giggled, "Yes daddy I'm always good!"

Tig huffed, from next to them, "Bullshit. What'd I tell ya about lying like that?"

Nora crossed her arms and huffed, looking like a perfect mixture of Happy and Kayla, "Well then you will tell the truth about why you and Auntie Lynn were sleeping in the same bed last weekend."

Tig went pale, his eyebrow quirking at his granddaughter, "Shut it kid. I gave ya money for that to stay between you and me."

Happy looked at Tig and chuckled, "You and Lynn, huh?"

Tig punched him hard in the back, "Shut it asshole."

Happy looked at his daughter, "So want to hang with your old man today?"

Nora looked uneasy as she looked over at her mom and Ram who were talking quietly, "Well Uncle Ram said if I got a good report card he'd take me for ice cream on his bike today. Maybe you could come too?"

Happy smirked; he looked over and saw the big mother fucker had a hand on his wife's arm, running it up and down like he was reassuring her. "I'd love to go princess, but you ride with me."

Nora shook her head hard, hugging her father; she skipped with her hand in his toward her mother and Ram. Nora smiled, "Mommy, daddy is going to go with us! I'm so excited."

Kayla sighed, "I'm sure your daddy is tired from his trip and needs to get a shower and some rest."

Happy kept his eyes on his brother who was glaring right back at him, "Oh no, I'm good. I'll catch a shower later; maybe your mommy can help me with my back."

Ram snorted, his arm going around Kayla casually, "Well she's busy tonight. Party at the clubhouse for Karla Quinn finishing up her chemo."

Happy grinned picking up his daughter and moving closer to the dumb ass, "Oh that's good, they're voting on my transfer today too." He looked right at Kayla, "To Tacoma. Now let's go for ice cream."

Happy walked toward his bike with Nora in his arms. He saw the shocked looks on both Ram and Kayla's face. He snickered as he put Nora on the bike getting her helmet all set, Ram stomped pass him getting on his bike, _That's right motherfucker, daddy's home._

**Alright….just a short little something. When 'The Sun Will Rise' picks up it will focus on them one year after leaving Charming. Happy will transfer to Tacoma and the lines will be drawn. Did you see the hint that maybe something happened between Tig and Lynn and he was ashamed of himself about it….well that will all be in the new story. Just so you know neither Kayla or Happy have cheated, I was asked that a lot. So here's the end. Thank you so much for being part of this with me. I hope you will follow me on into the next story! **

**Wishing you all the peace the world and the heavens can give! Stay safe out there and Ride hard, Kaye**


End file.
